Mister Rabbit

Igor was doing their usual stop at the local grocery store when they were approached by a tall man.

“Excuse me,” He asked in a soft voice, as to not startle them. “And you can stroll off if you don’t wanna answer this, I’m sure you get asked it a lot, but uh, why’re you wearin’ some rabbit ears on your head?” 

Benoit Blanc was the man’s name, and Igor took immediate notice of the southern drawl in his voice. He wasn’t trying to be invasive or rude, he was just naturally curious, as is why he thrives in his job as a private detective, and he knew that if he didn’t at least try to get an answer from this rabbit-ear-clad stranger, it would bother him for the rest of the day.

“Oh, I don’t mind!!” Igor beamed up at him. “I love talking about it, actually! Here, just let me buy what I got first.” 

“And what’ve you got?” Benoit asked, yet again out of nothing but curiosity. That, and he had something up his sleeve…

The pair were approaching the cash register, and Benoit had given his things to the cash register. Igor trailed behind him, standing behind him in line. “Oh, just this lil’ pack of Ferrero Rochers.” They said, holding it in their palm. “Normally I’m not much of a chocolate guy, but I go crazy for these. I get a craving for ‘em.” 

“May I see them?” Benoit asked. 

“Sure!” Igor obliged, handing him the packet. There were three individually wrapped round chocolates sitting in a row, surrounded by a plastic wrap keeping them all contained.

Benoit observed it, then handed it to the cashier.

“Wha-” Igor was confused for a second until they realized what he did. “You- wha- you don’t have to do that!!”

“Consider it a bribe.” Benoit told them, with a smile on his face that couldn’t be taken seriously. He laughed, and Igor laughed shortly after.

After he paid, Benoit handed their chocolate back to them and the pair left, sitting down at the nearest shaded bench.

“It’s nice meeting you, miss…” Benoit started, expecting them to finish with their name.

“Mister.” Igor’s smile left, and they looked away. They didn’t frown, though. They were used to this. It was just something disappointing that always happened to them.

“Oh! Oh my, I… you’ll have to forgive me, sir. So sorry.” Benoit tried his best to word how apologetic as he was, which was very.

Igor looked back at him after he called them ‘sir.’ That’s not something people usually did, especially when this in particular was the topic at hand. “You’re okay.” They gave him a weak smile. They appreciated his genuine expression of guiltiness. It meant a lot. 

“Mister…” Benoit began again, thankful that Igor wasn’t too hurt. He felt bad about his slip-up, but he’ll be on the right side from now on.

“Igor.” They shone Benoit a better smile than before, which he returned in full.

“Nice meetin’ you, Igor.” The two shook hands. “I’m Benoit Blanc.”

Igor wasn’t very caught up on the news, so they didn’t recognize the man’s name, nor did they know who he was. To them, he’s just the man who approached them in a grocery store.

“So you wanna know what’s up with the ears, huh?” Igor struck the topic at hand back up again, looking up at their ears and then looking back at Benoit.

“Sure do.” He smiled, happy that they’re obliging him. “Whatever you feel like sharin’.” He added, hoping it would alleviate some pressure from them.

“Well uh… hm.” It was a lot harder to explain than Igor had initially thought. There was a lot to it that they weren’t gonna lay on the detective all at once. They didn’t want to overwhelm him with a barrage of confusing information. 

“I’m something called otherkin, which means that I’m… nonhuman.” Igor paused, waiting for Benoit’s reaction.

“So you’re uh, some kind of a bunny rabbit, then?” He asked, genuinely. He was trying to understand this from their perspective. 

“Yeah!!” They beamed. “Like, in this body, I’m human, I know, but it’s not the right body. It’s just the one I was given.” They paused again, adjusting the fuzzy headband that held their rabbit ears atop it.

“Ah! Hm…” Benoit Blanc was beginning to understand. He took a moment to ponder their words. “Otherkin, you said…” In all his years of detective work, he has heard all sorts of things from all sorts of people, but he’s never, ever heard anything like this before. “So, the ears are to help you feel more like your real self, in this body?” He asked, gesturing to them.

“You got it!! Damn, you catch on quick.” Igor chuckled, surprised yet thankful that he understood so fast. They were also thankful that he wasn’t making fun of them, calling them weird, or doubting that this is what they really think. 

“It is my job, after all. To detect.” Benoit joked.
“To detect?” They thought for a second about what that possibly could have meant. “…oh my god, are you a detective?” Igor realized, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“I sure am.” Benoit smiled. “Which actually reminds me, I’ve got a case I just accepted. I should probably get going before I stay here too long.” Benoit got up. He was so intrigued by Igor, and he had so many more questions about them, but his job was an important one. 

“Oh, uh-! D-do you uh, do you want my phone number??” Igor blurted out. They were nervous as hell, but they didn’t want to miss the opportunity to keep in touch with this man. 

“Ah, of course!” He said, scrambling his pockets looking for a piece of scrap paper. He handed them the receipt from the grocery store and his pen. Igor jotted their number down and handed it back to him.

“Nice seeing you, Benoit!!” Igor waved him goodbye. 

“You too, bunny boah.” Benoit smiled, giving Igor a small wave back before walking back to his car. 

~ 

Two hours later, Igor received a text.

“I said hi to your brother for you. :)”

Attached was a photo of a rabbit.