STS RP | Reconciliation

[Shrikepaw]

The sun was low on the horizon already, the days seeming to get shorter and shorter as time went on. It colored the sky in vibrant hues that Shrikepaw had never seen quite so vividly before. Orange and pink streaks across the dimming blue made the rest of the world feel a little bit less cold. Still, it was definitely cold. Shrikepaw breathed out in a small nervous sigh, watching his breath whirl away with the faint breeze that scattered the top lair of dusty snow on the ground. His heart beat a bit faster than he was used to, thinking briefly about Carrotblaze and her absence. It left him feeling… well. Nervous. Everything was making him nervous. He hated how similar it felt to his days with his family, but he shook the thought free with a bit of a huff.

He stood to his paws. He couldn’t stand it anymore. The cold snow was beginning to numb his toes, and Shrikepaw felt determined for a moment. It didn’t quell his anxiety. Silently, the tom began to the fresh-kill pile, grabbing the magpie he’d caught earlier with a bit of a grimace. This would either help things or make them much, much worse. Shrikepaw felt his fur ripple just slightly along his spine. He moved to the edge of the camp, and after a couple of minutes of searching, he found Pumpkinpaw. Dread filled his chest, but he pushed himself past it, inhaling shakily, before approaching the she-cat.

The tom stopped once close enough, trying to think of what he was going to say. It had been… at least somewhat of an impulse decision to do this, really. He dropped the catch near the other and then looked up. 

Clearing his throat, Shrikepaw straightened. “Hey. I’m not gonna… make this long.” his tail flicked. “I’m sorry for overreacting. I have a tough time controlling my temper, and what you said hurt my feelings.” he felt himself flush a little at the admittance, looking away. He couldn’t make eye contact with the other anyways. “I should have just… explained that instead of being angry. I don’t want things to be bad between us. You’re…. you.. were… my first friend.” Shrikepaw exhaled, his whiskers trembling a little. “Anyways. I know you probably don’t want to hear it, but I caught this for…uh… you. That’s it.” he looked frazzled. “I’ll just-“ he awkwardly turned away, ready to leave it at that, heart beating loudly in his chest.

[Pumpkinpaw]

Pumpkinpaw plucks mindlessly at a bush, watching the already dying plant shed its last leaves for leaf-bare. She has nothing else to do. Clan life has been boring as of late, and she can't help but miss her times as a kit, free to do whatever she pleased. Free from responsibilities and stupid training. All she could do after training is ogle at the other dumb apprentices doing dumb things like 'making friends'. Maybe it's just better to stay alone.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of pawsteps behind her, to which she responds by narrowing her eyes and turning her head. A magpie comes into vision, and Pumpkinpaw's eyes widen slightly, her pupils rising to unexpectedly see Shrikepaw before her. She doesn't respond when he speaks, even afterward, picking at the bird's feathers anxiously. When he turns away though, she sighs. "I... Yeah. You're forgiven."

After a long pause, she hesitantly stands up, a light powder of snow sticking to her fur. "I'm sorry too... for the stupid joke. I was just trying to be funny, and... I guess I wasn't." With a frown, Pumpkinpaw stares down at the magpie in front of her paws. "Maggie and I joked around like that a lot. She didn't mind it, so neither did I, and we only had each other. No one else is like her, I guess."

[Shrikepaw]

Shrikepaw hesitated as the other mumbled her forgiveness, debating on simply continuing walking and leaving it at that. He stopped when Pumpkinpaw continued, ears flattening momentarily. He stared at his paws for a few quiet moments, before glancing over his shoulder to the other, watching his heavy exhales drift into the sky above them. He wasn’t sure what to say at first, tail curling a little. With a bit of caution, he nodded. 

