Druzy Development Oneshot 1

By the time Druzy arrived at her parents' house, she was in tears. Brainy opened the door.

"Hi." Druzy said, raising a hand in greeting.

"Oh, Druzy, come in, come in!" Brainy stepped aside, ushering Druzy into the house. "You haven't smurfed by in so long!"

"I visited yesterday, Mom." Druzy said with a sigh, heading over to the couch and flopping onto it.

Brainy followed her. "Are you alright?"

"Do I look like I'm alright?"

"...Not really."

"That answers yer question, then."

"Uh, gee, Brainybug, what's goin' on?" Clumsy said, peeking his head through a doorway. When he saw Druzy, his face lit up in a smile. "Oh, Dru's here! Hiya, honey!"

Druzy lifted a hand to greet Clumsy, not even bothering to turn her head. "Hi, Ma."

Clumsy walked in. "Aw, gosh, what's wrong?" He asked, crouching to sit down on the floor next to the couch. He wobbled a bit, unable to bend all the way down, then flopped to the floor with a loud crack. "Ow!"

"Clumsy, Clumsy, Clumsy," Brainy said, sitting down in an armchair. "You should know by now that smurfing on the floor isn't good for you."

"Gosh, but I do it all the time!"

"You're not 200 anymore, Clumsy. As Papa Smurf always says, all good things must come to an end. And that includes the smurfiness of youth."

A flicker of sadness passed across both Clumsy and Druzy's faces as Brainy quoted Papa Smurf, but it was soon gone. They were used to it at this point.

"Well, darlin', ya know bein' around ya makes me feel like a young Smurf again."

Brainy blushed and turned aside. "Shut up, you old sap."

Druzy buried her head into the couch cushions, and Clumsy reached up an arm to try and pat her back.

"Aw, I'm sorry, honey, I got distracted. What's wrong?"

Druzy lifted her head up. "It's just... y'all are so in love," she said, her voice quivering. "An' no one likes me, an' I'm never gonna find somesmurf t'love like y'all love each other!"

"Druzy, Druzy, Druzy!" Brainy said. "There are plenty of people who like you!"

"Don't sugarcoat it, Mom, I got one friend an' ev'rysmurf else hates me." Druzy buried her head in the couch cushions again. "Let's face it, I'm gon' be alone forever. No Smurf's ever gonna love me."

"You know," Clumsy said with a smirk, "that's what yer mom thought when xe was your age."

"Clumsy!" Brainy exclaimed. "Don't say that!"

"What? It's true! I was yer only friend, an' ev'rysmurf else did hate ya!"

"But don't tell her that!"

Druzy giggled at her parents' shenanigans, and Clumsy smiled at her.

"Golly, there we go! There's my li'l girl's li'l smile! Now, let me tell ya somethin. Most Smurfs prob'ly don't hate ya. They jus' don't know how t'handle ya, is all. It'll get better as y'get older."

"You're something new to this world, sweetheart," Brainy said. "Something completely unprecedented. You're our daughter. Unfortunately, however, that also means you've inherited some of our mental dysfunctions."

"That's not-" Druzy started.

"Uh, Brainybug," Clumsy interrupted, "what's a dysfunction?"

"A dysfunction is an impairment in the function of a certain bodily system... so a mental dysfunction is what's wrong with our minds."

"Mom-"

"Well, gee, that ain't a very nice thing t'say at all."

"She told me not to sugarcoat it!" Brainy said, gesturing to Druzy. "So I'm not sugarcoating it! We're different from other Smurfs, and she inherited that!"

"Mom, please-"

"Of course, differences aren't always unsmurfy. For instance, my differences make me much more intelligent than other Smurfs, at the expense of my memory and ability to socialize with others. Clumsy, your differences cause you to smurf the world in a completely different way, which can sometimes result in moments of great wisdom, and sometimes in moments of great stupidity."

"Mom, that's-"

"Druzy, as far as I can tell, you smurf the world in a different way, and you have my intelligence. And, like me, this intelligence comes at the expense of your social skills. This isn't anything to be ashamed of, it just means that it will sometimes be harder for you to navigate life than it is for other Smurfs. However, sometimes it will be easier. Do you understand?"

"Mom!" Druzy yelled. "That isn't even what I was upset about!"

"Oh." Brainy said. "Well, um... what were you upset about?"

"Mycrushstarteddatingsomesmurfelse."

"Uh, sorry," Clumsy asked, "what was that?"

"My crush started dating somesmurf else!" Druzy exclaimed. "I saw them today, holdin' hands and kissin', and Flora kept referrin' ta Spider as her girlfriend! An' I was so in love, an' I never told her, and now I never can!"

"Y'know," Clumsy said, "jus' 'cause they're datin' each other don't mean they can't date anysmurf else at the same time."

"Don't listen to your ma, that's horrible advice." Brainy said. "Just try and smurf on with your life. Romantic relationships aren't worth the effort."

"Aw, but darlin', what about you an' me?" Clumsy asked, frowning at Brainy.

Brainy crossed his arms. "An exception that proves the rule. If you'll remember, you initiated everything. All I did was say yes."

"Nuh-uh, that ain't true! Remember, yer the one that proposed t'me!"

"Of course I did- I needed to make sure you didn't leave me. And marrying you was the easiest way to smurf us together forever."

"Darlin', I wouldn't leave ya! Y'know that!"

"No, I don't, and I didn't! We'd broken up, remember? I couldn't smurf it!"

"Mom, Ma?" Druzy piped up. "Can y'all talk about this after I go? I really... I cain't handle y'all arguin' right now. I jus' cain't."

"Sorry, honey."

"Sorry, Druzy. I just needed to stop your ma from smurfing you that horrible advice."

