[RP] Bad Habits

Frecklecall perked her ears as she lifted her head from her paws, the familiar voice of Robinsplash catching her attention from her lazy sunning only a few strides away from Snakeclan's camp. If the she-cat was alone or with another cat, Frecklecall couldn't bring herself to care as she caught sight of her estranged and injured friend. It was almost as though internal borders separated them no more, her body moving faster than her brain as she rushed toward the she-cat, long limbs making the travel swift, even if there wasn't much distance between them.

“Robinsplash..” Frecklecall's voice is a soft hiss as she glares at the other, almost angry with the fact she'd been dumb enough to get herself injured, orange eyes scanning over the calico she-cat instinctively. “What the fuck happened to you? You look like fox shit.” The molly states, her head shaking because... Ugh, why in the name of Starclan should she care what happened to Robinsplash? She gives a glance towards the other’s face, pelt bristling with a mixture of embarrassment, annoyance, and concern.

She'd gone and let herself get hurt, which was possibly one of the dumbest things she'd done in a while. It was most likely due to the fact that she generally overworked herself day in and day out, never allowing for any time for rest — mostly, because she didn't want to be stuck with her own thoughts. Robinsplash was usually plagued with nightmares whenever she wished to drift off, and because she wanted to avoid these as much as possible, she wasn't giving herself the necessary time to rest. It had all come and bit her in the ass.

Now she was stuck in camp, with strict orders to rest, which meant no hunting duties or border patrols and the like. This just made everything worse. The molly knew that it was obviously best for her to sleep but she didn't want to, she didn't appreciate having to relive the awful moments where she completely ignored Lioncry the last time she saw him or the huge dispute that she'd had with her best friend, Frecklecall. It was all too much to bear and she wanted to just forget it.

Speaking of Frecklecall, was she daydreaming again? There were often times when Robinsplash was having a particularly rough time that her inner thoughts were actually voiced by Frecklecall, which was very jarring and off-putting, to say the least. It was enough having to deal with guilt without pause, but to also have all of your doubts voiced by the very cat that cut you off? Ouch. The voice came again, and this time Robinsplash knew she wasn't imagining it.

There was a slight hiss in Frecklecall's tone and Robinsplash blinked a little as she adjusted to the initial shock that she was, in fact, being directly addressed by her former friend. What the hell did she want? She looked up and met the other molly eyes directly, with a cool distance in them. “Well, nice to see you too, Frecklecall. If you've only come to insult me, I'd really appreciate it if you'd just back off.” Robinsplash was too tired for this, too emotional, too... fed up.

Squinting her eyes at the calico she-cat as she walks toward her, Frecklecall has to suppress the urge to roll her eyes and glare at the molly, trying her best (which wasn't very good, to begin with), to be hospitable as Robinsplash looks to her. Frecklecall tries to ignore the way her fur is rubbed wrong as Robinsplash gazes at her with a moment of surprise until agitation quickly crosses her features. “Yeah, well, happy to see you too,” Frecklecall grumbles with a shake of her head. “Not my fault I'm just stating the facts here,” The spotted molly continues, and then gives a glance to the side, scuffing her left paw against the ground.

A gentle groan escapes the molly as she flicks her tail uncomfortably behind her. “Look, I'm sorry— I... I always have been bad with words—” She hesitates before looking back to her former companion, her former friend, and feels a strange but familiar fluttering of butterflies in her gut that she tries her damnedest to ignore as she attempts to win the favor, at least for the moment, of Robinsplash due to her genuine concern. “I just... Ugh. Are you okay? You look like you had a run-in with something bad, and... I know I'm the last cat you want to talk to, but... If you need help or... Whatever... Then I can offer it. I guess.”

Watchful eyes scrutinised the molly in front of her, and Robinsplash felt her annoyance slowly dissipate. While there was still a part of her that wished to berate Frecklecall for the sharp words that she spoke that day, she just didn’t have the energy... and, quite frankly, she missed her. Robinsplash wanted nothing more than for them to be close once again, to hang out together and tease each other for something or other. A dry laugh escapes her, and she raises an eyebrow at the cat in front of her, before responding, “Yeah, well, I suppose I’ve looked better.” Fortunately, her wounds had been patched up expertly and she wasn’t bleeding anymore — not that she’d been bleeding much in the first place. Her injuries were more mental rather than physical.