“I… won’t lie to you and say I found it very funny,” he admitted. “But I’m sure you could’ve guessed that.” Shrikepaw struggled with himself for a few moments, debating how much to even say. He felt uncomfortable, but quietly he hoped it would be like taking a thorn out.  “I just-“ the tom sighed. “I’m worried about… uh… Carrotblaze. As is. She’s going through a lot right now and I guess it's just… affecting me more than I thought. When you said that it really freaked me out. I know you didn’t mean it like… that.” Shrikepaw scraped at the ground with his claws, finding the frozen dirt under the snow. He glanced away again. 

Shrikepaw considered his next words carefully. Or at least, as carefully as he could manage. “Listen uh..” he frowned, before turning back around enough to see Pumpkinpaw. “I know you and Maggie were really close. And- well, I’m definitely… not her. Obviously.” Shrikepaw studied his paws like they were the most interesting thing ever. “I just- I..” he shook his pelt. “If you want to talk about her, I’ll listen. I know I haven’t been very receptive to that in the past, but if… if you need a- someone or something to just… make it easier…” he felt hot with embarrassment. Why was it so hard to talk? “I miss my family too. And it feels.. lonely not being able to express that sometimes, especially with all the cats who do have their families. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want but just-“ he exhaled sharply. “Yeah. Ahem. Probably made things awkward.” Shrikepaw frowned. “Sorry.”

[Pumpkinpaw]

Pumpkinpaw’s face contorts into a grimace, thinking briefly of the Hareshade family. It always made her uncomfortable to see them interacting with each other, but she never understood why. Suddenly she tenses up. “I don’t want to talk about it… about Maggie. I’ve said all I could say about her. I don’t know whether to move on or leave to look for her or-“ She exhales. “Ever since the clan moved, I’ve been more and more worried. If you think finding her was impossible then, now we’re in a completely different territory FAR from where I lived.”

Pumpkinpaw finally rests her gaze on Shrikepaw, but instead of anger in her eyes, she had unsureness. Gradually she picks one of the magpie feathers off, tucking it in her chest fur before picking up the magpie and bringing it closer to Shrikepaw. “Share?”

[Shrikepaw]

Shrikepaw nods solemnly. His ears felt hot. “You don’t have to say anything. It’s just.. if you ever wanted to.” he meowed, voice quiet. “I didn’t realize we’d be… leaving. I guess we came here at a weird time…” his tail curled and uncurled a few times before he glanced up to look at Pumpkinpaw directly. The light was getting lower in the sky, and the colorful clouds were beginning to lose a bit of their vibrant light, turning a muted violet that Shrikepaw didn’t even know the sky was capable of. “If you want to leave, I don’t want you to do it alone. If you want to find Maggie…” he trailed off, frown deepening a little. He sighed.

At the she-cat’s offer, Shrikepaw looked surprised. He hesitated. “You sure? I got it for you,” he explained, sounding meek. He felt a clench in his stomach, but he wasn’t sure if it was from anxiety or hunger. Regardless, the tom sat down opposite to Pumpkin, watching her pick feathers free. He glanced away. 

“Reminds me of when we ate that rabbit you caught.” Shrikepaw huffed, sounding vaguely amused. “I still don’t know how you did that. It was the size of you twice over..”

[Pumpkinpaw]

"No, no-" Pumpkinpaw mumbles, shutting her eyes solemnly. "I mean, you -wanted- to be a part of a clan. Now you're here, doing your own thing. I'm not gonna take you away from that. Maybe one day I can move on from this place and go looking for my family again." One by one, feathers fall to the snowy earth, and soon the magpie is completely plucked.

Ignoring their previous conversation, she emits a sudden, squeaky chuckle. "I can still remember the look on your face. You were like 'Jeez, she's so strong and cool! I can never be as cool as her'." Nudging the naked magpie closer to Shrikepaw, she raises a brow. "Now hurry up and eat before I change my mind."

[Shrikepaw]

Shrikepaw fidgeted a little, brows furrowing. He exhaled quietly. He struggled with what to say for a few moments. “I would be sad if you left,” he admitted, before settling down properly. He left it at that, instead smiling faintly at Pumpkinpaw’s sudden change in demeanor, tucking his paws under his chest. The snow was annoyingly cold under him, but he didn’t pay it much mind. 

