Three Good Deeds

Hexanna cracked her knuckles loudly. “Alright, here we go.” She said under her breath. Then she carefully placed her hands in front of her. She tried to focus on the moment, on her magic, and what she was trying to accomplish. But the man standing in front of her, the one skeptically observing her every move, was wildly fucking attractive and it was throwing her off. Suddenly, the ground began to tremble. She heard an onlooker gasp. Hexanna flexed her fingers, then slowly brought the creature to the surface.

”Muffin!” The girl squealed. The little gextro snorted happily.

”Yup, there you go. One Muffin, freshly ah-risen.” Hexanna said.

”Wow.” The father said. “I’m… surprised that actually worked.”

”Don’t be.” Hexanna cracked her neck for effect, but actually managed to pull something. “I- uh ow, I am a pretty powerful witch so… y’know. Now the matter of the…” She wink-wink-nudge-nudged him.

”Yes.” He said flatly. “Here.”

Hexanna quickly counted the coins, then tucked the sack away in her hair.

”Fank you so so so so much, wady.” The other girl said, hugging her pet.

”You’re welcoming, cutie.” Hexanna ruffled her hair, then her father pulled her away.

”There won’t be any uh… side-effects, will there?” He asked. “It just seems like in the stories and everything, well there’s always a catch.”

”Nah, in actuality it’s not so complicated if you’re skilled enough.” The children and their mother played with the gextro. “I’d better get going, but if Muffin ‘goes to sleep’ again, hit me up. And if something happens between you and the missus-“

”Goodbye.” The man led his family away.

Hexanna shrugged and headed back into the forest. Her business was finally having some success in this village. At least there seemed to be less pitchforks here. She actually had three, count ‘em, three, jobs to do this afternoon. Muffin was number one. She mental crossed him off her list. Next, she had a consultation with some local farmers about their poor harvest. It only took about ten minutes to walk through the village and out towards the fields.

She found the dextro standing around looking sadly at the plots of dry soil. “Are you the… plant whisperer?” One asked as she approached.

”That is what they call me.” Hexanna replied. Before anyone else could speak, she put on her best thinking face and started hmmm-ing. “I see… uh huh… yes of course. So, I’ve gathered that your land hasn’t been producing well this year.” She said.

”Uh, no, that’s why we called you.” Another replied. The farmer trio looked at each other.

”Do you… have some kind of advice?” The first one asked.

”I think so. Do you have a watering can I could borrow?” Hexanna asked.

”Sure.” The first farmer nudged the man beside her, then he ran all the way to house and back, while Hexanna and the other two stood in awkward silence. Huffing slightly, he presented the can to her.

”Alright, now I’m gonna need some water.”

The farmers exchanged glances again, then the young man took the can back, and returned to the house to fill it up. Hexanna shifted while they waited. Tired from his first trip, the young farmer took his time coming back.

”Okay, so what your crops need is some of my patented wonder fertilizing mixture.” She said. “Just take a bit of this paste.” Hexanna bent down a removed the jar from her bag. She took some of the mud out with her fingers, then swirled it into the water inside the can. “Dissolve the paste into water like so. Then find the problem areas and apply a healthy dosage of my mixture.” She danced around for a moment, haphazardly dumping water onto the ground. “Now you try.”

The farmers stared at her for a moment, then the older man cautiously accepted the can. He sprinkled some of the water around.

”No, no, you gotta like-“ Hexanna flung her arms around. “Get into to it. The plants need to feel your efforts.”

Reluctantly the man did as he was told. Hexanna made the others take turns as well. She nodded sagely the whole time, keeping part of her hand in front of her face to cover her grin. “Yes… the plants are happier already.”

”So when will we see the results?” The woman asked.

”Should be fairly quick.” Hexanna said. “Everyone! Get down and look for signs of growth. Go on, hurry!”

The farmers all got down in the damp soil and studied the shriveled up little leaves. While no one was looking, Hexanna waved her hand over a nearby plant. “Aha! Progress!” She shouted.

The farmers swarmed the plant, which was now twice as green and three times taller than it’s neighbors. “Well, I’ll be darned.” The old man said.

”And now over here!” Hexanna said, making them crawl and stumbling quickly through the mud to see the progress. She repeated this several times, making the farmers hurry about. “I think…” She paused and pretended to listen. “Now I think we should do a treatment over on that patch, then everything will be happy and prepared for a bountiful harvest.”

”Sounds great!” The farmers said, looking around at all the healthy plants.

”First, we’re gonna need more water.” Hexanna handed the can back to the young man. They went though the entire thing again, the farmers much more energized and eager to participate in the process. Watching them hop merrily around the field was almost payment enough. Almost. While they were distracted, she went ahead and cast a larger scale spell over the field. Slowly but surely, the plants began to grow. “And my job is done.” Hexanna said dramatically.

”Well thank you, miss plant whisperer.” The young man said.

”Yeah, looks like the family farm may have a few good years left.” The woman replied.

”Do you think we could have the recipe of yours?” The older farmer asked. “It’s quite the little miracle and-“

”Sorry, proprietary stuff. You understand.”

”Oh.”

”I guess I could sell you the jar thoug-“

”Yes, yes, that would be great!” The woman said. “How much for the whole thing?”

”Mm, an extra twenty-five percent.”

