If Only You Had Stayed Away

A sinner finds himself standing in front of another.

For many days, Yi Sang has had difficulty trying to get a hold of this man, but he is tired. And he's here.

Gripping onto his dagger, the former wing feather shoots ice at the one in front of him.

“Noboru Kuroda.”

The other sinner is caught off guard, seeing one not from his branch. He barely recognizes this one, and only feels a sense of familiarity in their shared uniform. He looks him up and down inquisitively, almost innocently. To Yi Sang, the gesture was sickening.

"I.." He starts, his voice sheepish.

"I-I'm sorry... Have we met?" He stammers, instinctively holding himself.

He can feel the cold gaze on him. It's heavy. It's angry. There is malice.

"D-did I do... something?" He continues to stammer, changing his body language to make himself look smaller. He stumbles back, or makes the act of doing such, with caution. There is a growing panic inside him, his instinct yelling at him.

Yi Sang could easily see that the sinner was lowering his arms, loosening his grip on himself. He was going to do two things: Run, or draw his weapon.

“We have not.” Replied the older one. It watches every single move he makes. It did not come to this person to harm him, but…

He’s been watching Sinclair far too long, far too many times for this to be a motive with good intentions.

Noboru is searching in the deepest reaches of his mind. Who was this man? Had he crossed him once before? He may say they have not met, but it’s easy for someone (let alone a stranger) to simply lie. The sinner halts his movements in an attempt to steady himself and not give in to panic. Stay calm and watch how he moves. He recalls in his mind. The panic setting into his body and alerting his brain doesn’t help at all. Noboru can’t stay calm, not when being confronted for something he isn’t sure he did.

Could the man hear his shaky breathing? Could he see him trembling? Surely it wouldn’t attack him, right? Not when he has no intention to fight back— yet, at least.

Still trembling from his growing panic towards the unfamiliar sinner, Noboru makes a small attempt to straighten himself out. The uniform means this person could possess skill that he could not outmatch, and the least he could do was to try and level with him.

“P-please…” He stammers worriedly. “I don’t mean any harm— Wh-What do you want from me?”

His hands are trembling. He begins to break a cold sweat. There is a bubbling terror and irritation beneath his panic. Why does that sinner simply stand there wordlessly, looking at him like a spectacle? What did it get from bothering him?

Yi Sang could see his movement. He is erratic, and holding himself back. Back from what? It clenches his dagger tighter. Either he moves first, or Noboru does.

“I want you to keep your eyes off of him.” Is what it replies.

Panic wasn’t exactly the kind of emotion it believed this man would feel when meeting up after a short amount of time. Though, observing him long enough, he knows there’s another reason for this. It wasn’t because Yi Sang was just standing there, was it?

His head turns.

Sinclair chats with someone else from afar. Who ci talks to does not matter. This man, this sinner, had been watching. Oh, it does not like that at all.

“My eyes off him…? I— I’m sorry, but—” Noboru takes a moment to peer at what Yi Sang had glanced at. Were they being watched— no. They were alone. It was quiet where they stood. In the distance, he could faintly make out the silhouette of Sinclair, with the little mop of blonde hair on his head. Emil. He softens for a moment, seeing as the blonde’s attention was taken by others who wanted to converse with him. He lets out a small hum.

He is glad ci isn’t watching.

The gesture he had done did not sit well with Yi Sang. He looked again, eyes trained on Emil. He really is watching, isn’t he? However; Noboru does not meet the glare until moments later, only remembering its presence. Upon meeting Yi Sang’s glare did it click to him.

Was it talking about Emil?

Noboru straightens up, then takes a few steps back. His brows furrowed, displaying confusion. The man in front of him weighing him down with a heavy gaze. Noboru brings his arms up to lightly hold himself again. “It’s Emil, isn’t it—” He starts. Yi Sang could see the younger’s face scrunch up into a scowl. “Is… Is that how you treat everyone who speaks to him?” There is a tinge of aggression replacing the confusion. Who was this man to confront him? “He’s… He’s a friend.” Noboru continues, his hands gripping on his arms tighter. “He is… a friend.” He repeats. The sinner before him could see the way the cloth of his sleeves strain under the tips of his manicured nails. He observes Noboru closely: his attitude was starting to shift into something more hostile.

“What’s so wrong about me looking at him?” Noboru’s voice faltered ever so slightly.

Noboru could hear his mind racing, jumping to the silly conclusions that this sinner before him had ill intentions. To separate him from a friend? To stop looking at him?

He had no idea of the implication of his actions. He was crossing a line.

It's thought about this long and hard. No, Yi Sang would never try to stop somebody from trying to be Emil's friend. Of course its beloved deserved to have formed some friendships in life, in spite of what was going on with their job. Hy deserved so much more, in general. Hy means everything to Yi Sang.

But this was different. Very, very different.

This was not a case of wanting to just be friends. If it was, he wouldn’t look at cir in such a way.

