Thoughts

"I have been thinking.
A lot actually.
More than I normally do.
There are days, I don't think at all.

Don't even do a thing.
At those days, I can't sense anything.
I can't hear, feel, think or even see at those days.
Normally I don't remember those days.
Don't even live these days.
I have noticed that!
Now I have!
Those blank days of nothing.

I have been thinking.
About...my past.
I had one.
I think.
I had a family.
I think.
The more I think about it, the harder it gets to imagine those.
I might never had one, maybe it is all false memories.
Fake memories.
And memories, that are not mine.
Memories that I never noticed were never mine.
But.
I thought they were.
Till now.
.
I know it now.
Or I may.
I am not sure.
But I think I do.
.
I never had a family.
These are fake memories.
But they feel so real.
I dreamed of being a hero when I was younger.
That wasn't my dream.
Someone elses.
I think.
I don't know what to do.
I have memories of things I think are not real.
Memories of a world full of magic.
I have never been.
Memories of a world full of bright lights.
I have never been.
Memories of a world of sand.
I have never been.
Memories of having a real..
Friend...
I never had..
And I will never.
I know that.
I am sorry
It is not your fault.
You miss them too, don't you?
We both know..
I know.
With the time, memories were mixed.
Memories that weren't mine or fake.
Growing older, your memories are part of mine.
I have seen them.
I thought they were mine.
Thought I have gone through all that stuff.
Thanks to you I can think.
Think right now.
Mixed memories..
Magic?
Simulation?
Connected souls?
What are we?
What am I?
I don't have my own memories.
I am sure.
I don't have my own life.
I am sure.
I don't have anything.
I am sure.
Everything I see is not real.
Nothing is real.
I am not real.
Or am I?
I am not sure.
This is too much.
This is too much!
I know that you are there!
We are one.
I am one.
I am part of you.
You are part of me.
We can not live without eachother.
No.
I know.
I can't live without you!
I know that!
I am sure.
Sure.
I'd die with you, if you ever did.
And you will.
Like everything else.
What a shame.
Really.
I had goals,
No.
We had goals.
I don't know anymore.
I can't.
I really don't know.
Part of you.
I never even had a real name.
I never knew that.
Not before.
Mwins.
No.
M W I N S
Kräh
That is my name.
Not given by my family.
Not by my parents.
I never had those, right?
You gave me that name.
I don't understand.
I wanna stop thinking!
I can't!
I should never have started it!
STOP!
It is too much.
really
it is
I can feel how you are feeling right now
sorry for thinking
it is not your fault
the day might have came sooner or later.
I really don't like this
I have a weird feeling
like pressure on my chest
it is not mine
I know it
it is yours

Nothing of me is real.
I hate that thought.


"