Paca Prompt: Halloween Adventure

It was a spooky October evening in the local botanical garden, and the place was alive with pacapillar festivities.  The landscape was dotted with little tents and stalls, and the air abuzz with chattering voices; pacas offering homemade treats and haunted treasures, others promoting festive games like bobbing for apples (win a bearhug!) and hit the bozu with the gold berry (a guaranteed prize no matter how bad your aim!).  Further away, a grassy field hosted a cluster of eerie looking tents and rickety looking sheds...  These were the Magnum Opus of a scary night, the famed Haunted Alley where only the bravest of pacas dared to enter to get their feelers totally spooked off!

There was something for everyone at this year’s haunted fair!  But where to start?  Teacup looked to and fro at the snacks and games and big spooky tents, bouncing up and down on her nubs with indecisiveness, her eyes wide with wonder at all the sights and smells and sounds.  It was only when another pacapillar sidled up beside her that she finally gathered her thoughts and settled down, whirling around to face them with excitement.

"Pateenie!"  She squeaked, gazing intently into the eyes of her partner as they jolted in surprise.  "There's so much to do, where do you want to explore first for our... our...."  She trailed off, clapping her nubs to her face and scrunching it up with barely contained glee.

"Date?"  Patina couldn't help but hide a fond smile at her excitement, feeling their cheeks turn a little pink at the thrill of the word.  This was Teacup's first Halloween in the Garden, and having never experienced a spooky festival before, they had decided to go together and make it a date!

A whole Halloween date, just the two of them... Patina had planned the entire evening out in their mind...  They were going to feast on pumpkin pie and caramel apples, drink warm, spiced cider and buy a matching pair of masks to wear as they browsed the stalls and stockpiled candy to eat at home later.  They'd try their luck at the games and Patina would do their best to win Teacup a prize because she was so cute and excited, she deserved it!  But after that...?  Well, if they weren't too tired they could sit on the hay bales and paca-watch, hold nubs, and maybe... kiss a little under the full moon...?

"Pateenie?"  Teacup's sweet little voice interrupted their thoughts, startling them out of their daydreaming.  "Are you ok?  Your face is red."

"Ah!"  Patina wiggled their feelers in embarrassment.  "Yeah I'm fine!  But h-hey, what were you looking forward to most this evening?"  They cleared their throat, quick to change the subject.

"What I'm most looking forward to...?"  Teacup cocked her head, tapping a nub thoughtfully on her chin.  "Hmm well... I was most excited to go to the festival with Pateenie and here I am!"  She flashed the other pacapillar a bright smile.  "But if I really think about it... hmm...  I was really excited to try all the new foods and play all the festival games... but I think... what I really want to do is meet a monster!"

Patina, who had been nodding along with her musings up until the last sentence, froze at the word.

"A... monster, Teacup?"  They prodded timidly.

"Yes!  A big, scary, spooky monster!"  Teacup bounced up and down with giddy excitement at the thought.  "It is my first Halloween and Halloween is a scary holiday, so... I want to see something scary!"  She laid it out like it was the simplest thing in the world, earning a nervous chuckle.

Patina was a very shy pacapillar on the best of days, someone who liked their peace and quiet and simple routine.  The thought of facing down frightful ghosts and scary shadows made them begin to tremble.  But Teacup didn't seem to notice, and she looked so cute when she was excited... how could they possibly say no to her?

Be brave, Patina.  They thought to themself.  Do it for her...!

"Well..." they cleared their throat to stop the anxious quake in their voice.  "I can't disappoint you, can I?  Let’s... head for those haunted houses then...!"  With a smile that looked more confident than they felt, they reached out for Teacup's nub and made a very shaky but determined step towards the eerie sheds in the distance.

"Hold it right there!"

Patina's core nearly flew out of their chest at the sudden witchy command that came from behind them.  They spun around, nudging Teacup protectively behind them, only to come face to face with... a very plain looking lilac colored pacapillar, her long feelers tied back and thrown over one shoulder.  There was a mischievous glimmer in her eyes and a smile that could only be described as uncomfortably eager.

