Certain Doom Side RPs
A collection of side RPs taking place between DnD sessions
Author's Notes
Session 1: Dante and Alastor talk about the mess they are in with matching faces, play some cards, and learn a bit about each other.
Cousin
'Sus Dante' settles down by the fire, tired from the day and just having a rough time. It was so stupidly cold here. He hated it. He nibbled on his dried meat ration.
Dante scooted slightly away from the group speaking Elvish, uncomfortable with the looks they were getting. He glanced to... himself? Which was weird. And not really getting any less weird.
'So cousins?' he asked telepathically. 'Is that what we're going with?' Frustrating as the situation might be he wasn't all that keen on getting either of them exposed as magic users. At least whoever this guy was he seemed to understand the importance of that.
Sus Dante looks up, chewing slower on his ration
“To be fair, I was not expecting a family reunion. I was surprised to see you coming along the path.”, he said in a low tone so Dante could hear but not others. “I’m a bit embarrassed you caught me copying your hair style.”, he flips his hair a bit.
Dante's eyes narrowed suspiciously. He had no idea what to make of this guy, even after spending a day hiking up this gods forsaken mountain. As far as Dante could tell this imposter hadn't tried to kill him yet, which only seemed logical if you planned to impersonate someone. But given how this guy struggled to keep up he clearly wasn't much of a threat. Or maybe that was just what he wanted Dante to think.
"Yeah, wasn't expecting to run into you all the way out here either," he said aloud so that this other Dante didn't look too out of place talking to himself. 'Why me?' he asked him silently. 'What do you want with me?'
Alastor stretched a bit, his back was already hurting again. “I guess it didn’t have to be you I found. Uncle Gregory, Grandma Lu, I would have been surprised go see any of them. Did you come here all alone?”
Dante's usual resting bitch face tightened into skeptical confusion. It didn't have to be him? What did that mean? Was he saying it wasn't personal? If so that... would be a relief. Likely this wasn't related to Jac in any way then.
'Did you come here all alone?' It would be stupid for him to speak truthfully, but he was clearly alone given that he didn't stick close to anyone. Anyone except--
"No," he lied, gesturing over to the gnome wizard that had been following him around. "I'm travelling with her." This guy had no way of knowing any better right?
"What about you? Come here with anyone?" he asked, though Dante was pretty certain he knew the answer already. 'I don't want trouble. But if you try to pull something on me you're going to regret it. Understand?' he postured, but really he was way out of his depth here. He'd only been using magic a short while but apparently this guy had such skills since birth? If what he'd said was true how could he possibly compete with that?
Dante hated everything about this, but they were in a precarious situation surrounded by primarily humans in the middle of nowhere. If tension grew, as it likely may in such harsh conditions, he had no idea what might happen. Given the option between a group of humans that were strangers to him and a fellow magic user, face-stealer or not, he'd rather lean on the latter.
Alastor did not really believe him, but he also knew it was best not to make enemies with someone who could expose him.
“What you see is what you get.”, he gestured to himself. “I’m not really cut out for this wilderness bullshit, but everyone on this path seems to be running from something.”
Dante just stared at him judgingly for a minute, debating if he believed this guy. But his words did mirror his struggle to get up this mountain so Dante felt the impostors claims had some merit.
"Yeah I can see that," Dante agreed, unable to hid his amusement at this guy's lack of endurance. Not that Dante himself was doing much better.
Everyone's running from something? Interesting. That was true for Dante to be sure, but what kind of trouble had this guy gotten into? Did he steal some important guy's face? Oh well, likely it didn't make a difference all the way out here, and Dante doubted this guy would give him any answers if he tried to dig deeper. So he let it drop.
'What do I call you?' he asked. 'Can't be travelling with have a cousin and not know his name.'
“You first.”, he says as he shiver a bit. Even with a fire it was getting slowly colder. He even brought warm clothes for this and it felt as if they where not doing their job. Then again, he was a stick of a person.
Alastor ducks into his bedroll for a moment, popping back out after a few moments. He still looked like Dante, but he was no longer an exact copy. He had changed his eyes just a little, changed the shape and location of his scar, and made his hair just a little longer. Nothing anyone would really notice, but, enough of a difference they where clearly two separate people.
Dante raised an eyebrow incredulously. 'You first'? Sure, he could play along with that.
