I: Loss

Heyx had been planning the event for weeks, seeing to catering, upping security measures, and narrowing down the list of guests until everything was just right.  Saffra helped as much as she could, though Heyx assured her that he had everything taken care of.  Besides, she was in a delicate condition and didn’t need to stress herself about matters that were his to shoulder.  She wanted to tell him that she was only three months’ pregnant, not an invalid.  The baby had just started showing, which was exciting for both parents.  Unfortunately, it was around a busy time for Heyx, what with the passing of his father and his need to secure his position in the man’s business before rivals and people from within the organization moved in to try to push their way to power.  

    Saffa told herself that he would have time for her and their child once the dust settled and he was on top, the undisputed ruler of the family’s arms dealing business…that she wasn’t supposed to know about.  She had stumbled across that bit of information about her husband early on in their marriage, nearly a year ago now.  Saffra had chosen not to say anything and continue to play dumb out of a sense of self-preservation, and because Heyx had never mentioned it beforehand when they had been courting.  If he thought it was something best left as a secret, then it was probably in her own best interests if she acted like she didn’t know.

    It wasn’t that they didn’t trust each other.  It was just that…sometimes they needed to keep these little secrets.  When the time came, he would tell her, and she would react accordingly.

    She adjusted the straps on her dress as she regarded herself in the ceiling to floor mirror.  Heyx had gone all out, hiring a seamstress to design the glittering, soft-hued gown for her.  Gold jewelry clung to the sleeves and edges, making it look as if she had been dipped in a vat of it whenever she moved.  Her hands smoothed down her front, gliding slowly over the slight bulge of her stomach that was somewhat hidden by the high waistline of the dress.  Saffra would have preferred to keep the pregnancy between just her, Heyx, and the house staff and guards of his residency, but he had told her it would be better if people knew.  If they realized he already had an heir to the family business on the way, then it would give him more clout.  

People would fall into line.  It was the card up his sleeve that he hadn’t known he had until she had told him upon his return from his tour of his late father’s facilities.

    And Saffra was more than happy to be of some great value to him in that way.  She felt even more proud knowing she had surprised him, and gave him a solution to his problem of determining how he would prove himself the leader of his father’s empire.

    A soft smile formed on her lips as she rubbed her hand against the bump.  It would be a while yet until she would actually be feeling the child moving around inside of her, but just seeing how it was starting to grow faster now had her elated.  Heyx had had the staff start working on doing up a room for their child when she broke the news to him.  That was her domain, as he said she was the one best suited to give directions for that undertaking.  The child’s chambers was something of a skeleton mold now; they didn’t know if it would be a boy or a girl yet, so they kept it neutral until it was big enough for them to decide on a more permanent scheme.

A presence moved behind Saffra, gliding up and wrapping arms around her middle.  She smelled Heyx’s strong cologne wafting off of him, felt his lips alongside her neck and his hands fold over the ones she had on her stomach.

“You look gorgeous, Darling,” he murmured.

Saffra internally melted at her husband’s words and embrace.  

“You won’t be saying that when I start to look like an overfed hutt,” she retorted with a laugh.

Heyx pulled his head back so she could see his puckered brow as he shook his head.

“Nonsense.  You’re wearing motherhood rather well now.  The bigger the child, the healthier it will be”—he pressed his lips to her neck again, earning a shiver of delight from her—“And if anyone says anything tonight to upset you, I’ll make sure that they apologize profusely for their behavior.”

“You’re too good to me.”

“I try.”

    Saffra didn’t realize what was happening until she felt the cold metal around her neck, jangling down her collarbone.  When she turned her head to the mirror, she saw that Heyx had clasped a new necklace on her, one with pearlescent gems that reflected light every which way as she moved.  She smiled at the reflection, seeing the pleased look on his face at how happy she was over the gift.  A hand came up to rub at the gems, the small chains that made up the necklace.

    “This must have cost a fortune,” she breathed.

“A small one,” Heyx hummed, settling his hands on her shoulders. “But it was worth every credit.”

    Saffra felt herself blushing.  Heyx had a silver tongue that he used quite often, but he could also be incredibly tacky and predictable when he flirted with her.  She thought it was cute.

    “Our guests should be arriving by now,” he said, giving her shoulders a soft squeeze. “We should be down to greet them, and I can’t show up without you by my side.”

    A warm swelling of pride blossomed in Saffra’s chest.  It was good to feel important to her very rich, very powerful husband.

    “Very well.  We’ve spent enough time flirting with our reflections anyways.”