"Can we help you?"  Patina frowned.  The newcomer’s only reply was to cackle menacingly, before pushing past them to confront a very curious and bewildered Teacup.

"You said you wanted to see a monster, right?" she grinned.  "Well don't bother with those spooky sheds over there, they've got damp little frights that couldn't scare the lily off a lilyp.  Why settle for one silly monster in a sad little room when I, the great ROKURO, master of all things wonderfully witchy and delightfully devilish, could take you to my MONSTER MYSTERY PALACE and hook you up with THREE!  Genuine!  Bona-fide monsters... all for the same price."

"Three whole monsters?!"  Teacup gasped in awe.  "Are they big and scary?"

Rokuro let out another witchy chuckle.  "The biggest and scariest in all the festival!  And you and your date could be the first to get your nubs spooked off by em!"  She winked.  "For only five leaflets too!  Couple's discount."

Patina wrinkled their nose and opened their mouth to tell the pushy eavesdropper that they weren't interested, when they felt the pitter patter of Teacup's excited tapping on their arm.  The protest stilled in their throat as they gazed into her big, hopeful eyes.

"Three big monsters, Pateenie!!!"  Teacup whispered dramatically. "Can we go and meet them?  Please?"   She had begun to wiggle with the excitement of it all again.  

Their resolve was gone and Patina absolutely melted.  How could they possibly say no to that adorable face??  They swallowed down their fear at the idea of being spooked three times instead of just once, and fished into their scarf for a handful of leaflets.

"Okay," they nodded, gently nuzzling Teacup's nose with their own.  "Only the scariest of monsters for our scary date..."  Their adoring expression quickly faded as they turned back to the other pacapillar and thrust their leaflets out at her.  "You'd better not disappoint her."

"No disappointments here."  Rokuro tittered, heading towards a candle wreathed bush and beckoning for them to follow.  "But no refunds either.  Step right this way!"

---

Hidden beneath the bush was a surprise!  There was a neat little pacapillar sized track in the dirt beneath its low hanging branches, lit with the gentle glow of many floating and bobbing whirrs.

"You do NOT want to know what it took to get them to come and haunt my patch."  Rokuro grumbled as the other two pacapillars slowed their steps to watch the drifting creatures in awe.  "They make a nice atmosphere don't they?  Almost romantic?  Strain your ears a lil harder and you'll hear the RESTLESS SPIRITS FROM BEYOND THE GRAAVE."

Teacup gasped.  "Pateenie, I can hear them!"  she pressed herself nervously into Patina's side, peering up at the leaves overhead.  "Ghosts!"

The other pacapillar gently smoothed her feelers and watched as a whirr bobbed past them, chased by the sound of incessant whispering.  "Don't be scared," they soothed, "You've never seen a whirr before, have you?  There's no ghosts, it’s just the funny little noises they make."

The fear seemed to melt off of Teacup at the explanation and she straightened up to peer at the creatures with newfound curiosity.  "Oh that's a whirrs?  Wow!"

The three of them walked on in silence, taking in the whispers and the scenery when suddenly Rokuro lurched to a halt, causing Patina to bump into her.

"Look!"  She whispered dramatically, pointing to something that was currently wriggling out of the dirt in front of them.  "Do you see it?  The garish colors, the way it writhes... Feast your eyes upon my pair of GIANT PAC-EATING DEATH WORMS and know true fear!!!  They won't let us past!"

Right before their eyes, a duo of worms reared out of the dirt!  Tall and imposing in the whirr-light, they swayed like a pair of cobras, lashing out at the pacapillars in their path.  From behind them, Patina could hear Teacup gasp in fear.  Something seemed... off though.