"What, you want to know what I've been up to? Sure, guess it's been a while," he began, glancing around to try to gauge if anyone was listening in without being too obvious. "I'm meeting someone on business on the other side of this mountain. Uncle Gregory said it was a death wish. 'Dante, you'll freeze your arse off up there, won't last a day,' he said. But you know how he is."
"So, how'd you wind up here?" he probed lightly. Obviously it was all a farce either way, whether this guy shared anything of value or not Dante wouldnt have much way of knowing what was real and part of the act. "Your gambling addiction get the best of you again?" he added, going off of this guys interest in cards, one of the few things he knew about the other.
“Not gambling this time. Card games, but yeah, I guess I just enjoy a good time a little to much”, he chuckled under his breath. Finding this whole thing a bit amusing.
“Had to switch up my name again. Told a cute girl my name was Alastor this time, and I think I like it a lot. Sounds fancy.”, he says. “She was a good lay though. Long red hair, these bright green eyes. And she was pretty wild.”
The sole Leonin of the hiking group sat alone to the side. With not much else to occupy his mind other than staying alert for danger, he picked out one morsel of conversation that caused his cropped ears to twitch. He began to wonder if people had taken notice of the wanted posters. Although this pass was notably dangerous, he was beginning to wonder if he could make it on his own. Maybe he could convince the Firbolg to deviate from everyone else, but that could prove difficult, seeing his enjoyment for helping the less fortunate.
Card games. Magic then? Were they still using that code word? Or maybe it meant nothing.
While his look alike--Alastor, apparently--answered Dante continued letting his eyes roam around the group casually. He glanced to the... lion man? It was difficult to judge his expression, Dante wasn't all that well versed in reading big cats, but he was clearly on the alert. Was he listening?
Dante was too distracted keeping an eye on the rest of the group to guard his expression, and grimaced at the oddly specific details about some lady this guy slept with. Was... this some kind of code? Or was this guy just one of those man whores that enjoyed oversharing their escapades? He glanced to 'Alastor' in an effort to judge what to do with this information, noticing for the first time that the face his doppelganger was wearing was no longer an exact reflection of his own. When had that happened?
After a moments consideration Dante decided he didn't know anyone with red hair and green eyes so he didn't need this information. "Yeah, sounds like you," he rolled his eyes, and then a thought crossed his mind. "You better not be roping me in on any trouble you get up to. Can't have some angry guy coming for my head cause you slept with his wife."
“It wouldn’t be the first time being ran off by the husband. But I can’t help it if ladies can not keep their hands off me. Or men for that matter.”, he gave a teasing smile and ran a hand across his own cheek. “I just have a irresistible face what can I say?”
He takes out his cards and shuffles them idly. “Wanna play a game?”
Dante's grimace deepened as Alastor commented on his 'irresistible' face that oh so clearly still resembled his own. Was this guy coming on to him? The fuck had Dante gotten himself into?
He kept his eyes trained on Alastor as he played with his cards, his suspicion growing. "What sort of game?" he asked, his voice serious and intimidating. Even without telepathically shooting him a threat, Dante's previous warning of 'not to try to pull anything' was evident in his tone.
Alastor continued shuffling, giving a small chuckle. “Just a simple game of cards. No funny business…”, he flips over the first card, it is a joker. “Oh that’s just bad luck”, he laughs.
He takes up the card and snuffles again, taking out the joker cards. “You seem just as paranoid as the last time I saw you. You should relax, otherwise you’ll get frown lines.”
Dante's glare tightened. 'You open up fast for someone who's been avoiding me all day,' he shot back. It was still weird communicating in this way, speaking directly into someone's head. At times Dante even questioned if it was working at all given he couldn't well hear any response in his own mind.
He watched suspiciously as Alastor laughed at himself while pulling the joker from the deck. The more time he spent with this guy the less he knew what to make of him. But they were supposed to be family, for now, so probably best to try to play along.
"A little paranoia is healthy. Keeps you alive longer," he insisted, but his posture grew more casual as he opened his own bedroll and draped it around himself for warmth. "What are be playing?"
When Dante mentioned opening up, Alastor just chuckled under his breath.
“Paranoia is toxic. Being vigilant and aware is what matters.”, he shuffled and gave Dante a few cards. They where black with a golden tree on them. Rather unique, the cards looked hand-made but not in a bad way.