“Riiiight. You read my mind at that moment.” he mrrowed, leaning down to take a small bite. The bird was more gamey than usual, stringy muscles and sinew that seemed to come with most the prey in leaf-bare. But it was still good. “I will say, it was pretty impressive though. Carrotblaze was surprised when I said I’d caught mice and shrews before. I don’t think she would have believed me if I had told her what you did.”  Shrikepaw appraised, whiskers twitching. “When you put your mind to it, you’re a pretty fantastic hunter.” he studied the other, before nudging the bird closer to her so she could eat a bit. In the meantime, Shrikepaw began cleaning his face.  

“Maybe someday you can show me what you did. Y’know as a test. To see if it really was just blind luck.” A teasing mirth followed his words. A chilling wind rattled the branches near the two.

[Pumpkinpaw]

Quickly she bends over to take a bite of the magpie, unable to watch Shrikepaw eat on his own for more than a minute. "Why hunt when I can just eat outta the pile?" Pumpkinpaw says through a full mouth. Her chest puffs out at the compliment, grinning proudly as she picks at her teeth with a claw. "If you told her that, she'd probably want to trade apprentices with Stinkbugbounce." Clearing her throat, she follows up with a: "Just kidding. I mean, you guys seem pretty close... I can tell she likes you a whole lot."

Pumpkinpaw, although starving, holds herself back from eating any more. She keeps her paws firmly planted in the snow that gathered, digits sinking in the bitter coldness. "Hey... why don't you ever talk about your family? You said you had siblings. You never talk about that."

[Shrikepaw]

Shrikepaw scoffed lightly at her words, shaking his head. “Don’t let a warrior hear you say that.” he chuckled. “Especially Silver. She’d have your pelt I bet.” the tom watched contentedly as Pumpkinpaw ate, licking his paws and drawing it over his head in a repeated motion. There was a small moment of hesitation at Pumpkinpaw’s words, and Shrikepaw’s heart sank a little, but he didn’t express it. “Mmh… I don’t know if close is the right word.” he gave a shrug, trying to appear unbothered. “She didn’t… go training with me for the last couple of days.” Silently, he was chastising himself for his stupid incompetent display from the other day. He’d never let his emotions get the better of him like that again. Not if it drove cats away as it seemed to.

Shrikepaw snapped himself out of his thoughts, deciding to ignore that part of his turmoil for now. Instead, he was met with a different one. The question felt a bit like a slap to the face, but somehow Shrikepaw expected it. He looked sullen for a moment. “It… it’s-“ he exhaled, dropping his paw back down from his head. “It’s complicated.” he sighed out. “I had a fine life. But my relationship with my family is-” his tail tightened around his frame. “Confusing.” He couldn’t meet Pumpkinpaw’s eyes. 

“I had siblings though. Grouse and Starling.” Shrikepaw’s voice tightened a little. “I don’t think they’d like to see me though, so it doesn’t matter.” Shrikepaw began cleaning himself again, discomfort pricking at his chest.

[Pumpkinpaw]

Pumpkinpaw rolls her blue eyes. "Silver can kiss my..." she pauses, glancing over to the center of camp. Cats are beginning to retire, and although a few stragglers talked and sat around, she didn't really mind. What's Silver gonna do anyway? "Uh, you know. Anyway, I'm a perfectly good member of this clan, which means I deserve to participate in their snack piles."

At the talk of Shrikepaw's family, the she-cat listens intently, absentmindedly leaning in curiously. "So... are you gonna tell me more?" she questions. "...or you don't have to. You're really secretive though, and that makes you look like a weirdo. Not a mean weirdo, but a creepy weirdo. You didn't murder your entire family, right? That'd be messed up."

