9:10 PM (Dae Lee x Tyler)

A simple text message was sent and off she went to go to the requested location for a late-night talk. It wasn’t like her to ever do this but a slow realization had surfaced to the forefront of her mind and she couldn’t get it off her mind. Or off her chest.

[Can you meet me by the café on 37^th street?] she messaged.

Seen. [Of course. Be there in 10.] His response.

She briskly made her way as she was already dressed in a cashmere sweater, paired with a chestnut skirt that only reached her knees. She barely made it before him, with about 5 minutes to spare, but was nonetheless breathless.

As she tugged on the handle to enter, the door rang with a cheerful bell.

“Welcome!” the cheerful staff greeted. “What can I get for you?”

“Just…. just a cappuccino. Vanilla, please,” she breathed heavily.

“Coming right up!” The greeter smiled, walking away to place the order as Dae Lee looked for a comfortable spot to sit in. She found herself drawn to the sidebar portion of the café, sitting on the seats that provided a view of the road outside. The ambiance of the café immediately made her feel cozy and warm, dimming her desperations much like the barely lit room.

Dae Lee unlocked her phone again, re-reading the text message conversation. It wasn’t until much later that another staff member had politely set down the drink next to her on a coaster. Dae thanked the employee, nodding as she breathed in the aroma of her order. Leaning in, she took a small sip of her drink, smiling to herself as it was perfect to her taste. Now if only she could get rid of the mind games and tricks she was playing with herself. Should she call it off, now that she was here? Anxiety began to set in. Maybe she wasn’t as ready as she thought she was. She was close to admitting what she thought was nothing.

As she stared outside the windowpane, the neon lights of the street right across from the building began to blur.

Peace…and quiet. Alone, until she would greet what she was hoping to see. Not what. *Who*. Who she was hoping to see. Wishing to see. *Wanting* to be with. She wrapped her hands around the steaming ceramic cup, slowly sinking down as her thoughts projected on her face. She was solemn, yet excited. Thrilled, but terrified as to why she would purposely bring them together like this. ‘No, not like *this*’, she thought to herself. But how come she couldn’t help it? Feeling more friendly than friends? Slightly feeling more affectionate than what companionship should allow. Her heart ached. Her mind was confused. Her body was tense with uneasiness. ‘I could just let him go. I could just let him let me go. But where else would I go?’.

Interrupting her thoughts, the door loudly rang with a cheerful bell. It was him.

He rushed through the doors, looking around the room for Dae Lee as she began to stand up off of her seat and politely wave him over. Giving him a shy smile, he gleamed as he saw her, lightly running over to the corner of the room.

“Dae!” he smiled crookedly.

“Tyler,” she breathed. “You…. you’re here fast. Sorry…to call you out so late.”

“It’s fine,” he reassured,” I’m used to being awake around this hour. It’s no big. But it’s usually reporting and stuff, so this is a much better reason to be out.”

“Welcome!” the same staff member from earlier called out. Dae Lee giggled as to how fast he ran in here. He didn’t even give a chance for the employees to give him their normal greeting.

“Oh hi!” he shouted back sheepishly.

“Can I get anything for you today?” the worker asked.

“Tea would be nice! Anything is fine,” he chirped.

“It’ll be right out!” the employee smiled, walking away.

He stood there and smiled happily, tucking one of his hands in his pockets as he slightly rocked back and forth. “You don’t normally do this so I thought something was up. You kinda had me a little scared there. Is something wrong?”

“Oh no, nothing’s wrong!” she squeaked. ‘At least, nothing wrong for now’. “Uhm…I already ordered since I got here a few minutes before you came….I hope you don’t mind.”

“No not at all! Did you wait long?” he asked.

“Oh no! Of course not….I just….didn’t want to be late,” she held her head slightly lower than before, looking at the collar of his shirt.

He gave a small laugh. “Yeah, me either.”