Wanting to test a theory they rolled their shawl back over their shoulders, scuttling forward to firmly grab at one of the worms.  Just like they thought - it felt remarkably nubby!  They gave it a sharp tug, then another and another, trying to pull it out of the ground!

"YEOWCH OWCH OWCH!"  

The worm yanked itself free of Patina's hands and wiggled backwards, while at the same time the other one bopped them on their head and sent them stumbling too!  Both worms disappeared underground and were shortly replaced with.... the head and torso of a very indignant looking brown paca, with a big scowl on its otherwise adorable face.  "Hey, what's da big idea pullin on my tails like that!?"

Of all the tricks they had expected, a Whole Buried Pacapillar had not been one of them!  But now that Dirt was above ground, clambering onto the path while brushing off bits of gravel and stray leaves, Patina could see how they'd make a fitting monster.  From head to nubs the paca before them had a texture that matched the earthy path, and some very impressive wormy looking feelers.

"Sorry..." they mumbled apologetically, rubbing their head.  "I didn't realize the worms were uh... yours."  They looked down at the churned earth where the other paca had clearly been hiding.  "How long have you been down there?"

Dirt grinned.  "Who cares!  I heard youse coming and covered up.  I was promised a good time this evening if I sat here and pranked people so I was hoping for a bit more fun."  She cocked their head, shaking loose a stray pebble with a snicker.  "Did I hit ya hard?  Were you scared?  I'll forgive you for pulling on my tail if you were."

Patina looked back at Teacup who had shuffled over.  "I was scared!"  She exclaimed.  "Um.. only for a moment though because Pateenie was so brave!"  She looked at the green paca with fond eyes.  "But then I was scared again because you hit them!  But then..." after making sure Patina's head was ok they frowned thoughtfully at the paca in front of them.  "You're not a giant pac-eating death worm, you're just like us!"

Dirt crossed her nubs and snickered again.  "I got you good didn't I!"  She beamed.  "But you know.. I didn't think you was gonna grab me.  Sorry for hittin you, it was kind of a reflex."  She walked over to join Teacup in patting Patina's head while casting a sidelong look towards Rokuro.  "You didn't say nothin about guests coming up to pull on me!"

"I didn't think they would.  I thought everyone knew better than to touch a worm on Halloween."  the lilac pacapillar reasoned weakly, somewhat embarrassed at the scene they had caused.  "But you're having fun punching people, right?  Can you get back into the ground?"

Dirt blew a raspberry and dove back into the hole.  "Punchin people's fun cuz I'm big n strong but I don't want them pulling my tails!  Your next guests better be nice to me!"  She kicked up a shower of pebbles and earth that caused the others to shield their eyes, but once it had settled the path was clear and smooth again... only this time, with Dirt's face peeking out from the middle of it.

"Do ya think they'll be more scared of a haunted path?"  She asked, wiggling her cheek nubs.  "I'm gonna shout obscenities at everyone until they run for the hills!  Lemme practice my spooky noises."

Rokuro coughed, giving Patina and Teacup a gentle nudge to usher them away down the path, the three of them serenaded by the sounds of Dirt practicing ghost wails and threatening pawoo howls until they finally emerged from the bush.

---

What greeted them on the other side was not something Patina had expected.  Instead of the familiar garden of trees, the three pacapillars found themselves standing in a field of pink and white mushrooms, ringed in the confines of a carefully assembled popsicle stick fence.  A large purple and orange striped tent had been assembled on the other side of the fungal mass, its interior lit with a curious blue light.  Rokuro made a little flourish, bowing out of the way to let Patina and Teacup cross.

"Be careful where you step in this soft n mushy landscape and don't stare too long at the mushrooms."  She grinned.  "They might stare right back at you!  Yes my dear guests, these aren't any ordinary shrooms... they're CAMOUFLAGE!  For our resident PACAMORPH, a little alien who's gonna infect your brain with its spores and take control of your bodies!"  To emphasize she slapped the nearest mushroom, which responded with a squeak and sent a cloud of cottony spores shooting into the air.  

