05102016

                “Jin, slow down,” Boss huffed.

                He stretched out his hand for the young woman to take, offering his body as a way to balance her unstable footsteps. It was already natural that they walked at different paces. He was exceedingly taller than the average male and though she was taller than the average female, she found herself having a hard time keeping up with Jin. Still, after years of being near each other, she definitely noticed a restraint in his strides. He made it natural to walk with her and noticed the effort he made in even attempting to match their steps and how many they took together. It was a small gesture but it was always something that she appreciated. Without a second thought, she took her partner’s hand, struggling to keep her feet planted on the floor. 

                Any other time, she would have been fine walking by herself, needing no assistance whatsoever. However, tonight was a special night. The crew was out on a mission that required more formal attire. Somehow or another, due to a wild Amane and thieving Ai, the party was crashed and some very important individuals were caught in a frenzy. As a result, the squad had gotten separated from each other. Veya and Zero thankfully escaped somehow and were already headed home, Ai had long slipped past security and was headed towards her place, and Amane was still on the run. But that wasn’t the issue Boss was faced with at the moment. 

                Due to the banquet and events of the evening requiring high class taste, Boss was forced to wear her hair down, clothed in a dress and heels; Her two worst enemies. She was used to wearing platform shoes, which were thick throughout the whole shoe, but high heels were a completely different style that she had long been absent from. The skinny, pointed platforms made her feel like she was walking on ladders and screamed inevitable death. The dress was unnecessarily fancy, cupping her curves and completely backless, Ai’s unforgiving recommendation. The cream colored dress shimmered and sparkled, flowing its way down to her knees with matching shoes. Her long black hair with streaks of orange and red were curled up, tickling her back every now and again whenever she turned her head to look to the left or right. And Jin. Jin. He looked stunning. Granted he didn’t have the full suit on like planned, but he did comply with the suit shirt and tie. His tie was a dark, sheer burgundy while his pants and dress shoes were jet black. To Boss, it didn’t take too much for him to look more than decent. He was breathtakingly handsome. Strands of his silver hair draped over his face, since earlier at the party, he and Amane got in a very violent fight. The incident did more than turn a few eyes towards their direction. In fact, the problematic team caused the whole vicinity to be cleared out, causing authorities to appear at the scene. The things they did to interrupt a good evening….

                Regardless, her outfit made her extremely self conscious. It wasn’t her idea by any means; however, she could feel a threatening amount of attention on her. She wanted to run out of the uncomfortable threads and go back into her normal state. Though there was definitely something that slightly interested her….in a way. 

                Jin smiled when he took her hand, pulling her next to his side as she almost tripped, holding onto his arm tightly for more support. She felt like a newborn baby trying to walk for the first time. She looked up at him, a bit embarrassed, when she noticed his eyes. They looked somewhat clouded over, like he was in a trance. She didn’t understand it but she felt even weaker in the knees. The heels enabled her to be slightly taller now, reaching more towards his shoulder and chin. She saw his eyes analyze her face then run down her neck onto her hand that he held, solidifying the grip as they continued to walk down the street. He turned his gaze to the sidewalk ahead, almost as if he was struggling to keep his focus and his eyebrow kept twitching. 

                “Jin?” Boss demanded. He knew that tone of voice from her. She wanted an answer now. 

                “Yes, Boss?” he replied, keeping his gaze ahead. 

                “Jin, what is it?”

                “What is what?” he coyly replied. 

                “Jin, I’m ser-Agh!” She got cut off when she tripped, being caught by Jin’s fast reflexes as he held her by the waist, pulling her back up to her two feet as her ankles struggled to stay still. Her arms were wrapped around his back and neck, as she feared being dropped. “I hate this,” she mumbled under her breath. 

                “Are you ok?” Jin asked, maintaining a hand on her waist and hand to keep her standing. 

                Boss brushed a loose hair out of her face, the startling feeling of falling still lingering in her chest. “Fine,” she answered. “I just…These shoes….and this…stupid dress….”

                “You look….” Jin stopped. She looked up to see why suddenly the words were caught in his mouth. He stared intensely, as if he were choosing his words, but also choosing what he wanted to compliment. He eyed her up and down; dangerously. “Great. You look great.”

                She felt her face heat up with embarrassment, wanting to take cover from his eyes. Whenever she looked into Jin’s eyes they were terribly cold and dark. Every now and again she would see a glimpse of this side of Jin and it made her feel somewhat uneasy and extremely embarrassed. Knowing Jin, she couldn’t hide from him. They both knew too much about each other. “Y-you too,” she stammered back. 

