"So don't argue."
More arguments between Ning and Benny.
"Fuck you, Ning! Fuck you."
"Can you fucking stop..."
"Fuck, I wish I could! I can't do this any more! Fuck, this wasn't supposed to go like this..."
"Benny..."
"Shut the hell up, let me think."
Benny rubbed his temples and ended with his face in his palms. His cheeks were wet and he had no more energy for shouting. The wine glass was half empty and the evening was dark. The kitchen was quiet when Ning and Benny were. And they were quiet often. During the day they'd had lunch with the kids, talked about the earthquake, and how to go forward afterwards. After returning home Ning had opened the wine bottle, but the argument had erupted before that.
"Do you understand how grating it is to open the dish cabinet and get beaten up by your useless cups?"
"Benny..."
"And, and, and, and that I can't find my important, Ning, IMPORTANT files because of your books?"
"They're all in shelves!" Ning said and spread his arms. Benny did not look in his direction, which certainly provoked him further. "Goddamnit, I put them just where you ask me to put them!"
"How much do you have to have? I meant, like, normal amounts of books in bookshelves! How many did you buy this time from that antiquarian bookstore? The one you just had to get into?"
Ning huffed, which got on Benny's nerves even more than before. Ning did not take his worries seriously, but dwelled in his pride and his shame. As always. Ning never took Benny's worries seriously, or that's how Benny felt, anyway.
"This is a stupid issue to argue about, you know," Ning said, calmer. Ning didn't know how to stay angry, as stubborn as he was. Benny almost wished that Ning had yelled and made a scene and thrown a tantrum. Benny wanted to throw things and say how things really were, that he no longer felt the passion or the love towards his husband he used to feel, hadn't for months, but it felt so wrong to say. Who new, maybe it would cause yet another depressive episode when Ning would not get out of bed.
"Then don't argue," Benny said and emptied his glass.