Maybe the wing feather took too many adalines again to be properly thinking about whether this was a good idea or not. To confront someone with so many warnings…

"I know little about you, but I read your profile. And I understand what you have been trying to do."

The grip on the dagger grows tighter. His stare becomes colder. He understands enough.

Noboru’s eyes narrow. “What I’ve been trying to do?” He parrots Yi Sang’s words. There is a sinking understanding that settles in him. He pauses, his face scrunching up in anger. “I’ve never hurt him!” He says, the volume of his voice increasing, cracking ever so slightly at the end. This is unbelievable. Inconceivable! What harm did this man even mean!? His breath becomes shaky again, emotions welling up in him. His body screams that this sinner is bad news. He’s come to separate him from Emil— his friend… maybe even beloved? Just, someone he holds dear—

“Emil.” He says shakily, arms gripping hard on the cloth of his sleeves. “I would never do anything to hurt him.” His voice cracking and pathetic, defending himself against Yi Sang’s accusations. “If you knew. If you saw, you’d know I’m trying to help him!”

The look in Noboru’s eyes is frantic, almost manic from his racing thoughts. Why? Why did this sinner before him want to take Emil away from him? Why did he stand between them? What did he ever know about his good intentions towards Emil?

Yi Sang could see in Noboru’s eyes that he was beginning to get under his skin. He pondered in his silent anger whether or not he was right to provoke him in such a way. It seemed that their perspectives were different, but that does not change the fact that this Noboru intends a great malice upon its beloved.

To Yi Sang, Sinclair deserved better. Help him? He’s enabling him to become something terrible. Horrific. Could it just stand there and watch its beloved degrade into something inhuman? No. He is close to drawing his knife. It’s only a matter of time before Noboru lays his hands on his weapons as well.

It observes the trembling sinner before him. Any moment now.

Any.

Moment.

Only then did Noboru glance at its hand trained on its dagger. Immediately, he let himself go; letting his arms fall to their sides. Was there really no reasoning with this man? His breathing steadies, or at least there is an attempt to. He takes deep breaths, eyes travelling to Yi Sang’s own from his dagger. He curls his fingers, still not taking hold of his own knives.

Yi Sang could see the rise and fall of his shoulders, the sinner in front of him breathing deeply. There was a look in his eyes: a sick resolve. He watches his movement, looking as he holds himself back from taking hold of his weapons and drawing them. Was there still some reservation? No. If he had so many warnings in his file, there was a calculation to his inaction.

He prepared himself for any sudden movement, and moved accordingly when Yi Sang, quite literally, charged and tackled him, attempting to stab with a dagger that one cannot even call the sharpest.

How could it have gone so far as to try and kill someone whom it knows is highly dangerous compared to his other coworkers, who were all so flashy? Why was it so angry, so full of rage over this sheer obsessiveness this stranger had in him?

Slamming Noburu into the ground, it collects its thoughts.

Of course. It was its duty to make sure Emil was safe from anyone who even thinks they can control hym. There was one person, many years ago, whom the blonde had looked up to for so long. That man took advantage of hym, destroying hys heart. And to this day, Yi Sang is still trying to mend it.

It saw the same look this sinner had in Demian's eyes, and swore to the heavens never to let this happen, ever again.

Yi Sang allows himself to be vulnerable as he ruthlessly tears through flesh. A low growl comes out of its mouth. Regret starts to take over him, but it’s drowned out by a blinding wrath.

He’s never done this. He should have never done this.

Noboru is stunned for a moment, feeling the blade dig into his skin. His eyes are wide open, feeling the sharp pain of his flesh breaking, a foreign metal tearing through his clothes and his skin. He could only inhale, the shock rendering him unable to scream.

He wordlessly gags as he looks up to the older sinner with wide, bewildered eyes. He watches the rise and fall of the dagger, feeling it pierce and tear through his flesh. The pain is searing as his body trembles and screams; yet his mouth utters no sound.

In Yi Sang’s moment of hesitation, it was almost as if Noboru was admiring the way his own blood smeared the pale skin. Yet another wave of sharp pain clicked something in his brain. Look at what it did to you. Listening to his own thoughts, he looks at the blood soaked clothes. His blood.

His.

His own.

Blood.

Like a cornered animal, Noboru’s sense of mortality returns to him. In moments, he is filled with a visceral fear of being killed in this helpless state. His mind wakes up once again, synapses flaring and his mind quickly scrambling to alert itself. He quickly reaches down to his holster and with one fluid motion, cuts through Yi Sang’s coat to take a slice at his side.

It was almost automatic how Noboru sat up through the searing pain to flip the sinner on his back, adrenaline sinking in and numbing the pain of his wounds. He takes a few erratic slashes at Yi Sang, eyes wide and frenzied. Hungry, desperate, feral, animatistic. It was almost inhuman. He scrambled onto his feet, taking advantage of the other’s moment of inaction. He takes out his other knife, beginning to frantically cut and slice at the man in front of him.

