hi...felt like writing a bulletin about some stuff going on ^_^ thanks for dropping in! sorry if it's long, just getting some stuff off my chest

1. first of all apologies for slow art...ik i only owe art to two people so i'm not sure if they will be reading this and it hasn't even been a month yet but still i feel guilty, so apologies regardless! i...really bit off more than i could chew rn with this last batch of art trades graaahhh not to say i'm unhappy doing them!! but things are slow right now. i'm not planning on taking on more owed art for a while after this, truthfully i'm at a very low point with my art and my self esteem over it and i think trying too hard to monetize my designs as well as be "seen" in any way online, being put in a position of needing to constantly lower my prices or place an acceptable "worth" on my art and not really reaching my goals there is ruining my relationship with my own artwork...i have a lot of irl factors playing into it too it's just. Hard but i really need to take some time to just do personal art, draw my characters, regain my passion for creating and not worry about if anyone likes my work or not ^_^; i appreciate any support i do receive, with all that said! but it's getting to a point where being online and being on this website as well is a bit unhealthy for me.

2. while i'm not allowed to post a preview of the design, i'm currenly participating in a collab with a group of artists to raise money for palestine, specifically the PCRF (palestine children's relief fund)! i'm very excited about it and more info should be dropping soon as the deadline wraps up in a few days...i've made an anthro design with cookie dough ice cream as the theme--a spotted puppy dog since i know people love those :] it comes with a mini ref with a fullbody + chibi and a couple accessories, 100% of the profits go to charity and i'm very excited to post it! i hope you'll all look forward to it, there's lots of other really amazing designs in the works by a few of my mutuals and other lovely artists!

3. i apologize for late or otherwise inconsistent replies; briefly touched on in the first segment but outside of artwork i'm also just not doing very well, and it's extremely difficult for me to keep up communication especially when i'm in a bigger dip with mental health. those who know me a bit more or have access to my priv twitter are aware of more details which i'm not gonna talk about here but i have not been in a good living situation for almost 5 years now on top of ridiculous loads of severe trauma, which unfortunately does Crazy things to my already bad mental health lol and just makes being able to function every day incredibly inconsistent. i started an intensive form of PTSD-based therapy recently which has been somewhat productive but it's also Very hard work and kind of leaves me feeling triggered throughout most of the week (and it's only gonna get worse from here yippee!) so...another reason why art is a bit slower right now. unfortunately i don't have any kind of support system outside of my wife which is a lot of pressure on her and i need to start taking care of myself better for both our sakes. i really desperately have been wanting to reach out to people more and make friends but it feels nearly impossible for me with severe social anxiety and idk how to remedy that...i honestly just feel like i do not have any worth as a human being and it's uh. kind of effecting Everything in my life adfh;af9235 (this is no fault of anyone's but myself of course, i hope that doesn't come across as guilt trippy?? omg...)

yah idk i'm just rambling. i recently invested in an old ds lite + some pokemon games to keep myself occupied, since i haven't had access to all my belongings in 5 years so it was time to invest in some new ones i guess. just trying to find things to keep me busy and not spiraling as terribly as i could be...been saying it for a decade now with no luck but i hope eventually things will start looking up for me someday! we shall hope 💪 ty for reading, wishing you all well!