In the Pursuit of Pancakes

Euurrggabbahahahab. Euurrgagabahhaaa. The sound echoed through the forest. Hexanna looked down at her stomach. “Shut up will ya? I’m workin’ on it.” But it was right. It had been a hot minute since she’d ingested anything but abble wine. (Besides that bug she swallowed this morning whilst yawning.) Such was the lifestyle of the habitual wanderer. Always on the move, only owning what one could carry, and usually low on coins. But since she happened to be near a thriving tourist town right now, there were new, exciting, and hopefully profitable opportunities to explore.

Hexanna strolled into town to check it out. The place was packed for some kind of festival and there were wall to wall dex. She scoped out the dex and the stalls. Most of what was being sold were handmade crafts, not really Hexanna’s style. There weren’t any free samples either. Her stomach rumbled again. Luckily, there were still other shops and restaurants open nearby that should sell some grub.

Hexanna read the signage out front, looking for the dish that would really hit the spot. She found it at a brunch place with a little blue awning. “All you can eat pancakes and mimosas served all day.” Perfect. Hexanna slid the stack of lifted wallets into her palm and started counting her bounty. Thirty-seven, sixty. Thank god for pickpocketing! Hexanna dropped the wallets, minus the money of course, onto the bench, then pulled out her own coin pouch to hold onto them until it was time to pay her bill.

Then out of nowhere, the pouch was snatched from her hand. “Hey, what gives?!” She looked up and locked eyes with a small, red bird. It blinked, then flew off with her lunch money. Hexanna charged after it, pushing through the crowd of families. But the bird had the advantage here. By the time she got to the other side of the festival again, it was gone. Hexanna grumbled. She could go back through and try to lift more wallets. Of course, now a lot of the vendors and tourists were eyeing her angrily, and it would be harder to pickpocket them. Given the choice between the easy option and revenge, Hexanna would choose revenge nine out of ten times.

She headed into the forest, eyes to the sky. She walked for about eight minutes or so, then she spotted a flash of crimson in the treetops. There were a few choices. She could blast it off of the branch with a firebomb, but that seemed a bit harsh. Forest creatures were her friends. Maybe she could just charm and distract it while she stole back her pouch. Hexanna crept forward as quietly as she could in thigh-high leather boots. She positioned herself beneath the tree. The bird was perched on a branch just above her head. It was chittering to itself and pecking at the string on the bag until it spotted her.

”Hey, hey.” She said gently. “It’s okay. I just want my money back.” The bird watched her curiously, but it didn’t budge. Hexanna moved her hands closer. Then her stomach growled again and the bird took off. Hexanna’s hand grazed its wing as it escaped her once again. She took off running, but the little rascal was fast. Hexanna was huffing and puffing as she watched her dream of pancakes and mimosas fly away. She watched the bird make a hard right, then shoot up into a tree.

Hexanna shuffled over, clutching her side. She squinted up at the tree. She couldn’t see the bird, but were they smart enough to evade dextroluma by pretending to dart into a tree? Hexanna decided that no, a bird was not smarter than she was. There might be several creatures that could out IQ her, but not this bird. She cracked her knuckles, then planted her boot firmly against the tree. One limb at a time, Hexanna climbed that tree. “Do it for the mimosas.” She grunted as she pulled herself up. “Do it for your poor, empty stomach.”

As Hexanna reached the next branch, the bird appeared in her line of sight. “Aha.” She wheezed, spreading herself out on the branch. It wobbled a bit beneath her weight. Hexanna snatched the pouch right from under the bird’s little red bottom. “Where do you get off taking things that don’t belong to you?!” She asked.

The bird chirped and cocked its head.

”Yeah, I know what I said.” Hexanna huffed. “But I need money to live, what do you need it for?”

The bird fluttered its wings in an avian shrug.

”No witty response, huh?” Hexanna shoved the pouch into her hair for safe keeping. “Do I at least get an apology?”

If the bird was going to respond, it didn’t get a chance. The branch creaked once, then began separating itself from the tree. The bird and Hexanna stared at each other, wide eyed. Then Hexanna was falling. She tumbled down several feet, then managed to latch onto a branch. She dangled for a moment, then went flailing the last bit to the ground.

”Oh shit.” Hexanna grunted. She opened her eyes and saw the bird hovering above her face. “This is your fault, y’know.” It seemed apologetic, so she let it slide. Hexanna set up slowly, nothing seemed broken and, more importantly, she had her coins back. She got to her feet, then started back towards town. In her peripheral, she could see something small and red fluttering nearby. She ignored it and carried on. Eventually, she got back to town. A few tourists cast her odd looks as she shuffled through the festival, but she didn’t care. She had finally made it.

Hexanna stepped through the door and deeply inhaled, filling her nostrils with the smells of mushroom omelets, syrup, and fresh, buttered pancakes. She plopped down at the closest table. A waitress came over. “I want your unlimited pancakes and mimosas, please.”

”Sure.” She said. “But uh… we don’t allow pets in here.”

Hexanna glanced over and saw the little bird sitting on the back of the adjacent chair. “Its not my pet.” She hissed at it.

”Well, it still can’t be here.” The waitress said.

”Come on, bird, beat it. Haven’t you ruined my day enough already?” Hexanna glared at it. It didn’t budge.

”Ma’am?”

”Go on, shoo. Mama wants to get her brunch on.” The bird blinked.

”Either you and your pet-“

”Not my pet.”

”If the bird doesn’t leave, we can’t serve you.” The waitress said testily.

”Well then,” Hexanna said standing up, hands planted on the table. The bird just stared back at her. “There’s only one thing left to do.”

***

”Hey, quit hogging the pancakes, man.” Hexanna said, poking her fork at the bird. It chirped accommodatingly, then hopped to the side. She smiled as she watched it work a piece of the pancake in its beak. Hexanna dipped her forkful of pancake into the syrup, then shoved it into her mouth. She washed it down with her mimosa, although the combo of syrup and juice wasn’t that fantastic. Regardless, the meal was worth the wait. Sure, she would have preferred to have an endless portion to herself, but sharing a to-go box with this little plan ruiner worked too.

”You’re lucky I’m nice and I shared this with you.” Hexanna said. The bird just looked at her. They polished off the whole stack, then leaned back in mutual satisfaction. “That was good.” Hexanna huffed. The bird chirped in agreement. Then it started flapping its wings and started hovering near Hexanna’s head. “I guess that’s all you wanted, huh?” She chuckled then held out a hand. “Nice meeting you, bird. Even if you were a pain in my ass, literally.”

The bird brushed its face against her hand, then flew off towards the setting sun.