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I don't know what the absolute fuck I wanna draw anymore
Like I like anime to some extent but I can't pull it off
But Like everything else I draw is bad
Eh I guess I'll just hold off digital art and practice in a sketch book until I hit a wall and realize I fucking hate everything I draw and go in a deep slope of self loathing for a few months then come back from it eventually only to return back to the same mentality. fun
yes, i took my pills. no, just because you were too busy sitting on your ass watching tv doesnt mean i didnt take them. and no, arguing with me about if i did or didnt take them when i *did* is just not gonna proove anything.
ugh i can't believe i've lost my tablet pen again i haven't been able to find it for like a week
i've looked everywhere! it's no-where in my room! it shouldn't have gone far considering i only ever draw in the same one spot but it's not in the bed, not under the bed, not in my drawers, not under my drawers, not in any of my bags ect - it just means i've likely lost it when i've taken my tablet to someone's house 😥
this'll be the SECOND time i've had to replace it i wish i wasn't so prone to losing things bc i literally can't afford to keep replacing them when i do
bet when i do buy a new one i'll find it the next day bc that's what happened last time even tho it was missing for over a month then :/ but i ended up losing it again anyway so having a backup was helpful i guess but now i have none
might have to do traditional colouring again in the meantime
I hate ppl who spam dollmaker screenshots in DA groups.
and others commenting "oh ur art is so pretty!" - it's not their art, u dumb piece of wet cardboard.
^ i literally went here because of that
big fucking yikes my dudes
edit: here i go again because i'm sure so fucking glad i live in a country where politicians see gay people on the same horrible level as people who are fucking animals or children. we just want to get married that's all you homophobic harpy
OKAY SO-
This is going to be a wild fucking ride so grab your popcorn and sit comfortably.
I'm in my school's GSA, which is about 12 people and 11 of them are freshmen (I'm one of them.) Most of those people are very,,, idk what to call it, cliquey? Basically everyone knows everyone and I'm the odd one out. So the school is doing Day of Silence on April 12. I volunteered to help with signups during lunch. I was so excited! I thought it was going to be calm, we'd chat a little, and we'd just explain to people what the event is about. Boy, was I wrong. The other 2-4 volunteers did nothing but talk and we only got 20-something people to sign up out of a school of 1,800. We're doing signups again for the rest of the week.
I was feeling very left out. I tried to talk, but I ended up saying the wrong things and I was either ignored or treated like a little kid. I almost fucking left because I know they don't want me there. The only thing that kept me at the table was one of the people (who's tried to reach out to me before, out of pity) who begged me to stay. I think it was just because they felt bad making 'the quiet girl' upset.
I'm just really upset. I want to belong. I want to be a part of a group.
Then again, I probably shouldn't be involved with the likes of them. They mentioned hiding something and worrying about being searched. Probably a vape or something. I don't get along with people who vape and honestly I don't think I'd mesh well with them, if I were to actually be friends with them.
My feelings contradict each other. I feel so complicated. I want to be a part of a group but at the same time I don't?
Someone help me. Has anyone else felt like this? Am I alone? Am I just eternally doomed to be the quiet kid?
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Okay, do you want me to do my homework, or do you want to just stress me out even further? The latter? Okay then. Just stress me out more.