大きな黒い羽ひとひら

Deep within the mountains lives a god. He rules over the ayakashi, the ghosts, and the spirits. The crows are his messengers. If ever one crosses your path, be sure to greet it politely. Do not earn his ire. You may need his protection from his own subjects if you ever find yourself in the mountains at night, after all.

---

Such stories were common in the village where Aki was born. Everyone, young and old, knew of the king of crows who watched over the village. He was a god of the land, of the people. He had refused a shrine when one was constructed for him, it was said. The king was not a demanding one. The townspeople often left out small trinkets for his messengers if they had any, and scraps of food or fabric if they did not.

There was no room for disbelief in these stories. Everyone in the village, at some point in their life, had run across some kind of spirit in the mountains. It was not myth; it was fact.

Few, however, had met the king himself. Of these, most had caught but a brief glimpse of him late at night—a bamboo cutter, a hunter, an herbalist, returning home as quickly as they could. The others, those who had seen him long enough to describe how he looked, could be counted on one hand.

Aki’s mother was one of them. They’d heard the story countless times over the years, the details always so consistent that they knew it was the truth.

---

She had gone out to catch fireflies with her siblings, many years before. One, particularly bright, caught her attention. She had wandered away from the group, into the trees at the foot of the mountain. She eventually lost sight of the firefly, and found herself completely turned around.

Just as she was beginning to lose hope that she would ever return home, a figure stepped across her path. His black and red robes fluttered around him. His jet-black hair was tied up in such a way that she mistook them for wings at first glance. His eyes were somehow both impossibly black, and bright and shining. His voice was kind as he held out his hand to her and offered to return her to her family.

A crow circled overhead, which she took as a sign that he could be trusted. He escorted her what felt like only a short distance before, between the trees, she could make out the field where her siblings were calling her name. She turned to thank him, but he was already gone.

---

All he left behind was a single large, black feather. It was Aki’s mother’s most cherished possession. The feather became their own most cherished possession when she passed one winter, not long after Aki became an adult.

Aki felt their life had stagnated after their mother’s passing. The days blurred together. They rarely sought out the company of others. All they could bring themself to do was wander the forests near their home. They toyed with the feather as they walked. Being surrounded by the breeze, the sunshine, and the trees all felt wrong. If ever a crow crossed their path or cawed from the treetops, Aki bowed or called out, “Good day.” It was what their mother would have wanted, after all.

Winter turned to spring; spring turned to summer. Aki still roamed the forests. They became less and less cautious about the sun’s passage through the skies. After all, would the mountains at night truly be worse than returning to that empty house? Aki wasn’t sure they knew the answer.

One evening, as summer was just beginning to cede its hold to autumn, Aki decided to push their luck. As the sun set, they headed deeper into the mountains. Just as they began second-guessing themself—perhaps it would be better to return home, to have an ounce of self-preservation—a crow called from the treetops.

They called a greeting, and continued on their path. If they were being watched over, it mustn’t matter either way. They carried onwards, clutching the feather to their chest. The crow continued watching over them, following along just ahead of them on the path. The sun disappeared on the horizon, plunging the forest into the darkness of night. Only the moon, shining overhead, provided light by which to see.

In the pale moonlight, they could see the iridescent shimmer of the crow in the trees overhead. They carried onward. After all, they thought, I have the king’s protection.

As they walked, they began to hear a thumping in the distance. Aki quickly identified this sound as faint drum beats. The crow cawed again, bringing them back to their immediate surroundings. A group approached, of several individuals in kimono. They had veils covering their faces, all carrying lanterns and conversing boisterously. If they were walking so carefreely through the mountains at night, they must be ayakashi, Aki realized.

They moved to the side of the path and bowed their head politely. “Please go ahead of me,” they insisted quietly. They hoped they wouldn’t be noticed. Just as the group passed them, however, an ayakashi near the back of the group turned and held his hand out towards Aki. “Come with us,” he called out. “The king is taking a bride tonight.”

Aki hesitated. Joining their group would certainly be dangerous: they had to know Aki was a human, after all. However, the crow flew down from the tree above their head, and landed on the ground in front of them. It looked at Aki, tilted its head, and hopped towards the group of ayakashi. It wants me to follow, they realized.

