Mezlin and Ashten's Backstory

Mezlin and Ashten’s Backstory
A short summary


Ash becomes an orphan after their mother was taken by a deadly sickness over the winter. He ran away after being left with his dad. He couldn't stand such a toxic household. They go to live their life in an Orphanage but never find a new home. No one wanted to adopt a child who was so quiet and “selfish”. He ran away from home once again after being in the orphanage for long enough. He just wanted to be alone. 
***
Years pass and at the age of 13, Ash runs away and lives on the streets. They last a few weeks on low-priced meals and small jobs around the town.
They eventually find an abandoned home and rebuild their life there. As they gain enough money, finding a new job, they bought the old house and refurbished it. They had lied to the landlord and acted as though they had never seen the house before the purchase. 

***
Years pass and they become more and more insecure about their body. Relationships come and pass, and Ash learns more about their sexuality: Bisexual.
Their last relationship lasted the longest. They found themself with a strong-hearted Doberman. It went well, that is, until insecurities got the best of Ash.
Ash started to feel different over time. They didn’t feel comfortable with their body and ultimately ended up becoming transgender.
Their partner didn’t take them seriously with this which made them very uncomfortable.
They broke up after months of arguing and Ash felt unloved.
 ***
Years passed before Ash met someone who would change their life forever: Mezlin.
Mezlin was the sweetest friend Ash had ever had. They met Mezlin near an alleyway on their way back from the store. Mezlin smoothly stepped out of the black, stopping Ash, and circling around him. He leaned over and met Ash’s eyes, saying, “It’s a little late for a boy like you to be out on your own, isn’t it?” His smooth voice had sent a small shiver across Ash’s spine.
Ash had stuttered, a bit took aback. He normally ignored strangers on the streets, but they didn’t feel fear from this encounter.
Ash had replied with a nervous laugh and their conversation shifted to a number of questions from the Vernid. Ash had answered them all honestly. They trusted the stranger.
From then on Mezlin and Ash planned to meet up for lunch sometime that week.
The week came and went with great pleasure. The lunch went great, and though Ash didn’t see the lunch as anything more than a lunch, Mezlin clearly thought otherwise. His flirty, witty words only proved his point.
Weeks passed, and the two became inseparable. Mezlin made Ash feel safe and comfortable, despite his large, dominant appearance.
As the two got to know each other, they became closer and closer. After about a year the two finally committed to a relationship.
Ash had a few minimal problems with Mezlin; a big one regarding his love of flirtatious actions. It made Ash feel a bit uncomfortable, but they knew Mezlin meant well. He loved messing with folks and was seen as a model by most.
Many begged Mezlin for an exchange of payment, whether it be personal, or a show of activity. Mezlin always declined any sort of physical attention that would break the rules of his and Ash’s relationship. That didn’t stop him from showing off at parties or clubs.
***
A few more years passed and the two had been getting along great in their relationship. Mezlin would protect Ash against anyone who tried to bully them for being weak.
He set his main priority to keep Ash safe at all times.
It was a misty morning and Ash was still sleeping. They kept hearing a small racket from the kitchen. It annoyed him, but they still laid their eyes closed. It sounded again, and Ash groaned.
It suddenly fell completely silent. Ash sat up, confused. They blinked, looking around.
There was nothing. It was all still.
“Boo.” Mezlin’s face appeared beside Ash, a large, charming grin, shone through his soft velvety voice.
Ash screamed, startled. They soon laughed, nuzzling into Mezlin’s cheek. “Don’t do that” they breathed.
Mezlin sat on the bed next to Ash, wrapping his arm around them. They looked at each other for a moment, before Ash tilted their head.
“What?” Ash asked, narrowing their eyes.
Mezlin stayed quiet, his ears laid down. His tail curled around himself, and Ash stared.
Mezlin’s tail was curled around something. Ash narrowed his eyes, trying to figure out what it was. They finally let out a soft breath, as if it were their last.
Their eyes were fixed upon a small box, and inside that box laid a ring.
Mezlin pressed his cheek against Ash’s, holding a grin.
No one spoke for a moment, before Mezlin murmured, “Do I even need to ask?” He chuckled softly.
Ash let out another breath and hugged him. “Of course not” They smiled. Their tail wagged.
“Good. I’ll be getting you that suit too, then.” Mezlin softly kissed them on the cheek and got up off the bed. “I’ll go getcha something to eat, Love.” He then turned back around. “You better start planning.” He joked.
***
First came the suit, then came the significant use of masculine talk around Ash.
They felt uncomfortable. Why would they feel uncomfortable? It was soon to be their wedding day, shouldn’t they be happy? Clearly not.
It was the same cycle all over again. A partner, the attention, the overuse of pronouns, and gender, resulting in an indescribable dysphoria.
Why would this have happened now? It’s been years. Mezlin made them feel safe their whole life. Why did it wear off now?
There were a few days when Ash stood in the mirror, imagining makeup, or fancier clothes. They didn’t know how to feel. They felt comforted by the “fantasy”, but at the same time, it all felt wrong.
They went on with their life, despite the constant trigger words. 

