[sunny]

To accept everything as it is. To find joy in living. Because the other day, I looked at everything with different eyes. I was on the subway and all my friends’ voices were blurred out when I looked out the window. And sometimes I see people holding hands on the street. Or leaning on each other on the subway seats. My first thought is to be jealous. But it’s never the first thought that counts. At least that’s what I’ve been taught. And I decide to feel happy for them. I’m not going to be cheesy and say you should enjoy things because life is so short. Because life is long. It’s longer than the time it takes for my tears to dry. And it’s far too long to wait for idealized scenarios. Do you believe in fate? I think I do. Even when it hurts so much I can barely breathe for days. Because if I don’t, what’s there left for me to believe in? 

Symbolized by the color yellow. And this one’s easy. It’s my favorite color. It’s the sun on my thighs. I want Sunny’s drawings to evoke a sense of comfort. To depict warmth so naturally it makes your fingers stop aching. I want the colors to be strong enough to contrast the white background and soft enough to make you want to devour them. And I want the writing in them to reassure me, always.

I want to go back to feeling anything but dread.