Ocean Secrets
“I’ve never seen a rainy season like this.” Azura remarked as she stared out at the gloomy sky. The wind blew the rain in sideways, pelting the row of windows off Varia’s kitchen.
Varia sighed. Her friend was right. It had been raining all season, forcing her to stay inside and sulk. She wanted to be out in the water, doing laps from dawn to dusk. The ocean was her home. It called to her, even in the nastiest of weather. She had never spent so much time away from it.
”Varia?” Azura asked. “Are you alright?”
”Mhm.” Varia answered quickly. She took a sip of tea to hide her face.
”You seem… withdrawn. You can tell me if something is bothering you.”
”I’m fine. Just… the weather is souring my mood this afternoon. That’s all.”
”Okay.” Azura said. They didn’t seem to fully buy her excuse, but made no more remarks.
Varia realized she was being a poor host. “Uh, would you like some more tea?”
”No, no, I’m good.”
”Alright.”
”I should actually go. I’ve been expecting a small delivery for a few days now, and I’d hate to think it might be delivered only to get destroyed by this rain.”
”Oh.” Varia knew she wasn’t hiding her disappointment well, she just wasn’t in a place where she could fake positive emotions. She walked Azura to the door, then bid them farewell. Then she was alone once more.
******
All night, Varia was plagued by dreams of her parents. She could hear them talking down the hall, but no matter how long she walked, she never reached their door. When she finally gave up and threw her robe on, she had expected it to be late in the morning, but it wasn’t even five-thirty. She made herself a cup of coffee and plopped down at her usual spot: at the dining table, staring out at the sea.
By eleven that morning, the torrential rain had slowed down to a steady drizzle. It was still gloomy and dark, but as Varia poked her head outside she noticed the wind was much better too. Still not swimming weather. Though… she was a great swimmer and dextroluma were semi-aquatic. What would it hurt to take a little dip? It would be just the thing to perk her up until the weather cleared properly.
Varia left her mug on the table and rushed to put on a bathing suit. Within minutes, she was racing down the driftwood covered beach. The moment her head sunk beneath the water, Varia was invigorated. The chilly water shocked her system, but she barely registered it. She was too busy smiling. Varia swam lengthwise, careful not to go further out to sea where the water would surely be worse. She did a backstroke for a while, letting the rain fall on her upturned face. Then she started doing speed laps, still trying to break the all time record she had set six years prior. She was so busy striving for that record, that it took her several minutes to notice the rain picking back up. The water grew dangerously choppy, but Varia hesitated. Just when she was starting to feel good; it wasn’t fair. She decided to give it a few more minutes. If there was any thunder or lightning, or if the waves got worse, she would head inside.
Varia continued her laps. She was making good time, when things took a sudden turn. Varia found herself being whipped around in the current. She tried to get an eye on her home, but it was suddenly small in the distance. She knew there should be a small island or two, just enough to wash up on, somewhere in the vicinity. But she couldn’t get her bearings. One island flew past, then the second. Varia tried swimming in a southern direction, but the water in open seas was much too severe. The colossal waves crashed over her. To her own surprise, Varia didn’t feel panicked. This was the ocean. Her home. She dove beneath the waves and using her tail, propelled herself several feet beneath the water. This, she supposed, was as good a time to practice diving as any.
Varia swam downwards until the pressure started to bother her, then she began swimming forwards instead. There were lots of interesting fish and plants down here, but she hadn’t taken much time to explore before. She was more into timing her swims and practicing her form than ocean exploration.
Many minutes into her dive, Varia spotted a large object in the distance. She swam closer, then realized it was a ship. It was a decent sized craft, similar to the ones she saw headed to the docks with deliveries every first of the month. There were strange, luminescent mushrooms growing along the handrail and the deck. They weren’t like the standard ocean variety she loved, but she didn’t think she was deep enough to uncover abyssal shrooms. As she explored the ship, she got a feeling that it was quite old. It didn’t look quite like the modern ships she was used to, though she couldn’t put her finger on what exactly was wrong. She wondered what had caused it to crash.