They felt as if their heart skipped a beat as they contemplated what this could mean. Did the king want them to be these spirits’ prey? Perhaps, rather, he already knew what they were just figuring out: if anyone could lead them to their mother, surely it would be the king. Even if it was merely to their grave, Aki decided to trust his will. They stepped towards the group, bowing once more. “If you don’t mind my intrusion,” they started, sounding somewhat meek. The ayakashi who had invited them clasped their shoulder. “The more, the merrier!” He exclaimed. “It’s always better to invite guests to a banquet. His Majesty will be pleased, I’m sure.”

The crow flew and settled on Aki’s shoulder. It nestled against their hair as if cuddling up close to them. If this is how I am to die, at least let it be quick.

Everyone fell back into delighted chattering as they began walking once more. The drum beats were beginning to become more distinct. Every so often, a musical instrument could be heard on the breeze. The closer they got to the banquet, the more certain Aki was that their intended recipient was the king himself.

So be it, then. If the king willed for them to be his prey, Aki’s mother would want nothing more than for them to follow through to the end. A life for a life, perhaps. He had saved their mother, and now payment was due. They wouldn’t mind if that was the case.

Aki decided to sate their curiosity somewhat before they got to the banquet. “What is the king’s bride like?” They asked the nearest ayakashi. “Oh,” they sighed. “Lovely, I’m told. Absolutely beautiful, just like the previous generations of their family.”

They hummed in acknowledgement. The king had been acquainted with his bride for quite some time, then. Aki always thought it was lovely when relationships worked out that way. “Is it another god, then? I haven’t left the area before. I can’t say I’m aware of any other gods the king may be acquainted with…”

Another member of the party chimed in. “No, they’re from the area, he says! Oh, I’m so excited to meet his bride…”

This was somewhat surprising. “You haven’t met them before?”

They shook their head. “No, no, I don’t know that any of us have. I think he’s just protective of them. He always speaks of them so fondly, but none of us have met this person…”

“He’s deeply in love,” Aki stated. How nice, they thought. If they’d met someone like that, maybe they would never have been in the forest tonight. They never would have walked boldly towards their own death. Someone would have been waiting for them. They would have had something they’d left behind.

The music grew louder. All of a sudden, the path opened up into a large clearing, lit by lanterns all around. Dozens of ayakashi filled the clearing, drinking and shouting, dancing and singing.

It was perfect and lively. Aki felt warm inside. They hadn’t felt this way in a very long time.

Aki’s traveling companions dropped into low bows so quickly they didn’t even have time to register what had happened. They found themself face to face with eyes both impossibly black, and bright and shining.

Oh, so this is the king…

The crow that had been perched on Aki’s shoulder for the entire journey flew away to settle on his shoulder instead. It seemed they had reached their final destination.

Aki bowed, as low as they could manage without falling over. “Your majesty, good evening,” they greeted. Perhaps, if they were polite, their death would be an easy one.

“Rise, all of you,” he insisted. Aki did, as did the rest of their party. The king gestured around them. “Go enjoy the festivities. The main event will begin shortly, so please relax until then.” He made eye contact with Aki, and added, “You, however, please stay a moment.”

Aki felt rooted in place. He was so pleasant to look at. Their mother had described him hundreds of times, and yet they had never expected the king to look this beautiful, this handsome, this ethereal. He truly deserved to be revered the way he was, they decided.

“I’m so pleased you arrived,” he began, a smile on his face. “The party cannot start without you.”

So they would be a wedding gift. What a beautiful end, they mused. Their mother would be proud.

He reached out a hand to touch their face, his fingernails, so much like a bird’s talons, gently grazing their skin. His touch was gentle. The king himself seemed kind. Yes, their death would be merciful, surely.

The king sighed wistfully, startling Aki. Just as they were wondering what had happened, he spoke again. “My beloved bride.”

It took several moments for their mouth to catch up with their thoughts. “What?” Aki asked, dumbfounded.

His smile grew. “I’m certain your escort told you the reason for our banquet tonight.”

Their eyes widened slightly. “They did, but they didn’t mention who the bride was! They just described them in vague terms.”

“They weren’t aware of who I had chosen,” the king replied simply.

Aki still felt dumbfounded. “Why me, though?”

“I watched over your mother, your grandfather, your great-grandmother…it was time I took you into my care, too.”

“You weren’t married to my mother!” Aki exclaimed.

The king tucked a lock of their hair behind their ear. “That was not the way I could best help her. You, however, have become special to me.”

They scoffed, almost sounding indignant. “Why would marrying me help me…respectfully, your majesty?”

