I'm Sorry For Something I Didn't Do (Yet)
The thoughts and feelings of a man too loyal for his own good.
You all care about me, but the feeling is bittersweet at times. You've seen me bleeding, seen me curled in on myself, seen me vomiting and shaking from something I didn't mean to happen. You have not seen my face.
I hold your hand and think about how each one is smaller than mine, how easy it would be to crush it in my grasp, you smile up at me.
We watch movies and I am somehow the pillow again, there are too many people far too close to me, but I'd rather not ask you all to leave. I fall asleep last, how do you all feel so comfortable around someone like me?
You remembered my favorite food.
I did not want to know you, but now I do. It's unfair, really, because now I don't want to lose you. Why'd you do that to me?
You care about me, I care about you too. I'm sorry for that. I'd burn the world down for you, probably.
We dance together, there's so much laughter in the room. Am I the only one who thinks about when this will all end? Hopefully it's not anytime soon, hopefully I'm the first one to go. I'd rather not have to feel the pain you've cursed me to with the way you all smile.
I want to keep you safe, but I know that if they told me to, I would willingly be the end of you.