”Deal!” The woman pulled a fat coin purse from underneath her hat. “Herbert, gimme some more.” She said. The young man passed her some coins, which she squeezed into the pouch. “Here you go. Thanks again, plant whisperer.” She said a bit giddily.

”No problem. Just remember the mixture is best for one year. Next time around there will only be residual effects.” Hexanna said. Technically, this was true. She had healed their current crops, but she couldn’t well do much about what they’d plant next year. But the soil was healthier and that should help. Probably. She left them to admire their revitalized crops.

Another one done. Sure, she had turned a five minute project into a two-hour affair for her own enjoyment, but wasn’t laughter, in fact, the greatest reward of all? No, it was money. There was no ignoring that as she listened to all the coins jangling in her hair.

She had one more stop on her list. Hexanna wandered further outside the village. There weren’t many signposts out here, making it difficult for outsiders to find their way. She couldn’t help but feel that was the point. Eventually, she spotted an cutesy cottage tucked back within the trees. It was painted abble red, with heart cut outs in the shutters and in the white picket fence. The flower boxes were overflowing with vibrant blooms. Outwardly, it was the most nauseating and least haunted looking house she’d ever seen.

Hexanna stepped onto the “home sweet home” mat and knocked on the door. Moments later, an older woman with a beehive hairdo opened up. “Finally!” She said, grabbing Hexanna’s arm and dragging her inside. “Dear, the paranormal specialist is here.”

”Yup, that’s me. So what seems to be the problem here?”

”We’ve got…” She looked around. “Ghosts.” She whispered.

”What’re we talking, floating candelabras or wailing in the hall or-“

“Worse.” The woman said. Without explaining or beckoning her to follow, the woman scurried away. Hexanna followed anyways. They came into the kitchen. The entire thing was green. Emerald peeking through strips of paint on the cabinets and dripping down onto the counters.

”Ah the cabinets-“

”They’re bleeding.” The woman whispered. She went to stand beside her partner.

”Mhm. I’ve seen this before.” Which, again, was technically true. It was shitty quality paint haphazardly slapped on top of another old paint. The old paint, which was a horrible shade of green, was slowly creeping its way through all attempts to conceal it.

”Can you help us?” The second woman said. She was holding a tray of cookies in her mittened hands. The oven mitts and apron matched the exterior of the house perfectly.

”I can banish the spirits, so they’ll stop fuc- messing with your kitchen.”

”Thank goodness!”

”Can you start now?” Beehive asked.

”Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Hexanna dug around in her bag for a moment. She pulled out a baggy full of weeds, a lighter, and a children’s novel with the cover painted black. First, she lit the bundle of weeds and waved them around the room. Then she took out the book and began uttering nonsense.

”Black magic.” Cookies whispered.

Hexanna waved the foliage around until it was nearly burned out. Then she dropped it in the sink and doused it with water. The whole kitchen stank of burning grass. Hexanna coughed. “These spirits are strong.” She flipped through a few pages. “Obba goobba strudellous abblini!” Hexanna subtly created a glowing ball of light in her palm, then dropped it on the floor. It burst, sending waves of light across the floor, before dissipating dramatically. The women gasped. “I think…” Hexanna panted. “They’re gone.”

The women looked around. “It certainly feels lighter in here.” Beehive said.

”You’ll have to repaint the whole kitchen with a special method. I’ll give you some instructions.” Hexanna scribbled down instructions for properly repainting their cabinetry.

”Thank you so much.” The cookie woman said.

Beehive nodded. “Yes, thank you.”

”So uh, that’s about it.”

”Mhm.”

Hexanna stared at the women. “Oh, Deedee, I think she would like some money.” Beehive said.

”Oh… money.” Her partner said. “Do we have any money for her?”

”I’m not sure.” Beehive pulled out a change purse and slowly began counting out coins. She scooped the pile into her hand, then passed them to Hexanna. “There we go, dear.”

Hexanna counted the coins in her palm. It was about a third of what she’d asked for. She started to say something, but she hesitated. She hadn’t really done anything but give them peace of mind. “Thanks.” She said. “You uh mind if I have one of them cookies?”

”Oh, help yourself!” Deedee offered her the tray.

Hexanna grabbed a small stack. “Alright, just make sure you follow that list perfectly, and you’ll be ghost free forever.”

”Thank you. We really appreciate it.” Beehive said. She walked Hexanna out.

Hexanna munched her cookies as she headed back into town. The coin purses in her hair were pleasantly fat, but Hexanna was itching to slim them up a bit. She went to the general store and made a few small purchases. Hexanna drank her purchase as she walked to the B and B where she was staying. The owner gave her a disapproving glare when she came barging in.

Hexanna skipped up the stairs to her room. What a good day. Making old ladies happy, saving some farmers family legacy. Not to mention reviving a family pet. Sure, he’d need a weekly dose of rare shrooms, to keep his body from decomposing around his beating heart, but little Muffin would probably live until his owners were great-grandparents. Hexanna narrowed her eyes and sipped her drink more slowly. She did remember to tell them about the rare, red and green speckled mushrooms that were key to Muffin’s recovery… right? Hexanna shrugged. She was like eighty-five percent sure she had, so that was good enough. Still, she should probably plan to leave town by Friday at the latest.