The Man Who Ruined My Life

We all knew what a danger it was to enter the world of our dreams at night. Myself, my father, mother and two young sisters. We led the strangest of lifestyles compared to any other family you’d find in Caland, let alone the world. By day, we went about our business, my father tended to the crops and haggled at the market. My mother watched over our home and took care of my sisters, and I kept to my studies in the schoolhouse. By night, each and every one of us fell asleep in our beds and awoke in our own separate strange worlds. Each world took strange forms based on our experiences, fears, hopes and ideas. Needless to say, all manner of people face fears on a daily basis and as such, those fears manifested in deadly fashion within our minds. What an experience it was to awake in my dreams and suddenly be pounced upon by a razor-clawed beast, or a towering fleshy monster beyond comprehension. Despite these dangers, we, the Somniums, were always prepared. Our worlds were all connected by one world in between, this being called The Void. My mother, father and I have made a habit of journeying from our own separate worlds and meeting in The Void every night upon waking up. We fall asleep first before my two young sisters and then collect them within their own worlds afterwards, as they are too young to journey to The Void by themselves. We have our nightly system, and it has worked every night for many years. In this world of dreams, we overcome our nightmares. A perfect life, with a special gift and a promising future; or so we all thought. This is the story of how one man ruined my life.

A night like any other, the deep fog of my father’s world covered the landscape. We all sat around the exterior of a small cabin which we called our home away from home. My sisters, Isa and Lienna were chasing one another around, my parents talking idly about their plans for when they wake, while I was staring idly into the distance, looking at faint shapes in the fog. As I stared blankly, one shape overtook all others. A small dark blotch, which as it approached gained more and more features. Hunched, a slight limp to its step, frazzled and messy hair and then finally, breaking free of the shroud, a disfigured face met my gaze only slightly in the distance. I let out an involuntary gasp and jumped up as I saw the enormous black pupils with bloodshot veins along the rims of the impossibly tired yet terrified eyes. A tired jaw hanging slightly open to reveal chipped and crooked teeth. The man’s hair stood on end as he desperately limped closer and closer. His body was covered in open wounds, gashes and tattered clothes. In utter shock and fright, my sisters began screaming and crying, my father ran towards the man not knowing if he was a friend or foe. “Are you okay?” my father said in a shout. “Who are you, what did this to you?” The sound of my father’s words seemed to instill terror in the man, his hair stood even further on end, his massive pupils shrunk and he proceeded to nearly throw himself onto my father, trying to put his finger over his mouth in a shushing motion. He then turned behind him, as if afraid father’s commotion would alert something following him in the mist. He rasped out the word “Somnium”, before proceeding to collapse into my fathers arms. Giving eachother a bewildered look, my parents told me to keep my sisters outside as they tended to the man. None of us knew what to think or expect. How had this man known our family name? Where had he come from?