"Really," Clumsy said, "you shouldn't take romantic advice from either of us. I mean, accordin' t'yer mom, I cain't smurf good advice on the subject-"

"Exactly!" Brainy said.

"-an' yer mom has never dated anysmurf except me."

"Gosh, that'd be nice," Druzy said. "Jus' havin' one person t'stay with forever, in good times an' bad. Sounds real smurfy."

"Druzy, Druzy, Druzy. You're focusing too much on romance. Having somesmurf to love and stay with doesn't have to be romantic. Your ma and I didn't get together until we were much older than you are now."

"That was the happiest day of my life," Clumsy said with a dopey smile.

"It was the third-happiest day of mine." Brainy said.

"Third-happiest?" Druzy asked.

"Of course! The second happiest day of my life was when I married your ma, and the happiest day of my life was when I held you in my arms for the first time."

"Gee," Clumsy said. "I guess I gotta say it's the fourth-happiest day of my life. But, still, it was a real good day."

"What are your top three, Ma?"

"Well, my third happiest was when your mom an' I got married. An' my second happiest was when xe first kissed me."

"You smurfed our first kiss above when we started dating? And above our marriage?" Brainy asked in surprise.

"Uh, gosh, yeah! 'Cause datin' was jus' makin' it official, an' the weddin' was kinda stressful, since ya ran away an' the decorations were a mess an' all." Clumsy turned back to Druzy. "And my first happiest day was when I first learned that you were my daughter!"

"I'm glad y'all love me, at least," Druzy said, pushing up her glasses and rubbing at her eyes.

"Of course we do," said Clumsy. "We're your parents!"

Brainy nodded. "I always imagined what it would be like being able to have a child of my own, the way other species can. But when you smurfed along, it was even better than I imagined. Papa Smurf always said that raising a child is the world's hardest task, but I'd say that hard task is worth it- you turned out to be the most amazing Smurf I've ever met."

"Uh, gosh, honey," Clumsy said, "what were the three happiest days of yer life?"

"Gee, Ma, I don't know. I cain't order 'em. Uh, when I was real little, an' y'all would go out on dates an' I'd stay with Blossom an' Storm, an' Snappy Bug would stay with me an' read me stories, that was smurfy. An' when I made friends with Shy, that was a good day."

"Anythin' more recent?" Clumsy prompted.

Druzy thought. "Uh, findin' that padparadscha sapphire last month was swell. Sapphires are my fav'rite rock, an' padparadschas are so rare."

"Gol-ly, a padparadscha sapphire? I cain't b'lieve ya found a padparadscha sapphire!" Clumsy paused. "Uhhh... what's a padparadscha sapphire?"

Brainy giggled, but Druzy rolled her eyes. Ugh, Ma was so smurf-damned stupid that there was probably a tree stump in Pussywillow Hollow with a higher IQ! "Oh, bless yer heart, Ma," Druzy said. "A padparadscha sapphire's a sapphire that's a pinkish-orangeish sorta color."

"Uhhh..." Clumsy tilted his head. "But, uh, I thought sapphires were blue."

"Nope!" Druzy sat up. "Y'see, the rock most folk call 'sapphire' is actually called corundum- an' rubies are corundum, too! Y'see, rubies an' sapphires are really the same kinda rock. Corundum can smurf in aaaaallll sorts of colors, but fer some reason, the red ones are called rubies, an' all the other colors are called sapphires. But even though corundum can smurf in any color, red an' blue are the most common, so common folk often smurf that sapphires are blue. Corundum that ain't blue or red is called a 'fancy sapphire.' Padparadscha sapphires are a pinkish-orangeish color, which is the rarest color for a sapphire!"

Clumsy blinked. "Uhhh... what?"

"Oh, I get it," said Brainy. "Because padparadscha sapphires are pink, it's hard to differentiate them from rubies, right? And that's why they're rare?"

Druzy shook her head. "Nope! They're rare 'cause corundum color's caused by the other min'rals in the corundum, an' the min'rals that make it padparadscha-colored don't show up much."

"Gol-ly, it's quite the tongue twister!" Clumsy said, wanting to join in on the conversation despite having no clue what his daughter was talking about. "Try sayin' padparadscha three times fast! Padparadscha padparashh- bleh." He stuck out his tongue. "I cain't do it."

Well, Druzy thought, Ma may be stupid, but he was never boring.

"I'm not even going to try that," she said, covering her mouth to hide a giggle. "But you did your best, Ma."

"I always do my best!" Clumsy said with a grin.

Brainy smiled. "Of course you do. And I love you for it."

"Aw, I love ya too, darlin'!"

"I love you more, my little buttercup."

"No, I love ya more!"

"No, I love you more!"

Druzy rolled her eyes dramatically, standing up. "Ugh, y'all never stop flirtin'. I'm gonna go hang out with my friend." With that, she left.

The moment she was gone, Brainy broke into a grin.

"I don't know how you do it, Clumsy, but you managed to distract her from her problems."

"Um, well, I dunno how I did it either."

"You truly are a mystery," Brainy said, standing up. Clumsy tried to do the same... and found he couldn't. He was old, he wasn't flexible anymore. His limbs were too stiff.

"Uh..." He looked up at Brainy. "Help?"

Brainy walked over, leaned down, and effortlessly picked Clumsy up. "Clumsy, Clumsy, Clumsy," xe said, "this is why I told you you shouldn't smurf on the floor."

"Uh-huh. I ain't worried, Brainybug. I know you'll be by my side, every step of the way."

Brainy smiled, nuzzling against Clumsy. "Darling, I promise, I'll stay with you for eternity. 'I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes. I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.' But I need breaks sometimes, and I won't always be here to help you up when you fall. So stop doing dumb things!"

"Hmm... nope." Clumsy said, before bursting into laughter. Brainy joined him.