holding.

The fire was everywhere.

All Fumes could see was thick orange tendrils rearing and snarling around her, reaching for her and searing everything in its wake. Smoke belched in columns that blacked out the sky, thickening the air and making Fumes’ mucous taste like soot and sand. 

She could feel herself gasping and racing through the flames, trying to leave the field of fire. But her wings felt too heavy to fly and she couldn’t see anything past a darkening black cloud and sharp orange flames. She staggered onto the ground, coughing and wheezing.

“Help!” She shouted, but only the flames cackled back in response. She raised a talon, reaching upwards for someone, but only the heat grasped her claws. It pressed into her black scales and mane, the burning sensation traveling all over her body.

“Help me!” She tried shouting again, but her voice was hoarse and growing drier. She slowly sunk to the ground, tears stinging her eyes. She shut them tightly, shaking as she dug her claws into the group. Where was she? Why couldn’t anyone hear her?

“Fumes!” A voice shouted through the flames.

Fumes jerked up, but the flames pulled away to show an image of a purple and black dragon snarling in rage, hatred as he glared at her. 

“I’ll kill you!” he snarled, his claws only inches away. “You deserve to die!”

The fire encased him again, burning him away as the flames crackled with his voice.

You deserve to die.

You deserve to die. 

You deserve to die.

~

“Fumes!”

She jerked up out of her sleep in a frenzy, gasping. Sudden weights were flung off of her, relieving some of the pressure from her back and chest. She touched her face, wincing in surprise at the tears streaming down her cheeks. What the hell?

She blinked rapidly, wiping her cheeks and letting her eyes adjust to the darkness of the room. A shape shifted next to her, a quiet tapping noise echoing before a dull purple glow lit up the walls and the figure, bringing out his purple and orange hints. 

When the dragon turned back to her, his purple eyes were filled with concern. “Fumes?”

She let out a shaky sigh, her talon reaching towards him. “Zucker…”

He took her talon immediately, kissing it briefly before holding it in both of his talons and studying her face worriedly. “What happened? Another nightmare?”

She flinched, her teeth gritting quietly. “Yeah. Another one.”

She flopped back down on the pillow, exhaling slowly and trying to hide the shakiness her breathing still reflected. She let her head feel the soft pillow below her and the sheets around her, tangling up her paws and tail. She could feel the fluffy tail of Zucker’s nearby, gently resting against hers. She closed her eyes, continuing to breathe and refusing to look at the PeakWing next to her.

“Did it have the fire?” Zucker asked gently, his talon gently rubbing hers. It was soothing, admittedly, and she couldn’t help but let her talon go limp in his grip. “What type of fire was it?”

“It was just a dumb fire,” she mumbled, burying her snout into the pillow. She hesitated for a moment before adding quietly, “But your dad was there.”

Zucker exhaled slowly, and she glanced up briefly to see him staring at the ceiling. He closed his eyes for a brief moment before looking down at her, his blazing purple eyes meeting with her stark green staring at him. “He got what he deserved. He’s in prison. You don’t have to worry about him anymore.”

She shrugged, closing her eyes again. “I have to worry when he’s invading my dreams, though. Not like I can stop that.”

She felt the bed shift under her, the warm breath of Zucker softly brushing her face as he shuffled closer to her. When she peered back at him, he asked softly, “Can I do anything to help?”

She shook her head, burrowing into the pillow as she grumbled, “Tell me I’m an idiot for having stupid nightmares about fire.”

“They aren’t stupid,” Zucker chided, his talon reaching over and trailing over her arm. She twitched a little initially, but stayed still to let his claw trace her scales on her shoulders and arms. “They’re perfectly reasonable. You’re not weak or stupid or anything for having those nightmares.”

“It’s been years, Zucker,” Fumes stressed, her voice straining slightly. She cleared her throat, wrinkling her nose and huffing, “I shouldn’t be such a scaredy cat over some stupid fire. It’s done. It’s in the past. We got vengeance.”

Zucker frowned, studying her for a moment before slowly reaching for her talon again, pressing it open and rubbing the patches that were scarred and chipped. As Fumes flinched, Zucker told her gently, “But the scars still remain.”

She studied him for a moment, her breath hitching a little, but she yanked her talon back with a hiss and blinked rapidly to stop her eyes from getting wet. “So? I’ve grieved for my dad and my mom already. I’ve grieved for everyone that’s needed to be grieved for. Why am I-”

Her voice broke, and she bared her teeth as small tears started flickering out of her eyes. “Why am I still such a mess?”

She slammed her eyes shut, trying to push the tears away, but suddenly warmth encased her and brought her closer, a fluffy mane and welcoming body trapping her. Zucker tucked her head next to his, one of her talons resting on his gently beating heart and the other gently digging into his mane. She felt his arm wrap around her as well, securing her close.

“Fumes,” he murmured gently. “You are the strongest dragon I know. You’re not a mess. We’re still processing everything, okay? It’s… Going to take more than just two years after reuniting to fix it. But we’ll heal together, okay?”

She sniffed, shaking her head to try and push away the tears, but Zucker only brought her closer, the mark on his cheek gently brushing hers. 

“Just let me hold you, Fumes,” he murmured quietly. “I’m here for you. It’s okay.”

She dug her claws into his mane again, letting out a small hiccup before finally letting her body relax, the tears running as she nestled up into him. Zucker continued to hold her close, the warmth he exuded much more gentle and loving than any fire ever could be.

“I love you, Fumes,” he whispered quietly. “I’m not leaving you again, okay? I’m here with you through it all. We’ll grieve and heal together. I promise.”

She felt his tail twine around hers, the lights slowly dimming again in the room. Her throat felt too hoarse to say anything back, but she gently tapped his chest where his heart was beating three times; a quiet way to say, I love you too.

She knew she couldn’t refuse him or push him away, but sleep didn’t come back to her easily. She kept her eyes closed, listening to his gentle breathing and focusing on his heartbeat to keep herself grounded. As she continued breathing, slowly the smoke in her memories cleared until she could only smell Zucker’s scent of blossoms and grass.

He’s so cheesy, she thought quietly to herself. As she ducked her head to burrow under his chin, she added, But I need that, I guess.

So she let him hold her.