The muffled voices of my parents fretting over the situation could be heard by myself and my sisters as we sat outside, the three of us holding our breath in anticipation. As my sisters focused their efforts on listening in, my eyes were locked onto the horizon, horrified at the thought of what that man was so afraid of. Hours passed as the man lay motionless on the bed within the cabin, our daily routine was beginning, and we needed to adjust our plans accordingly for our surprise guest. My mother and sisters decided to wake up, resigning themselves to their responsibilities of the day while father and I tried to get to the bottom of the situation. We sat with the man, every so often whispering a question to him and hoping for a response, until finally he croaked out a response to the question: “What is your name?”. “Brandy” he said in a whisper. “Brandy… Somnium.” Father’s eyes widened and he turned his head to me in shock at the revelation. Neither of us had seen or heard of a Brandy Somnium before. “I don’t understand.”, said my father. “Where did you come from? What did this to you?” I saw the strange man, Brandy, calculating what to say in response. I didn’t know if I trusted him, I’m sure father felt the same way. We waited until he replied, “What is the year?”, father looked puzzled. “1770”, he replied. Brandy looked back at him in shock, a wide smile grew on his face. “I’ve lived… this long?” he croaked out, talking to himself. Another strange remark. In spite of his condition, he looked like he couldn’t be over 40 years of age to me. “Where did you come from?” father repeated. “The last time I knew what year it was… the year was 1626.” In immediate disbelief my father asserted, “No. No, no you aren’t.” He stood and began examining Brandy closer. “There’s no way you are.” “You haven’t heard… of Brandy Somnium?” he asked, voice more audible than before. “What is my… legacy?” He asked, staring up at my father like a wounded animal. My father replied, “We haven’t heard of you. We don’t know you, it isn’t possible for someone to be so old.” He said, as if trying to convince himself. “Damn!” Brandy said in a snarl, “The boy… he erased me, I know it! That little bastard-” realizing that he’d said more than he cared to share, Brandy froze, a moment of dead silence filled the air before he composed himself, as much as one in his state could compose themself. “My son; have you heard his name before…? Sullivan Somnium.” Afraid of what his reaction would be yet still wanting more information, father slowly nodded yes. I saw him flinch as Brandy slammed his fist down onto the table, veins pulsing on his neck and teeth gnashing, the name of his own son angered him greatly. “Preserve your own name, leave your own father forgotten!” He was shouting now, his voice had something of a rattle to it, it sounded like he hadn’t shouted in a long, long time. “I bet he was so proud of himself, that little ass. Know-it-all, died thinking he was right all along! No! I’m here with his children’s children’s children! I’ve outlived him! I was right!” Father and I backed up from him as he ranted and raved. Still wondering why Brandy looked so frightened when we first found him, I peered out the window in search of what he could have been running from. “Have you been in The Void this entire time?” father asked, trying to quell Brandy’s rage. “What the hell is that?” he replied in a hiss. “The dark world, full of twisted trees with no living things.” Brandy let out a mixture of laughs and coughs in response. “So it has a name now? Well… there’s much more than trees, and there are many, many living things.” He said, a hatred still present as he went on. “I’ve been stuck in there, yes. My wife, daughter and I.” “Why?” father replied. Brandy once again froze in thought, jaw slacked and hanging open. As he thought I continued to glance outside, where deep in the fog, I saw the slightest of shapes. “I see something out there.” At that, the limp and lifeless Brandy suddenly sprung to life. He looked absolutely terrified. Shouting in nearly a wail he ran to me and pushed me aside. “Where is it? Point it out to me boy!” I looked up at his horrified eyes scanning the horizon from left to right and when I looked back at the horizon, the strange shape I’d seen had vanished. “It's gone.” I said with surprise and fear of what the old man’s reaction would be. He ignored my words however, still staring intently. “It was probably your imagination,” father said in a frightened tone. As he said that, he and I both shared a look of unease. “What is it you’re so afraid of?”, my father asked. “What cut you up like this, what did you think was out there?”. Brandy sighed and looked towards my father. “I’m going to warn you, just as I tried so hard to warn my foolish son. I hope you both will heed my warning.” He said, that being the most proper sentence he’d managed to cough out thus far. “What is your name?” He asked my father. He and I glanced at eachother again, we knew Brandy would hate the answer. My father stared at Brandy for a moment before answering. “Sullivan.” Brandy’s eyes grew wide. “Sullivan Somnium the fifth.”