“Just a simple poker. We don’t even have to bet..”, he looks up at Dante. “Hopefully… we will finish this pass without any issues.”
Dante's eyes were trained on Alastor as he handed over the cards, feeling just a bit more at ease with this mutual understanding. Part of him still held tight to the paranoia, convinced that this guy would would rob him of everything he had if given the chance. But stranded out here in the middle of nowhere as they were, dependent on the group for survival, even Dante had to admit such attempts would be a death wish. Surely it was in everyone's best interest to keep the peace.
"Hopefully," he agreed as he glanced down at his hand. All reds, primarily hearts, queen high. Not great, but maybe he could go for a flush.
"I'll take one," he said, removing the six of diamonds from his hand and sliding it back to Alastor in exchange for hopefully something better.
Alastor takes the card and gives him another back. His own hand was not the greatest, only having a ace high as he shuffles a few in. He wasn’t even cheating in this game.
“I wonder if there is even a point going north for people like us.”, he says idly.
Dante accepted the new card, surprised to find that when he turned it over it was not the heart he was hoping for, but not bad at all.
"Pair of queens," he said, revealing his hand and returning to to Alastor so he could shuffle and prepare another round.
"Why do you say that?" Dante asked, his eyes flashing in clear concern though he tried not to show it. He'd never travelled so far before, the majority of his life restricted to the small human village on the edge of civilization. Was there something waiting for them on the other side of this mountain he didn't know about? Could it be any worse than the witch-burning towns he'd left?
He showed his hand, having only a pair of twos. He took back the cards and shuffled them slowly.
“Well, it’s not really a secret in the family trouble always follows me. What can I say? It clings to me like a bad ex.”, he passes them out. He was surprised to see a pair of fives right off the back.
“I admit I’m afraid that one say I will run out of land to run to.”, he does not look up from his cards.
Dante watched Alastor as he tried to dissect what he was saying. Trouble always follows him? Was this of the magic variety like Dante's own troubles? Or something else?
"Sounds like you're pretty popular. As ever," Dante commented, tacking on the extra bit once remembering they were supposed to be familiar with one another.
"Though I find it hard to believe a guy like you could run out of place to hide," he said with a knowing look, clearly hinting at his magical shapeshifting abilities before leading the conversation in a more casual direction. "After all, you seem pretty good at finding yourself a warm bed for the night," he added with a hint of disapproval.
Dante accepted his new hand, but the only thing of note was a king. He traded in his other four cards, hoping for the best.
Alastor picks up on Dante’s disapproval of how he finds free lodging. Honestly, it saves a lot of money and offers a good night. Really a smart economic decision! None the less, Alastor was using every movement and word Dante said to get a read on him. It was what he did best, dissecting other people.
“The thing is, no matter what, all my plans always come down like a house of cards. I may be lucky to be beloved for my face, but I’m also favored by misfortune.”, he switched his own cards and got nothing better. He was really shivering now.
Luck was not on Dante's side as the hand he ended up with was not all that different from his hand at the start. He returned the cards--nothing, king high--and waited for another set.
He caught the slight twinge as Alastor shivered in his sleeping bag, drawing Dante's attention to how the chilly wind nipped at his skin despite the several layers of heavy clothes. He drew his bed roll more tightly around him.
Beloved for his face, huh? Wonder how often he swapped them out. Was that face when they first met, the blonde with the purple eyes, even his?
"Is it really so difficult for you to just blend in? Someone like you?" Dante asked, genuinely curious but at the same time judgmental. "I managed to get by in one town for some time without the uh... family curse catching up with me. Surely with your... 'talents', surely you could do the same."
He shuffles again “How about we make a bet this time. I win, we can sleep together for warmth like when we where kids, I know you hate being touched. But it’s cold as fuck out here. You win, well- I’ll tell you a secret. I know you love them.”, he shuffles the cards slowly
“I mean- sometimes I get mistaken for you which causes problems. Or I run into our other cousins and they don’t like me much.”, he says. He was careful about what he says, but, the cold was really getting to him.
"Wha--," Dante visibly flinched at the proposal of sleeping together until the rest of what the guy said caught up with him, though regardless his disapproval was apparent. Sure it was cold but at this altitude it was still tolerable enough. He didn't know Alastor, if that was even his real name. Who was to say this guy wouldn't stab him in his sleep?
