I really don't want to keep fighting anymore . I don't want to fight with anybody anymore.
the ordeal a few days ago was stressful enough and I don't want this year to start off terrible . it might as well already be, but it's really only up to me to decide my perceptions of the year so far. last year, I was filled with so many negative emotions fueled by "drama" between friends and people I dislike, confusion and spite being prominent ones. because of that, most of what I've done is imitate people's bad behaviors inflicted on me to "cope", but it's only done more harm to those I've been trying to heal from . take my two former friends, for example.
I've felt hurt by things they've said to me, joke or not. they weren't able to understand that because I never told them, and eventually, I was so hurt by them without communicating my feelings that I lashed out at them multiple times and . well, I made a huge deal out of things that could have been solved privately. this has happened several times with different people before and after them. this included kenny, hatty, and I guess even roxie. she's . literally a groomer, but there are some things she did that I definitely reacted unfairly to because of a lack of communication of boundaries.
in 2018, you were one of these people. I was uncomfortable with your excessive criticism of me. I was uncomfortable with you pointing out every mistake I made. I was uncomfortable with you putting yourself above everyone else in the group. I was definitely uncomfortable with you degrading me for the interests I had at the time. (although if you made fun of those same interests I had now, I wouldn't really give a shit given it was all weird anime) but eventually, you called me a drama whore for the first time EVER and I had enough of it. at that point, the shit you put me through started genuinely angering me and when I got the chance, I left you and warned everybody about you. I perceived you as abusive, and while you've done some terrible shit to my other former friends from the time, I don't .. really hate you for the things you've done to me anymore .
...at least back then, the drive from october was really fucked, peppy.
OH ! and how you stole my mouth album characters. main reason why I got detached from them.
and the cp of teal tablets characters from june 2020 you did with roxie. I'm gonna be honest, I don't know why you thought that was a good idea ??
but none of that is the point. let me explain to you what is. we've both done a lot of nasty shit. I'm not even going to deny it. I wasn't a very good person in 2021. you've always been kind of awful to me. but in the grand scheme of things, none of it should matter ! I went on a trip about two weeks ago halfway across the US and back and I thought the entire time about how there's genuinely more to life than the toxicity of the internet ! I started using the internet to indulge in the things I like and enjoy myself, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do now . I don't want to be unfair to anybody anymore. I don't want to spend time trying to expose people for stuff that I don't even care about anymore. I don't want to hurt anybody because of warped perceptions anymore. If I don't like someone, I'll just block them. If someone makes me uncomfortable and it's severely affecting me, I'll just disassociate from them. I want to look out for myself. I want to support artists and musicians and friends I really, really like. no drama should be necessary. from now on, I just want to have fun here. and to anybody I've hurt in the past, I want to make amends. and that includes you.
peppy, I want you to hear me. you've hurt me. real bad. but I don't want it to loom over me, and I don't want what I've done to you to loom over you.
I'm sorry for being so pressed over you all these years. It's done nothing but damage to both of us. while you've done some inexcusable stuff, me trying to paint you as some abusive dipshit at a very young age (we were both 11 and 12 in 2018, mind you) up until now wasn't big help with that and it might be the sole reason you're like this today. I'm genuinely sorry for that.
as for you, I propose you take an extended break from indulging in drama and spend less time on the internet and maybe .. find some peace. despite your actions, you have a lot of room to improve. you're just a kid, after all. both of us are. and I hope you can improve yourself, just like I'm trying to. and you might make some mistakes here and there, but it's all part of growing.
I genuinely hope the best for you in the long run, sylvie.
SYMBOLS
change it then
2 years, 5 months ago
HUH ?
2 years, 5 months ago
I said change it if you can't take yourself seriously ^__^
2 years, 5 months ago
okay, bitch, you're replying way too quickly for me to even comprehend your intentions ...
how are you still stuck in 2018 ? the year just fucking started ! get with the times girl it's 2022
2 years, 5 months ago
if i'm stuck in 2018 then stop lying about me and toxxie and everybody you've hurt in that same year you drama whore bitch
2 years, 5 months ago
answer me whore ^___^
2 years, 5 months ago
peppy, for the love of god ...
I really don't want to keep fighting anymore . I don't want to fight with anybody anymore.
the ordeal a few days ago was stressful enough and I don't want this year to start off terrible . it might as well already be, but it's really only up to me to decide my perceptions of the year so far. last year, I was filled with so many negative emotions fueled by "drama" between friends and people I dislike, confusion and spite being prominent ones. because of that, most of what I've done is imitate people's bad behaviors inflicted on me to "cope", but it's only done more harm to those I've been trying to heal from . take my two former friends, for example.
I've felt hurt by things they've said to me, joke or not. they weren't able to understand that because I never told them, and eventually, I was so hurt by them without communicating my feelings that I lashed out at them multiple times and . well, I made a huge deal out of things that could have been solved privately. this has happened several times with different people before and after them. this included kenny, hatty, and I guess even roxie. she's . literally a groomer, but there are some things she did that I definitely reacted unfairly to because of a lack of communication of boundaries.
in 2018, you were one of these people. I was uncomfortable with your excessive criticism of me. I was uncomfortable with you pointing out every mistake I made. I was uncomfortable with you putting yourself above everyone else in the group. I was definitely uncomfortable with you degrading me for the interests I had at the time. (although if you made fun of those same interests I had now, I wouldn't really give a shit given it was all weird anime) but eventually, you called me a drama whore for the first time EVER and I had enough of it. at that point, the shit you put me through started genuinely angering me and when I got the chance, I left you and warned everybody about you. I perceived you as abusive, and while you've done some terrible shit to my other former friends from the time, I don't .. really hate you for the things you've done to me anymore .
...at least back then, the drive from october was really fucked, peppy.
OH ! and how you stole my mouth album characters. main reason why I got detached from them.
and the cp of teal tablets characters from june 2020 you did with roxie. I'm gonna be honest, I don't know why you thought that was a good idea ??
but none of that is the point. let me explain to you what is.
we've both done a lot of nasty shit. I'm not even going to deny it. I wasn't a very good person in 2021. you've always been kind of awful to me. but in the grand scheme of things, none of it should matter ! I went on a trip about two weeks ago halfway across the US and back and I thought the entire time about how there's genuinely more to life than the toxicity of the internet ! I started using the internet to indulge in the things I like and enjoy myself, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do now . I don't want to be unfair to anybody anymore. I don't want to spend time trying to expose people for stuff that I don't even care about anymore. I don't want to hurt anybody because of warped perceptions anymore. If I don't like someone, I'll just block them. If someone makes me uncomfortable and it's severely affecting me, I'll just disassociate from them. I want to look out for myself. I want to support artists and musicians and friends I really, really like. no drama should be necessary. from now on, I just want to have fun here. and to anybody I've hurt in the past, I want to make amends. and that includes you.
peppy, I want you to hear me. you've hurt me. real bad. but I don't want it to loom over me, and I don't want what I've done to you to loom over you.
I'm sorry for being so pressed over you all these years. It's done nothing but damage to both of us. while you've done some inexcusable stuff, me trying to paint you as some abusive dipshit at a very young age (we were both 11 and 12 in 2018, mind you) up until now wasn't big help with that and it might be the sole reason you're like this today. I'm genuinely sorry for that.
as for you, I propose you take an extended break from indulging in drama and spend less time on the internet and maybe .. find some peace. despite your actions, you have a lot of room to improve. you're just a kid, after all. both of us are. and I hope you can improve yourself, just like I'm trying to. and you might make some mistakes here and there, but it's all part of growing.
I genuinely hope the best for you in the long run, sylvie.
2 years, 5 months ago