Name Game

Mr. Chien was helping Harry with his homework. After they were done, Harry hastily cleaned up his work and went to his room.

Marco sat there in the most uncomfortable silence in the world. He had been calling Mr. Chien “Mr. Chien” this whole time but he never knew this man’s first name. Would it be too informal for him to call him by his first name anyway? Or was that a Japanese naming custom? He’s Chinese. So do those things apply? How does this Asian name thing work?! He racked his brains for a while and decided to just ask. He could plead ignorance anyway.

“Um. Hey. Mr. Chien? What’s your name?”

Mr. Chien raised an eyebrow. “I’ve been here in your house for almost a week and you don’t know my name?”

Marco looked down and fidgeted a bit, then looked back up. “Yes. I don’t know your name, so can you please tell me?”

Mr. Chien smiled and chuckled. “It’s alright. I never really thought to tell you.” He frowned a bit. “I really didn’t think I’d be stuck here with you. I was supposed to get into a nice hotel and that’s the end of it. So I guess I never actually properly introduced myself to you.”

Marco gave a nervous laugh. It sounded like Mr. Chien wasn’t too thrilled to be here. “Um… Er… Yeah. Right.”

Mr. Chien quickly noticed Marco’s anxiety and changed the subject. “Um. Yeah. So my full name is 錢傑琪 (qian jieqi*) .” [*this is pinyin, which is not pronounced like most people would think it would be. With really bad American accents, the last name would be pronounced Chen or Chien, while the first name would be pronounced Jeh Chi]

Marco stared blankly back. “Wha-wha-what now?”

“錢傑琪. You see, 錢 (qian) is my last name while 傑琪 (jieqi) is my first name.”

Marco slowly repeated after him. “Jeh… Jeh Ch-ch-chi. Jeh Chi Chien.” Marco suddenly stopped and started to laugh. “PFFT. JEH CHI? REALLY?”

Marco looked at this spectacle with utter confusion. “It’s 傑琪. You’re not quite pronouncing it right. But close enough. But… What’s so funny?”

Marco tried to talk but he was laughing too hard. After finally stifling his laughter, he managed to speak. “This is unbelievable. Jackie Chien, huh? PFFFT HAHAHAHA!”

Mr. Chien could only stare confusedly back. “I… Um…”

“No. No. It’s fine. I think I’m gonna stick with calling you Mr. Chien.” More stifled laughing. “I don’t think I could call you by your full name, because I’m probably going to herniate something. *snerk*Jackie Chan. PFFFT.”

Mr. Chien looked annoyed at him. “笨蛋,” he muttered before he stood up and swiftly delivered a blow to the back of Marco’s head.