I'm tired of being a failure...Years of work and nothing to show for it. A constant struggle with self worth, I'm hecka tired.
I want to die.
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This thread is locked indefinitely. TH doesn't really need an excuse to create more negativity than already exists on the site. Goodbye!
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I have an exam today I didn't have the time to read to and even though I'll either way do it later in summer when I have more time to prepare I still want to go there to check out what the exam is actually like HOWEVER my entire body is falling apart and I feel so faint and sick I don't think I can stand there like 20 minutes just waiting for +100 people to get their exam papers individually
I feel like I'm showing signs of toxicity and I can't tell if it's the anxiety or if it's an actual problem I need to address.
Trying to redecorate my room, rearrange things and reorganize stuff. The place is looking better, but I'm not sure if it's helping me. I'm doing this for myself but can't tell if I'll just end up being the same garbage of a person as usual. If anything I should just throw myself away from my own room, from the entire world for being garbage.. or maybe it's just numbness doing this. I blame meds for that. One of the reasons why I don't like meds, but withdrawal syndrome is a bitch.
My best friend is moving to the other side of the continent tomorrow for the foreseeable future which is good bc it sucks here & now he is Free & I'm so happy 4 him but also I am sad :^(
He gave me all this food/spices n skincare products etc that he couldn't bring which was so nice but now my house smells like him which is the worst thing when u miss someone :^{
I thought we agreed on the alternative why are pushing the other thing back on em please stop I don’t want this, let me chose my own damned path, I know I am slow just accept it
Also think I figured out why I get chest pains... anxiety + stress seem to be the cause