Though the secret was admittedly enticing, assuming this guy could be trusted. Dante would not mind learning how it was he'd stolen his face. If he could somehow pick that skill up for himself given his newfound aptitude for magic it could turn out rather useful. And he'd been doing alright at their card game up until now, what was one more hand?
He clenched his jaw, debating. "Don't take this the wrong way cuz, but I heard about what happened at Aunt Patty's a few months back. Swiping her jewelry to make ends meet? How can I trust that you won't cross me too?" If any of his stuff was missing come morning he'd certainly know who to blame.
“Come now Dante. Aunt Patty had way to many rings, she was begging to be lightened a little. Besides, you’re my favorite cousin, I wouldn’t steal from you. And- we’re in the middle of nowhere so that would be bad for me regardless.”, he says.
“Is that a no then? Afraid you don’t know your stuff huh?”,
Dante raised his eyebrows incredulously at the mention of a 'favorite cousin', clearly not at all phased by this display. He would be stupid to agree, he knew that, but... it was true that he was desperate to find out whatever he could about these new magic powers he'd acquired. If Alastor could help him do that how could he justify passing up the opportunity?
"Fine, let's get this over with," he sighed, his fingers twitching where he held the sleeping bag tight in a manner that could easily be mistaken for shivering but was in fact from nervousness.
Alastor sets the cards up once more, using his skills this time. He knowingly deals Dante a terrible hand, giving himself four kings.
“It is not bad to be careful of trust. But you should also know how to weaponize it. It will keep you safe.”, he says quietly.
Dante's brow furrowed as he looked at his pitiful hand and then up at Alastor. "Weaponize it?" he couldn't help asking, feeling an odd sense of foreboding as he selected three cards to exchange for new ones.
The new cards gave him nothing new, it was immediately clear he had been played as Alastor sets down his four kings.
“It looks I won this round Dante.”, a smile crosses his face. “Tell me of your travels, I am very curious.”
Dante scowled, flinging the cards back in Alastor's direction, clearly bitter at having allowed this to happen. "Why should I? You're the one that promised me secrets, all I promised was body heat."
“You do not have to. Unless your travels are secrets”, he laughs as he collects the cards. He shuffles them and out them away, pleased to habe won this.
'Fuck you,' Dante glowered, still butthurt and embarrassed. "No wonder you manage to make enemies so quickly everywhere you go."
“That’s harsh, I have done nothing to hurt you. I’ve just been friendly.”, he says, putting his hand to his forehead in a dramatic ‘woh is me’ way.
"Whatever," he grumbled, more frustrated with himself than anything else. Between that wizard stealing his books and this doppelganger stealing his face he was learning very quickly he couldn't just go around relying on other magic users for anything. He'd gotten lucky with Jac, clearly. After so long of being persecuted for practicing, so long of having to tip toe around other people, he assumed other magic users would be different somehow. But it seemed they were just all out to use each other, or in the druid's case just had no sense of self preservation.
He would not go back on the bet, he'd agreed the terms and that was on him for imagining Alastor would play fair. But he wasn't going to be forthcoming about it either and remained bundled up in his own bedroll until prompted.
Alastor happily bedroll crawled over to Dante, snuggling up to him with way to much enjoyment. “See? It’s not so bad.”, he leans up and whispers. “You like coloring. Did you know items can come in all colors too?”
"What?" Dante said in a bored tone, too busy wallowing in his own self pity to bother deciphering whatever Alastor was trying to tell him. Why bother putting in the work to understand this code if he had no reason to believe what he was being told anyway?
Alastor ran a hand across his ring, but says no more. He settles down to sleep for the night. Deeply worn out by the day.
Dante waited a moment in silence to see if Alastor would explain further. But when the other remained quiet Dante made no effort to continue the conversation. Alastor's body heat was admittedly somewhat welcome against the cold, but his presence made Dante jittery and uncomfortable to the point where whatever comfort he may have gained from the warmth was lost by anxiety. He lied awake for some time until sleep took him.
Bixio, as well as others, noticed a commotion between the twin-like humans. Although he didn't like humans one bit, unfairness was something that bothered him deeply. He observed the two of them, and was surprised to see them get cozy with one another after such an interaction. It was unsettling and didn't feel right, so the cat growled under his breath, grabbed his halberd, and meandered over to the two.
