Apex

Ymir hated social gatherings.

Well, more accurately, she hated the glitz and glam of stuffy corpo parties; cooped up in some lavish space at the top of the sparkliest towers in Iyzmiska, arm looped around some flimsy, fancily dressed rodent that was no more trustworthy than some irradiated creature crawling around in a sewer tunnel, and worse, she couldn’t possibly slip away from them. She couldn’t have possibly felt worse, or more bitter about her situation. Some others would practically die for what she had; they were starving on the streets, fighting with each other over the scraps until their knuckles were bloody and bruised, or stuck doing some shit job without even a ‘gee, thanks’ thrown their way, and here she was clung like a long-limbed tree creature on one of the most unpredictable fatcats she knew of. At one point, her former partner (may he rest in peace) told her that the guy was a shark among sharks. Didn’t take a genius to figure that out. She was practically stuffed into a suit by him and dragged around by a metaphorical leash like a pet, and though it was tailored perfectly, it still felt like it was smothering her.

Lance, COO of AVALON, was all fake smiles and fancy words. He had harsh cyan eyes and a tongue that spoke tangled webs of lies so charming, it might as well have been coated in literal silver. Every part of him felt completely manufactured, not that all Iyzmiskans weren’t literally manufactured by NEOGEN, but he was just too flawless in a way that made her completely sick. His teeth were pearly white and perfectly straight; eyes sparkled in a way that could make lesser individuals melt in his presence, and his fur was soft and luxurious - colored in primarily soft pinks and purples, with gold accents that framed each muscle and too-false smile in a way that made him irresistible. Yes, he was physically flawless – all except for one thing, of course, but it hardly registered on the scale. One arm was missing, much like herself, not that it was that big of a deal considering cybernetic enhancements were common. Though, it was somewhat rare for a literal, physical defect on the wealthy elite. Usually when they selected a cybernetic, it was to enhance what they already had. Removing a limb was an ugly procedure, and usually restricted for weapons or tools they had in their arsenal to be modified – the rich needed to maintain beauty for the masses. Lance supposedly had a ‘defect’, something that made him stand out from the others like himself – he was ‘born’ without his right arm. It didn’t change much about her opinion of him though. AVA was made to produce cybernetics, so in her mind, it simply made sense that their chief bigwig would have one.

After another completely riveting conversation Lance had with another smarmy Lux, Ymir excused herself to go relax on the balcony for a while. She had enough of their vapid, empty talk - all phony pleasantries and business that barely veiled their desire to stick a sharp blade into each other’s backs at the slightest chance. She leaned against the iron railing, wind whistling in her ears barely disguising the noise of the city below. Sirens, loud advertisements, horns, the sounds of home; she felt herself relax a bit. 

Reaching into the inner pocket of her coat, she pulled out a cigarette and her flip lighter. They were both the cheapest brands she could possibly buy – or afford, even. What she did was expected, not rewarded, and so she scrounged up money when she could, taking private jobs to fund her few vices left in the world. The cigarettes tasted like pure shit and the smell was overbearingly chemical, but it felt normal among the abnormal. Humble. She took a few long drags, memories flooding back of days at the academy, bumming smokes off her future partner in the courtyard. She didn’t even know where he got them. Those memories felt so bittersweet and far away and she lost herself in the moment, trying to reach them once more. Unceremoniously, she was ripped out of her momentary bliss, cigarette snatched from between her meat fingers, her right eye poked open to view the rat of the hour, Lance, leaning with his back to the railing and her cigarette between his lips.

He let out a small, hacking cough. “What the fuck are you smoking?” For the first time, she saw a smile that finally reached those usually insincere eyes of his, and for a moment, he seemed natural, authentic, like those days she spent with her partner. 

“Cheap shit. You wouldn’t know it.” She took another out to fill the void between her thoughts.

“I’ll say. You find this in the dumpster, or bum it off a homeless guy?” Despite his words, he took another drag on it. “Shit, thought we paid you guys better than this. Least we could do is buy you some fancy damn cigarettes.”

She shrugged at that. “You bought me more time on this miserable fucking world, so I’d say your money is spent.”

“I’d bore you with more chatter of ‘assets’ and future endeavors for my company, but we both know it’s all fancy bullshit and you’re so stubborn you wouldn’t listen to a word of it.”

“Huh, what was that?” The least she could do was tease him a bit for dragging her ass out of one hell and back into another.

