The Rules of Chess are Only Suggestions

The Lego Movie (2014) bounced across the park, carefully balancing a chess board on their back. They spotted Checkmate sitting at a picnic table with a neatly prepared lunch. Lego jumped on top of it, scattering rice and beans everywhere.

Checkmate glared at them. "Mine food was there," he said.

"I brought the chess board," they responded.

He brightened up at once. "Ah, so thou hath answered my calling! Excellent, excellent. We shall play at once!"

Lego shrugged off the chess board, which landed on the table with all the loose pieces in the correct starting positions. "You want to play as white or black?" they asked.

"An excellent question," Checkmate said, and proceeded to spend the next fifteen minutes trying to make a decision.

Eventually, they were ready to play. The Lego Movie (2014) picked up the king and moved it over a pawn. "I can do this," they said to the bemused Checkmate. "It's in the rules."

"Really!" said Checkmate. "And the rules are…?"

"Have you heard of Calvinball?"

Lego took out some tarot cards and dealt a hand to each of them as if they were playing poker. "Hm," they said out loud, examining their hand of all towers, "this is promising."

"This is complex," Checkmate said. "What now?"

"Place a card face down in defense position. Or attack? How many prize cards do you have?"

The game went on like this for some time, the chess board largely abandoned. Despite having no idea what game they played, Checkmate was a strong opponent, and with the jenga tower wobbling and the Lego Movie (2014) almost out of monopoly money, there was only one thing to do.

"Does thou have any towers?" Checkmate asked.

"Go fish," said Lego. "Do you have any kings?"

"I do indeed." Checkmate handed them the chess piece.

Lego smiled at him. "I win," they said.

Checkmate gasped. "What? Inconceivable! I was doing so well!"

Lego  gathered up all the game pieces and placed them on their back. "Yep," they said. "You were really good, though! I'm sure you'll be a chess master in no time."

"I demand a rematch!"

"Nah, I can only get the quest rewards once. I'm sure you'll find someone else to play with, though!"

The Lego Movie (2014) began to leave, only for the tower of materials on their back to sway back and forth before collapsing and burying them underneath it. A single tarot card fluttered in the wind and landed in front of Checkmate, who examined it with a frown.

"So that is what the cards foretold…"