Patina squinted, were these more whirrs?  One floated down to land daintily on Teacup's nose, causing her to sneeze loudly.

"Oh!"  she giggled, scrunching up her face.  "Those are tickly!"

"Don't breathe em in too deeply or they'll get in your braaain.  And then you'll turn into a mushroom!"  Rokuro whispered, giving a low witchy chuckle as Teacup grabbed a corner of Patina's shawl to cover her snoot with.  "But go ahead and cross the field!  Just remember that the pacamorph is watching your every move... and it'll grab you when you least expect it!"

Patina frowned, already done with Rokuro's theatrics.  They reached for Teacup's hand and the two began to inch their way through the mushrooms.  The soft, rubbery fungus came in many different shapes and sizes from round to pointed, some as small as their nubs while others reached about halfway up their bodies.  There were a handful that were even larger still, big and white like giant paca-sized puffballs, and crossing through the lot of them felt akin to swimming in a ball pit.

"Pateenie?"  Teacup whispered, her voice tinged with concern.  "Are we gonna turn into mushrooms?  Do you see the pacasmurf anywhere?"  She paused, a little worried frown spreading across her face at the sight of something over Patina's shoulder.

"I'm pretty sure the pacamorph doesn't exist."  they replied, slowly turning their head to follow her gaze.  "Rokuro's just trying to scare you again."

"Oh... that's not very nice..."  A soft and gentle voice came from the mushrooms to their right.  "Is that what the witchy paca is calling me?  Oh... that's very mean..."

Both of them whirled around, squeaking in surprise at the sight that was drifting towards them.  A pacapillar's head with a little nose and smiling mouth, itty bitty cheek nubs, and a feeler that looked suspiciously like an ear were all there but.... this face had no eyes to speak of!

Except it... did?  One opened up on the cluster of mushrooms where its other ear should have been, fluttering its long eyelashes while its pink and gold ringed iris peered at the newcomers questioningly.

"Hello,"  The paca's-head mushroom said softly.  "I have a name.... it’s Yumi."

Patina was too alarmed at the sight to move, but Teacup fearlessly wiggled forward to shake the dainty little paw it offered.  "Oh you're a friend?" She chirped enthusiastically, "I'm Teacup and this is Pateenie!  We're trying to get to that tent."

"The tent...?"  Yumi curiously shuffled closer to inspect them, bringing the rest of her body into view.  As it turned out, she wasn't just a paca-shaped mushroom but an entire pacapillar!  But her sweet face was devoid of eyes, with only a graceful marking where they should have been, and Patina could not help but find that incredibly unsettling.

Teacup, however, seemed absolutely unbothered and was happy to explain their situation.  "Yeah we're looking for scary monsters!  And Rokuro said there was a pacasmurf hiding somewhere in here.  Have you seen it?  We don't want to get grabbed and turned into mushrooms."

Yumi giggled.  "Teacup... Pateenie..."  A pair of eyes opened up on the side of her body, rolling around in their sockets as though surveying the space nearby.  A third opened up on the cluster of mushrooms that made up her tail, peeking eerily down at them.  "The tent is full of bad language and loud noise."  She said after a moment.  "Don't you want to stay here where it’s pretty and comfortable?  Being a mushroom is... nice."

Patina was growing more alarmed by the second, but Teacup shook her head.  "Oh no thank you.  I like being a pacapillar better."  She scrunched up her face "Plus, the cotton spores are making me sneeze."

Yumi's face kept its gentle smile but her mushrooms drooped slightly.  "Oh... that's too bad.  I think you'd make a pretty mushroom."  She sighed wistfully and shrugged.  "It was nice to meet you though.  Let me walk you to the tent if you really want to go there..."

Unaware of their discomfort, she wiggled her way between the two of them before Patina could protest.  The next thing both pacapillars knew, they were walking hand in hand with the strange mushroom paca, on their way across the field.