Just as she was about to head away, something caught her eye. Varia went down a the door on the ship and ran her hand across the front. It was faint, almost impossible to see, but she could feel the shape of the letters in the metal. LB. And around it, the familiar shape of the family crest. Did this ship belong to her family? She had never known much about the business side of her family, they easily could have owned a ship or a whole fleet of ships if they had wanted to.
This discovery piqued her curiosity. Varia made her way into the ship via the large hole in the front half of its body. She didn’t know if there would be anything inside, but she had to check. And sure enough, there a few broken crates within the belly of the ship. They weren’t in great shape, it looked as if some critter or another had been rooting around in them. Many of the bottles inside were broken, probably from the crash, but a lot were intact too. Varia picked one up and examined it. A bottle like that usually meant alcohol, which wasn’t really her thing. But it was interesting for her to imagine some great-great aunt handling the shipping of these bottles from a factory here in the village to some far away town.
The ship creaked and groaned. Varia’s heart skipped a beat. It probably wasn’t safe to stay here. She left the store area and made her way back to the deck. As she was exiting the ship’s interior, something grabbed at her foot. Varia flipped her tail hard, ripping free from the grasp and bolting a few feet away. She stopped, gills fluttering anxiously, and looked to see who had grabbed her. But there was no one there. Varia scolded herself. It had to be seaweed, nothing more.
Although the ship intrigued her, it also had her spooked, so she decided to leave. Varia continued on for sometime, but the anxiety back at the ship had drained her. She was suddenly feeling quite tired, so she tried surfacing. The water was still rough, but this time she was able to make out one of the islands in the distance. She dove down again, then kept count as she swam in the island’s direction. Sure enough, she poked her head out of the water just inches from the sand. She pulled herself onto the small island. It wasn’t much of a reprieve, but it would do. Varia sat there in the rain. She realized she had brought a bottle with her, so she examined it a bit more while she waited for the rain to let up. The label was destroyed from years in the ocean. She wondered what it was? What had her ancestors been shipping on some fateful night long ago?
Varia doodled the family crest in the wet sand. A long time passed. Her stomach growled. Then finally, the rain returned to a faint drizzle once more. Varia stood on her tiptoes, fighting back shivers, and looked for her house. Luckily, the mansion was hard to miss. She set her sights, then reentered the water.
******
Varia had long avoided the upstairs of La Bienenne mansion. The upstairs had been her parents’ domain, she didn’t feel at home there. More of the furniture and art was missing there as well, driving home the point that she was alone. But the mystery of the sunken ship had been nagging at her, and since it was still raining on and off, it wasn’t as if she had anything else to do. So about three days after her discovery, Varia made her way towards the western wing and her father’s old office.
As far as Varia could tell, her father had burned a lot of things in his office before he left. There had been so much in the fireplace it hadn’t all been able to burn. At the top was a partially scorched ledger of some sort and stack of small notebooks. These, she had previously learned, were filled with shorthand and were impossible for her to decipher. The rest of the papers were nothing but ash. However, the shelves were not empty. There were other books here and there, and one of them, hopefully, would detail some of their family’s business history.
Varia parked herself at her father’s desk with some reluctance. If it wasn’t so far away, she simply would have gathered it all up and brought it back down to her makeshift study in the east wing. She thumbed through book after book. A lot of it didn’t make sense to her, but she was relatively sure it wasn’t what she was looking for.
About six hours into her search, she finally found something promising. Wedged behind a bookend, on a top shelf, was a thick crimson colored book. It looked old and handmade too. On the front was a hand-painted La Bienenne family crest. When Varia cracked it open, it groaned from disuse. She ran her hand over the cursive writing on the inside cover. “La Bienenne Family History. 1200-” She read aloud. There was no end date added. She began reading. There were also drawings and snippets from news articles. It chronicled the start of the La Bienenne empire. From Esceban L’Bi’nen, the first to break ground on this land, to his granddaughter Yu’tol L’Bien’n who ran their first factory. Varia noted the part where it mentioned the six children Esceban and Yu’tol had together, but chose to ignore it. By the fifth generation, the family named had been official changed to La Bienenne to match the times. Their empire expanded quickly with each generation. There were faded news clippings pasted in for just about every new housing complex, storefront, and factory the family had built. It all seemed rather grand and triumphant, but Varia had to wonder if historians would have other things to say on the subject. The book was almost certainly made by a La Bienenne and that person was bound to be a little biased.
