pacing the floor t.

sunflower lingered outside the door of life support, outside of where thane had set up his living area. it was empty at the moment, but sunflower could imagine the cots folded up in the corner, and the table with two mugs and a kettle ready to be used. there was no chance any of that would be used tonight. maybe not tomorrow, either.

sunflower let out a slow breath, turning away from the door and making her way down the hall. she passed by starboard observation, briefly catching a glance of samara meditating in front of the wide expanse of stars. he continued down the hall, no real destination in mind.

the ship lights were dimmed, imitating a night cycle the best way a ship in the middle of space could. the thrum of the ship was a constant white noise, but tonight it seemed louder than ever. the sound of his boots seemed loud as well, as if it echoed down the hall. sunflower paused at the end of the hall, glancing at the room across from him.

the door to medical was always lit, even if dr. chakwas wasn’t in. her room was nearby, and edi would alert her if someone needed her attention. sunflower hadn’t wandered close because she needed attention. no, her absentminded path had brought her here because thane was in there. sunflower turned on her heel and went back the way she came, rubbing his hands on his arms. thane was resting, and he’d been gently told by the doctor that he’d be fine- as fine as he could be, given his condition. the lieutenant forced himself to relax a moment and give a passing crewmember a friendly wave, even though his mind lingered elsewhere.

“is he alright? thane?” sunflower asked anxiously.

he’d been down in engineering when he’d heard gabriella and kenneth whispering to each other about an emergency swap. they’d shut up as soon as they realized sunflower was there, neither wanting to look directly at him. he’d dropped everything immediately, making his way to medical, fearing the worst.

“he’ll survive, lieutenant. he just needs time to rest, and let his lungs recover. the air was too much for him down there, and those fumes did him no favors.” dr. chakwas had replied, trying to sound reassuring. they’d adjusted the environment of a private medical room for him, making it as dry as possible.

he’d be bed bound for at least a day, and no duty for at least a week. dr. chakwas had tried to ease her worries by making a light joke about, “no strenuous activity for a few days,” but sunflower hadn’t been able to muster more than a weak laugh.

he shook himself out of the memory as he stepped into the empty mess hall. nearly all the lights in here were out, save for a few closest to the entrances and where the food was stored. sunflower paced between the entrances, back and forth. though it was beyond late, he had no intentions of going to sleep- he wasn’t really sure he could if he wanted to. she hadn’t seen how thane looked, and her brain couldn’t resist imagining the worst things possible.

him gasping for breath, his dark eyes dull. his chest heaving and he struggled with the heavy, wet air of the planet. maybe even unable to breath on his own altogether, forcing chakwas to assist him with equipment. maybe his condition had suddenly worsened, and chakwas would be informing him it was a matter of weeks- days even.

suddenly filled with an anxious energy to check on someone, anyone, sunflower left the mess hall. the crew quarters were mostly full. the occasional snore broke the silence as sunflower lingered in the doorway for a few moments. the pit in his stomach didn’t ease up, however, and sunflower continued on his way.

he lingered in front of the elevator, finger hovering above the button that would take her up to the top floor. that was all captain’s quarters, where tori had her space to eat, sleep, and wind down.

“edi,” sunflower whispered. there was no real reason to whisper, but sunflower couldn’t muster up the steadiness in her voice to speak any louder.

“how may i assist you, lieutenant?”

“is tori awake?”

“the commander is asleep. would you like for me to wake her, or give her a message?”

she probably imagined it, but edi’s robotic voice sounded softer- gentler, even- than usual. just a nighttime setting, surely, sunflower thought to herself.

“no, that’s alright. thank you, though.” sunflower shook his head and lowered his hand. he didn’t move away from the lift, however, still staring at the button that would take him up.

“lieutenant, are you certain you would not like me to alert the commander for you?” edi’s voice broke him out of the trance, and sunflower shook his head again.

“no, no. tori needs her sleep,” sunflower repeated, turning away from the lift. each step tightened the pit in his stomach, and his mind wandered as his body did. out of sheer habit, he grinned and waved at the few crewmates he saw on his way back to the mess hall. he paced the shadows then, staying away from the doors in case any passerby saw and questioned him.

his mind swiftly returned to the events of earlier, playing over and over. he thought of every cough, every time thane cleared his throat, and every time the drell seemed out of breath. had those events been more frequent? he’d known about thane’s condition- hell, thane had gently tried turning his interest down because of it, but it didn’t mean any of it was easier.

sunflower was about to begin another attempt to wear a path into the floor when a hand on her shoulder made her jump, and she whipped around to see a drowsy tori behind her.

“what are you doing up?” sunflower asked, immediately searching tori’s face for any sign of distress. hadn’t edi just said that she was sleeping? why was she down here now?

tori didn’t look like she’d woken from a nightmare. if anything, she looked ready to go back to sleep.

“what are you doin’ up?” tori turned the question back around, looking him up and down. unlike tori, who was dressed in a raggy shirt and sweatpants, sunflower was still dressed in her day uniform. he was even still wearing his boots.

“couldn’t sleep.” he admitted, not interested in beating around the bush. tori’s face softened a bit, and she gently brushed away a stray hair from the lieutenant’s face.

“thane?”

“thane.”

tori sighed softly, and took one of sunflower’s hands in hers.

“come on, come up to bed,” tori prompted, and sunflower followed obediently. tori’s socked steps were silent compared to the too-loud clomping of sunflower’s boots, and neither said anything in the lift up.

“boots off at the door, sunbun,” tori said as they stepped into the short hallway from the lift to her quarters.

“how did you wake up?” sunflower asked as he set his boots neatly next to tori’s. she tossed him over a t-shirt he’d left before and a pair of sweatpants to borrow.

“edi said you were wandering,” tori replied as he dressed, “figured you might need less alone time.”

“i didn’t want you to wake tori, edi,” sunflower sighed as tori took him by the hand again and led him towards her bed.

“apologies, lieutenant. you often ask that i wake you if the commander needs you, and felt it appropriate to do so in return,” edi’s voice replied, and tori nodded in agreement.

“can’t have my rabid attack varren not sleeping well. what if tim needs to be yelled at?” tori joked as she got comfortable in bed, holding up the covers for her friend. sunflower crawled into bed, tension in his stomach slowly easing.

“kaidan’s going to think i’m stealing you away,” he joked tiredly. they’d shared a bed several times before, when tori’s nightmares kept her awake, or a mission had frayed their nerves.

“gotta keep him on his toes, lieutenant,” tori mumbled back, dragging sunflower closer. “besides, you make a pretty decent little spoon.”

“hey. i’m a fantastic little spoon,” sunflower replied. a few moments passed without anything else being said, and sunflower was sure tori had drifted off. he stared past tori at the wall as the pit in his stomach tightened up again.

“st’p thinkin’,” tori mumbled suddenly, gently squeezing sunflower’s arm. “i can practically hear you doomscrolling in your brain.”

“sorry,” sunflower whispered, pressing his face into the pillow, “i should let you sleep.”

“mm.. should let yourself sleep too,” tori mumbled without opening her eyes. her hand fumbled until she came to sunflower’s ponytail, and managed to undo it with some help.

“bed. become sleep,” tori sighed, running her hand through the now loose hair. it was a soothing, repetitive motion, and sunflower finally felt his eyes start to lower.

“aren’t i supposed to take care of you?” she said, her eyes slipping shut. tori mumbled something intelligible, but her hand kept running through his hair. distantly, he thought he heard edi confirm something about muting morning alarms, but the wave of sleep finally descended upon him before he could be sure.