gdocs title "i have mental problems"

Late one night, as they were quietly chatting before bed, Aki rolled over and nestled their face into Kogarasumaru’s neck. “My love,” they began, “Can I tell you something? No one…no one else can know, though.”

Kogarasumaru hummed, running his fingers through their hair. “Of course. Anything my darling wife tells me doesn’t leave our room.”

They took a deep breath, cheeks burning, and burrowed their face closer towards him. “…I don’t know how to wield a sword.”

To his credit, he stifled the laugh that rose in his throat, disguising it as a noise of interest. “Hoh? You command swords, and yet you cannot wield us?”

Aki huffed with indignation. “Be nice to me,” they whined. “I wanted to learn, but…it kind of got to a point that it would’ve been more embarrassing to begin.”

He shifted slightly to better cradle their head. “If I could offer a suggestion, who better to teach you the art of swordplay than the father of all modern katana?”

“…Would you?” Aki sounded absolutely ecstatic. They pushed back slightly, looking up at him. Their eyes were shining.

Kogarasumaru laughed out loud at their earnest reaction. “Of course. We can begin whenever you would like.”

“Tomorrow? Can we tomorrow? No one’s going to be sparring tomorrow after dinner. I’ll make sure of it.”

He kissed their forehead. “That would be an interesting change of pace from our usual evening affairs, wouldn’t it?”

Aki blushed and pushed their head against his neck again, saying nothing.

---

Following dinner the next evening, Aki and Kogarasumaru slipped into the dojo, leaving the lights off. “The moon is sufficient, don’t you agree?” Kogarasumaru had asked. Always appreciating the way he looked in the moonlight, Aki nodded.

They walked towards the rack of practice swords on the wall, obviously intent on choosing one to use. Before they could take one down, though, Kogarasumaru let out a soft “Ah,” to catch their attention. They turned, looking somewhat confused. He smiled pleasantly. “I have a slightly different idea for our first lesson.”

He beckoned them back to his side, hands resting on the hilt of his sword. Aki sounded confused. “I can’t learn to use a sword if I don’t have a sword to use, Kochan.”

Kogarasumaru untied his sword from his waist with deft fingers. “You have some experience with how to safely handle a sword, don’t you? In that case, I feel it’s best to learn how to properly hold a sword before you move on to actually using one.” Holding it out in both hands, he offered the sword in its sheath to Aki. “Wield me.”

Aki held out both of their hands face-up, hands trembling slightly. They asked, “Are you sure? It’s your true form. This feels…”

“Intimate?” Kogarasumaru interrupted. “I believe we’ve done things far more intimate than this, Aki.” His tone was teasing. He handed them the sword. Aki’s cheeks turned red, but they said nothing. He continued, “Do you know how to safely draw a sword?”

Aki nodded, holding the sword in one hand and grasping the hilt with their other hand. They stepped back from Kogarasumaru slightly, in order to be able to safely withdraw it in two clean motions. He walked around them, to their side, and grabbed the sheath to rest it gently on the ground. “Move your feet slightly further apart, my love. You need to maintain your balance.” They shifted, adopting a wider stance. Kogarasumaru put his hands on their shoulders, pulling them back slightly. “Too far forward and the same issue arises,” he continued, tone light to offset any semblance of scolding.

They placed their now-free hand on the hilt, further down than their dominant hand. “Like this, right?” Aki tried to mimic the way they had seen swords being held in the past.

Kogarasumaru hummed, scrutinizing their grip. “Not quite. Allow me.”

He stepped behind them, wrapping his arms around their shoulders. He placed his hands on top of theirs, and gently nudged them to adjust their grip. Aki’s breath caught in their throat as Kogarasumaru pressed against their back.

“Breathe, my love,” he crooned into their ear. They shivered. He chuckled quietly, right next to their ear, causing them to jump slightly. “Hoh, don’t drop me, now,” Kogarasumaru teased.

Aki readjusted their grip once more, asking, “Like this?”

Kogarasumaru hummed, sounding pleased. “Exactly like that.” He lowered his voice slightly, murmuring teasingly, “It’s difficult for me to express in words how nice it feels to have you hold me like this…”

Aki’s breath hitched, and they whined, softly, “Kochan, I…”

They were interrupted by a loud squeal from the direction of the engawa. Their head snapped towards the noise, and they were startled to find a small group of sword warriors watching them. Midare had their hands over their face, but peeked through gaps in their fingers. They had clearly been the one to make the noise.

Kogarasumaru did not seem startled at all. Aki whispered sharply, “You knew everyone was there, didn’t you?” He stepped back, extracting his sword from their grip. As he busied himself with resheathing his sword, Aki kept talking, mostly just babbling due to embarrassment. “You should have told me! I was focused on making sure I did it right—ah, if I’d dropped you—I wasn’t looking out the door! Why didn’t you mention we had an audience?”

As they continued on their tirade, Kogarasumaru retied his sword at his hip. Once he finished, he reached out a hand, placing his fingers under Aki’s chin. “I do apologize. I just always enjoy showing others how beautiful you are when you are working hard…”

“Kochan,” Aki murmured, voice meltingly sweet.

Another squeal resounded from the hallway, followed by Midare calling, “No, no more! Aruji, this is so embarrassing…!” They ran into the dojo, tossing their arms around Aki’s waist from behind.

Aki laughed despite their embarrassment. As the other few swords who were watching the tableau entered the room, they smiled slightly. “Let’s continue later,” they said, eyes softening as they glanced at Kogarasumaru.

When he replied, “I have something else I’d rather continue,” Midare was right to squeal again. Aki blushed, swatting lightly at him.