The king laughed, thumb stroking Aki’s cheek. “You’re alone in the world, aren’t you? You came to the forest seeking direction, or purpose. You followed my little one because you believed he would guide you where you were meant to go, didn’t you?”

Aki nodded. He was spot on, they had to agree, deep down. They’d believed that the crow would help them, as their mother—and, evidently, generations before her—also had been helped.

“I can provide companionship,” the king continued. “I can provide a place in the world. You will know the vector of your life, should you be willing to accept me.”

They studied his face closely. They expected to find amusement, or perhaps pity, or even resignation. His expression, however, was one of desperation and of longing. He wanted them to say yes, they realized. He wanted them themself, for reasons he wasn’t letting on verbally. Perhaps, due to… “Your majesty,” they asked, “If I could briefly speak with you in complete confidence? It’ll only be a moment.”

After a moment’s pause to register what they meant, the king nodded. “Of course.” He tilted his head to glance at the crow still perched on his shoulder. “Taiyou, my dear child, if you would?” The bird flew away, and he faced them once more. “What ever is the matter?”

Aki stared into those dark, beautiful eyes, gathering the way to best phrase what they wanted to say. “There’s more to your request than wanting to help me, isn’t there? You want me to say yes for your own reasons, not just for my wellbeing. You wouldn’t have come up with marriage, of all things, as an option otherwise. Respectfully,” they tacked on hastily, feeling somewhat flustered for having spoken so candidly to a god.

The king, however, looked positively delighted by their insolence. “No need to be so formal. If you say yes, you will be my wife, after all.” His face grew wistful. “That is precisely why I’m asking. Actually, why I’ve fallen for you despite not having met you directly until now.” Aki tilted their head, not quite understanding. The king closed his eyes briefly, exhaling deeply through his nose. “I am revered as a king in these forests. While I keep my subjects close to me, it also means that all those I meet treat me as their superior. To them, I am a leader—a father, even, to many.”

Aki frowned, feeling the need to remind him, “You’re a king in the village as well, your majesty. You are, after all, a god.”

He smiled softly. “Yes. That is true,” he agreed. “However, it is a distant worship. Very few of you in the village have a personal connection to me the way that my subjects do. I take care of you indirectly, and protect you from afar, but we are not a family. I am, perhaps, above you, but not directly so. I believe many of you see me as more of a kind, benevolent elder who lives just outside of the village proper. I am not who you look to when you need decisions made. I do not get a say in the affairs of humans. You are independent of me, not dependent upon me.”

They hummed, lost in thought. “Does this not mean any human would do, then? Was it the case that I was just the first one to arrive?”

The king took a deep breath, eyes cast slightly away from Aki’s own gaze. They were surprised to see a hint of color in his cheeks. “I’ve kept a special eye on your family for a reason, you know. Your great-grandmother was far closer to me than most humans, but I believe she saw me as little more than a friend, at best. Your grandfather was much the same—I was the first he told about his wedding, you know.” He let out a deep sigh. “Your mother’s fervent devotion to me was a very unexpected exception. I always had lamented my inability to form a bond with her in any meaningful way, because she relied on me spiritually. However, it did mean that I was able to see you far sooner than I had thought. You always kept a piece of me with you, after all. I was pleased when I realized it was because of what your mother meant to you and not because of any particular attachment to me.”

Aki felt somewhat disturbed by this. “Are you…” They hesitated, feeling unsettled, “Are you able to watch me through the feather?”

The king’s eyes widened in shock. “No, of course not, nothing so intrusive!” He hastily reassured them. “Because the feather was once a part of me, I am able to…have a vague sense of the atmosphere around it. I could, at best, have a faint idea of your emotional state. If you were sad, or scared, or delighted, or content, or confused…” He sighed. “You’re such a fascinating, complex person, my darling. Is it any wonder I fell in love?” He made eye contact, facing them with a beautiful, inviting smile. “I shall ask directly this time. Will you become my bride, and live as my companion, my equal, my dearest Aki?”

They surprised even themself with how satisfied they were with his explanation. He needed them just as much as they did him, they suspected. He hadn’t said it directly, but the implication was quite heavy. They held up their hand, hesitantly letting their fingers brush against the king’s cheek. “I will. I will marry you.”