She was amused, to say the least, at watching Frecklecall having to squirm at trying to talk to her. It felt... she wasn’t sure how it felt, to be quite honest, but at least it was something other than bitterness and anger. If Robinsplash had the mind of being completely truthful, she would’ve just told the other warrior to just shut up already and lay down with her so they could share tongues and talk just like they’d used to. Although, so much time had passed... the air between them just felt strange now, and Robinsplash wasn’t even sure what she was supposed to say any longer. It felt too late to apologise for everything, but also so fresh that it hurt to think about. Whatever that big argument had been about, though, didn’t stop the fact that she was happy to see the molly. It felt nice that she still cared enough to come and check on her.

With a soft sigh, she smiled at Frecklecall, “Thanks... I’m fine — really — but Pinetail has told me I have to rest. Somethin’ about overworking myself.” She scoffed at this, rolling her eyes.

The comment leaves her mouth before she can think about it. “Yeah, well.. I think you always look nice,” And then her face is hot underneath her fur, making the molly scrunch up her nose a little. Their conversation was feeling strange, it... shouldn't feel like old times, like she was talking to her friend and their fight had been resolved— and the butterflies in her stomach only worsened with each movement and word from Robinsplash. The twinkle in her eye, her amused smile, her laugh, even if it was dry.. “Look a lot nicer when you aren't angry with me, too.”

Frecklecall shrugs her shoulders a little at the other, but becomes quiet and still when Robinsplash begins to explain a bit about needing rest. Frecklecall can't help but wonder if the other she-cat is feeling the same way she is right now, though.

“Something about overworking yourself?” Frecklecall questions with an amused voice, her ears perking and eyebrows raising as she inspects the molly a moment more before her tongue slipped mindlessly, yet again, with her opinion and concerns on Robinsplash as a whole. “Well, yeah, clearly- you're working like you're made of a boulder or something, Robbie,” The grey she-cat states with a scoff. “No one ever sees you round camp less you're with Beaversnap, and you always come back looking so damn exhausted. I can't help but wonder if you even get sleep... Which, speaking of rest, shouldn't you be in camp? Under Pinetail's orders or whatever?” The thought of the Medicine Cat's Den and the cat within it caused Frecklecall's pelt to prickle with unease. It wasn't that she'd blame Robinsplash for wanting out, but.. “How'd you even get that wound?”

The molly can’t help but feel shocked at Frecklecall’s comment. I always look nice? Robinsplash repeated in her mind, and her shoulders became tense. Did... did she really just say that? The warrior could feel the fur around her neck and cheeks heat up, and she tried her best to look as natural as possible. Even what she said next didn’t deter her. Robinsplash knew it was a joke to try and lighten the mood, even to make it feel a little less awkward — and it worked. A little. Perking her ears at the other warrior, she titled her head and replied sarcastically, “Hard not to be angry when I’ve got to look at you when I’m talking. Maybe I should just stare at the wall over there, much easier on the eyes!”

She made a show of it, pretending to suddenly be blinded by a bright light of some sort, shielding her gaze and squinting heavily at the rock only a couple of tail lengths away. Keeping things light was probably the best course of action, although after she finished this little tease, her chuckles began to die down a little awkwardly. It was hard to act like everything was normal, but maybe... just maybe, she could move past everything and forget the argument ever happened if they could just go back to the way they were. Before they fought. Before Lioncry died.

Her ears pulled back just a smidge as the other molly called her by ‘Robbie’. It’d... been a while since she’d been called that — no one else apart from Frecklecall used that nickname, so it was almost unrecognisable to her. At the mention of her littermate, she avoided Frecklecall’s gaze, speaking quietly, “Oh, Beaversnap...” Robinsplash didn’t have much else to say. What was there to say? It made her fur prickle to speak out against her family, and she could feel her stomach drop at the very thought.

Latching onto the very next topic couldn’t even help matters much, either, because the truth was: she didn’t get much sleep. Every night she suffered from nightmares and rather than keep waking up her fellow warriors with her persistent fidgeting and panicking, she’d instead taken to overworking herself so much that she was too exhausted to even dream. The molly didn’t reply, not wishing to admit that she couldn’t sleep, even though she wanted to so badly.

At the mention of her wound, she looked back to check, as if she hadn’t even realised that it had happened. Peering back up the Frecklecall again, she explained, “It was pretty stupid, actually... I, um, was trying to fish to get some prey for the Clan.” She paused, her cheeks warming once again as she became increasingly more embarrassed. “I was by the river when I spotted a suitable fish in the water, but I was so exhausted that I began to doze off. Long story short, I fell. Like an idiot.”