Silence fell between the two of them before another staff member returned with his tea in hand, Tyler politely accepting the drink as they both awkwardly sat down. He gave the top of the steaming cup a blow before taking a sip, nodding as he seemed to approve of whatever choice was made for him.

“So…what’s this about?” He asked cautiously.

She felt a nervous tingle begin to grow in her stomach and fingertips, her heart rate sporadically increasing. “I uhm….I just wanted to talk with you….uhm….I know it’s been pretty hectic lately…..and…..I just wanted to see if you were doing okay and everything?”

“For the most part, yeah. Everything’s alright. Why? Is something going on with you at work? Or school?”

“Uhm…..no not really. I mean exams will be coming up soon I guess but that’s not new.”

“Well, good luck!” he reassured her, giving her a confident smile. “I know you’ll do great though. You’re really smart.”

She blushed, staring down at her nails on her tightly clasped hands. “You’re just saying that,”

“No,” he said as he changed the tone of his voice. “I mean it. You’re really smart, Dae. You can do so many things in life because you’re so capable of doing it all. No pressure or anything, though!”

“No, I know,” she laughed. She turned to him, giving him an uncertain smile. “Thank you, though….Tyler…I appreciate you coming out.”

“That’s…..that’s what friends are for,”

A slight twinge in her heart quickly grew into what she knew to be disappointment. She held it together, if for no one else, for him, because that’s how she has to be. However, no matter how willing she was able to admit the worst to herself, there was no way she could actively admit it to Tyler. That would put them both in an awkward position. And at a disadvantage. Honest to God, she wished she had the courage to just say everything out loud and all at once.

“Hey, are you okay? Did I say som-“

“No!” she quickly interrupted, holding her hand up. “I’m…I’m fine. I guess I didn’t realize…. how late it was….”

His silence was disturbing as he looked at her with gentle concern. “Dae….I’m sorry if I said something wrong.”

She offered him a smile despite the pain still lingering. “No…you didn’t. I should’ve….Maybe I shouldn’t have called you out here tonight.”

“What?!” He gasped in shock. “Why not? I….I wasn’t busy. I had the time.”

“I know but-“

“No buts!” He lectured. “Whatever reason you called me out here for, even if it’s just quick chat, I accepted. I accepted the invitation because I *wanted* to. So, no more, ‘Mrs. Apologies’ tonight, alright?”

She gave a small giggle. “Alright,”

>> 

The rest of the night went on with them talking about various topics; where to go shopping next or where the coolest items could be found in the nearest antique stores, adapting to the current weather changes, jobs and bills they each had coming up, and even exchanging some good recipes for at-home coffees and teas.

“Dae, I think it’s our cue to go now,” Tyler hinted as the employees were starting to pull out cleaning supplies and turned on the brighter lights. “I think I should take you home.”

“I’m…I’m good,” she declined, desperately wanting to spread more time with him and continue their evening/ midnight chat. “I’m more than awake, so I’ll manage to be aware of my surroundings if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Well,” he sighed admittedly, picking up his coat off the seat as he began to stand. “I am worried about you. And it’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just- Look…I think it’d be safer if I took you all the way home. You always tell me no anyway and that’s been during the day. Make an exception for me this one time, pretty please?”

She widely smiled at his adorable pout face, pretending to reconsider her decision. “Nope! I’ll be fine.”

He gave an even louder, more obnoxious sigh. “Oh, come on, *please*!” He held out his hand to her to assist to her off of the high-standing chair, softening his expression into one of his intoxicatingly gentle crooked smiles. “Please?”

She almost felt herself cave in at that moment. “I….can’t,” she mumbled, taking his hand as she landed safely on her feet, nearly 5 inches away from him.

“Why not?” A long pause. Hesitation. Fingertips still lingering side by side. “There’s something…. you still haven’t told me, isn’t there?”

“I can’t, Tyler,” she replied. Her voice trembled in her throat as she looked to down to the ground.