“Sullivan Somnium the fifth.” Brandy repeated back with a blank expression. He quickly turned his head to me. “You. I don’t suppose you’d be the sixth.” He said, now a tone of anger and defeat in his voice. I nodded my head no, looking back on it I don’t know what he’d have done if I was. He turned back to my father. Well, Sullivan.” He began, saying the name with a nasty candor. “I will warn you that…” He paused once more. During this pause, I looked up at his face, into his eyes. The fear within him, the fear that was always there, had seemingly vanished for these words. “This world is… dangerous. You have to be careful or you could end up hurt; just like me.” He motioned towards a wound on his leg. “I’d been lost for so long, I’d been afraid that something may have followed me. Surely it was nothing.” He said, the corners of his mouth contorting to a disgusting grin. My father didn’t seem to notice, but I knew the eyes of a liar. “Trust me…” Father began. “We have plenty of experience with the dangers this realm has to offer.” He gestured towards a scar of his own across his arm, left by an arachnid creature from his childhood. “You don’t believe that, do you father?”, I said aloud, still fearful of Brandy but overcome with anger. “He was clearly running from something, something must be coming!” The two men looked shocked at my words, both for different reasons. “Well is that so-” Brandy said, voice wavering. Father was quick to cut him off. “Why would he not be telling the truth, son? If it's true that we’re somehow his flesh and blood then why would he mean us harm?” He looked towards Brandy nervously for some sort of affirmation. Brandy haphazardly looked at him, and nodded after picking up on the gesture. “Please excuse us.” Father said to Brandy, taking my hand and leading me outside. Father and I had a talk. He told me that blood is a bond stronger than any other, that while Brandy sounded angry, even hateful towards his son, that he had been stuck in a terrifying place like The Void for some time. That he had some sort of right to act the way that he did because of whatever trauma he may have endured. He told me that he surely loved his son, just as any father would, and that he’d come to care for us as well. My father liked to see the good in everyone, it's what I expected from him. He was such a kind man, that's what I’ll always remember about him. His kindness. It didn’t save his life though. As father talked my ear off about the angel that lived within Brandy, I glanced up towards the window, and there Brandy was… just staring. Not towards me, not towards my father; but towards the foggy horizon, with the fear of a thousand men in his eyes.

Night had fallen, once again. Hours before that I woke up, went about my day, and for that entire day I thought of those moments in the cabin with Brandy and my father. I thought of every face, expression and glance I caught him making. I thought of his terror, and his terrible attempt at keeping up a lie. As I think of it now, I wonder why he truly did it. Perhaps to buy himself some time, use us as bait. Perhaps it was because he truly hated that his son’s name had outlasted his own in the minds of everyone else. Could a man truly have so much pride in him? So much hate? And then to think that I came from such a man, in one way or another. I knew something was wrong, and that something may be coming. If only I had truly known what it was, and what would happen on that night. My mother and I were sitting together on the porch, her looking at me with concern as I continued my vigil towards the foggy horizon. “I don’t think we’re safe.”, I said to her. “Something followed him. Something is coming.” “Then we’ll be ready.” She said to me with a smile. “Nothing has happened that we couldn’t handle. Your father is a strong man.” She glanced inside through the window at him, where he was introducing my sisters to the man. “And your mother is pretty strong too.” She smiled brightly, putting up her arms like a bodybuilder showing off their muscles. We both laughed and smiled. She always knew how to make me feel better. She could always make me smile. My father, Isa and Lienna came out of the cabin and sat on the porch with us. The warm light from the cabin illuminated all of our faces as we took a well needed break from the topic of Brandy, and just went on to discuss how our days had gone. Isa had almost learned to lace her shoes, Lienna had found a strange lizard hiding in the crops of our farm. Father talked to his brother about the situation and they began working on a family tree. Mother stayed home and worked on making me a coat for the coming winter, my last one had been torn by a bramble bush. We all had our separate adventures during the day. What had Brandy been doing? I imagine he stared at the foggy horizon; all day long. We talked for what could have been hours, it was something we’d always do to make the nights pass us by. When the subject eventually did make its rounds back to Brandy, a sort of discomfort washed over us all.

