Confession

Jensine sighed as she paced around the Fountain, face a vibrant blue shade as she tried her best to get her heart to stop racing. Many eyes had fallen on her by this point, no doubt wondering just what she was doing. Curious to her actions, and certainly wondering if she was planning something based off of her looks alone. Normally she would be far, far away from such a large amount of Eyes. But now… she could only shrug them off, and focus on her own inner conflict.

The thing is… lately, she couldn’t seem to keep her head clear. And naturally, she knew the reason as to why this was. She just didn’t want to believe it to be true. Unable to even fathom something this drastic was happening to her. But she couldn’t deny the sweet pain that filled her at the same time. She couldn’t just say these feelings weren’t there. There was no more avoiding them.

She… had fallen in love with another Eye of Ether.

The ghost girl had always somewhat dreaded this day. Love was supposed to be fun, and sweet, and fill others with such a joy unlike any other. But this was nothing like she’d expected. It hurt, even. She felt absolute dread at these foreign feelings, and wanted nothing more than for them to disappear for good. After all, she knew she was in for a great heart break. Purely due to who she had fallen for…

Sighing softly, Jensine sat herself down on the edge of the fountain and started fiddling with her chains, trying to think of the best course of action from here. Not knowing what to do was an understatement. She knew what her head wanted to do: to follow the advice she always gave others, and not run from her problems. But her heart wanted nothing more than to run away, and shove these feelings so far down they never saw the light of day again.

She just… didn’t want this… she didn’t want this heartache that was going to befall her…

“Jensine?”

Jensine sighed softly to herself as she heard the familiar voice, and stood up to face her fellow Dullahan: Sathe. She was not surprised in the slightest he was the first to approach her. She was well aware that she had been acting rather off lately; love would do that to a person. Of course, she also knew that if he was here, his friends Clelia and Enya couldn’t be far off. Regardless, she gave him a soft smile, and soon gave a response. “Hello Sathe. What is it?”

Sathe gave her a smile as well, one that was easily read. He was about to ask her what was going on with her, and she could easily see it on his face. She prayed and begged she was wrong, but her hopes were dashed when he sat next to her, and asked the dreaded question. “You’ve been acting odd lately. What’s going on with you?”

Jensine wanted in all to lie. To say nothing was wrong, and he had nothing to worry about. Or to just tell him that she didn’t know what she was feeling right now fully, or just anything to drive him away from the topic. She wasn’t ready to tell him… she didn’t want to get into this when she was still figuring out just what she was feeling. Just exactly how she felt, even if she silently knew already what the answer was… even if she was still denying the truth…

But… she couldn’t bring herself to lie to him. Besides, even if she didn’t tell him, she was certain Clelia and Enya would drag it out of her later. Two people of which, she also couldn’t lie to. So with a deep breath, she admitted softly. “I… um… I might, have a, crush on someone…”

Naturally Sathe’s interest was peaked with that statement, and his focus on her increased immensely. A natural response to just learning a friend of yours had a crush of course, but still. “Oh? On who~?”

Once again Jensine wanted to clam right up and not tell him. She knew what would happen if she did. After all, Sathe did NOT get along with the person she had a crush on. What would he say if she told him? These thoughts were spinning all around in her head, and she was certain he could see it on her face. Yet he waited patiently, and while she was grateful, a part of her… kind of hated it. She really couldn’t get out of telling him now after all…. So with another breath, she finally managed to speak the name of the person who had captured her heart. “… Malachi…~”

Sathe just… stared at her for a long moment to this confession, looking… not pleased, and confused. Like it was taking him some extended time to fully process just what she’d said. Of course, she had expected his. After all, Sathe… did NOT like Malachi. It was easy to see he did not approve of her crush on the Blue Eye.

“… THAT asshole??”

Jensine couldn’t help the snicker that left her, quick to cover her smile to keep from laughing completely. She didn’t know what she had expected him to say, but it wasn’t that. He was usually a lot more composed than that.

“Jensine, you can do SO much better!” Sathe continued to speak, hands now out in exasperation. “In fact I'm BEGGING you! It’s just a crush, you can get over this, I believe in you!!”

Jensine couldn’t help the small laughter that left her in that moment, trying hard to regain her composure. Honestly, why was he doing that? As if she had a choice! Crushes for Eye of Ethers didn’t just, disappear. It was only once they fell in love, and for life. Only in extremely rare cases did it happen again. If she’d had the choice in this, she doubted she’d ever have fallen for Malachi.