As dusk fell, Varia was forced to turn a light on to continue reading. When she hit the fifteen hundreds, she found a page that mentioned a ship. “The La Bienenne empire has entered the shipping industry today.” She read aloud. “Their flagship vessel, ‘LB Gold’, set sail from the family’s dock this morning with crates full of their signature liquors. The family promises a fleet of ships by the end of the decade, and with that, a hundred jobs for the hungry townsfolk. Only time will tell.” Varia could guess how that went. A few pages later, she found another entry.
”Father was enraged upon hearing about the loss of our ship.” The diary said. “You know how he gets about money. If he catches you overtipping a server or passing a coin left in the street, he will scream until his face is blue. I told him it was his fault for insisting we up our shipments in the middle of the stormy season, but he was having none of it. I redirected the conversation by bringing up the duke again. The thought of finally getting a La Bienenne to marry into royalty always brightens his mood. The duke is probably the second most revolting man I’ve ever met (after Father of course, haha!) but if I got to be a duchess I’d marry literally anything!”
It sounded like they were talking about the ship she had found. She shouldn’t be surprised to hear that it was greed that caused the wreck and, probably, loss of precious lives. Varia skimmed through the pages. It looked like the book went on for a couple hundred more years. She yawned. The rest of her family’s shady history would have to wait until tomorrow.
******
”And I found out that my great-great grandmother was also a swimmer in her youth. That’s why her father tried to privatize the ocean… which I don’t condone, of course, but it’s nice to have that connection.” Varia said.
”Fascinating.” Azura said. She was flipping through the family history.
”It ends rather abruptly in eighteen forty-two. Based on what’s there, I think that means my great aunt Bethina was the one who made it. There’s a picture there towards the end. She looks quite a bit like me.”
”Yes and she’s rather pretty.”
Varia flushed when she heard that. Had Azura just complimented her? She sipped her drink to avoid eye contact. ”I know my family’s history can be unsavory, but I can’t help being curious. Do you think it’s bad of me to want to know more about them?”
”Not at all. It’s only natural.” Azura said. “And just because they were criminals, doesn’t mean you are. You’ve tried to make things right with the townspeople. That’s all you can do.”
”Thanks.” Varia said quietly.
”You know, I’m accompanying a friend to the city next week to do some birthday shopping. I could check the public library for more information on your family, if you’d like. Maybe you could do a few additions to the book.”
”Oh, that’s a good idea!”
”Glad you like it. I’ll take a few notes and bring back anything I find.” Azura smiled.
Varia blushed. “I’ll be… looking forward to it.”
******
Azura had been back from their trip for several days, but hadn’t stopped by with the information yet. Varia couldn’t help feeling like they were dodging her, but it was probably in her head. She had spent the last two weeks swimming, making up for all the lost time. It had greatly improved her mood.
Eventually, Varia decided to take a small break and head into town. She got dressed in something other than a bathing suit for the first time in many days, then made her way to Azura’s tailor shop. When she entered the shop, the little bell above the door jingled merrily. Azura looked up from the shelf they were organizing. “Oh, hello.” They said.
”Hi.” Varia replied. She noticed Azura had their hair braided today. She hadn’t seen them with that style before, but it looked nice.
”Let me finish rearranging this, then we can hang out.” Azura said.
”Okay.” Varia wandered around the shop for a moment. It looked much the same as when she last saw it.
”Alright,” Azura moved behind the counter and took a seat. “What’s up?”
”Oh, not much. Just… haven’t seen you for a while.”
”I actually got a job making a wedding gown, so I’ve been busy with that.”
”Ooh, exciting.”
”It is.” Azura nodded.
”Uh… it’s okay if you didn’t but, I was wondering if you looked into my family history at the library like you had mentioned. It’s not a big deal just…”
”I did.”
”Oh, okay. What did you find?”
”A lot actually. They have two dinky old computers there, but I spent half an afternoon on one of them. I believe the final tally was one hundred and eighty-seven thousand fifty-six hits on the name La Bienenne.”
