Flaming Teapot

Familiars didn’t sleep, not really.  Teacup told herself she was glad for that every night, sitting next to Vasya.  She could watch over them.  No one could catch them off guard with her there.

But part of her wished that she could do that, close herself off to the world for a few short hours.  Because she felt the same terror as Vasya did in their dreams every night, shadowy faces that she almost recognized.  Those thoughts made her feel guilty, though; she was the only one who could share that with them, could give comfort in the morning, and part of her wanted nothing to do with it.

She exhaled a coil of smoke and turned her focus back to the door.

Nothing ever happened, of course, and tonight was no different.  As the sunlight began to pour in through the windows, she nudged Vasya awake, brushing her thoughts over theirs to chase the last bits of dread away.

“Is it time to get up already?”  Vasya rolled onto their side to peer at her.  She blew hot air into their hair.  “Alright, one minute.”

She flew away to give them their space to get ready.  Once they’d washed up and looked far more awake, they opened the door and Teacup flew out immediately, glad to go into the full sunlight of the hall and into the kitchen, even if she couldn’t feel its heat herself.

“Don’t forget to eat today,” she told Vasya as they were about to walk out into the shop without stopping.  They stuck their tongue out at her and she hissed.

“Fine,” they said and took a few minutes to cook breakfast.  Teacup could smell the food through them and wondered what it would be like to eat.  Probably gross.  “But some people like to come in early, Teacup, you know that.”

“Too bad for them.  They can wait.”

Vasya laughed.  “Mean.”

“Sometimes it’s good to be mean,” she said, annoyed, and whirled around into the shop with them once they were done.  “People like to take advantage of you because you’re too nice.”

They shrugged, grabbing the keys from their place under the counter and going to unlock the door.  “I don’t mind.”

Teacup sighed.  I love you, Vasya.  But be careful.

Love you too.  And I will.  Why so worried today?  As always, they picked up on her thoughts quickly.

She settled onto the counter and scratched at her shell, writhing against the lid in a pointless bid to pop it off.  It had been six years and it hadn’t worked, and Vasya remained oblivious to it.  Probably had something to do with their shared memory issues.

Ugh.  I want to burn something.  She glanced around the empty shop, but there was nothing there worthwhile.  I hope Solomon comes soon.  With new shoes.

She puffed out smoke rings in increasing quantity until Vasya coughed, then felt a little guilty about it.

“Bored?”

“Very.”  She spun on the counter, “do you still have those cards?”

“I do -” the bell rang as someone walked in.

Almost as though Teacup’s thoughts had summoned him, Solomon stood in the doorway, carrying his usual papers.  Teacup felt a mischievous sort of delight and bounced back and forth slightly as he glared at her.

“Good morning, Solomon!”  Vasya, as always, ignored their staredown.  Teacup wasn’t sure if they were completely oblivious or just chose to pretend it didn’t happen, “I’ll go get your tea ready!”

“Teapot,” he greeted, in a low tone that said not today you little shit.  She exhaled a smoke ring at him and hissed softly.  That was just how they said ‘hello’ and ‘I hate you’.

Teacup?  Can you help me with the water?  With one last grumble at Solomon, she flew off to the kitchen.  Once Vasya had come out the shop was starting to fill up again, and she didn’t have time to plot how best to bother Solomon for the day for about an hour.

Tea.  She was so sick of tea.  Who had put her into a stupid fucking teapot, anyway?  Was that just some sort of sick joke to rub it in?

Are you really getting them cookies again, Vasya?  She regarded them with only a little bit of judgement as they were grabbing a plate from the kitchen.

Vasya grinned, well, I want to make sure Petar and Bozhi come back.  You know how Solomon scares people sometimes.  I don’t want him to terrify his only other friends.

Teacup snorted.  Yeah, I guess he needs all the help with that he can get.

So mean!  Vasya flicked her wing gently.  She laughed a little, following ominously behind them just to watch Solomon’s wary expression as she came near.

She lingered by the table, breathing smoke between Petar and Bozhi as the two youngsters sat still and tried to ignore her.  Teacup would’ve smiled if she could; they must’ve thought she’d try to burn them like she did Solomon if they misbehaved.

Solomon scowled at her but said nothing.  He seemed to think that ignoring her was the best option, even if it never worked.  She slipped behind Petar’s head, making him jump, and bumped against Bozhi’s feet as she flew under the table.