Thing is… because of her crush, she tried to figure out why she fell for him in the first place. Malachi was, by all reason, an asshole. He didn’t talk to anyone apart from his twin Grigori. He was rotten to the core in terms of morality, and he took pride in harming others. Normally Jensine would be disgusted by that, but observing it herself, she rather enjoyed seeing him enjoying himself to the fullest. And she didn’t understand why. Seeing him so happy, made her happy too…~

Not only that, but she knew he wasn’t completely rotten. His relationship with his brother proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt. Malachi definitely cared for Grigori, even if he’d never say it out loud. He took care of him for 20 years after that awful Despair Curse, and killed one of the Despair Bringers just to bring the red one some peace. He even tried to push through the fact he hated being touched so he could bring his twin comfort as well. Seeing that softer side to him, was something she wouldn’t hesitate to say she found endearing, crush or not.

Jensine could easily see why she fell for him, when she really thought of it. In some sense, they were rather similar. They both hated any form of touch, but pushed through it to help those they were close to. They both had no problem killing someone who hurt them or their loved ones. And they both had destroyed not only their own planets, but others as well. Granted, the one thing they didn’t have in common, was the fact that she didn’t take joy in bringing harm the innocent. But she most definitely had caused them harm, when she destroyed their planets to rid evil Eye of Ethers… and she couldn’t deny the rush she got in doing so.

It was no wonder she found herself drawn to that Blue Eye….

“… sorry Sathe.” Jensine finally spoke up, sighing mildly as she gave him a weak smile. “If I had my way… I wouldn’t have fallen in love at all. Let alone… with him. But… we both know, there’s no way around it now…~”

Sathe sighed as well, looking defeated for a moment before he gave a weary smile. “Yeah… I do know. Just… be careful, ok?”

The Ghost Girl nodded softly to this, and looked down at her hands as thoughts started rushing through her. She knew what he meant… as they had both confirmed, Malachi was… an asshole. He wouldn’t hesitate to break her heart, and she knew this. It was why she had refrained from mentioning it before hand. She thought if she shoved it down far enough, it would be fine. Even if if meant, not following her own advice…

“Jensine!”

Jensine turned quickly to hearing her name being called… and immediately felt her heart leap right to her thought when she found a group of Eyes coming up to them. Clelia and Enya, dear friends, and Enya being a lover to Sathe. Virus and Grigori, dear friend, and dear friends lover. And of course… Malachi.

This couldn’t be real… the timing was so damn rotten…

Clelia came right up to her, giving her a warm smile as she spoke up. “There you are! We were looking for you. Are you ok?”

“U-uh, yes, I’m ok…” Jensine stuttered softly, certain her face was bright blue. She knew what was going on, after all. They were trying to drag what was bothering her out. Of course, she did appreciate their concerns, but… with Malachi right across from her, she…

“Are you sure?” Enya asked gently, coming close and giving her a soft look. “You’ve been acting a bit strange lately… we’ve been worried about you…”

Ooh… Enya made it so hard to stay quiet… should she just, say it? Maybe she could admit what was going on but… not reveal who it was. She didn’t want to worry anyone here after all. Especially not Enya, honestly…

So with a deep breath- and a startled look from Sathe beside her- Jensine spoke softly. “Ok… the thing is, I… might… have a, c-… c-crush…”

Hoooo was that a mistake. Clelia have a slightly loud squeal in pure excitement, and everyone in the group- with the exception of Sathe and Malachi for obvious reasons- started to approach her. Jensine, backing up as they all got closer and closer, until she was backed up against the Fountains edge. Panicking, already feeling overwhelmed with how little space she had right now! The questions following didn’t help either. EVERYONE was asking who it was!!

Grigori had managed to get to the front of the group with Clelia, and he was asking with almost literal stars in his eyes from excitement. “Jensine, who is it? Who is it?! Who’s the lucky devil~?!”

“Give her some space!” Thankfully, Sathe stepped in for her, pulling Grigori back and gently having Clelia move back as well.

Jensine gave a sigh in relief to this, so thankful Sathe understood that she hated getting crowded like that. Having to sit down for a moment to catch her breath. That was awful… “… thank you…~”

“Jensine seriously. Who is it?” Virus asked, lowering his mask so he could give her a playful smirk. “You’ve never shown interest in people in general apart from us. Who caught your eye? Do we know them~?”

“Who is it?”

“Who is it~?”

“Who is it~?!”

Everyone was asking… Jensine was feel so overwhelmed. Her voice couldn’t raise itself above the group to quiet them, and Sathe couldn’t get them to listen. What should she do? Should she just run away? Open up a portal and just book it? Or heck- open a portal to the Spirit World knowing none of them would dare follow her there?! These thoughts just kept swirling around inside her head on repeat, when a loud groan managed to pull her from her conflict.

“Just say it already! God…”

That voice… that, annoyed voice that, was loud enough to hear, yet was clearly not actually meant to reach her ears because- talking. Malachi.

No doubt he hasn’t aimed that at anyone in particular, yet her sight fell on him immediately. He was just glaring to the far wall with his arms crossed: no doubt he would’ve already left by now if it hadn’t been for Grigori practically holding him here. He didn’t even seem to notice the crowd had silenced when he said that so they could stare at him in annoyance.