[Shrikepaw]

Shrikepaw looked back up at Pumpkinpaw with a bit of a confused expression. He felt a defensive squeeze in his chest, but he quickly forced it down, reminding himself whose company he was in. He shook his head. “Of course I didn’t. As I said, my life was… it was fine. No tragic backstory.” he shuffled his paws on the ground a little, pushing some snow to the side to reveal the ground there. Any grass underneath was dried and yellow. 

Shrikepaw flicked his tail. “Do I actually seem weird?” he asked, voice low. Maybe that was why he couldn’t make friends easily. The tabby grunted, and shook his head, before meeting Pumpkinpaw’s gaze again. “I mean… what do you want to know? I had a mother and a father. I lived with most of my aunts and uncles and their kits. My grandparents were clan cats once.” his claws picked at the grass he uncovered, feeling the strands snap with a bit of pressure. 

His eyes never seemed to stay on one place long. “I don’t think my relationship with my siblings was nearly as good as your relationship with Maggie. Grouse and I fought a lot. Things… were hard with him. And I guess by proxy, hard with Starling too.” Shrikepaw looked uncomfortable, turning to look away and focus on the branches of the bush instead. “I don’t know. It’s nothing special. I had a boring life.” he grimaced. “I’m sure things were more interesting with you and Maggie.”

[Pumpkinpaw]

At Shrikepaw's question, Pumpkinpaw awkwardly removes her gaze from him. "Ah, well-" she grumbles, the tips of her ears getting hotter. "Stop taking everything I say so seriously! Sheesh. No, you're not -completely- weird." She seems unsure of Shrikepaw's genuineness in terms of his past, prying him a little with her eyes once she grows enough confidence. Rather than interrogating him, she stays silent, following where the tom looked.

"Well... I think Maggie and I had a normal relationship. I don't have anything else to compare it to, other than my parents. They were all I knew." She pauses. "But if you're looking for a not normal life, I guess this is the place to start anew. On a serious note, I don't really see you interacting with anyone other than Carrotblaze. What's up with that?"

Suddenly, the she-cat grows a wide smirk, pondering over something. "So, you know..." she begins. "I think someone has a crush on you. I -know- someone has a crush on you. You should ask them out!"

[Shrikepaw]

Shrikepaw frowned a little at Pumpkinpaw, feeling his face heat up a little. “I just- I don’t know. You know I’m not good with talking to other cats. Carrotblaze *has* to tolerate me because she’s my mentor.” he looked away again. “I thought maybe it’d be easier to talk to others but- blegh.” Shrikepaw slumped to the ground, his head on his paws now. “I don’t know how Redith does it… she could talk to any cat.” The tom’s ears flattened a little bit, before jumping a little at Pumpkinpaw’s next words.

“What?” he blinked, looking frazzled. “Who- no. No, you’re pulling my leg.” Shrikepaw narrowed his eyes scrutinizingly. “No cat has a crush on me. And I’m definitely asking no one out.” he wrinkled his nose at Pumpkinpaw, his cheeks feeling hot with embarrassment. “You said it yourself earlier, I have a weird nose. No one likes a cat with a weird nose.” Shrikepaw’s pelt looked a little ruffled, and he quickly began grooming himself again, obviously flustered at the idea.

[Pumpkinpaw]

Pumpkinpaw shivers slightly as a wave of cold air brushes past the two. She shoves away the grimace as Shrikepaw continues to speak, attempting to piece together her thoughts. "You don't have to talk to cats if you don't want to. I just thought-" she sighs. "Nevermind. Never take advice from me. It's not like I know what I'm doing around here either." 

She giggles at Shrikepaw's reaction to the 'revelation'. With a wistful and playful tone, she speaks. "Oookay, I guess you'll never know who that cat is. They'll forever be a mystery to you, and you'll never find your cat clan lover! As they ogle you from afar, eyes full of love and desire, their needs shall never be met..."

Pumpkinpaw playfully nudges the other apprentice's shoulder, though with their different weight distributions, she might've put a little too much force into it. "Yeah, you have a funny-looking nose, but I think it's cute and endearing. You'll get ALL the cats hooked on that hooked nose!"