The point of his blade sang as it rested in the snow and rocks above their heads, and Bix, the near 7ft Lion he was, towered over them. He peered down at the two Dante's with distaste, but crouched down so they wouldn't need to get up much. "Is everything alright here?" He asked with some impatience.
Alastor blinked awake, the moment he saw the lion and pulled his dagger out in reflex. “What the fuck do you want lion-man. We’re trying to sleep….”, he sat a little further away. Afraid the other might smell the difference between him and Dante or something.
As Alastor expected, Bixio did in fact notice a different smell between the two, though he wasn't sure if the other was an entirely separate species, or just from a different walk of life. Something about him smelled sulfuric and unpleasant though.
"I see you are trying to sleep." Bix turned his eyes to the other, raising a brow above his unscarred eye. The other's little dagger didn't phase Bixio one bit. It wasn't the first time a weapon had been held so close to him.
“So what? You get off to watching people sleep or something?”, Alastor said as he rubbed his eyes. He was exhausted.
Dante flinched, having only just barely started to fall asleep as the blade snagged on the rocks, his eyes widening at the lion man suddenly towering over them. "What the fuck!?" he exclaimed, sitting up and pushing himself away from the intimidating figure, trying to get his bearings.
Bixio ignores the human threatening him and spitting provocations, but was more so displeased with the other's reaction. Humans, such volatile creatures. "Pardon. You did not seem so keen with one another earlier, I felt as if something was wrong. I must have been mistaken." The temptation to bare his teeth and strike menace and fear into their hearts was strong, but this journey would not come easier if he were to do so. The last thing he wanted was to have everyone here turn against him. Why did the Firbolg get to get along with everyone, but Bix was met as an immediate threat?
“For fuck sake I’m not going to molest my cousin in the middle of a fucking camp in the mountains.”, Alastor said annoyed.
"U-uh..." Dante mumbled as he took in Alastor on his feet. "Oh, uh, thanks? That uh... thanks," he stuttered, still at a loss for what to say and afraid of the lion man standing over them that could easily rip his throat out probably if he wanted.
"But uh, yeah, I'm fine. He's-he's just an ass," he rushed to explain. "He cheats at cards."
“You can’t prove that.”, Alastor said quickly. But settled back down beside Dante. Leaning into him slightly as he put his dagger away.
"Maybe not, but I think I've known you long enough to know," Dante challenged, shaking his hair out and trying to compose himself before turning back to the lion man.
"But uh... thanks. Really. I appreciate it," he said, clearly embarrassed but wanting to thank the lion man for the gesture. He didn't know this guy at all and, honestly, he'd never experienced anyone coming to his rescue before other than Jac. He was more accustomed to assuming people didn't give a rats ass about him.
Bixio squints at Alastor, not liking him, but also not trusting the word of Dante either. However, their lies of being kin were undetected, and he fully believed they must be cousins. "Your thanks is unnecessary, I only wish to make it through this pass in one piece as the rest of us." He could have gone on, but Bix didn't care to waste any more breath on the pair of humans. Seeing as things were fine here though, he got up and returned to his own little fire on the side lines, curling his tail around his legs and curtaining himself with his own bedroll. Sleep would not come for him until the sounds of the camp quieted.
“That lion-guy definitely wants you cousin”, he says in a playful tone. He shivered for a moment before snuggling back up to Dante and laying down. “I’m going to become a sexy ice cube at this rate…”, he laughed lightly but it did sound a little sad.
"Fine by me cousin, if you do molest me in my sleep apparently I know who to call," he whispered back matter of factly, trying not to let his discomfort show as Alastor settled next to him again.
"If my body heat's not good enough for you, you can always take a stab and cuddling up with the big cat yourself. I mean we're practically identical," he said with a hint of sarcasm.
“It was not my intention to do so. Consent is important you know. Besides he’s the one who made it awkward…”, he rubs his eyes.
“Guess uh…. We have time….”, Alastor rolls onto his side to look at Dante. “Where did you get that shiner from?”
Dante raised an eyebrow and gave Alastor an appraising look, trying to reassess where his morals lied. Then again perhaps consent wasn't a particularly high bar or anything, but for a guy that went around masquerading as other people he just sort of assumed... well, he assumed Alastor wasn't the type to lecture him about consent honestly.
