And I held him in my arms

And I held him in my arms.

Face nestled against fur. Hearts beating in time

that fragile, dangerous song

And I held him in my arms.

ever fearful, I squeezed.

And he settled, content, a smile pressed against my shoulder.

None the wiser to what

sinking thoughts,

were curdling in my skull.

And I felt the vibrations of his heart.

And I felt the air expand his chest.

And I felt the soft warmth bleed carelessly from his body into my own. Always too generous. Always too kind and to what end but the end of what we are. Until the breath leaves our lungs dry and the heat pumping our veins sputters and fails and stills, faces still of no expression no smile our joints stiff as broken twigs as one heart sings pitiful and alone without its other to answer it and

and I held him in my arms.

knowing one day I would not.