After everyone was on the same page about the new de facto member of our family, we all split up around the outside of the cabin to go about our own hobbies and activities while we waited for morning. Mother and father on the porch. Lienna and Isa playing in the field, and me, sitting at the back of the cabin in the dark, trying to get my mind off of it all. The fear of the unknown was killing me, but like my father, I was trying to convince myself it was nothing. Almost by instinct, my ears perked up at a creaking sound. I turned to my right, towards the wooden steps descending from the back exit of the cabin. Up those steps, the door slowly creaking open. Out popped Brandy’s head, darting left and right. Not having seen me, he began to tiptoe down the steps, trying to go unnoticed. “Brandy!” I shouted at him. He looked at me like an animal, the white of his eyes barely visible in a state of panic. Realizing it was me, he furrowed his brow and started to run. I chased him as far as I could, pushing through the tall grass he’d darted towards with my arms outstretched. I leapt and clung onto his arm, I remember the feeling of his scarred, lumpy skin as I held on for dear life. “Where do you think you’re going?” I shouted at him. He began flailing his arm in desperation. “My… name… will… live!” He managed to groan as he broke free from my grasp. I fell to the ground and felt his boots ramming into my head and shoulders. I looked up at him, and he smiled down at me, looking so proud of himself. “You thought you were so clever. Little know-it-all, little brat!” he rasped. “I won’t remember you.” He started to run once again, I remember shouting at him desperately as he vanished into the trees. “Brandy! Tell me what's coming! Why are you doing this to us? Brandy!” I screamed. In an instant, my father picked me up. “Is he gone?” he asked, sounding like he knew something that I didn’t. I nodded, we both shared a look of fright as he told me, “You have to see this.”

We creeped around the corner, father gasped at the sight. “It's closer.” He said to himself. We joined mother standing on the porch; Isa and Lienna were hiding inside, I saw them peeking through the window. “How is it moving?”, father asked. “It's breaking the ground beneath it. Look.” She handed him binoculars, he gnashed his teeth as he looked towards the tall shape in the horizon. “What is it?”, I asked, trembling at their reactions alone. They both looked at me. “Brandy is gone?” Mother asked. “He ran away. I tried to stop him but he…” “I should have expected this.” father said grimly. We all stared at the growing shape for a moment, all calculating frantically in our heads for what to do. “Sullivan, you get the spears and I’ll get the axes.” “You think it can be shattered?” “It has to.” Mother decided. “What is it?” I repeated, wondering what possible creature one would describe as having to be shattered. “See for yourself”, father said. I turned and, to my shock, there it was. Close enough for the naked eye to now see, it stuck out of the ground and as such, tore through it to move. The earth gave way and cracked open to accompany it as it shulked closer and closer. Four swiveling heads, a totem monster. A head of rage, a head of sly satisfaction, a head of anguish and a head of agony. Their shining pupils cut through the fog, the faces all chanted, some contorting to mouth out the word. “Somnium.” I heard my sisters muffled cries from inside the cabin as they too made out the figure. My father snapped me out of my shocked stillness, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me, putting an axe in my hand. Mother had a strong arm, lots of practice throwing spears and harpoons into bears and other large animals that threatened us in this dreamlike world. None of us were prepared for this. As the totem neared, its cries growing louder, every spear thrown would bounce off of its sides, not even a scratch in what I assume to have been its paint, let alone a crack. With every projectile thrown, mother looked more and more fearful until she eventually picked up an axe. Father took his gun, and aimed as best as he could for the many eyes the totem possessed. Shot after shot had no effect, my sisters flinching at the bang each bullet made. The totem didn’t even look bothered. I held my axe close to my chest as my breaths drew quicker and quicker, the ground was shaking now. At any moment, we’d have to charge. “What can it do to us?” Mother shouted, trying to force the confidence to fight within her. “It can’t claw, punch or kick! It can hardly manage a bite!” She was forcing a smile. Before I could stop her, she ran towards it, axe in the air. She swung at the second head, it made a loud thwack and, for a moment, the totem paused. The still air lasted for only a second, before the earth under mother’s feet was torn out of place, something arose from under the ground, the totem grew one head taller and then… a crunch, a scream. My mother was first caught by her foot, then her leg, her body contorting and bones breaking. We shared one look of terror, not even a last word together, and then she was gone. Taken down under, in the jaws of the head that lived underground. Father dropped his weapon, he looked as if his world just ended and to his credit, it really had. The emotions hadn’t yet hit me, only the disbelief, and only the terror. As we stood frozen like statues, the moving monument began spinning and twisting in the ground, as if it was on some sort of high. It was grinding at the ground, turning my beloved mother into a bloody crater. Father snapped out of his stuper, tears and snot now running down his face, he ran towards the totem next. My sisters ran out of the house after him, and at that, I ran towards them as I held my arms out in front of them, stopping them from putting themselves in harm’s way. I dropped my axe and took their hands. Them sobbing all the while. I turned and looked on at my kind father, throwing himself at the totem who killed who knows how many of us Somniums before him. After my father was lost, there was little hope for my sisters and I. I dragged them along, trying to circle around the totem and make it out of my father’s world, into The Void. Unfortunately, I had to learn a lesson about this world the hard way. With my father dead, the world of his dreams could no longer exist, it seemed the totem had already known this. After making a crater of him as well, the totem froze, almost as if in thought. It then moved fast. Faster than it had while approaching us initially. It seemed it knew it could no longer savor the moment. The sky started to change colour, from a bright blue to a sickly green. The ground began to shake, the fog turned black. There was no telling how much time me, my sister, and the totem had before we would be caught in the collapsing world.