                “Boss, we’re almost at the bus stop.” She returned from her thoughts, thankful that his eyes were now facing the blocks up ahead that showed signs of a bus stop, that were right across from a convenience store. “Did you need anything before we head home?”

                “I’m a little hungry,” she admitted. She wasn’t usually a large eater but the food at the banquet was far too fancy for her taste. She was fine with a few fruits and vegetables, occasionally adding actual meat to her plate. The wide array of fondues, platters, and large trays of cakes, expensive meats, and soups were too much for her stomach to handle just looking at it. She wasn’t impressed with the selection since it was stuff she was used to. Her family had money to spend. Every now and again they had their time (when her parents weren’t traveling) where they sat down to a full course meal with dishes upon dishes, but she preferred the life she lived with Farsquad. Their meals were much simpler and full of taste; probably because she also wasn’t eating alone most of the time.  “I hope they have pizza rolls,” Boss smiled. 

                The comment made Jin laugh, assuring her that it would most likely be in the frozen section of the store. “Let’s go before the bus comes, otherwise we’ll be walking for the rest of the night,” he said as he guided her across the street. His hand cupped her exposed back, causing chills to crawl up her spine. The action made her blush, causing her to lower her head and focus on her steps, redirecting her attention to the sound and force of her steps, rather than the warm fingertips that carefully caressed her cold back. 

                It was always comforting to feel his touch and know that he was always there, always ensuring that he was protecting her, helping her, even in the most selfish of times. Her heart began to race as she continued to count how many steps she had already taken. 12…13…14…15…16…

                She looked over at Jin who was somehow just as focused on getting to the convenience store on the side of the block. She wondered…

                Boss strategically gathered her hair through her fingers, brushing the layers to the other side of her neck, exposing the right side of her neck towards Jin. He looked over as they continued to walk, his steps becoming slightly slower and his attention distracted. So…he was looking. She bit her lip, trying to suppress her small smile that was trying to form. Somehow…that was all she needed for the night to make her happy. It sort of fed her ego to know that she could get his attention with little things. But it wasn’t like they were dating or anything. They weren’t an item or in any type of romantic relationship. They were always there for each other. Jin always supported her in her decisions and complied with her unbelievable selfishness. In her hardest times he made her feel safe and secure when nobody else understood. Through and through, Jin was her best man and her only man. He was her answer to continuing this life when it sucked the most. Most of all, Jin respected her boundaries and was a true gentleman, always asking for permission and never forcing her to give more of herself to him than she wanted him. Even if that meant he was lacking. But she wanted to be there for him too. Jin was…practically everything to her. She wanted to return his kindness and warmth for when he needed it. She often saw it in his eyes when he did. 

                That’s why whenever she felt nervous or strange around him. It truly felt odd and for months on end now she couldn’t figure it out. Time and time again…..a silent…almost invisible thought came to her mind as to why…but she decided to never again endorse those feelings and hurt herself. Never again…could she love. Jin wasn’t her lover. Nor was he was replacement for anyone in the past. He was now and the future and everything that she needed. He just wasn’t a lover…..

                Jin wasn’t a lover….

                “Lani…..Leilani…Leilani…” Jin’s deep voice resonated in her ear as her eyes came into focus of the tall man’s face in front of her own. The distance between them was almost fully closed in. “Leilani?”

                “Huh?” she softly responded back in confusion. Somehow, they ended up outside of the convenience store. Apparently, the sun was setting fast when she noticed that the street lights started to flicker on, the pastel sky turning more relaxed with hues of blue and dispersing clouds. “What…..did you say?”

                “I’m going in. I want you to stay here. I’ll quickly get the stuff and then we can wait for the bus.” Jin shuffled in his pockets for his wallet, shaking it in front of Boss’ face as she was still trying to understand all of what was going on. “Got it?”

                “Uh…n….no-no?” Boss looked inside, seeing a whole riot of drunken boys lurking in the convenience store, obviously causing trouble to the store clerk. “I wanna go with you.”

                Jin sighed as he leaned against the window of the store, looking down at Boss. He began to scratch his hair, tiredly massaging the back of his neck. Boss wondered when they had let go of holding hands; or when he released his hand from protecting her back. She waddled over next to Jin, now realizing how bad her feet were aching from wearing the heels all night. She leaned against the window as he did, staring up at him into his midnight eyes. He looked back, piercing her with that powerful and concentrated look again. Did he do that on purpose?

                “Is that a no?” she finally spoke, breaking the silence. 