"I want to meet more pacas."  Yumi explained.  "And share my mushrooms with them.  The witchy paca said I'd get to meet lots of new friends tonight... so I was very excited.... it’s fun watching you struggle and trip over your nubs..."

The walk was shorter than expected with a pacapillar that knew how to navigate the space, and before long Yumi had deposited them at the mouth of the tent with a little smile.  She plucked a pink-capped mushroom from the assortment that surrounded her to press into Teacup's arms, giving it a fond little pat.

"A souvenir for you..." she trailed off, looking towards the tent.  "Feel free to come back if you change your mind... the mushrooms are always watching..." without any elaboration, Yumi shuffled backwards on her nubs, disappearing back into the sea of mushrooms that they had all just crossed.

"Wasn't she nice?"  Teacup beamed.  "I'm glad we ran into her and not the pacasmurf, huh Pateenie?"

---

The Halloween striped tent loomed before them, but Teacup's cheerful mood helped Patina to quickly shrug off the unsettling chill of the mushroom field.  They stepped into the yawning entrance and soon found themselves walking into the dark, with no sign of that electric blue light they'd glimpsed from outdoors.

The tent had been so quiet from the moment the two pacapillars had entered, that it was an enormous and upsetting surprise when a sound like microphone feedback and TV static boomed all about them.  Patina instinctively grabbed Teacup while the other paca covered her ears.

"WELCOME TO MY KINGDOM!!!!!!!"A loud voice shrieked with glee, distorted and electronic and buzzing with static.  "I DON'T NEED ROKURO TO INTRODUCE ME!!!!  I'M GONNA MAKE YOU SH**T!!!"

Teacup winced at the loud electronic cackling that followed, while Patina glared around grumpily.  After the genuine fear they'd felt meeting Yumi, whoever was hiding in here just seemed... excessive.  They caught sight of a smug looking Rokuro standing at the mouth of the tent, a couple of button mushrooms stuffed in her ears.

"He can introduce himself."  She called, waving a hand languidly for their mystery voice to continue.  Given her previous theatrics it seemed awfully suspicious...

Before Patina could complete that thought, the tent blazed into life with a crackle and a hiss.  In an instant the space lit up with harsh white light, rows upon rows of CRT screens illuminating the previously dark interior!  Images switched rapid fire between the screens, showing snowfields of TV static, vibrant but glitchy TV color bars, and a garish red screen where the simulation of a paca's face peered at them from every angle.

"FEAST YOUR EYES, N00BS!"  the digital voice howled.  "I'M FU***N OMNIPOTENT!  YOU THOUGHT THOSE LAST TWO ROOMS WERE SCARY, HOW'S IT FEEL DEALIN WITH A PACA WHO DOESN'T EVEN EXIST IN YOUR WORLD!  I'M A BEING OF PURE ENERGY BABY, GET ON MY LEVEL!!!  YOU AIN'T NEVER MET A PACAGEIST LIKE ME!!!"

The screens flashed as the face danced around the monitors, making Patina's head spin as the loud paca's voice crackled with jabs and obscenities.  For an instant they could feel Teacup tensing up at their side, but then in a blink she was gone!  It took Patina a moment to process what had happened, but the pacageist's frantic yelling cued them in.

"HEY!  HEYHEYHEY??? YOU'RE NOT MEANT TO RUN COME BACK HERE I'M NOT DONE WITH MY PERFORMANCE YET!!!"

And there she was, nearing the opposite side of the tent, bolting past the rows of screens like her life depended on it.  The flashing had calmed a little in the confusion of it all, allowing Patina to hurry after her, feeling extremely concerned about their partner's state of mind.

"OI, YOU CAN'T LEAVE EITHER!!!!"  the voice boomed after them.  "ROKURO PROMISED ME A SUPER RARE FIRST EDITION MY LITTLE SLIMEY TRADING CARD FOR A GOOD JOB TONIGHT!!!!  DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THOSE THINGS ARE WORTH????  COME BACK HERE AND LET ME SCARE YOU!!!  Ah s***t..."