I was living a nightmare, running through the fog to the entrance of The Void. I was praying, hoping it would still be there. As my sisters and I ran, we saw the shape of the totem circling us in the mist, voices chanting all the while. “Somnium. Somnium. Somnium!” I was holding back tears, holding back any possible emotion detrimental to our survival. Even if death could be moments away, there was only one option: run and don’t look back. As we ran I heard Lienna scream louder and more terrified than before, “It got Isa! It got Isa!”. What should have been more earth shattering words had yet to hit me with their true impact. The Void was there, it was only feet away. I leapt out with Lienna, we fell onto the ground, both of us teary and tired messes. Both of us were exhausted and broken. I found the strength in me to grab her and whisk her away into the bushes nearby, out of sight of the totem. We watched as the opening to father’s reality spazzed and wavered. I hoped to god that the totem wouldn’t make it out before the entrance vanished as my father had, but only moments before, the massive figure forced its way out. The silence of The Void filled my ears, the darkness was jarring to my teary eyes. I forced my hand over Lienna’s mouth to silence any screams and cries as we waited with bated breath for the threat to pass. The totem lingered for a minute, the heads murmuring their favorite name. Eventually, content with its massacre, it caused the ground to lightly rumble as its unforgettable form was lost to the infinity of The Void. In the distance, between the trees, I saw the eyes of Brandy Somnium, taking in the sight of his mortified descendants. No expression on his face, no word, no gesture, until he too sunk into the darkness. Another monster lost to infinity.

Days passed after the incident. Then months. Then years. In that time, the totem claimed the lives of more people close to me. Aunts and uncles, cousins, and eventually it even got Lienna. Every time someone else is turned into a crater, I ask myself, I ask the universe, I ask whatever cruel god allowed this to happen, “Why?”, “Why do so many people have to die, and yet Brandy lives on?” Do the kind all perish fighting for those they love while the cowardly and prideful sink away into the dark to live on? Why be kind? Why not be like Brandy if it means survival? He sacrificed us to the totem. He led it to us and let it have its fun. “Better them than me.” He must have thought. It's frustrating. It’s infuriating. It keeps me up at night, not that I sleep much anymore regardless. I have children of my own now. I debated naming my own son Sullivan, to preserve my father’s name. I decided against it, stopped by fear. What if down the line Sullivan’s name lives even further. What if Brandy comes across those descendants of mine and finishes what he started upon hearing his most hated name. I even debated naming my son Brandy, for the express purpose of forcing him to be merciful. In the end, I decided not to carry on any name, but start anew and leave this madness behind me, behind all of us. I will always fear the totem, but I and those who come after me will never be Brandy Somnium.