a reason to smile.

"He doesn’t talk."

"He doesn’t make eye contact."

"He doesn’t smile."

Sentiments that are shared both behind his back and to his face by his coworkers. By no means does this make him feel any animosity towards the people he works with, even if he’s only been at this job for a few weeks. This is something he’s struggled with since childhood, since the days when bullies were more overt about how weird they thought he was and how imperative it was that they made sure he knew it too.

Well, he knew it. They had made sure of that.

Regular clock-out time was an hour ago, but he always remains long after everyone is gone, checking over his department’s work. He’s currently reviewing a jet’s design on AutoCAD, hundreds of white lines on a navy blue background that all need revision. Instead of leaving notes on what’s wrong, he simply fixes it, sparing himself the social interaction that comes with back-and-forth correspondence. He’s not good at socializing. It’d be more interesting having a conversation with a freshly painted wall.

A gloved hand reaches for the mug placed precariously by his computer mouse - it’s a custom mouse that’s shaped like a hamster with two little dots for eyes. It brings him some comfort, reminds him of home. The rim of the mug touches his lips before recoiling at the cold liquid. Cold coffee was not his thing. It’s hard to imagine that people actually pay more to get their coffee iced. He taps CTRL + S and spins in his chair to leave and get more coffee from the break room and squeaks when he’s face-to-face with an actual human being. Or maybe not an actual one, since hallucinations weren’t exactly off the table.

“Heya Jess,” the man says with a wave, then realizing he nearly scared the engineer into an early grave, pulls away with a laugh. “I was standing behind you for like five minutes, you would never survive a horror flick. Good thing you have me protecting you!”

He slaps his own chest whilst puffing it out as if to make a point. Above his hand are the letters JORDAN, his surname boasted proudly on his bomber jacket. Well, his father’s jacket - Harold “Hal” Jordan’s father was ex-Air Force and a test pilot at Ferris Air before the incident. Hal had followed in his footsteps, though made many missteps along the way. That’s fine with Jesse, he empathizes with being imperfect.

“Um,” too close. Hal is too close. “Mr. Jordan-”

“I told you to call me Hal, we’re buds. Friends. Bros, even.”

“Uh, right. Hal. Don’t scare me like that.”

“Aw, I didn’t mean to. I just thought the jet looks cool. I could never do-” he’s staring at the screen trying to figure out what he’s looking at. Jesse gets the sneaking suspicion that the test pilot doesn’t even know what engineers do. “- all of that.”

(He doesn’t know.)

“Thank you. I’m uh, gonna get some more coffee.”

Jesse makes a point of standing to emphasize his wish to exit, but Hal blocks his way. He knows it’s likely not intentional. Hal is just a big guy and there’s just so much of him to go around. No wonder he’s got such a big personality in there. He was probably one of those guys who was super popular in highschool, adored by everyone. The kind of guy Jesse adored - but also the kind of guy that hurt him irreparably.

Not that Hal seems like the bullying type. He’s sweet, has shown nothing but kindness to Jesse since his first day. Casually starting conversations with the new guy that everyone else avoided and thought was weird, always charming. But that’s precisely the problem. It’s the reason Jesse tried to avoid him whenever he saw him lumbering over to include him in the weekly employee bar escapades.

Because every time the man smiled at him, he could feel his chest tighten, his knees shake, his voice tremble.

“Cool. Cool cool cool.” Hal’s voice pulls him from his thoughts. “I was gonna get some more coffee too. Though, not from here, cause the coffee machine sucks.”

Jesse nods his agreement and walks past him, noting how the pilot has to slow his usual stride just to walk in time with him.

“Well actually, that’s just the thing. I was gonna ask if you wanted to ditch this popsicle stand and grab a coffee.”

Jesse nearly trips over himself. Pull yourself together. He stops and looks up at Hal and his green eyes meet a sincere brown. His gaze quickly darts back to the safe walls of white. “Oh, well, I’m working, so I probably shouldn’t leave…”

“Nah, you probably should. I’ve heard working too much can kill you.”

“Wouldn’t you rather go with someone else more…” Talkative? Fun? Normal?

“I didn’t ask someone else. I’m asking you.” Hal flashes a wide grin, his entire face lightening up as he shakes his head, as though this were something so simple and easy to understand.

He couldn’t understand, but Hal was always an exception to the rule. When it came to him, all he wanted to do was talk until he ran out of breath, stare into those beautiful brown eyes, and… Jesse mirrors a smile of his own, awkward and small, like it didn’t belong on his face. “Okay, but we can’t stay out too long.”

Hal pumped a fist in the air. “Hell yeah, let’s paint the town our colors! Say, what would our colors be? I was thinking green…”

They didn’t return back to work, and they definitely stayed out too long. But Jesse didn’t mind getting the opportunity to bask in the joy of someone genuinely enjoying their time spent with him.