He… really didn’t care what people thought, did he…?

Jensine smirked softly, and stood herself up. Hands in tight fists at her side, knowing that she needed to follow her own words. ‘Don’t run from your problems…’ She needed to follow her own advice… for years, she hadn’t done so. She had run away from her problems for a long time… and there would always be one, she would always run from. But… she refused to run from this.

No matter what… no matter the outcome… even if her heart got stomped on, she had to face this.

Despite the look Sathe was giving her, Jensine approached Malachi, who now looked shocked she was actually coming up to him. She could feel her heart racing… the thought of a possible happy outcome filling her with the confidence she desperately needed. Giving her just enough strength to finally get out. “Its on.. you, Malachi.” She managed out, trying her hardest to keep her voice strong. “I like you…~”

It felt like the whole world had stopped in that moment. The Eyes behind her all fell silent, giving looks of utter shock to the sudden confession. Grigori’s expression, certainly the most humorous. She’d said it… she’d actually said it. She managed to tell Malachi she liked him. Her heart felt like it was about to burst as she patiently waited for a response from him.

And she got one. Exactly the one she knew she’d get…

Malachi burst into a cruel fit laughter, completely disregarding the looks of horror that had fallen on him. It even taking him a good few seconds to finally calm down enough to speak. “Yeah, no. Gross. Forget about it.”

Exactly the response she knew he would give. Even with knowing this… she also couldn’t deny the pain she felt as well. It had felt like she’d been shot through the heart with the coldest ice… even with the mental preparations, even with telling herself it would be fine, even with knowing he’d respond like that, it-… it still hurt. Like no other pain she’s felt before…

Regardless, the Ghost Girl gave a gentle smile, and turned away from him. Away from the crowd, as she spoke. “Yes… I thought that was the case. Sorry to trouble you, Malachi.” She was grateful no one could see her face, as she could no longer keep up her smile.

Or hold back the tears…

Without another word, she walked off. She could hear noise in the background. Such as… a harsh smacking sound, followed by a soft “ow” and Grigori shouting out. “Idiot! Couldn’t you have TRIED to let her down easy?!”

Certain the attention had been shifted from her due to that sudden outburst, Jensine started to run. Determined not to let her dear friends see her in this crumbling state. This… crumbling, sorry state that dared to consume her…

She could hear some calling her, following her… those voices, clearly belonging to Sathe, Clelia and Enya. They were all trying to get her to stop, saying that it would be ok, or that Malachi was an idiot or- anything, to make her stop. But she refused to hear it… she just, needed to get away from here. It felt like she couldn’t breathe-!!

With a swift movement, she opened up a portal and leapt right through, not taking any time to rush through the dim-lit forest around her. Shutting the portal, and pulling out a special Spell Tag from inside her wrist’s chain cuff. It was a special Spell Tag she made years ago, to keep Sterling and his sisters away from her and her dear friend… with it, it would keep anyone from portalling to her. Slapping it against the chains around her ribs, she kept running. Now with confidence, knowing no one would disturb her.

Till at last… the Ghost Girl reached the spot she was looking for. The cliffs edge, overlooking the sea beneath a full moon. This world was long since abandoned, so it was a perfect place for her to come to when she wanted to be alone. She had made it her own after… not the loss of her planet, but more like… the loss of her dear friend.

This was the part of the story she would never tell anyone, but… after her dear friend, Inky, had been freed from the Despair Spell, they got into a massive fight. Inky accused her of lying to them about their loss of time and what had happened during it, and she had never seen them since.

As such… she needed a place to be alone. Away from pity eyes in the Library. She made this cold, beautiful solitude forest her own. And right now… she needed it more than ever.

Panting, no longer able to stop the tears that started rushing down her face… she knelt down low. Arms around her knees, and letting out loud sobs. She wanted to make it stop, but… she couldn’t… whenever she cried, she couldn’t stop it. Everything she bottles up would come rushing out all at once, and she wouldn’t be able to move until she finally calmed down.

This… this day, was enough to break her to this point. It had been so long since she’d last cried, but hearing that from Malachi… in front of her friends, it-… it hurt her more than she wished it did. She had known from the beginning he’d react like that. She knew what he was like… that he didn’t care about other people’s feelings, that he wouldn’t return her feelings, that he wouldn’t hesitate to shoot her down harshly-… but it still bothered her… why did it have to bother her so much…?

At long last, she calmed down, and adjusted herself so she could sit properly at the edge of the cliff. Looking up to the moon, feeling the last of her tears slid down her cheek. She couldn’t help but wonder what she was going to do now… would she return to the Library? Face Sathe and the probable “I told you so”? Risk running into Malachi again? She didn’t know anymore… all she knew, was that he’d heart ached terribly…

Love was the worst…