Goodbye

With head bowed and eyes closed tightly, Kathryn took a deep, steadying breath.

God, she couldn’t do it.

She couldn’t give her child away.

Kathryn opened her eyes, a tear catching on her lashes. She turned her head to look at the small child nestled in the curl of her tail on the bed. Reaching out a webbed finger, Kathryn trailed the digit along the child’s smooth cheek, now devoid of Borg implants after months of visits to sickbay and more close calls than she’d like to admit.

They’d finally found the girl’s biological family.

She’d admitted to Chakotay late one night after all the children were in bed asleep that she hoped they’d never find them, that the baby could be theirs forever.

But it wasn’t meant to be.

Kathryn’s heart had shattered when Tuvok announced they’d discovered the newest crew member’s people. Her barbels had twitched in distress as the Vulcan looked at her with so much kindness and shared pain on his seemingly emotionless face.

They had no other choice.

They had to give her back to the family who’d lost her, searched for her, and ultimately mourned for the baby girl who had been stolen from them.

“You ready?”

Kathryn looked up.

It was Chakotay. Who else would it be? 

Peering around his legs were Amelia, Peppa, and Edward. They, too, shared the pain that was tearing at her insides - a pain she hadn’t felt since she’d undergone the evolutionary transformation that made her who she was today.

Kathryn nodded.

He gave her a tight smile, moved into her bedroom, and scooped into his large arms the little one who’d become as precious to him as his own daughters.

Holding the infant carefully with one hand, Chakotay reached out the other and gently pulled Kathryn to her feet. With a collective deep breath, the family of six began the long trek to the transporter room.

They were almost there when Edward tugged at Kathryn’s trousers. “Mommy, why does she have to go?”

Kathryn almost collapsed, right there and then. She crouched down and cupped her son’s cheek in her hand. “Because she deserves to be with her family.”

“But we’re her family!” Phillipa snapped as her emotions burst through her angry silence.

Kathryn looked over at her daughter. “I know,” she said quietly. “But so are they. They lost her and love her just like we do. This is the right thing to do.”

Phillipa clung to the bottom of Chakotay’s uniform jacket; her head twisted angrily away from her mother.

Kathryn sighed and stood to her feet.

They continued on.

In the end, it hurt as much as she had suspected it would. Her “ears” flapped mournfully as she watched the girl she’d come to love as her own was pulled out of Chakotay’s arms by sobbing strangers. They’d been grateful enough, but that didn’t ease the thick, heavy knot that had made a home for itself in her belly.

The reunited family was standing on the transporter pad listening graciously to the Doctor’s final remarks concerning the infant’s medical history when Kathryn felt Chakotay’s hand grip her own. She squeezed his fingers back in thanks. Her other hand came to rest on Amelia’s head which was pressed tightly against Kathryn’s leg in an attempt to hide herself from the proceedings.

It was done.

The blue lights faded away, and the pad was empty of any living being; their atoms rematerialized back on the surface of their planet as a family.

Kathryn tried not to choke on her tears, her tail sweeping to the side to press against Chakotay’s legs in desperate need of comfort.

“Goodbye….

…Rose,” she whispered.