He let out a chuckle, “Precisely.”

She let the silence stretch out between them, unsure of how to fill the gaps between moments of quiet. Her mind was always ticking away, but her mouth almost never ran with anything more than a snarky comment or two. She wasn’t good at talking, not really, and let a bad attitude become her shield for the ridicule she’d usually face for being so regularly tongue-tied during conversation. It got her the reputation of being “the silent bitch”, usually. Cold, uncaring about the world, anything, or anyone. She did care though, perhaps too deeply for her own good. She looked down at the city below. It almost looked small from her vantage point.

“It’s hideous, isn’t it?” Lance’s voice sounded genuinely sad for a moment, and she noticed he had switched positions to lean his chest against the rail. He was taller than her, but slouched over, his image of Lux perfection cracked a little at the edges.

“Not nice to talk about yourself like that.” She couldn’t bite back the snark from her lips.

“Very funny, but you know what I’m talking about.”

She paused again, weighing her words carefully. “You’re a dangerous man, playing games in earshot.”

“Trust me, not a real word goes through their fucking brains. In one ear, out the other. It’s all about profits or some cheesy political game you would see in some trashy drama. Who’s spouse slept with whom? Speculation on who might be a mutt sympathizer. They can’t see past their own damn noses – or wallets – for that matter. Self obsessed pricks can’t see a bigger picture. I hate these fucking parties like I hate expensive vodka and that stupid suit I put you in.”

“Oh, so you knew the suit was stupid?”

“Yeah, got a problem?” He gave a small snort and winked at her. A few scandalized Phuzos looked their way, likely questioning Lance’s romantic tastes.

“I do, in fact. Woulda loved to show up in my streetwear, you know? See the look on their faces.”

“As much as I wouldn’t have cared personally, they would have. Both you and I – we have a look to maintain.” 

“Doin’ a swell job of that, Lance. I’m your ‘date’ for the evening and they’d probably be less offended if you brought some whore off the corner versus me.”

“Implying you’re not basically that, minus the fact there’s nothing physical or romantic between us.”

“Hold up, you romance hookers? Take ‘em on fancy dates ‘n the whole nine yards?”

“Only if the mood hits me right.”

Ymir’s lips upturned at that. Damn, he got to her. An actual smile played at the corner of her mouth and she looked away, taking another drag on her cigarette to mask her amusement. Lance must have noticed, however, as a small glance to him let her catch a look of genuine softness that lessened the harsh perfection of his features and momentarily shattered that facade. The moment passed, fragile humanity carried off by the wind and lost in the bleak night sky. It didn’t take long before they resumed where they began, both wearing the masks that they knew better than themselves. 

“Why am I even here, Lance?” 

He sighed, and she could see him collect his thoughts for a moment. He threw the spent butt of the cigarette off the balcony to the streets below, exhaling the last of the poison from his lungs. Maybe, like her, they were synthetic too. How much of them both were even real anymore, she didn’t know. “They know I saved you, they just don’t know why. It’s easier to pretend…” For the first time, she saw the the man behind the window dressing of a corporate clown - someone who was like her, in a fucked up cosmic sort of way. He didn’t ask for this life any more than she did; it was just expected of him. Though he enjoyed privileges she would never dream of, he also suffered in a way she never would understand. It wasn’t the glamorous life of someone who had it made, it was the tragic life of someone who couldn’t have the option of being anything else. Do or die. Sink or swim. She, at least, had something to fall back on if she quit the force. Even if it was just perspective, or skill, or just the strength to keep running. “I needed a project, and putting your humpty dumpty ass back together again seemed like the perfect distraction. AVA got eyes on it for saving you. Maybe to the others you’re a liability, but to me, you’re an investment.”

“Glad to see you ain’t gonna surprise me anymore. I was getting afraid you had been placed by a fucking real person there for a moment, Lance.”

He shrugged. “I need to get back to the party. Join me?”

She stamped out her cigarette, taking one last glance at the city. She inhaled the city air, exhaled chrome dust and heavy metal from her veins ; the old Ymir died that day in the bombing, and she didn’t get a choice if she wanted the pieces picked up again. It would be dawn soon, and she wasn’t sure where the new Ymir would take her. 

She nodded at Lance, looping her arm so that he could gently take it in his uncalloused hand. He wasn’t a shark among sharks, she concluded. He was a shark in a very small pond, and the others just didn’t see it yet.