She didn’t mention that she was specifically fishing because she always did that when particularly missing Frecklecall. Such things she would take straight to StarClan because admitting something like that was embarrassing and, knowing Frecklecall, she’d only get teased for it. Robinsplash could already feel the laughter that would result from her confession — who wouldn’t laugh at someone falling over? It was hilarious. But... what with her nights being terrorised by nightmares and, you know, the whole ‘I haven’t had a full night's sleep in moons’ thing, Robinsplash didn’t find the situation all that funny.

Rather happy that Robinsplash didn't push her previous comment for further context, Frecklecall's smile visibly tugs her muzzle up further as the she-cat begins to act.. More like how she used to, even if there was a gnawing feeling that they should resolve things, that they should speak still clawing at her gut. But the other part of her... Just wanted her friend back. Maybe avoiding things, at least, for right now, would temporarily fix their problem... As selfish as it may sound to those outside of their situation, Frecklecall just enjoyed Robinsplash's company greatly, and this felt like the first bit of normalcy the spotted warrior had in months. She missed this, more than she could describe to Robinsplash.

Frecklecall watches the other she-cat lay her ears back and look uncertain of herself, with a gentle mumble about her brother. As much as the spotted grey warrior wanted to poke at the subject solely due to her strong dislike of the tabby tom, she also didn't want to ruin this moment- no need to pry into the deeper stuff and start an argument with Robinsplash when they were already having a pleasant, but shaky and weak conversation with one another. One that could fall apart underneath her paws and crumble any sense of normalcy either of them had in terms of their friendship in seconds. Frecklecall felt that wasn't a risk worth taking, not one bit.

Watching the calico molly with a look of interest, Frecklecall tilts her head to the side before giving a snort, and then a gentle laugh that didn't really match her mood and died down quickly as Robinsplash explained the predicament she had been in with her solo fishing trip. Frecklecall always thought that they worked better together, so she wasn't surprised to hear the molly struggled... But Robinsplash also proved her earlier point about needing sleep with the silly explanation, and the thought gnawed worry into Frecklecall's heart.

“Well, from what I'm hearing, Pinetail was right to tell you to get some damn sleep. Which... Speaking of... We really should get you back to camp and into your nest. You're no good to anyone if you're collapsing on the job because you refuse to rest and you nearly drowned yourself,” The spotted molly tries her hardest to encourage Robinsplash, although something told her that the calico would continue to be stubborn, as Frecklecall has always known her to be. “I mean, shit, it doesn't even have to be camp if that's the issue. You just... Need to get some rest, if not for anyone else, then yourself. These times have been hard.”

Feeling more grateful than she should at the lack of laughter coming from Frecklecall’s end, she found herself nodding in agreement. She knew that she had to go to sleep, not only because it was negatively impacting both her health and her duties, but because she had to try and get rid of the nightmares at some point. Despite this, she just... didn’t know how. It wasn’t for lack of trying — her unhealthy habits had been learnt over time as an effort to try and combat the night terrors, but this was only a temporary fix. The method she has been using had completely backfired and Pinetail was now more frustrated than ever about what she was doing to herself.

Shaking her head softly, she confessed, “Camp isn’t the problem.” Shuffling uncomfortably, her tail began to flick around behind her as her anxiety increased. It felt so personal to divulge something like this to Frecklecall just now, especially because she’d been keeping it to herself for so long. “The truth is... I can’t sleep. I want to, I do but I just... the nightmares don’t let me get a good enough sleep and, after a while, I just kind of gave up even trying. Working so much helped, at least for a little while — I usually came back so exhausted that they didn’t wake me. But, as you can see, that hasn’t been working so great.”

It was better if Frecklecall believed these nightmares to be linked to Lioncry. In actuality, they’d actually started when the two of them had their big fight... she wasn’t entirely sure why they were reoccurring. Maybe it was just a combination of everything at once, or perhaps she just had codependency issues. Whatever it was, Robinsplash knew that they had to stop. She was so tired with everything, though, that she had begun to get lost in her own mind. Her despair was evident on her face, and her eyes drifted down at the moss nest she was currently laying on, and her paws began to fidget with it. There seemed to be a question on her lips, and it hung in the air silently and uncertainly: What should I do?

