Little Old Lady

"You want us to what?"

Clementine sat at the table in the twins' place, neither of them had actually let him IN but they weren't going to kick him out either. Not yet, at least. The man doesn't just throw himself into a social situation, he's usually dragged into it, so the fact that he was just at their table suddenly was probably worth seeing through. So both of them were standing there staring at him.

He sighed a bit, "I need someone to come with me to visit my baba, um..my grandmother. She wants to meet my friends? But I can't bring Passion or Diablo because..." He shrugged, "I can't. I don't really want to explain, so I'm asking you two first. If you say no I'll have to ask one of them instead, so please say yes?"

Wisteria and Foxglove looked at each other before grinning. Wisteria looked back at Clem, "So wait, not even Passion has met your grandma? And you're intentionally avoiding having the two meet? Are we your favorites now, huh? Will you-"

Foxglove covered her mouth, "You're gonna make him change his mind. We'd love to come with, Clem. Now...get out of our house before I kick your ass for breaking in!" That had Clementine scrambling out of the chair quickly, nodding and thanking the two frantically as he rushed out. It didn't matter that he could've probably very easily taken either of them on, just the threat was enough to even avoid having to try. What an enigma.

~~~

Clementine was waiting near the car, dressed...okay. The man looked exactly like he was preparing to spend time with his grandmother. He had a pink sweater vest over his white dress shirt, nice black slacks. Even his mask was a neat, pink cloth mask, with no silly or spooky things on it. His hair was the only thing that was still a complete mess. He seemed to be staring off into the distance before quickly snapping his head to look down at Foxglove before they could even reach to touch his arm.

"Hey."

Foxglove dropped their arm, "Ready to go?"

"You look like you're going to church," Wisteria laughed.

"Right..." He nodded a bit, "Ready. I have one thing to ask though. Don't tell her anything about our actual job, especially not mine. She thinks I'm just a bodyguard, so...I don't know. Pretend we're part of a security company?"

"That is the complete opposite of our jobs," Wisteria laughed as she got in the car, "We trick security companies all the time!"

"Think about it like this," Clementine climbed into the backseat of the car, waiting for Foxglove to get in as well before he continued, "If you tell my baba that I kill people for money, I will hurt you. I don't care if we're friends or if Passion will break my hand, I just...don't want my family to be in danger for knowing things. So, promise?"

The twins looked at each other uncomfortably before turning to look back at him and nodding. "We promise."

~~~

The trio walked through the park, Clementine leading the way, it was actually a very nice day out. Apparently, they were going to be having a picnic. Apparently...this was a thing that Clementine enjoyed doing sometimes, which was a weird concept. He waved as a little old lady sitting at a table came in to view and she waved back. She got up as they got closer and made her way to meet them in the middle. The twins thought they were short, but this lady had to be only five feet tall.

Clementine had to hunch over a lot to hug her, laughing as she scooped up his face and spoke, "Привет зайка!"

He patted her hands as they squished his face, "Привет, баба, как дела?"

"Вы уже знаете, как обстоят дела в семье!" She laughed and looked over at the twins, "You must be Camille's friends from work, yes? I hope my little bunny isn't too much trouble for you two. I'm Anna, but you can just call me grandma."

"Baba..." He whined as he stood up, popping his back a bit.

Foxglove laughed a bit and waved their hand, "If anything, I think we cause him more trouble than anything. Let's go sit though, wouldn't want to tire you out before we even eat."

Anna huffed and little punched Clem's side, "Oh, bunny! What did you go and tell these two? I may be old, but I can handle standing around for a while." She laughed, "Come, come, though. If anyone here will need to sit down, it's my dear grandson." She led them to the table all the while Clem had his head in his hands.

Wisteria jabbed him in the side with her elbow and whispered, "Your grandma is a literal little old Russian lady. I didn't even know you could speak Russian."

"I'm rusty, but Passion doesn't know either. She doesn't even know my name's Camille." He rubbed his side.

"What? This is the third thing today you've said she doesn't know-"

"Never came up in conversation." He huffed as he sat next to his grandmother at the picnic table, a nice blanket spread across it with two baskets on it. The twins sat across from them.

Anna smiled, "Would you like to hear some embarrassing stories about my little bunny, now that you're here?"

"Baba!-"

~~~

"And so, the reason he calls me Baba is because he took so long to start speaking in English, let alone Russian, that he couldn't even pronounce the word right! Now he can but it's just too cute to hear him call me Baba to ask him to call me anything else." Anna smiled and pinched Clementine's cheek, nearly making him drop the lemonade in his hands, "I don't know how he goes about managing to eat and drink things with those masks on."

"Straw," Clem said as he set his cup down, "And looking away to put the food in my mouth. They haven't seen my face, Baba. I'm going to go to the bathroom." He stood up and walked away, heading to the little restroom building nearby.

"What a shame." She smiled, "You know, Camille's grandfather was my second husband, I do miss him every day. He was the sweetest man alive, I met him when I moved to America."

Wisteria took a bite of her sandwich, "Oh? What happened to the first one?"

"Ah well...sometimes bad men get what's coming to them, don't you agree?" Anna's smile stayed as warm as it had been the whole time, she stirred her own lemonade a bit, "He...fell ill. Unfortunate really, a tragedy. Though, it was a blessing, I would've had to live with that man my whole life if he hadn't passed."

Foxglove paused as they went to eat some salad, looking up at the cheery old woman, "Did you...?"

"I would never! But I will say, sometimes things must be done and there's nothing wrong with that." She winked a bit, "Don't tell Camille, alright? Wouldn't want him overthinking something like he always does."

"You-"

Clementine walked back and sat down, "Did I miss anything?"

Anna laughed, "Oh, I was just about to tell them about your brothers!"

Wisteria and Foxglove looked at each other. Despite how much Clementine and Anna didn't look the same, what with Clem being a rather large man who somehow looked intimidating to the strangers passing by in his silly outfit, and Anna being a little old Russian woman...they could see the resemblance now. The woman was far friendlier and talkative than her grandson, but she had definitely just implied that she murdered her first husband and that Clementine has no idea.

~~~

"Can we meet the rest of your family?" Wisteria asked as they drove back home.

Clementine looked uncomfortable as he sunk in the backseat, "No. There's too many of them, and I don't want to be bombarded by my nieces and nephews."

"That's fair, six siblings..." Foxglove whistled, "That's a lot of kids for your parents to have. Can't imagine what the reunions are like."

"Loud."