Noboru is as he always was in bloodshed. Shaky breaths. Shaky hands. Desperately attempting to calm himself to cut deep. He was not prepared for this. Yet, a rage fills him. Who was this man that dares accuse him of harming Emil? His beloved Emil!? It was unthinkable, how someone he never knew could say such vile things?

In his frenzy, blood splatters from each cut he made to the man who fought back and dug the blade into his skin, he exclaims “Everything I do for him—” He is cut off as he cries out, Yi Sang digging the dagger into his side, struggling to breathe just like he was. Noboru takes a few stabs in retaliation, his own knives digging deep into Yi Sang’s body, causing the man to grunt in pain, but still refusing to let go.

He hears the metal sinks into the flesh, gritting his teeth in pulling it out and stabbing again, erratically, frantically, wildly.

“Everything I do for him— It’s because of my love for him.” He growls. “He’s so scared— helpless.” He takes another stab, beginning to taste blood in his teeth. “I know the fear in his eyes.” He growls lowly through grit teeth.

No, you don’t. The other thinks. No, Emil wasn’t helpless. It knows that ci was simply afraid of the world for what it is, and that was different from helplessness. Maybe it correlated, but the young sinner was not the needy, innocent person that many, many people believed hy was.

Yi Sang can see the frenzy in his eyes. This man knows exactly what he’s saying. He knows exactly what he’s doing. Despite the look, the mind was clear. Humans, at their lowest and most desperate moments, do end up spilling the truth, after all.

And yet Yi Sang could see that this is the truth Noboru believes.

Love?

It’s sickening.

Noboru pushes forward, using the momentum to push his weight against Yi Sang in an attempt to pin him down. There was no more mercy in him. He wanted to tear it to shreds, to rip and tear at the frail flesh until there is nothing left. Blood stains his grit teeth and falls down his lips as he coughs up the blood from the wounds Yi Sang inflicted on him. Hands still on his own daggers, the Rakuyo, he pulls away from the other ever so slightly to lunge back at him, stabbing him in the stomach with both of them.

“You will never understand the look in his eyes. The innocence and the murderous gaze.” He starts, teeth grit and eyes wide. “You will never understand the hesitation, the second guessing, the sense of mortality, the crippling fear—” He takes a moment to sharply breathe, and the older one can’t help but retaliate, in its mind, that this was not correct at all.

What sinner wasn’t like the young blonde at some point? There was no point trying to argue that no one was like hym at some point in life. Otherwise you would be considered insane.

It was pointless. This was pointless. And yet, they’re still fighting, because they were not hym. They will never be hym. And they will never, ever, be as “innocent” as Emil is considered to be, especially not after this.

“You don’t know me—”

“I LIVED THAT FEAR!” Noboru cuts it off, attempting to push the older sinner onto the pavement as he uses his body weight to sink his blades even deeper into Yi Sang’s flesh.

Yi Sang’s body begins to stumble, leaving the dagger lodged deep in the side of Noboru’s ribs and he grabs the other’s shoulders to steady himself.

BANG!

A loud sound, not unlike that of a gunshot, rings in Yi Sang's ears. His grip on Noburu's shoulders loosens from the sound, and his body is taken aback ever so slightly. Blood spills from many areas of its body as it tries to regain itself. Was there still a point to all this…?

Ah.

He recognizes that noise. It only heard it once, during a heavy mission where a certain artist spiraled out of control. Nobody ever wanted to hear it again, lest they end up in her shoes.

For him to witness the kill switch for the second time in his thirty-six years of living--well, surely it must have seriously fucked up somewhere. One could only wonder where.

Noboru falls to his knees and hits the ground with a loud thud, and the older one exhales a shaky breath, eyes widening in horror. Trying to hold whatever surface was still willing to accept it after merciless bloodshed, he tries to reflect on their short conversation.

There was nothing that could come up in his mind that felt right, not even the fact that it wanted to restrain the other in the first place.

This was far from what anyone could call a victory. Every single part of its mind tells it to run, run away from the scene. Its legs are too tired. Its body is too injured. It didn't want his life to end like this. Not now. Someone could be watching–No, someone was watching. Why else would they have pressed the button?

It knows it couldn’t have been the manager of their branch. His own manager was too far from the scene, and knowing them, they would’ve pulled it away from further madness instead of resorting to the kill switch. In a sense it could be that the executive of LC-L-12 was simply a little more merciless than Dante could’ve been…but knowing the sudden death of his opponent, right here, it knew it wasn’t them. It knew it was next.

He understood what was coming. What would Emil think if he saw this right now?

...

Ci would surely throw up.

As Yi Sang stood over Noboru, he closed his eyes, embracing death as the sound of the switch blares again. His body shuts down, but unlike the sailor, he fell just a little softer.

Respective colleagues come up to their managers, with the same report in mind.

The bodies of two sinners have been found. Each with a number of wounds.

One is a man who failed to spread his wings.

One is a sailor who fell from grace with the sea.