Sweatshirt

“Ahhhh, ssi-bal, it’s cold as hell!”

Zenith chuckled. “Your Korean is awful, except for your cursing,” he commented.

“I get a lot of chances to use it,” Nico bragged. He shot his best friend a wry grin, and Zenith smiled back slightly. Nico grumbled as he rubbed his hands together, as though that tiny bit of friction could stave off the oppressive cold.

Zenith watched his friend do so for a while. Nico’s melodramatic antics filled him with a fond affection. Despite all the time they’d been deployed in Korea, every winter, Nico acted like he was on the verge of hypothermia when the temperature started to drop.

“Why don’t you go put on a sweater?” he asked. They had been rooming together for some time now, and Nico’s room was just down the hall from the little living/dining/kitchen space.

“Shhh,” Nico shushed him. “Maverick’s about to tell off Iceman.” His focus returned wholly to the tv, where Top Gun was playing (again). He even stopped rubbing his hands together, as though the sound of it would distract him.

“That’s right, Iceman… I am dangerous,” proclaimed a young Tom Cruise.

Zenith didn’t know how many times they’d watched this movie. It was Nico’s favorite, and whenever they were stuck on what to watch on their rare evenings off, Nico happily defaulted to it. By now, Zenith was sure even he knew most of the lines of the movie. No doubt Nico could probably reenact the entire movie single-handedly by now. And yet every time they put it on, Nico would become spellbound at his favorite scenes, as though it were the first time he’d ever seen the movie. Sometimes it was more amusing watching Nico’s reactions and anticipation than the actual scene.

As the intensity of the current conflict on the screen faded, Nico settled back comfortably into the couch. His favorite scenes always made him lean forward. Those few inches closer to the screen made all the difference for the viewing experience.

“My sweaters are in the dryer,” Nico said to finally answer Zenith’s question. “I must have put both of them in, because I couldn’t find one.”

“I’ll get you one of mine then,” Zenith offered. He got up with a bit of a stretch. Their apartment was a bit tight on space, and he slightly brushed past Nico’s lazily (man)spread legs on his way to his room.

The contact, albeit brief, made Nico twitch back into a more compact position to as not to impede Zenith’s inevitable passage back. His eyes moved off the screen to follow his roommate until Zenith went through the doorway of his room and disappeared out of view.

For those few moments, Zenith had been just slightly more interesting to watch than what was happening on screen.

By the time Zenith returned, sweater in one hand, Nico’s focus was completely returned the screen. Zenith tossed the sweater at Nico. It hit his inattentive friend right in the head, draping itself over his face.

“Bluhh!” Nico dragged the sweater off his face. “You could have just handed it to me,” he complained, as he sorted out the entrance side of the sweater.

“Your fault for not paying attention,” Zenith said, settling back down. “I thought you SEALs were supposed to be ever vigilant.”

“I am vigilant,” declared Nico, as he struggled into Zenith’s sweater. “I’m just watching my favorite movie of all time right now, so that was a cheap shot.”

Despite their mostly similar height, Zenith’s slimmer build meant he usually wore a size smaller than Nico did. The sweater a bit tighter than he usually went for, but in this weather that just meant it warmed up faster. Nico sighed contently at the near immediate effect.

“Hope no one ever tells the enemy your one weakness,” Zenith teased. Nico shushed and waved him off. Zenith let out a little amused breath. “You’ve watched this movie a hundred times. Probably more,” Zenith pointed out. “Don’t you know the whole thing by heart by now?”

“Hrmph,” Nico huffed. “That doesn’t matter. I’ll never get sick of it.” He looked over at Zenith and grinned at him. “I’m more surprised you’re not sick of it honestly. You still watch it with me every time.”

Zenith felt a bit shy to admit that he was more amused watching Nico’s reactions to it. “Well, it’s your favorite movie, so I don’t mind you putting it on.”

Nico’s smile seemed to stretch even bigger, if that was possible. Its warmth was infectious, and Zenith couldn’t help smiling back.

“Awwww. You’re the fuckin best, Z,” Nico said. He felt a slight, happy ping in his heart. Nico’s general charisma and outgoing nature meant it wasn’t hard for him to make friends wherever he went, but he’d never had a friend that he’d been as close to as he was to Zenith.

When they were younger and still in military academy, he’d developed a fascination (maybe obsession?) with his underclassman. Despite looking stoic and aloof, Nico had soon discovered that Zenith was more than willing to participate in Nico’s shenanigans. It had taken some time, but when Zenith had warmed up to him, he found him to be a loyal and steadfast friend. They’d been together through some hard things and together they’d overcome them.