The smile on the king’s face at their reply was so beautiful, so genuine, that Aki knew in their heart that they had themself fallen in love at that moment. The king took their hand, and escorted them towards the banquet. The cheers that erupted when the king introduced Aki as his bride were so raucous that they wondered if they would be able to be heard from the village. They were, of course, aware that every being in attendance was sure to recognize them as human eventually, if they hadn’t already, but that seemed to matter little to any of the ayakashi in attendance. Aki was being declared special and important in front of all of them. Furthermore, and perhaps more importantly, their focus clearly was upon that they all had an opportunity to drink long into the night. It was not long before Aki and their new husband were cajoled into joining in the festivities.

Unused to this much socializing and drinking, Aki found their eyes growing heavy before very long. They leaned against the king’s shoulder. Just before drifting off, they lamented internally what a shame it was that they were sure to forget so much of this beautiful evening.

---

Aki awoke the next morning in their own futon, clutching a single, large, black feather. Instead of being able to gradually rise, they found themself jolting fully awake, heart seized with grief.

Why had they dreamt something so beautiful? They wondered. Just as they’d thought they’d have a chance at happiness, the dream had ended. Ah, but such was life, they thought bitterly. It was rarely fair.

Suddenly feeling the heavy, unbearable weight of sadness settle on their chest once more, Aki rose from bed, determined to at least prepare breakfast before their depression became too heavy for them to move.

Stepping into their kitchen, they almost ran into the back of the king, watching a pot of miso soup simmer on the stove. Aki froze, feeling their mind go blank. “The king is in my kitchen,” they muttered, tone completely flat. They felt completely dumbfounded.

“Your husband is making you breakfast, yes,” he clarified cheerfully.

“The king is in my kitchen and he is making me breakfast,” Aki repeated, unable to form a coherent thought.

“Are you so surprised, my love? I was worried you wouldn’t be feeling well this morning, considering how soundly you slept last night.” Aki remained silent, unsure of how to respond, but he continued anyway, sounding amused. “And please, call me by name. It feels strange to have the wife I chose to be my equal referring to me by titles.” He smiled gently. “Kogarasumaru,” he enunciated clearly, pointing to himself.

“Kogarasumaru,” they repeated, still not able to fully process the situation they had found themself in. “Kogarasumaru…-sama?” They tried again, attempting to get used to the name.

“Anything you would like to call me is fine. Please do not feel you have to use honorifics if that is not how you refer to those close to you. I, myself, am quite fond of yobisute. I hope you don’t mind.”

They waved their hand in front of them, starting to get used to this bizarre scenario. They were pretty sure he’d already referred to them as such, so it hardly mattered. “Um…!” They exclaimed suddenly, bouncing back onto their heel, “I have leftover pickled vegetables in that jar next to the stove, if you’d like those with breakfast…” Aki hesitated, eyebrows knitting together with the effort it took to tack on, “…Ko-chan!” They could tell their face was red.

Kogarasumaru looked shocked for a brief moment, and Aki wondered if they had gone a little too far overboard with the nickname. However, that beautiful, awed smile returned to his face. “That’s absolutely lovely, Aki. We should have that, too. And that manner of address…ah, I like that very much. Please keep calling me that.” He turned away from them to stare into the pot of miso. They just barely caught a glimpse of his pink cheeks as he admitted, “It makes my heart race, dear.”

Aki almost yelped from how quickly their own heart started racing. Ah, if this was their husband, perhaps they would die to him after all. Did humans die from feeling too much emotion?

As the two of them finished with breakfast, a thought occurred to Aki. “What are…um, what do you do all day?”

Kogarasumaru tilted his head, as though he hadn’t expected to ever be asked that. “Normally, I keep watch over my children, mediate their problems…I do not need to do much, usually.” He paused, eyes shining. “But I suppose now I have many things to do.”

Aki didn’t understand. “What else do you have to do?” The things he had listed sounded like what they had expected someone who was both god and king to say.

He smiled brightly, giving the follow-up answer they least expected. “I shall be helping you with housework, of course.”

Aki glanced towards the small family altar in the corner of the room, mentally apologizing to their parents for this turn of events. They truly had not meant to get into such a situation that the king of crows would be doing their housework. “You have experience with that?” They asked, sounding shocked. “I do!” He exclaimed. “I am not the kind of king who makes his subjects serve him hand and foot. As I have said before, they are more like my children than my servants. I will not fail in this task. Please, expect the best from your husband.”

Aki made a mental note to leave the absolute best portions of food later as offerings for their parents. Married or not, they would need a thousand apologies to make up for this.