forever and always.

a breeze fluttered throughout the jungle, the branches and vines swaying quietly beneath the pair as they sat atop the canopy. the sky was painted in beautiful ambers, the blazing sun slowly waning away beneath the horizon. it was perfect. the blonde molly watched the stratosphere shift, quiet purrs rumbling from her trachea as the darkness began looming toward the innocent star. her gaze fell, landing on the tom at her hip, a light smile tugging at her lips.

“why are you staring at me?” glowspine chuckled, ears tall. the brute staring someone down was anything but good. well, if it were anyone else, of course. his eyes glimmered with ardor, pelt contrasted against the colorful sky.

“because i love you.” penumbrastar dug his nose into her porcelain chest, trying his best to commit her scent to memory. he never knew when he’d get to do that again. get this again. being at her side, feeling her fur against his own, hearing her honeyed voice… he sighed, shaking his head, “how could you do this to me, glow..?”

the medicine cat grimaced, her eyes searching the sky for a distraction. he’d asked this question many, many times. probably asked himself more than she could ever imagine. glowspine flicked her tail, bringing it up to gently caress the tom’s back. no answer she could muster would satisfy him. it wasn’t his fault, glow knew that. but starclan, did it hurt everytime he looked at her like that . “pen, you know i would never, ever, do this to you if it had been of my own volition. starclan calls to me. i have to go. you know i’d stay if i could? i’d stay right here, at your side.” she turned to him, lifting a mitt to hold his face, pulling him close. glowspine sighed, ears flattening against her cranium. the look in his face…god. he looked like a boy again. all she could do was press her forehead against his, holding him there as the wind blew against their coats.

penumbra allowed the tears to slip down his face, nose scrunched up as glow held him still. he had made a vow to not let her see him cry. he’d known of her mission for a while, he needed to rehearse what he’d say the following morning when glow planned to depart. he knew he needed to make a scene, a few cats had been catching onto them, the last thing he needed was to be outed by one of his warriors. his shoulders rippled as he pushed into glow, moving to hide his muzzle inside of her fur. his throat stung, quietly weeping into his mates chest as she simply sat there. she was really leaving. this would be their last…night together. and he couldn’t even lay with her in his own home without being scruntinized. they could never laugh with each other, never smile, never spare more than a glance… it was unfair. why did he fall in love with the molly who couldnt be loved according to starclan? were they playing a joke on him? they must’ve been… how cruel. watching coldsky and his mate, watching how they shared meals, watching how they shared tongues, watching how they walked beside each other, how they rejoiced after finding out they were expecting a litter, watching how they loved.

“i need you with me. i have no one, glow. you’re–you’re all i have. what if something happens to you? what if i never see you again? i can’t do this alone… not for long” glowspine became teary-eyed at his words, incapable of mustering a response. he was so.. vulnerable right now. she lifted his head, quickly wiping his tears before shaking her head. “no, no, listen to me, penumbrastar. you can do this. you are an incredible tomcat. i am so blessed to be able to call you my mate. when i get back, everything will be alright, i promise. you and me, okay? we’ll–we’ll be happy. we can go public, let the clan know… maybe i could even convince swoopingwind to take over for a little while.. and we could even start a family..! whatever you want, we could be happy, pen. i promise. you just have to wait for me to come back!” glow nodded, unable to hold back her tears, feeling the saltiness slip into the corners of her mouth.

the two of them laid there, sobbing into each others arms. the sun fell just beyond the horizon, the sky losing all radiance as the clouds sunk into shadows, melding into a combination of cold blue and empty pewter. glow looked up at her lover, sucking in a sharp breath before putting on a brave smile.

“you just have to wait for me. okay?”

“what happens–”

“nothing will happen to me. our love is too strong.. i don’t think a cat could die with this much love in their heart.”

penumbra chuckled, he knew she wasn’t making a joke, but the thought of a cat loving him so…dearly.. he swore it made his heart jump. he didn’t want her to go. he’d give anything to keep her in camp. he’d kill starclan if it meant she could stay at his side. if it meant another sunset together.. his claws instinctively extended, angry at the ancient rules they were forced to follow. one rule.. one rule and his life could never be fufilled. it would never be fair.

“okay. i’ll wait for you.”

“forever and always?”

“forever and always.”