”Wow.”
”Yeah.”
”Was there anything interesting?”
”Well…” Azura looked away. “I don’t know about ‘interesting’, but there were a lot of negative accounts.”
”Of course.” Varia said quietly.
”Wh- It might be too much.”
”It’s okay. I know my family has done a lot of bad things. I’m not happy about it, but it’s not as if it will be shocking.”
”Are you sure?”
”Yes.”
Azura sighed, then pulled a small, digital camera out. “I took photos because… there was just so much to document.”
Varia took the camera. She had never used one before, so Azura had to show her how to flip through the images. She sat down on a spare chair and began reading. Azura was right, it was really bad. Mistreating employees, destroying natural resources, incest, murder, even supporting slavery. Her great-great-great uncle had actually been accused of cannibalism, pedophilia, and consistently selling spoiled product to orphanages and hospitals. If there was a way to screw someone over or make a person’s life worse, the La Bienennes had invented it. There was an account about her shipwreck too. According to this account, the shipment was a cover for an illegal side business, which was why it had been so important to ship during rough waters. The captain was reportedly executed for losing the cargo and the other shipmates (who were all minors) were fired afterwards, despite the near death encounter. The La Bienenne ships were built so poorly, they crashed and sunk more often than not. The entire fleet had been sold after only a sixty years of operation. Varia knew this because the man they sold the ships to filed a lawsuit against them, which of course they somehow won.
But worst of all, were the accounts of her own father’s business dealings. The way he had dominated every single person who dared step into his lane. He filed suits against everyone, their mother, and their gextro if he had to. No one was allowed to be in business but him, apparently. The suit the royal families had filed did involve land ownership and business holdings as she had been told, but it was much worse than that. They sited seventeen purported violations of royal law, which essentially meant her father had been committing borderline war crimes for decades. And her mother and brothers had helped.
Varia gently sat the camera on the counter. “So… do you need to talk about it?” Azura asked.
”No I-“ Varia stared at the section of faded wallpaper in front of her, the first sting of tears forming behind her eyes. “This was a mistake.” She whispered. “A horrible, horrible mistake.”
”Varia, you are not them. You are not your ancestors.”
”But… they were evil. Every single one. For hundreds of years. My own father-“
”But you’re not your father.”
”Not yet.”
”Varia-“
”I live in a house built by- by child slaves, made with crystals and woods that don’t even exist anymore. It’s a house… no a legacy of blood and atrocities. I don’t- I don’t want any part of it anymore.”
”Varia, I’m sorry.”
”No,” She wiped her eyes. “It’s not your fault. I’m the bad seed. I’m the one everyone despises.” Before Azura could respond, Varia left the tailor’s shop and ran straight home.
******
For the first time in her life, even swimming couldn’t cheer Varia up. But still, she swam and swam and swam until each movement of her tail caused her immense pain. She let her stomach stay empty until she was too weak to swim. The pain was the closest thing to comfort she could find. At least that was something she deserved, because she certainly didn’t deserve her things or her house or her money. Definitely not her only friend.
Varia didn’t know what she could ever do to repay the world. The La Bienennes were pure evil, from start to finish. The best thing she could do was make sure she never ever had a child, so the buck would stop with her. If her parents were continuing their rein of terror on Earth, there wasn’t much she could do about that though. She wished she had never found that bottle, that she had never looked into the mystery of the ship. Of course, a ship stamped ‘La Bienenne’ could only have been bad. It was like that name was a curse.
Varia didn’t do anything but swim and cry for three months. She lost a bunch of weight and her hair started falling out when she brushed it, so she just stopped brushing it. It took her by surprise one afternoon when she heard the front gate buzzer going off. She tried to ignore it, but it buzzed continuously for more than ten minutes.
”What do you want?” Varia said into the speaker.
”Varia, it’s me.” Azura said. “Please let me in.”
”I’m very busy today.”
”No you aren’t. Let me in.” Azura said. The hard tone in her voice shocked Varia. Without thinking, she opened the gates. Naturally, a few minutes later, she could hear knocking on the door.
