[Warpatober Day 18] Alone

Zakharia often wonders if he truly does prefer being alone.

His habits seem to show such tendencies, especially with the amount of times he's spent wandering through the Inferno all on his own. But if he really thinks about it, perhaps…it isn't something that he really likes, after all.

Especially since it would be so easy for him to fall into bed with someone, to fill the void within his heart with the throes of passion. That is, assuming the void was even there to begin with. He could never really know – he actually rarely thinks about it.

Loneliness, love, relationships… 

They are things that Zakharia rarely thinks about. He often craves someone's touch, that's something that he's clear about – especially when said person had just finished telling him about their wonderful and interesting life stories. There was something satisfying about keeping the person's story in his books, and then later on being able to embed their DNA into his skin through their lovemaking…

Perhaps what he actually craves instead were just the stories. The people who come alongside those stories were just a plus…

Zakharia starts feeling bad when that thought flits through his mind. No, no. That isn't it. He tries emptying his mind once again, wanting to go back to his usual mindless state. But the thoughts stay this time, filling him with guilt.

No… the people that he's met are not a simple afterthought. He can't say something like that about the people he loves – his sister, his friends, his on-and-off partners… He really cannot just sweep them aside just like that, not at all.

But then why? Why does he prefer to be alone? Why does he up and leave his partners to travel around the world instead of settling down and starting a life with them? Why does the thought of settling down and rooting himself into one place fill his heart with dread?

Why why why?

Zakharia sighs.

Perhaps that would remain a mystery as of now…