Work Report

Cepheus carefully placed his transmitter on his coffee table before waiting for the signal to come through. Luckily, it didn’t take long for the device to rumble with life, and before he knew it, a hologram of his empress was standing before him. What a relieving sight to see after what he just went through. He bowed his head deeply as she looked down at him.

“Ah, Cepheus, I was expecting your call.” Her voice was kind and warm, even through the static audio of the transmitter. Between her and the rough, demanding voice of his human boss, the differences were like night and day.

He raised his head and gave a shaky smile. “I have much to say, your majesty.” He grabbed a folder he snatched from the office. It was filled with all of his research on the human race, as well as a few reports that are due by Friday. “It hasn’t been that long, but I feel like I’ve learned a lot about these humans.”

“Then, by all means, tell us what you’ve done.”

The empress was on the edge of her seat. She knew sending Cepheus out to study Earth would be a good idea. Humans must be fascinating to learn about. They were a cute species to study with all their “jobs” and the like. Surely, Cepheus must be having fun studying them in the field.

However, Cepheus sighed tiredly. “The humans love to work themselves into the ground. It’s how many of them survive.” 

As part of his excursion to learn about Earth, Cepheus ended up getting an office job to fit in with people. He’s never run around this much in his life. So many things to do– File these documents, deliver these files, make so-and-so coffee… what a pain. Humans must be resilient creatures to endure such repetitive work, but then again, there was heavy motivation to influence that.

“What do they get in return for this work?” the empress asked. “Their power supplies? Stardust?”

Cepheus shook his head. “No, no, they get,” he looked through his folder before he pulled out– “this!”

The empress squinted at what he held. “A little slip of paper?”

“They call these ‘cheques,’ your majesty.” Cepheus held the paper up to a nearby light. It felt so fragile in his hands. He was told to take care of his cheque because if he ruined it, he might not get to use it properly. “A cheque controls the humans’ lives because it gives them something called ‘money.’ They use these to get the stuff they need, like food, clothes… everything!”

There was a moment of silence as the empress looked over the cheque carefully. There was some writing on the paper, a few numbers too. So, if the humans write on a piece of paper, then they can get whatever they want? That was awfully convenient! It would completely get rid of the need to verbally ask people what they want. There must be a catch to all of this. 

“What happens to the humans when they don’t get these ‘cheques,’ then?” 

Immediately, Cepheus paled at the thought. “They’ll die!”

The empress gasped, covering her mouths along with it. “They’ll instantly die? I didn’t think they were so fragile.”

“Not instantly, actually, but they’ll die slowly.” His whole body shivered at the thought. “Alone and weak because they can’t support themselves anymore…” He hadn’t seen a human die this way yet, and even if he had come to this planet to learn, he hoped he wouldn’t see that anytime soon. 

“How… barbaric.” Now when she looked at the cheque, she started to realize the power this little thing held. And here she was making her poor little spy hold it! Her subjects were so brave. 

To think that the humans were so cut-throat. One would doubt the nature of this information, but the empress sent only her best to learn about the humans, so surely Cepheus was telling the truth. He must be learning a lot in his office job, so it wasn’t a mistake to send such an important worker there. Cepheus hadn’t been there for a year yet and he was already learning valuable intel. 

With the shock of this revelation dying down, the empress smiled down at Cepheus. With all of her mouths too. He should feel proud. “Your work here does not go unnoticed. Without you, we would not be learning about the humans’ ways, so for that, you have my thanks, Cepheus.”

With a tight smile, he gave a deep bow. “I’m grateful to serve, your majesty.” 

Those words of praise made all of his struggles worth it, in the end. He hoped so, at least. That report was still due on Friday “on the dot,” as his boss liked to say. He was still trying to figure out the ever so popular “water cooler talk” too, but it could be worse. Probably. 

These humans were tougher than he could’ve ever imagined…