Adjustment

It was different. A kind of difference that was not necessarily bad, but not necessarily good.

Oh, who was he fooling. It was hard, no it was difficult, adjusting to only being able to see out of one eye. It was a kind of adjustment that would have been easier if he was still with his clanmates, and that thought makes his heart ache ever so much.

He should not have listened to that Lynxclan she-cat, that traitor. Snakeclan was all he had- he was not going to go back to those coward-hearted Ravenclanners. And he threw it all away- for what? His disdain over rogues?

Well he was one of those rogues now, and does he ever regret it so much. Living as a rogue, without the support of his clanmates- yes he had Rustle, Hawkshade and Ashtail and he used to have Eagle…but there was something different about having the whole clan supporting one another, even someone as distant as he was.

In fact he was lucky he had those three- if he was alone…he doesn’t know what he would have done.

His thoughts went off track though, as much as that thought surprised him. Adjusting being half-blind.

Ha…the injury was still affecting him a bit if he was being this absent minded.

He startles more easily now, if he is not paying attention and someone comes up from his blind side. Being a rogue out here alone with his thoughts has given him a lot more to be distracted with, and whenever Harkshade or Ashtail come to talk to him from that side he can not help but jump a little.

Rustle never comes towards him from his blind side. He does not know if that bothers him or not.

He wants to say his other senses have gotten sharper since he lost half of his sight but really…they have not. He still can scent the same, taste the same, and feel the same earth under his paws as before. Perhaps if he was born blind it would have been a different story, but no. He lost his sight to a freak accident.

He still carries his decision to not shoulder Rustle’s guilt- even though it sometimes eats him alive seeing the younger cat just flinching ever so slightly every time he sees his injury.

It has gotten better- especially since his own injury has been getting better and he has not been letting it affect his hunting or even fighting skills too much- or at least not letting how much it affects him be shown to the younger cat.

So he may have gotten little sleep since the decision- going out late at night to practice hunting and sparring with rogues that would give him the time of day- not many do, but the few who are not immediately aggressive at him love the chance at getting to beat up the cats who were murdering rogues at the call of Stormfang.

The little sleep did not matter though- he needed to show that injury was not affecting him, that Rustle did not need to worry about him. He was strong, he was their impromptu leader after Eagle left, and he knew the younger cat looked up to him.

So he adjusted. He adjusted with difficulty, but he adjusted.