Chrysonice Jeopardy!

“From Zoruopolis Productions… this is Jeopardy!”

I, Velouria, stood behind the curtain as the announcer, Amry, introduced the contestants. I was wearing a glittering silver dress with a gray gradient. I had to borrow some reading glasses from one of the producers of this game show so I could read the cards correctly, but it was also because the producer said it would make me look attractive which I really did not comprehend in time.

The first contestant they introduced was my apprentice, Chris the Zorua, looking as bright and joyful as ever. He waved to the studio audience. It was a good call for the producers to give him a tall stool to stand on so everyone could see him, including me.

The second contestant was Glodis. They were an alien that escaped their home planet of Globarb. They wore a jester’s hat with bells and had five tentacles for legs. For being a “Globarbian”, they looked more like an anthropomorphic octopus.

The third contestant was Zex, leader of Hell. Normally, I would have opposed such a decision to include her in this competition, but this was a request from the producers once again. Chrissy the Zoroark, Chris’ big sister, was vehemently against this move, but producers are going to produce entertainment for their viewers and I cannot blame them. It was good that Chris and Zex were the furthest apart from each other on the podiums.

“And now, here is the host of Jeopardy… Velouria!”

My cue! I walked out onto the set and greeted the studio audience. “Thank you, Amry!” I gave a thumbs-up to the Spirit Keeper-in-Training, and he gave me a smile in return. I continued talking. “Welcome to Jeopardy. Today, we have a fun show for you all! We have brought three of Crystalga’s most well-known faces to join us for a round of giving questions to answers.”

“Get on with it!” Zex yelled at me, disgruntled.

I groaned and pointed to the LED category board. “Here are the categories for the normal Jeopardy round. Our first category is ‘Sigh-ence’”.

“What’s that?” Chris asked.

“Science-related questions involving letters in the word ‘sigh’.” I answered. Glodis rang the buzzer.

“Who is leader Sidolgus?” Glodis answered to me.

“Glodis, the game has not begun.” I explained.

“It should have started a few minutes ago!” Zex yelled to the studio audience. I was being tolerant of the actions of these three. Chivalry was not their style, but I had to get the game going as soon as possible.

“Fine,” I said to the group. “Forget explaining the categories. Let us begin the game. Chris, you shall go first.”

Chris nodded and said, “I’ll take ‘Closing The Book On Us’ for two-hundred, Goddess Velouria!”

The clue revealed itself on the board. I read it out loud. “‘He is coming, and I am here.’ Audrey Niffenegger.”

Chris rang the buzzer almost immediately after I finished. “What is The Time Traveler’s Wife?”

“Correct,” I said, “Go again.”

After I said that, with every clue Chris picked, he got it right every single time. I knew of his intellect, but his reaction time was almost uncanny. There was one clue where I never got to finish the whole answer before he buzzed in. He even found the Daily Double and doubled his score. The producers were unsure of what to do about this when I subtly gestured to them for a commercial break, so I just kept going. By the end of the normal Jeopardy round, Chris had a perfect score of thirty-thousand six-hundred dollars. Zex and Glodis had nothing.

“You inconsiderate furball,” Zex screamed at Chris with her fist waving in the air. “You never gave us a chance to play!”

Chris tilted his head. “Isn’t the whole point of Jeopardy to buzz in and know the question the fastest?”

“I am having a fun time!” Glodis bounced up and down on their podium. “‘Gee-oh-parody’ is a game I wish Globarb had!”

While Zex and Chris argued with each other and Glodis was the neutral party, I begged for the producers to cut to commercial this time. Thankfully, for now, they obliged.

---

“Now, it is time for the Double Jeopardy round.” I pointed to the category board as it lit up once more. “This time, it will feature categories relating to Father Chrysonice and knowledge not necessarily pertaining to the planet of Crystalga.”

I could hear Chris swallow his breath. Zex had a sharp grin on her face. Glodis blushed.

“Chris,” I said, “Please pick a clue now, thank you.”