The weird behavior from Ash caught Mezlin’s attention. He would constantly ask Ash what was wrong, but he got no response. He asked them what he did wrong. No response.
Mezlin began to overthink. He wondered if it was the right time for their marriage. 

A few weeks went by and the two felt a lot of anxiety between each other. It was quieter now.
Morning came and Ash woke up with a slight jolt. Mezlin was standing in front of the bedroom door, his head high,  and eyes marked on them.
“I need to know why you're ignoring me,” He said through his teeth.
Ash got up, and tried to squeeze past him, but he just glared down at the Collie. 

“I-It’s nothing, I’m just not ready for our wedding…” Ash mumbled, forcing themself to unlock from Mezlin’s eyes.
“That’s clearly not it. You wouldn’t be so weird.”
Ash fell silent, staring at the ground.
Mezlin gazed for a moment, before forcefully wrapping his arm around Ash, and setting him atop the bed. “Stay.”
Ash tensed up. They were scared for the first time. Flashbacks of their old partner washed through their anxiety.
“What is it.” He clenched his hands around Ash’s arms.
Ash once again didn’t reply.
“You can’t keep hiding this shit from me, making me feel like I’m doing something wrong…” His voice fell deep.  
“It’ll pass…” Ash whispered.
“What will pass? Because it’s been weeks now. Almost a month.” His piercing eyes seemed to glow with sadness and rage.
“My problems…”
“We were supposed to prepare for the wedding a week and a half ago. But you coward out and ran out of the shop like a child. What the fuck happened? Is it really that hard to pick out a suit for yourself?” Mezlin growled. “Not to mention, you never even went back.”
“It’s not my fault…” Ash found themself wrapping their arms tightly around themself.
“If you would tell me what’s going on with you, maybe I can confirm that.”
“It’s personal stuff…”
“And I’m your boyfriend.” Purple met teal iris.
“It’s– There’s something you don’t know…”
Mezlin fell silent, his eyes hesitating on one spot.
“I-I was once female…”
All fell silent.
 “The fuck does that mean, Ash?” Hatred reeked in his voice.
“I’m a trans guy…”
Mezlin narrowed his eyes. “You’re just now bringing this up?” He let go of Ash’s arms, turning his back. His eyes fixed the wall.
“I thought you would’ve known…” He whispered.
“You hide your body from me, but in my eyes, it was just insecurities. You’re asexual, anyways.”
“It’s both…”
The room was quiet for a good five minutes.
Mezlin cleared his throat. “Well, that doesn’t change much, does it?”
He scanned Ash up and down. “You’re still my boy…”
“I…” Ashten choked, unable to speak.
“Does it?” Mezlin had tears pricking at the edges of his eyes.
Ashten paused, taking a breath. He met Mezlin’s eyes. “ I’ve been having second thoughts and dysphoria lately,” He managed to say without a shake. “ As well as slight sexuality thoughts.”
Mezlin stared. He closed his eyes. He let out a long breath that felt like his last. He didn’t speak. His hands started to shake. A sudden urge forced him up and he stood over Ashten, with narrowed eyes and a disappointed frown. He stopped himself from doing anything he’d regret, and slowly walked out of the room, turning his back to Ashten.
***
Mezlin started going insane after a few weeks. He did not talk to Ashten, and paid for a hotel.
He hadn’t spoken to his finance since walking out of that room. He had been alone for weeks on end. He was left with his thoughts; left to overthink.
He didn’t know what to do. He ended up going back to a part of his life he never thought would come back to him: Hallucinogenics.
He hated himself for it but figured it would be better than going back to addictive drinking. Plus, it helped him forget. He felt free and didn’t overthink. He was in his own world. The only downside to this…
Ash…? Is that you?
Ash… come back…
Please don’t change…
I can’t change myself to be with you…
Mezlin gasped, waking. He raked his hands down his face. Hallucination…
Stupid… He gently pounded on his forehead.
He pushed himself up. He missed Ash… but he was scared. He didn’t want to be left behind. He figured either way it would happen, and his best chance would be to head back home.
When he arrived, he paused. His heart fell. He couldn’t do it. But it was too late.
A figure opened the door and stared into his eyes.
No one stirred. It was as if the world had stopped moving.
Ashten stepped forward and let out a small sigh. He then turned around and went inside.
Mezlin followed slowly. He met him in the living room.
“Did you… make up your mind?”
Ashten stared. He narrowed his eyes. “No… but you leaving me for weeks didn’t help anything.”
“I didn’t want to hurt anyone,” Mezlin mumbled.
“You’d never hurt me…” Ashten locked eyes.
“You don’t know that,” He looked away.
The two sat in silence after that moment. Ashten ended up walking out of the house. Mezlin didn’t want to think about where he could be going.
Mezlin sighed and slumped his way to his bedroom. Even though Ash wasn’t with him, he felt comfort from it.
He laid himself flat against the bed, grabbing his pillow and covering his face.
Hours went by and he found himself becoming more depressed. He grabbed his bag and grabbed his syringe. He didn’t want to be here right now.
A sudden creak made him flinch.
Ashten opened the door with a handful of books. He almost stopped dead once he saw Mezlin. A loud few bangs crashed against the wooden floor as he loosened his grip. He didn’t speak. His eyes and mouth were open in pure shock at the site before him.
Mezlin stared back, his heart stopping. “Ash…”
Ashten continued staring, his eyes pricked with tears. A rush of anger pushed through him before he ran out of the room, leaving his books behind.