—

    The gala was just as flamboyant as Saffra expected it to be, and the guests were equally gaudy with their outfits, their jewelry, their topics they discussed.  Saffra was right there by her husband’s side to greet them after the majordomo announced them.  Some she recognized.  Most she didn’t.  All of them had at least one nice thing to say about the manor, their hosts, and the spread put out for them.  The women were quick to comment on Saffra’s condition, congratulating her and promising to discuss the best academies to send her child off to when it came of age, where to get the most adorable tailor-made clothes, and hoping she was already keeping an eye out for viable candidates for future spouses for the child.

    It was a lot to take in.  Saffra only had time to smile and nod before the next set of guests were shuffling the previous ones into the ballroom.  She didn’t want to think too far ahead yet.  She was content to consider the near future that consisted of chubby, flailing limbs and gibbering squeals of delight when she would finally be able to hold her and Heyx’s baby in her arms.

    Once all of the high tier guests had been greeted, Heyx took Saffra to the head table, helping her to sit down.  She looked at him quizzically when he didn’t take a seat.

    “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing,” Heyx said, all smiles on his pointed face as he leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. “I need to speak with some of our friends about a few things.  I won’t be long.”

    “All right,” Saffra replied, forcing the edges of her mouth up.

She had been hoping to spend some time with him before he was dragged away by guests to circulate around the massive room to discuss business dealings and stroke egos.  She supposed she could spare him for now.  It was his gala, after all.

    Heyx must have sent some people her way so she wasn’t alone, as a steady stream of guests came to sit at the large table to talk to her.  It was all mundane things, conversations that didn’t really matter, but enough to keep her mind off of what Heyx was up to.  As the room began to fill up even more, the noise of chatter increased from a hum to a dull roar.  Bodies swirled on the dance floor as expensive garments rippled in a sea of colors to the sound of the live orchestra.  Amid the noise and the caterers wending their way around the room with trays of horderves, Heyx brought an older Falleen man over to the table, introducing him as a friend of his father’s who would be helping him out.  The man said he had been promised a dance with “Heyx’s lovely wife,” and so Saffra obliged.

    The Falleen smelled like rich wine and something else that made her giddy as he treated her to a turn on the floor.  He kept uncomfortably close, whispering things in her ear that made her flush.  When he returned her to Heyx, he thanked him for allowing him to borrow his wife before snatching a fluted glass of wine from a tray and disappearing into the crowd.  Heyx eased Saffra to her seat, chuckling as he tucked a loose hair behind her ear.

    “I see he tried to charm you off your feet,” he murmured.

Saffra shook her head, confused, and still feeling dizzy.

    “What?”

“He used some pheromones on you.  I hope you didn’t let slip any secrets I’ve had you keep for me.”

    “You never tell me any secrets,” she said honestly, wishing she could suck the words back in right after she had said them.

    Heyx laughed, patting her shoulder.

“Not any he would find interesting at least.”

    And then he was gone again, leaving her to another blur of people she didn’t know who she had to entertain.  She was inclined to dance with several more men before the food was rolled out.  By that time, she was feeling lightheaded, a touch of nausea coming on.  Saffra picked at her food while Heyx dominated the conversation at their table with his close ring of friends.  Whatever the cooks had made must have been too rich for her, as she could feel the telltale signs of a stomach ache coming on.  

    She didn’t realize she was taking it so badly until Heyx was calling her name, an edge of worry to his tone.  When she opened her eyes, he was leaning in front of her, his hand covering the one she had on the table.  The other she had splayed on her belly where the pain was the worst.

    “Saffra?  Is everything all right?”

She pulled a smile, emitting a strained, husky laugh.

    “Oh, it’s nothing,” she said, trying to unlock her back that had gone rigid in her seat with a little shudder of the shoulders. “I think whatever the chef made was too much for me.”

    She looked around the table with an apologetic smile.

“I hope everyone won’t take it to heart if I leave the party a little early?”

    There was a general consensus of sympathetic noises, the women encouraging her to go on and rest.  Heyx helped her up from her seat, excusing the both of them as he said he would escort her to their rooms.  Guards stood at attention outside of the ballroom, several others pacing around the halls as Heyx took her to the bank of golden turbolifts.  As soon as they were inside one, the doors closed, he afforded her a wide grin.

    “Oh, that was a good move, Saf.”

Saffra had to close her eyes against the turbolift’s motion, leaning against Heyx.

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t be modest,” Heyx chuckled. “The “ill wife” angle.  It was perfect.  You’ve definitely earned the sympathies of everyone at that table, and as soon as word spreads around the ballroom, we should have a considerable amount of people fully invested in you and our child’s welfare.”