“Dae….what is-“

“Sorry, customers! We’re closing for the day!” An employee shouted from the far side of the room.

“Hey, thanks!” Tyler responded with a bit of resentment in his voice. “Hey, let’s…. let’s just go outside for now.” He led her outside, firmly holding onto her as they passed through the entrance, the chiming of the bell echoing in her head as she stared at his back.

‘Keep it in. Hold it together. Pretend to be yourself’ she internally agonized. This wasn’t the first time she had followed him. Or had been led by him. Yet somehow, it always seemed to calm all of her senses, no matter how messy things inside her head got.

The colder night air began to hit them almost immediately as she slightly shivered, tightly grasping his hand in reflex. Noticing this, Tyler turned around, immediately wrapping his jacket around her shoulders. “Oh, here.”

“Tyler, wait- I don’t need this! I’m just gonna go home and-“

“Dae, just……take it.” Reluctantly, she felt his hand slowly untwine from hers. She watched as he stuffed them in his pockets, both of them taking a deep breath. “I’ll at least pay for your ride home.” He declared.

“I-“looking at his face, he wasn’t going to take another no for an answer. Respectfully, she nodded as he pulled out some cash from his wallet.

“This isn’t much, so don’t try to pay me back for it.”

“All you do is spoil me,” she laughed, accepting the change.

“It’s not like it’s hard,” he noted.

“Thanks….I think,” she grinned.

“Of course,” he said, a twinkle in his eye. “Now…. promise me this. Just this *one* thing. When you get home, let me know. Call me, text me, I don’t care. I have to head the other direction since I still need to get some stuff from the office. But will you at *least* do that for me?”

Dae Lee gleamed at him, holding onto the jacket she knows she would have to return on another day at another time. “Okay. I will.”

Tyler pulled out his cell phone from his pockets, flashing his lit phone screen in front of her face. “My phone’s ringer is on!”

“Okay! I got it!” she giggled. “Go!”

“Goodnight, Dae!”

“Goodnight, Tyler.”

She waved him off with a soft smile as he returned a crooked one, happily turning around every so often to make sure she was walking safely up the hill. Occasionally, she looked back as he called out to her for more orders of what she needed to do in order to stay safe and make sure she called him if anything happened, along with some tips to fight off strangers.

She watched him as he continued to wander off, the distance between them becoming more evident as it seemed like he made his last turn back to face her. The truth was, she had barely made it through during the conversations, all the while pushing her own state of mind and regret aside. It was almost an accident. Yet somehow, she fully intended to see him again on purpose. She fully intended on calling him as she had promised. But accidentally, not all at once but over time, she watched his mannerisms and listened to the way he spoke, and understood that he was beyond protective and generous.

Somehow, she accidentally began to love Tyler for all of who he is. Today was her first day noticing that a stronger feeling that ‘like’ began to cause her heartbeat to fluctuate or hide her face when he was near. Suddenly, she became very scared of the reality of what was going on. If she crushed on him, it didn’t mean he would ever feel the same way. She went so far as to call him out to the café to…confess…and determine within herself that she could accept this part of herself. Vulnerable. Naïve. Hopelessly taken in by his charms. Or maybe…maybe she should’ve asked him about his feelings. Between them. Or maybe she should’ve just told him.

But she wasn’t ready to face that fear yet. She wasn’t ready to expose herself to him with all her fears. But a part of her wanted to be ready. She swept away a stray tear, sniffling as more continued to fall.

Idiot.

Stupid.

Dummy. Dumb girl.

The pain began to overwhelm her and dig into her heart as the light drips of water began to pour like rain. Her emotions began to find themselves falling into the drain of her resolve, breaking piece by piece as she silently sobbed in her hands. Yet, for the past couple of days she had imagined herself as Dae Lee Juuls this entire time. And the only one who could comfort her in that thought was-

-Tyler.