At the mention of his black eye Dante reached up to it gingerly, as if he could somehow cover it up. He debated for a moment, not really interested in sharing anything incriminating about himself with this stranger.
"Why should I tell you?" he asked, defensive. "What do I get out of it?"
“I can make it not so noticeable if you want.”, he drags out his disguise kit “You don’t have to tell me anything… I just thought it would be a nice chat. Are you running from who did that to you?”
Dante glanced at the disguise kit in bewilderment and back at Alastor. 'That is NOT how you made yourself look like me right?' he asked, convinced it was magic from the incredible likeness but had he been wrong? Was this guy just some crazy good performer?
“It’s just a kit. Wig, make-up, that sort of thing. It is not enough to change our glorious family look.”, he smiles playfully. Demonstrating his tugs on his hair, which is clearly not a wig.
Dante watched as Alastor illustrated how whatever he had done to his face was not the sort of thing the kit was capable of reproducing. Magic then.
He glanced at the kit again as he considered. "Thanks, but no. It wouldn't make a difference out here anyway," he said. Everyone in the group had already seen him, what point was there in covering it up now? And he wasn't particularly keen on letting Alastor touch his face and put god knows what on it. At worse maybe that cover up had poison in it or something. At best maybe he'd wake up with a crudely drawn mustache.
"And honestly I couldn't tell you how I got it if I wanted to. Don't remember," he said, which in all fairness was entirely true.
Alastor put away his kit with a small shrug. “Whatever you want Dante.”, he settles down once more, moving the various things in his coat around before he was able to do so.
“Maybe you ran into something or smacked yourself in the face from a nightmare.”
"Maybe," Dante repeated in a bored tone that made it clear he didn't really think that and was just humoring the idea.
He decided letting the focus stay on him wasn't at all what he wanted. If this conversation had been reopened he had some questions of his own. "You said you'd been uh... coloring, playing cards, whatever, you've been doing it a long time right? How did you... how's that work? Did someone teach you?" he asked, his question somewhat vague and open ended.
Alastor closed his eyes, his voice growing quieter. “I uh- am just more than I appear to be. I was born with the ability to color. To be honest, my mother was not really a good mother. It’s why I had to go off to grandma’s house. I had to learn to do everything alone.”, he doesn’t mind admitted. But is tone shifted to a more somber one the more he spoke.
Dante stared at Alastor while he tried to determine how much of this was true. Grandma's house? That was just part of the act right? But he looked weirdly... serious as he said it. Did that mean anything?
"I didn't hear about that," he said simply, still playing along. "I mean, you know about me going to live with Uncle Gregory dont you?" 'My parents colored--er, fuck, used magic, I mean. It didn't end well. So, ya know, I get it,' he said without speaking aloud, assuming the issues with Alastor's upbringing revolved around magic like his own. He figured this bit of information didnt make a difference. It was a long time ago.
"Was uh... was grandma better about it? The coloring?" he asked.
“Nah. She was dead when I got there. So after that I just headed out on my own. Not like I had the money to bury here or anything.”, he gives a small shrug.
“I just accepted a long time ago that the world is being forged to fit humans. And anything outside of it is seen as lesser. Like the lion-man, or the firbolg.”
Dante eyebrows twisted in shock and confusion, not entirely sure he knew what they were talking about anymore. Was the grandma not part of the act? "I'm sorry," he said simply, at a loss for what else to say.
Forged to fit humans? 'So... you're not human then?' he asked curiously, casually, clearly not all that bothered by the idea. 'That would explain a lot. Is that how you know infernal?'
Sus Dante rolls over, saying nothing more and just pulls the bedroll entirely over his head, disappearing into it.
Dante waited in silence for a moment for Alastor's response, but when it looked like he wasn't going to get one he continued. 'Look, for what it's worth, I meant what I said earlier. Humans are stupid, cowardly creatures that kill anything they're afraid of. It sucks. We don't have to talk about it, but frankly I'm more concerned about you wearing my face than whatever's under it. I'm not gonna tell anyone.'
“It is to late now.”, came from the bedroll.
Dante didn't say any more, clearly having crossed a line. As much as he wanted to know he let the conversation drop.