“Um,” Chris stuttered. “I’ll take ‘Fictional Family Fun’ for four-hundred, Goddess Velouria.”

The clue appeared. I read, “A simulator that Father Chrysonice tried with us multiple times was based on this popular book series.”

Zex buzzed in. “I know this for sure. What is The Hunger Games?”

“Correct,” I said to Zex. “I’m surprised you know that series, but at the same time, I think I know why. Anyways, you get to pick now.”

Zex looked over the categories before finally settling on a clue. “‘Mysteries of Globarb’ for two-thousand, Vel.”

I raised an eyebrow and then read the clue on-screen. “The element used to power Globarbian battle-”

“What is metal?” Glodis interjected with the ring of their buzzer.

I took a second to compose myself. “That is correct, Glodis. Now, you pick.”

Glodis said, “Same category for sixteen-hundred, Earthling Velouria!”

“One of Globarb’s greatest delicacies,” I read. Zex buzzed in.

“What are the souls of the damned?”

I looked at Zex with a look of concern and bewilderment. “No…”

Chris buzzed in and said, “What are, um, strawberries?”

“Incorrect,” I said to Chris. He lowered his head.

Glodis buzzed in. “What is coffee?”

“Correct!” I smiled and so did they. “You get to pick, Glodis.”

The whole board had Chris in shambles while Glodis and Zex were getting one question right after the other. By the end of the Double Jeopardy round, the score was all tied up. This was turning out to be more fun than I had hoped!

---

I greeted the studio audience after the final commercial break. I explained to Chris, Glodis, and Zex about the final part of the game. “It is time for the Final Jeopardy round. You all get to make a wager of anything before I read the clue, and then you write down your answers. You all will have thirty seconds.” They all nodded and wrote down their wagers. As soon as they finished, I said, “Okay. Chris, Glodis, and Zex… here is the clue. From the category of ‘Tuppers and Boxes’...”

The clue flashed on the screen.

“‘This nice number was originally Civi’s Tupper bracket.’ Thirty seconds, good luck.”

As the thinking music from Jeopardy played out, Chris thought about the number as hard as he could. Zex was already done writing and she had a confident grin on her face. Glodis was sucking on the stylus they used to write their answer and wager with. When the music came to an end, I turned my attention to the contestants.

“Okay,” I said, “It is time to see your answers and wagers. Chris, we will start with you.”

Chris’ answer flashed on his podium. I read it out loud. “You wrote down ‘What is 15?’. I am sorry, but that is not the number. Your wager was… everything, wow. You had confidence in that answer, Chris.”

I turned to Glodis. “And now to you, Glodis. Your answer was… ‘What is 420?’. I am sorry, but that is also incorrect. You wagered… fifteen cups of coffee.”

Glodis shrugged. “You said to wager anything, Earthling Velouria.”

So naive. I put two fingers to my temples and groaned. “I will take that as you wagering everything. Moving on…” I finally turned to Zex. “Zex, you answered… ‘What is 69?’. Unbelievable. Zex, that… that is the correct answer.”

Zex flipped up her middle fingers to Glodis and Chris. Chris was offended, but Glodis looked puzzled. “What was your wager, Zex? You wagered… sixty-nine… million, which is over the amount you currently have, so I will take it as you having wagered everything too.”

“Yeah!” Zex jumped atop the podium and gave everyone around her an evil laugh. “I’m the best! I finally defeated that pathetic furball and his idiot alien creature companion at something. I deserve a reward, and that reward will be the Silverwing Quill!” She faced Chris. She held out her hand and summoned the Hellfire Blade from a fiery rift from the depths of Hell. She readied the blade. Glodis had pulled out their blaster and Chris prepared his Silverwing Quill.

I readied my Goldenwing Quill and shouted to the producers. “Cut the broadcast!”

I flew alongside Chris and Glodis towards Zex, ready to do battle. The fate of them was in jeopardy.

Jeopardy. Ha, I get it now.