Frecklecall surprised herself with her patience today, but perhaps that was patience she always reserved for Robinsplash and never really noticed until... Well, now. The molly furrowed her eyebrows as she watched Robinsplash's face, trying to discern what the calico she-cat was thinking as a heartbeat of silence fell between the pair of old friends. She isn't surprised when Robinsplash tells her that camp isn't the problem, even considering the fact that Robinsplash's siblings were now coming closer and closer to moving into the Warrior's Den. Fast-growing apprentices, her nightmare, and probably Robinsplash's, too.

But Frecklecall doesn't want to make assumptions and sour the air that's begun to relax between them yet again, not when it's Robinsplash's turn to shift anxiously on her paws, and look uncertain of herself. Robinsplash looks vulnerable, and Frecklecall hasn't seen that vulnerability from her in a long, long time. If she had, moons ago, it was rare and fleeting, because times were far different back then. Lioncry was alive back then, and Lioncry seemed to have an answer for everything, no matter what.

So Frecklecall tries to fill that hole for just a moment, be the cat that listens and puts herself in the paws of her former mentor. Lioncry would listen and offer advice in this situation, right? She could probably do something similar, she'd... Already been doing it anyways. Frecklecall just had the feeling that she needed to be a bit more careful with her quick tongue than usual. And for Robinsplash, she would sure as hell try to be. “Well... Maybe you need to brainstorm somethin’,” Frecklecall suggests as the molly's face fell into one of despair, and... Her plan is dropped quickly.

With a swipe of her tongue on her muzzle to try and soothe her own anxieties, Frecklecall reluctantly reaches a paw out to Robinsplash, brows furrowing, face becoming softer than usual. She hopes that Robinsplash won't view her kind gesture as pity. She desperately hopes that Robinsplash will forget that they're still in the middle of an unresolved fight and... That Robinsplash will let her be her friend for just a moment if nothing else.

“You clearly got something on your mind. So you should just tell me while it's there before it drifts off like a cloud or whatever bullshit Lioncry used to say,” Frecklecall mews with a passive wave of her paw, but she gently rests her left paw on top of Robinsplash's own, flattening her tufted ears back. “Look, I know I'm not your favorite cat right now.. But.. If you want to talk with me, if you want to let me in on your thoughts for a minute, just... Do it, okay?” Pushing Robinsplash to talk the last time they had a meaningful conversation had been nothing short of a disaster, with hurtful words and glares thrown at each other with the intention to cause pain and invisible wounds that would scar over and heal with time.

Brainstorm? Robinsplash thought for a second. Yeah, maybe... but she wasn't even sure what could work. If it was something as profound as facing your inner demons and whatever nonsense that all was, then she didn't want any part of that. She was doing just swell without having to think back on all her mistakes, thank you very much, and she'd like to keep it that way. Her thoughts are interrupted as she feels the other molly's paw lay softly over her own, and Robinsplash is too shocked to say anything. Her stomach begins to flutter, and she isn't entirely sure if she enjoys the sensation or not - is she going to be sick? This is much stronger than the usual butterflies. Blinking slowly, she looks up at Frecklecall, a glistening in her eyes as she holds back tears.

The mention of Lioncry made her heart ache, and there was a lot of strain in her voice when she next spoke aloud, “Yeah, he would say something like that…” It felt so strange that he wasn’t here, even though he’d been gone for so long… Robinsplash’s younger siblings were already warriors now, and it was almost frustrating how much time was passing and how normal everything seemed to be returning to. It was exhausting having to keep things the way they were, though, and Robinsplash had so much guilt regarding the idea that she was… starting to become fine. Gradually, she was becoming okay with the concept that Lioncry was no longer here, and would never come back. She wanted to admit such things, but she just wasn’t ready to confide in the molly again just yet. They weren’t back to normal at all…

Shaking her head, she pulled her paw away gently from Frecklecall, now avoiding her gaze. Quietly, she began to speak, “I’m… I’ll figure it out.” She said softly. Robinsplash didn’t want to tell her to leave, to say that she didn’t need Frecklecall… but everything wasn’t going to just fix itself like that. What she really wanted to say was: stay with me. But she just couldn’t bring herself to say it— she didn’t want to have to ask Frecklecall to do it, to want to stay with her and help her chase the nightmares away. Wanting to show that she wasn’t pushing her former friend away, but that she just needed a little more time, just a fraction before she could show that truly vulnerable side again, she smiled at the other molly gently. “Thank you, Frecklecall. I appreciate you coming here, and trying to help.”