Little Dolphrine’s Trip to the Shopping centre
Little dolphrine goes to the store and buys a bunch of random stuff he doesn’t need. Very random and not polished at all. This is a joke.
Author's Notes
This story is half written by yours truely and half by an A.I, tweaked so it isn’t complete and utter nonsense. It really liked the shopping list.
Once upon a time there was a strange critter by the name of Little Dolphrine. He is the love child between a Submarine and a dolphin. His front half being that of a dolphin, but instead of having flippers he had long, human hands and the back part of a submarine, complete with little windows that you could see inside his guts with. He was also really into scenecore and really colourful, his hair being split black and neon green.
Little Dolphrine was going about his day, minding his own business when he realised that he was low on groceries and that he needed to go to underwaterwoolies to go buy more groceries. So he grabbed $1000 dollars and headed on over. He wrote down a shopping list, which included:
~~~~~~~~~~~~ •Fish •Hair Gel •Submarine Oil •A single Cucumber •Egg •Some toast •Some mustard •Cheese •Milk •The Cucumber •Toast •Some milk •A year’s worth of monster energy ~~~~~~~~~~~~
He wrapped the list into a neat little piece of underwater parchment paper and he shoved it into his nostrils for safekeeping.
He arrived at the shopping center, licking his lips. He was starving, so he went up to the local Sushi Store.
“What would you like?” Asked the restaurant owner, who was a fish, who is selling sushi. Think about that.
“Something with skin for extra nutrients” Replied Little Dolphrine. “Salmon skin?” Enquired the owner. “Errrrrhh, will it look tasty?” Dolphrine asked. “Sure, it’ll be really juicy and not dried out at all”. He nodded as he grabbed a nice, lovely piece of salmon and slammed his head into it multiple times, turning it into expertly made sushi. Little dolphrine thought about the missing children he saw on teh internet’s.
“Here you go. 69 dollars please” Little Dolphrine payed the price and then absolutely demolished the sushi in his mouth, consuming the salmon skin nutrients. His normal neon colours seemed to glow even brighter.
“MMMMMmm” MMMMMMMMMMMM
“MMMMMMMMMMM”
“MMMMM”
MMMMMM”
MMMMMM”
It was nice for a while, then he began to taste it. “Yuck! It tastes just like salmon skin!” He complained.
“Yes, it does.” Nodded the owner.
“I need more.” Cried Little Dolphrine.
“69 dollars.”
Little Dolphrine paid the price yet again and consumed another plate of Salmon skin sushi. “Yummmmmmm” Cried Little Dolphrine.
“Wuuuuuugggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” Yelled Dolphrine and grabbed the sushi out of his mouth. “That is why I eat sushi every day.” He cried. He then put the sushi back into his mouth. “Thank you mister sushi man”
“You’re welcome” replied the owner as he slowly backed away, phasing into the walls and into the backrooms.
Little Dolphrine sneezed out his shopping list, unwrapped it and read it out as he went into underwater woolies.
“First on the list: Fish.”
He went into the “funeral” section and picked out a nice tuna.
“Second in the list: Hair gel.”
He went into the “amazing” section and picked out some of the best Hair Gel he could find.
“Third in the list: Submarine Oil.”
He went into the “jewelry” section, as most people with submarines were rich. Not little Dolphrine. He may have had $1000 at the start of this but he certainly wouldn’t be having much left over after he buys his weekly merch from Hot- Topic.
“Fourth in the list: A cucumber.”
He went into the “treasure” section and picked out a shiny gold-coloured and gold-plated ping-pong ball.
“Fifth in the list: A 2 litre bottle of Red Bull.”
He got another gold plated ping-pong ball.
“SIXTH IN THE LIST: EGG”
He made his way to the sandwich section and he got a nice roast beef sub.
“Seventh in the list: Potato Chips”
He bought some pepsi for his mom.
“Eighth in the list: A pair of Ray-Ban Sunglasses.”
He bought the cheapest pair he could find.
“Ninth in the list: A pair of Nikes.”
He got 2 pairs of leather shoes.
“Tenth in the list: A lollipop”
He bought a pink lollipop. A dragon-lollipop. Or was it purple?
“Eleventh in the list: A bag of Soylent.”
He bought a big bag of Soylent.
“Twelfth in the list: Dead babies.”
He got a pair of zombie baby boots.
“Thirteenth in the list: Green Ring.”
He got a pirate ring.
“Fourteenth in the list: Copy of dead man.”
He got the dead man book.
“Fifteenth in the list: Toothpaste.”
He got toothpaste.
“Sixteenth in the list: Dictionary.”
He got the dictionary of dogs.
“Seventeenth in the list: An elderly woman who is still alive and a dog.”
He bought an elderly woman who is still alive and a dog.
“Eighty-First in the list: Read dead man.”
He bought the dead man book. Again.
“Ninety-First in the list: Supernatural Things.”
He bought the books of paranormals and sci-fi.
“One Hundredth in the list: Empty Sock Bags.”
He bought 20 pair of their stupid empty sock bags.
“Twentieth in the list: A jar of Herbal Lotion.”
He got some kind of talc-based witch cream from the beauty aisle.
“Thirteenth in the list: Batman helmet.”
He got a ninja-Batman mask.
“Sixteenth in the list: A hammer.”
He bought a hammer.
“Seventeenth in the list: A cricket bat.”
He bought a baseball bat.
“Nineteenth in the list: An iron.”
He got an iron.
“Twentieth in the list: Any Earth-Cannot-Smoke Cigarettes.”
He got some alternative “smoking” cigarettes.
“Twenty-first in the list: Fingerglove.”
He got a spider-man-shaped fingerglove.
“Twenty-second in the list: An oven mitt.”
He bought an oven mitt.
“Twenty-third in the list: A small, earth-can-“
He got a megaphone.
“Twenty-fourth in the list: An odd-shaped item.”
He bought a large rock.
“Twenty-fifth in the list: UHHHHHHHHH”
Little dolphrine then did a cheat code to go home.
“Space: Above
Above Space: Below
Below Space: Above
Above Space: Below
Above Space: Below
Above Space: Below
Above Space: Below
Above Space: Below
Below Space:”
A side effect with the cheat code is that random landmarks flashed before your eyes as you teleport home.
Landmarks, included:
Good Neighbor’s Pizza, which Little dolphrine didn’t know was a junk food chain.
E-Zee Oven Supply, which was the name of a branch of Sears.
“Overwhelmed”, was Little dolphrine. But now, he was home, with all of the random stuff that he bought. Even so, he was happy. But then, the elderly woman-dog bit him!
The end