Mezlin sighed, sitting atop his bed. He spent the rest of the night overthinking before he passed out. He didn’t know what to do at this point.

***
Mezlin’s eyes blinked open. He groaned, putting a paw to his head. It had been weeks of constant silence between the two partners. Mezlin had claimed their bedroom as his own at this point and glared at Ash at any attempt to join him.
His use of contents had gotten worse. It was the only way to make the pain go down.
He started locking his door. He didn’t want Ash to see him like this. He wanted to be alone.
He felt warmth behind him. He sat up and looked around.
His eyes met Ashten’s.
Mezlin growled and pushed himself away from the Collie. “Why are you here?” He growled through his teeth.
Ashten sat there with his shoulders tensed. “I figured you’d want some sort of comfort. You’ve locked me out for over two weeks and have been tripping on hallucinogenics every few hours.”
“I haven't even touched-” Mezlin groggily looked down. Syringes laid beside him. An orange liquid stained the bed. Shit
“What is so wrong with my dysphoria?” Ashten narrowed his eyes.
Mezlin clenched his fist, his hand shaking. “What do you think?  I’m fucking gay, Ash.”
Ashten sighed, his ears falling back. “That’s not my fault…” he mumbled.
“And at this point, whether you change gender or sexuality, I’m screwed.”
Ash held questionable eyes.
“Change your gender- boom, can’t date a girl if I’m fucking gay, right?” Mezlin continued, “Change your Sexuality… Well, I guess that really just depends on…” He stopped. His eyes scanned the blanket.
“I’m not even saying any of that would happen…”
“Sure as hell seems like it,” Mezlin scoffed. “You wouldn’t talk about it so much if not.”
Ashten fell silent. He took a deep breath. “I don’t want to live my life in an uncomfortable skin, but I love you.”
“Just make up your fucking mind.” He screamed. His hands fell over his head as he curled into a ball atop the bed. “...Please…” His voice cracked.
Soft sobbing hit the ground in tears. Mezlin’s arms completely covered his face.
Ashten felt something stuck in his throat. “I’m trying…” He felt his body on edge of collapse.