The man rather helpfully tried to kick at her, and she snorted out a bit of flame onto the toe of his shoes.  For a few moments, she delightedly engaged with him under the table, ducking his feet and burning a lovely butt-shape onto the side of the least burnt of the pair.

With a satisfied noise, she flew up, knocking a pen out of Bozhi’s hand, and back to Vasya, who was seated alone by the counter.

“Today again?”  They sighed, apparently well aware of what she’d been doing, “why can’t you two leave eachother alone?”

He’s mean.  Teacup did a self-righteous spin in the air.  I don’t care if you don’t believe me.

“Alriiiight,” they said, just don’t set his pants on fire again, okay?

No promises.  Teacup settled back down onto her favourite spot on the counter; there were small black rings around it from where she’d left soot marks.  I’ll try to be nice.

“Good.”  Vasya tapped their fingers on the counter for a minute, peering at the door.  When no one so much as passed by the shop they turned back to her, “do you still want to play cards?”

“Yes!”

She felt their delight and revelled in it.  Neither of them had any idea how to play for real, but that didn’t matter.  They just made it up as they went along.

Soon enough the counter was covered in various cards.  Most of them had some amount of ash on their edges from Teacup awkwardly dragging them along the wood; she wished she had fingers.  That would be nice.

“Are you okay?”

“Perfectly fine,” Teacup replied immediately.  She’d gotten in her daily quota of burned shoes.  It was looking to be a good day.

Vasya laughed and shook their head at that thought.

She swept another card over one of Vasya’s, not even bothering to look at what either was.  “Checkmate.”

“Checkmate?  Isn’t that for a different game?”

“Not anymore,” she said, smugly, “it’s my word now.”

Vasya shook their head and smiled, “if you say so.”

They played cards a few more times between scattered customers before Vasya decided to have a nap; these hours were usually quiet, and they got up so terribly early.

Well, that was mostly because she and Solomon chased off anyone stupid enough to walk in while they were sleeping and try to wake them.

She snorted a burst of flame at the most recent idiot and settled back into her spot beside Vasya’s head.  Solomon put away his knife with a disappointed look in her direction that said that was my turn, you stupid teapot.

Oh well, she glared back at him, at least as best as she could.  She would’ve scraped her wings against the porcelain of her shell to annoy him, but Vasya didn’t sleep that deeply.

She woke them before Petar and Bozhi left for the day; they always liked to see them out, and she didn’t want them to feel bad for missing out on that.  They were always so glad to leave; she supposed not everyone could just set Solomon’s shoes on fire without having to worry about being stabbed.

I wish he’d try it, just once.  Teacup sighed while Vasya was distracted with farewells and trying to press more food onto them.  Maybe he’d smash this stupid teapot.

As it got dark, gradually the rest of the shop emptied, until Solomon was the last one, half-asleep over his papers.

He’s not staying here again tonight, Teacup warned Vasya before they could suggest just letting the man rest.  I’m going to go wake him.

No, no, I’ll do it, Vasya gave her a stern glare, I know you’ll try to burn his work again.

She snickered, you know me so well.

Still, she followed behind them to puff out little black clouds of smoke to encourage Solomon to be quick about it.  Vasya tried to help him pack his stuff, but he brushed their hands away from the sharp things, which she did appreciate.  Too little too late, little man.

“Oh, well, goodnight, Solomon!”  Vasya smiled at him as he left, “see you in the morning?”

“Yes.  Goodnight, Vasya.”  He scowled over their shoulder at Teacup.  Had he noticed the new art on his shoes yet, she wondered?  But he was gone before she could ask.

“Well, that’s it for the day,” Vasya locked the door and went about collecting any garbage and dishes.  One of Solomon’s knives gleamed threateningly on the floor, but they just picked it up with care and placed it under the counter for safekeeping.  “Anything you want to do tonight?”

“Watch you eat dinner,” she said immediately, “and then maybe burn all of Auntie’s tea plants -”

“Ah, yes, destruction,” Vasya laughed, “I’ll go find something for you to burn, okay?”

“That would be nice.”

After they had finished that, and Vasya had taken their time tending to their garden, Teacup returned to her usual spot on their bed and waited for the morning.