                Jin hesitated to answer, giving her that strong gaze. “Only if you don’t leave my side,” 

                “I won’t,” she obediently responded. 

                “That means no wandering off,” he reiterated. 

                “I know,” 

                “Right here,” Jin said as he stretched out his hand once more. Boss took his hand, letting her weight be pulled by his strength, into a position where she was being hugged up to his chest as he held the opening to her back. His fingers burned into her skin. She desperately prayed within herself that Jin didn’t hear the sudden rapid beating of her heart. “Stay close. I mean it.”

                She silently nodded, trying to keep up with Jin as they started walking through the door. The automatic jingle signaled their entrance as the stench of strong alcohol and loud horseplay rung in her ears. Boss clung onto the end of Jin’s shirt as he carefully searched for the route that avoided the unwanted company to the freezer aisle to get what they came here for.         

                “Jin,” Boss stopped as she saw a large bag of chips caught her attention. “I think I’m good with this….”     

                He nodded, looking up at the rowdy group of men as he took the bag and walked over to the counter to pay. The clerk gave the amount, yelling back at the drunkards to keep it down and get out if they were there to mess up his store, handing back the change needed with the item in a bag. Jin gave a glare before leaving, fully aware of the stares that the men were giving towards Boss. She knew that if they weren’t already in enough trouble and the fact that it was so late, Jin would’ve gladly hit them with their own bottles, breaking it against their heads and leaving them out cold until the morning. She continued to tug on his shirt, whispering in his ear to leave and reminding him about the bus stop. In a lot of cases, she was there to make sure he was tame. As gentle and loving Jin can be, he was also a very dangerous being to mess with. In a way, she was grateful that it was for her sake. Still, she didn’t ever want to be separated from him because of a bad decision that she could intervene in and make him reconsider. 

                “Thank you, Jin,” Boss said, trying to break his unsettling stare towards the group, even after walking out to the bus stop. Jin silently nodded, keeping his grip against her body intact. He remained silent; walking into what seemed the void since she knew his mind wasn’t fully caught up with his stride. “Jin, don’t worry about those guys in there.” She finally said. 

                “I’m not worried about them.” He growled, furrowing his eyebrows. 

                “Then don’t look like that,”

                “They need to keep their eyes to themselves or else they won’t have any eyes left,” he grumbled under his breath. 

                “Jin,” Boss demanded. 

                His eyes shot in her direction, catching himself as he fixed his posture, releasing his defensive hand from her side, and shoving them in his pockets. “Sorry, Boss. I’m just-“

                “I know, Jin.” Boss reassured. “It’s ok. Let’s just go home.” 

                “Yeah,” he agreed. They sat at the bench of the bus stop, waiting for the scheduled time until their transportation came to take them back home. It was going to be quite a long ride back. So far, Jin hadn’t said anything. He kept staring off and his eyes felt distant. It was if he was avoiding her but she could only imagine why. When Ai and herself showed up with the rest of the gang at the event, Jin’s eyes dragged over her body in the dress. He also made it a point to note her shoe choice which was also another Ai style statement but other than that, he didn’t say much to her. Everything was sort of put out of balance. Even now she wished he would look at her with his shadowed blue eyes, talking to her in normal conversation rather than this unbearable silence. A part of her accepted it though. She knew she was terribly spoiled by him; his warmth, his strength, his dependability. They shared each other’s company a lot of the time so every moment that she wasn’t in his arms or in his hands felt lonely. Though she never knew if she should have spoken to this or not. What if he didn’t feel the same way? Then it would’ve looked like she was using him up. 

                “Jin, is there anything wrong?” she blurted out. 

                He turned his head towards her, a strong sense of self-restraint being applied as he did. He shook his head, rejecting the idea. Jin stretched his hands out, reaching for Leilani as he entangled their fingers together, bringing hers closer to his face. He smiled brightly as he placed a small peck on her hand. He looked as if some weight had been lifted off from his shoulders. “I was just thinking…the dress. It suits you.” 

                Boss stared into his eyes, seeing how Jin had meant that. Her breath escaped her and she had nothing else to say. The life inside her had come to a pause. She couldn’t move an inch of her body, feeling every part of her tense up, rigid against his fluid touch. Her sense came back when she heard the arrival of the bus, finally pulling up and opening the door to allow any passengers on board. Boss quickly pulled herself together as she clutched the bag of chips against her chest, finding the nearest seat to hide herself away in. 

                “Boss,” she heard Jin behind her call. “Slow down.”