They’d spent a couple of years apart when Nico had graduated, but they’d been reunited at Hovey Army Base when they were coincidentally both deployed to Korea. Seeing him again had been one of the best days of his life. The first few years of military duty had been unexpectedly difficult for Nico to adjust to, but seeing Zenith again had gave him the first semblance of normalcy after a chaotic and violent year.

---

It was late when the movie ended, so they both just went straight to bed after turning off the television.

As Nico settled into his bed (being able to live off base was a damn luxury), he realised he hadn’t returned Zenith’s sweater.

The thick duvet was bone chillingly icy underneath, and before long Nico found himself wiggling back into Zenith’s sweater.

In the quiet dark, Nico realised suddenly that the sweater definitely smelled like Zenith. Curiously, he lifted the collar to his nose and inhaled.

It was a pleasant smell. Just a hint of the shampoo they shared indiscriminately in the one bathroom, and under that, a mellow, masculine scent of aftershave and skin.

Nico laughed at himself. You’re so fuckin weird, he admonished himself. Sniffing your best friends sweater. What were you expecting?

He hadn’t disliked it. But the unfamiliar scent, though slight, gave him the unshakeable feeling that someone else was in his bed with him, and Nico unusually found himself struggling to fall asleep as his mind seemed unusually active.

Nico found himself continuing the line of thought he had been on before the movie had ended. I’m really lucky, he thought idly. He thought about his other friends from Milizia. He’d stayed in contact with some, but most of them who were from other countries, he’d lost contact with. None of his other friends from Milizia Academy had ended up in Korea. Other than Zenith.

Nico was lucky it had worked out like that. He’s probably my favorite person in all the world, he thought. There was just something about they way they got along so well. That wasn’t to say they’d never had any conflicts in the past. But they’d both put in equal effort to get over those conflicts, and generally came out of it with a better understanding of how to deal with the other after. That was part of why Nico had asked Zenith to be his roommate, rather than anyone else in his squad. He knew he could trust Zenith and their relationship wouldn’t suffer from any of the accumulating frustrations that usually came from living with someone else.

And it had worked out like he knew it would. They were closer than ever, even though they were part of different military divisions. They hardly saw each other in the day, and oftentimes one or the other went on long missions that could mean they didn’t see each other for days on end.

It was hard not to worry when it was Zenith who was gone. But that was just a fact of active military life. But each time he came back safe it was always a relief. Nico felt pretty sure Zenith felt the same way. Coming home never felt complete until he and Zenith were hugging it out, either on the base or in the doorway of the apartment. It was just a platonic bro hug, but being in Zenith’s arms made him feel safe again.

On base, Zenith was a bit shy of the affectionate display, but Nico didn’t really care. He wanted that safe and loved feelin—

His train of thought squealed as mental brakes were slammed. Not loved, he thought in a panic. He struggled to find the right word, then almost as quickly wondered why he was trying. It’s not like anyone was reading his thoughts, and he didn’t have to justify how he felt to anyone. You’re not a anxious teenager afraid of judgment anymore, he reminded himself. You’re just thinking, and not even out loud.

I feel safe with him, he thought. I trust him more than anyone. I like him so much as a person. That’s all.

Despite thinking so, he tugged the sweater off. It was warm enough under the duvet without it now. But for some reason it felt rude to yeet his friend’s sweater across the room to the chair or wherever. But damn if he was going to get out now and release all this hard earned warm air. So it stayed in the bed with him, annoying him with its unfamiliar presence.

It was worse having it laying next to him. For some reason the space in between him and the sweater made him even more aware of it.

He glared at it. Fuck! You’re such a dork. You’re getting so worked up over a sweater. It’s not like it’s Zenith in the bed with you.

I think it would be easier to deal with if he were, Nico thought suddenly. Hot and embarrassed warmth flooded his face and he pressed it into his chilly pillow. That was a weird fucking thought. That he would rather have his friend in bed with him than his sweater? Who thinks things like that?!

It’s not like he’d never slept in close proximity to his (male) friends, in fact, as a soldier he had to do so quite often. He just hadn’t had a chance to do so with Zenith.

A chance??? A chance??? You think you missing out on something??!

He cursed his overactive imagination. Go to sleep, go to sleep, he pleaded himself.

Blearily Nico stared at the clumped up sweater. Guiltily he pulled it into a hug like it were a small, understuffed plushie.

You’re a damned adult, he scolded himself. There’s no shame in admitting your feelings. Nico snuggled into the sweater and breathed in.

Ok, fine… I want to be near him all the time. I like being with him.

I think...

I might love him a little bit.