Patina cleared the tent and found themself suddenly by the main festival road where the adventure had started.  They bumped into Teacup, who had ground to a halt in confusion at finding herself out in the moonlight again, away from the CRT glow.

"Teacup!"  They exclaimed, grabbing the other pacapillar and patting her all over to make sure she was unharmed.  "Are you ok?"

"Oh Pateenie!"  came the breathless reply, as though she was only beginning to get a sense of her surroundings again.  "Did I run all that way?  I didn't mean to but the tent was so colorful and dizzying and I couldn't understand what the paca on the TV was saying but it was so loud!  I had to get out of there because my ears hurt so much!"  She paused, blinking as Patina fluffed her cheek nubs.  "Is that what feeling frightened feels like?  I didn't even get a good look at the monster."  Her expression drooped at the realization.

"I think it was less being frightened and more... hit by sensory overload."  Patina chuckled ruefully.  "That tent was definitely a lot to take in."

"And it could have been even better if you'd stuck around!"  A crackly voice yelled from behind them, making both pacapillars jump.  Pushing its way out of the trees to come up behind them was one of the tent's CRT monitors, attached to a little grey body with black and red nubs, its long striped feelers and tail trailing behind it.  He seemed very put out by their response.  "I had SO MUCH cool stuff planned it would've made you s**t jellybeans."  

So this one was just another pacapillar too?  Where had Rokuro found all these bizarre characters?  

Teacup shuffled over to the disheartened paca, giving him a consoling pat on the shoulder.  "I don't think I've ever s**t a jellybean before but I think you did really well!"  She said encouragingly.  "There was so much noise and colors and um... noise!  My ears are making the same sound that your TVs did."

"That's just tinnitus."  The other paca sulked.  "You didn't even let me tell you my name!  It’s Malware and I'm a techno wizard.  Here's my business card."  He made a complex little gesture akin to a karate move, presenting them with a leaf that had nothing but a crude drawing of himself on it.  "Come back in and we'll do it over though, pleeease?  I'll turn the volume down and strobe the lights a lil less!!  You don't understand how much I need this slimey card ok, it’s in mint condition..."

But Teacup gently shook her head.  "Oh no thank you, once was enough for me.  But it was definitely a good experience!  I got sensory overload!"  She beamed at him.  "You did a very good job.  Plus, I'm sure there will be plenty more pacas visiting you tonight that you can give tinny-tis to as well!"

Malware sighed dramatically, turning to head back to his tent in the trees.  "Okaaaay, I guess there's no convincing you… but hey, do me a favor?  If Rokuro asks, tell her you'd give me a 10/10 fright experience and I definitely positively absolutely deserve that cool trading card."

"I will!"  Teacup promised.  "Goodbye Malware, have fun being a Pacageist and Happy Halloween!"

Standing off to the side, Patina couldn’t help a growing smile spread across their face at the exchange.  How could Teacup remain so adorable throughout it all?  As Malware vanished the way he had come, the other pacapillar hop-skipped over to their side, taking their hand in her own.

"That was such a great adventure Pateenie!"  Teacup squeaked, leaning up to give them a kiss on the nose.  "We didn't see any real monsters but it was nice meeting so many new friends.  Thank you for taking me to see them!"

Patina blushed, smiling back at her.  "Were you scared?"  They asked, the two of them beginning to wander back towards the main festival area.

"I don't think so."  Teacup replied thoughtfully.  "But... I am very hungry.  Can we get a candy apple to share?  Please?  I wanna sit and eat and watch the moon for a little bit after all of that!"

Patina felt their core flutter at the suggestion.  "An excellent idea."  They chirped, fishing into their shawl for a handful of leaflets.  "After such a wild Halloween adventure, a snack under the moon sounds absolutely divine."

~FIN