Varia opened it part way. “Azura, please go away.”
”No.” Azura said. “What is this?” She gestured to the disgusting basket of goop she was holding carefully with a stick. It was overflowing with rancid food and insects.
”I don’t know.” Varia said honestly.
”It’s your food delivery. Last month’s delivery. Jypsie left this at the gate when you wouldn’t let him up last month and when he found this today, he came right to me.”
”I guess I forgot.”
”Forgot? What have you been eating for the past month, then?”
”I have a garden.”
”But do you have bread or meat or soap?” Azura asked. Varia shrugged the question off. “Do you know why I’m here?”
”…No.”
”Because we all thought you died.” Azura said. “You have rotten food at your front gate and months worth of mail. Even if we don’t see you that often, at least we notice a light on or something. Signs of life.”
”And they wanted to know if it was safe to throw the party?” Varia asked bitterly.
”Don’t do that.” Azura said, her voice breaking slightly. “I really thought you were dead.”
“Kinda wish I was.” She muttered.
”Come here.” Azura pushed her way into Varia’s house and pulled her into a hug. Varia froze. Azura had never made contact with her like that before. But there she was, with her crystal covered hands pressed firmly against Varia’s back. Absurdly, Varia’s mind was consumed with the realization that Azura’s hair smelled like lavender. “Hmm.” Azura snuggled closer, though the surprised Varia still wasn’t reciprocating. “I have something for you. I hope it helps.”
”Y-yeah?”
”Mhm.” Azura eventually pulled back. She pulled her digital camera out of her pocket. “This is what started this all, so I think we need to get rid of it. Symbolically rid ourselves of the situation.”
”Oh…” Varia realized Azura was wrong. The camera hadn’t started everything.
”Would you rather burn it or chuck it into the ocean?”
Varia blinked. “Ocean. But I… have to get something first.”
”Okay, I’ll meet you outside then.” She squeezed Varia’s arm, then headed towards the kitchen and the beach exit.
A few minutes later, Varia met Azura on the beach. “I can buy you a new camera, it doesn’t seem fair to make you destroy it.”
”Well, actually it’s just the little chip we have to toss and I have a spare at home.” Azura looked at the item in her hand. “Are you ready?”
”Yes.” Varia had gone upstairs to grab the history book, but half way down the hall she realized that destroying it wouldn’t solve anything. Her family’s account of the facts may have been very wrong, but erasing their version wouldn’t fix what had happened. So she would let Azura destroy the photos, so that maybe they would feel better. But Varia didn’t think it would help her. She could never unlearn who she was. She took one last look at the bottle, then chucked it into the sea. It was just one reminder too many and therefore, it had to be the first to go.
”Huhyeah!” Azura chucked the little chip into the ocean. Then the pair watched the items disappear.
”I made sure to take the top off, so hopefully the bottle won’t just wash back up on my beach.”
”Smart.” Azura nodded.
”Were… all those photos really on that chip… thing?”
”Yes.”
”Wow. I really don’t understand technology.” Varia said.
Azura chuckled. “You need to get out more, even I know about digital cameras. It’s interesting that someone so rich doesn’t have anything modern.” They remarked.
”Maybe I’ll buy a television.” Varia said.
”Ah, but if you bought a TV, what would be my excuse to have you over for movie night?”
”Wh- Movie night?”
”I have an old box TV upstairs. Sometimes Addy brings me movies to watch. I can introduce you to all my favorites.”
Varia felt her face getting hot. “Maybe.”
”I feel like all we ever do is chatter in my shop. Real friends have lunches and sleepovers and share secrets, or so I’m told.”
”Oh.”
”Now come on.” Azura said, adopting that stern tone again. “I’m fixing you something to eat. I promise not to use any of the spoiled stuff.”
Varia glanced at the ocean. She wasn’t sure she could get through the day without swimming. When she was swimming, there was no room for thoughts. Only the flipping of her tail and the constant, distracting pain. But maybe there were better ways to take her mind off of things. She nodded, then followed Azura inside. If anyone could help her put her history behind her, they could. One thing was clear to Varia though, she was never deep diving again. Somethings were better left at the bottom of the ocean.