Hurt Me Not

Laid together in bed – it wasn’t truly their first time like this, Solomon thought. It was their first time together like this with both of then conscious and well, Solomon’s first time admitting he loved Lys too.

“I love you,” Lys murmured, offering a hand out between them – testing the waters to see if Solomon wanted to bridge the gap between them.

“I love you too,” Solomon answered him, taking his hand and pulling him closer. Lys went gladly, pressed against Solomon’s chest. The wizard’s arm wrapped around him, hand smoothing along his back. The shuddering breath he took alarmed Solomon, though he didn’t know how to help.

“You don’t have to wait for me to ask,” the human began, voice dripping with as much trust as there was fear. “You could just take. I won’t complain; I can take the pain of it. Anything, just-“

“We’re not doing anything of the sort. I have what I desire,” the wizard slowly began to reassure him. He looked down to where his husband-to-be had curled in against him to hide the fear on his features, finding the man staring back up at him, waiting for a command that would never come. “I won’t do that to you.”

“You could have anything you-“ Lys was interrupted again, this time by a hiccupping sob. It occurred to the wizard that he sunk lower with every word, trying to offer something that’d be less painful for himself than what he envisioned – no, what had been done to him before. A simple spell soundproofed the room, keeping Lys from further torment if anyone else heard.

“I have you, that’s enough,” the wizard said, pulling Lys up closer to him and holding him there when he quietly repeated himself. “You’re enough.”

“I’d do anything. Just don’t hurt me for it, I’d do it willingly. I know I have to earn-“ he was stopped a third time, shushed by Solomon as he trembled.

“You don’t have to earn anything like that, never again. You don’t have to earn the right to be loved,” Solomon reassured him, holding the human as he did. Lys clung to him too, desperate for the kindness of it. “Love doesn’t hurt, someone you love shouldn’t hurt you.”

“I love you,” Lys murmured against his chest, voice rough from fear. Solomon wondered how much of his hesitance to admit to his love was from the fear of what it might cost, what he thought Solomon would do to him.

“I love you too, my René,” Solomon returned, holding Lys close until he’d calmed enough to stop trembling.

“We can talk through it, if you’d like,” the wizard offered after a few minutes, barely more than a whisper. Lys was surely exhausted from the day, let alone the fear; it wouldn’t have been out of place for him to need sleep.

“I don’t want to be hurt like that again, is all. I like doing what you ask me to; I don’t want to be hurt again when you could ask it of me,” the human whispered. Solomon waited to see if he wished to say more, speaking only when he was sure Lys had no more to say.

“I won’t hurt you. You’ll never be hurt like that again, no matter what,” Solomon promised, the brand upon his palm burning briefly with a reminder that it was written into Hell’s ledger. It didn’t matter how enforceable it was, he meant it.

“Thank you; I love you,” Lys said, settling his breathing with the relief of it. He knew Solomon meant it. He trusted Solomon.

“I love you too,” the wizard answered, pulling the blankets up around them to sleep through the night.