    Saffra didn’t want to burst his bubble and inform him that she really did feel ill.  If she allowed him to believe she was clever and helping him with maintaining a firm grip on his father’s enterprise, then he might actually feel obliged to discuss those matters with her.  So she straightened up with a inhale through her nose, turning a crafty smile up at him.

    “But of course,” she purred.

Heyx treated her to a long kiss that had her distracted enough so that she didn’t realize they were on their floor until he broke away.  

    “Now you rest,” he said, winking at her as a set of guards opened the doors to their chambers. “And I’ll let you know how well your ploy went first thing tomorrow morning.”

    Saffra kept the beguiling smile on her face until the guards shut the doors, then a grimace took over.  She felt like she was going to be sick as she made her stilted way to the refresher.  The pain was only growing sharper and longer.  Her shaking legs failed her a few feet into the tiled room.  She attempted to grab at something to try to keep from falling, knocking over a crystalline statue of a bathing figure.  Shards cut up her hands, blood starting to smear the marble.  There was more blood pooling than there should have been from where her palms had mussed into the crystal.  

    Saffra gasped, doubling over tears pricking the corners of her eyes.  

“No, no, no–”

It was too early.  She had been so careful!  What had she done wrong?  Another wave of pain hit as she pressed her forehead to the cool tile, fingers raking the floor and sticking more crystal bits into her flesh.  

Red surrounded her, staining the dress.  A small figure lay among the shards as she peeled the fabric back.  Saffra stared at the tiny being before she was scooping it up in her arms, lips trembling, hugging it closer to her chest.  A wail ripped out of her, growing louder and more shrill as she hunched over.

Thumping came from somewhere beyond, someone calling her name, dropping down beside her.  Heyx.  It sounded like Heyx.  He tried to get her to let go of the small, limp body but she wouldn’t let him, fighting back when he attempted to remove her hands from it.

He kept talking, low, his voice fighting to remain calm.  Saffra barely heard a word he was saying, she was sobbing so hard.  Someone else came into the room.  He tried to remove the child again and was met with a more hysterical retaliation.  Someone wrenched her head back; there was a pinch in her neck and blackness crept in around her vision.

—

    When Saffra awoke, she wasn’t lying on the floor of the refresher surrounded by her own blood.  Her senses felt dulled and sluggish as she tried to regain her bearings.  It took her a few minutes to recognize that someone was brushing a hand through her hair, another few minutes to realize her head was on a lap.  She was able to pick out the scent of Heyx’s cologne around her.

    “How are you feeling, Saf?” he asked, voice low.

Saffra had to think about that question.  Her mind whipped back to where she had been prior to their bed.  The sudden recollection of what had taken place was almost like a physical hit to the sternum.  She shakily curled in on herself with a shuddering gasp, vision blurring.

    “Shhh, shhh, shhh,” Heyx murmured, hugging her close to him. “It’s all right.”

It wasn’t all right.  She had lost their child.  She sent a hand to her stomach that had contained their son or daughter just hours ago.  There was nothing there to feel now.  Saffra squeezed her eyes shut, pressing her head into Heyx’s knee while her tears spilled out.

    “I’m just as upset as you are,” Heyx said, continuing to brush at her hair. “I’ve asked my physicians to look into this and see what went wrong.  No one else but the two of us and a few select people know what happened.  We can’t let anyone else know, Saf.  You’re such a strong woman, I know you’ll bounce back just fine…”

    Heyx’s voice trailed off when Saffra’s weeping drowned him out.  She wanted to scream.  She wanted to know what had happened to their child’s body.  She drew in a deep breath, her hand bunching up the silky sheets around her.  At least she knew Heyx would be there to comfort her.  She needed him now more than ever.  

    “Saffra.”

She turned her eyes up at him.  He had a datapad in one hand and was regarding it with raised brows.  His gaze diverted towards her.  She could tell he was trying to mask his excitement.

    “Darling, forgive me, but I have to leave.  I just received word from one of our guests–the Falleen you danced with.  He’s willing to negotiate a merger with my organization.  You made quite an impression on him last night–”

    Saffra could feel the tears welling up again.  Heyx’s brows pressed together as he stroked at her face.

“It will only be for a little while, Saf, I swear.  I’ll be back before you know it.  It’s such a critical time for us right now…I could lose all that we have if I don’t act on this, and…if we’re to try for another child, we want them to have a future, don’t we?”

    Saffra didn’t trust herself to speak, so she nodded her head, trying to push a wobbly smile on her lips.  Heyx looked relieved.  He bent down to kiss her on her forehead.

    “Thank you, Darling.  We’ll get through this together, I promise.”

“Okay,” Saffra croaked.

    She didn’t realize that Heyx’s business would take him away for just a little over a month.