[Shrikepaw]

Shrikepaw frowns at Pumpkinpaw, and sticks his tongue out at her, huffing quietly. “That’s awfully sad for them… humor me, who is it that is so in love with me that I haven’t noticed but you have?” he raised a brow at the other, looking amused. “If you can’t provide an answer I’ll just have to… assume you’re lying I guess.” he peeked at the other out the corner of his eye, watching her for a reaction. After a moment, Shrikepaw snorted and smiled a little. His tail thwapped Pumpkinpaw’s pelt. 

“Uh-huh. Endearing. Is that what they call it? What, do you have a crush on me?” he was nearly unrooted by Pumpkinpaw’s nudge, but Shrikepaw managed to right himself, before giving her a fairly weak nudge back in comparison. Stars, he really was skinny, wasn’t he? “Hooked on my hooked nose. Downright cruel.” He quickly touched it, on the small arch on his muzzle. “I’m appalled and appreciative of your faith in my looks, though.” Shrikepaw shot Pumpkinpaw a wink, before laughing to himself a little, trying to muffle it. It felt good to joke around a bit. Even if Pumpkinpaw’s idea of joking around was a little different.

[Pumpkinpaw]

Pumpkinpaw shakes her head, dramatically placing her paw against her forehead. “Oh well… no love for Shrikepaw!” she wails, obviously ignoring him, before bursting out in laughter. She falls over, wiggling in the snow in a cackling fit. Once she loses the energy, she glances up at Shrikepaw, her back against the freezing snow. 

“The closest thing to a crush you’ll get from me is me crushing you with my massive muscles,” she states, smirking. “That and I’m too hot for everyone here. I’m just SO desirable. No one can handle me; I’m independent.”

[Shrikepaw]

Shrikepaw had to try and muffle another snort, watching Pumpkinpaw writhe in misery in the snow, kicking it up and sending it flying around her. Shrikepaw tried to duck away from the onslaught of snow, getting to his paws and moving to peer down directly over Pumpkinpaw, expression playful. 

“I think that still counts as a crush.” he teased, scooping some snow from the ground and piling it on her face with a grin. “But I’ll remember to keep that in mind when the next cat asks if you’re single.” he’d lean in a little, a mischievous expression on his face. “Just remind them how you simply wouldn’t fall for any cat of… such standards.” he tipped his head, plopping another pawful of snow on her head.

[Pumpkinpaw]

With the piles of snow stacked on top of her face, Pumpkinpaw lets out a puff of air, the flakes of white launching upward. Her goal was to have it land on Shrikepaw, but who knows where the wind will take it. "You're gonna kill me with frostbite," she mumbles, struggling to get her footing on the ground. "You're acting like I'm a mean cat! Of course I won't tell them that I'm above their standards. I'll just pretend to be clueless."

Poofing out her fluffy chest, she gathers all the magpie feathers that she strung around the land, most of them half-buried in the snow by now. "I'm gonna put these in my nest," she says, turning to look at the tom. "and then I'm gonna sleep. It's cold and I'm freezing to death. You coming?"

[Shrikepaw]

Shrikepaw tried to duck away from the sudden burst of snow in his face but didn't manage in time. He grinned a little as he wiped away the snow, tail once again slapping Pumpkinpaw's pelt. "Oh, that's even more cruel." He snickered, wiping his cold face with his paw. "I guess as they say...ignorance is bliss." 

With that, he finally righted himself again and watched idly as Pumpkinpaw picked up the feathers. The sun was nearly gone by now, the sky growing darker, and taking most of the warmth of the day with it. Shrikepaw bit back a shudder. As Pumpkinpaw turned to him, he gave a faint smile again, nodding.

"It's too cold to do anything." He agreed, hopping a little on his paws to try and warm them back up. Shrikepaw nudged Pumpkinpaw on his way past, stealing a feather from her with an impish grin and beginning on to the apprentice's den.