A riddle inside my head

Aristedes

When the inn that old miller had mentioned appeared into view with its red roof and round windows, Aristedes couldn't have felt more relieved.

It had been another long day on the road, and although not the coldest one by far, once again he had found himself yearning for their old house, more and more with each passing hour. He needed rest, comfort, some peace and quiet - anything but the winding path and his skittish stallion, that one of these days would probably start jumping at its own shadow too.

Traveling was nothing new to them, though, with him and Hvass having uprooted their lives for what must've been over a dozen times by now within the past decade alone, but for all its many thrills, traveling in winter never seemed to get any less exhausting once the skies turned gray and nights freezing.

They passed through the frozen fields (with the sound of a dog barking nearby, Luba having followed them from a distance as always, the faithful little thing), trotting over an old stone bridge then and crossing the river they’d been following for a while now, before climbing up the narrow path all the way to the forest's edge where the old tavern awaited them. Up close, the place didn't look all that bad despite the miller’s mumblings about its supposedly decrepit state. Old, yes, but what wasn't in this corner of the world, far away from the coast and any big cities as they were?

"Come," Ari murmured to Hvass over his shoulder after stabling their steeds, smiling a little at the sight of his servant gently patting the large shire's neck before moving to pull down the saddlebags from its back, heavy with their humble belongings. They really had lucked out with buying that gentle giant of a horse, making their travel that much easier with Hvass not needing to settle for walking whenever releasing his magic wasn’t safe, which often was the case on these cobbled roads.

Aristedes had no doubts that Hvass would’ve walked beside him to the ends of the earth, and happily so had he only asked him to, but it shouldn’t have been an option in the first place. Yet it was neither this or that Ari spoke of to his companion as they entered the inn with Luba hot on their heels, thoughts and topics both quickly turning to the food the place might have to offer. Perhaps they'd even have warm bath water available.

The place turned out to be… a lot busier than he would’ve expected from such a location. He had hoped for peace and quiet, but moreso for his companion’s sake than his own and as Aristedes turned to Hvass, he completely missed the innkeeper who had just finished gathering all the empty plates and cups from the nearest table into two neat piles.

"Anything I can help you with, good sirs?" She asked with a smile.

Aristedes jumped slightly before turning to face the woman.

"Oh, yes. Yes there is something, actually. Do you have any wine? Posset? Some stew on the boil? I’m famished."

Gods, how long had he been this hungry?

But before Ari could apologize for his barrage of requests, the innkeeper merely chuckled. "Yes, maybe, and that one is also a yes. Let me have a look in the back, but food you needn't to go without, that's for sure. Won't find a better roast on this side of the mountains, I dare say," She nodded reassuringly to the redhead, glancing then at the tall man who he’d had been chatting with so fondly just now. "And for your husband?"

(610)

Hvass

On any other day, Hvass would be quick to overcome his surprise at the innkeeper's assumption and make a calm correction. He didn't blame it, not after he and Aristedes had spent decades perfecting their routines on warm, amiable terms. He could have dismissed it and let that be the end of it, had it not been for the past two months.

Whether or not it was intentional, Ari had been incredibly inviting as of late, teasing him with closeness. Reaching out for him, lingering in hugs, sharing intimate thoughts, smiling at him so fond and thoughtful, buying him the gentle shire mount when they didn't exactly have the funds to spare on the luxury when he could've walked - all things marking a deep relationship rather than a master-servant one. It shouldn't have riled Hvass so, to know Ari cared for him and his company. It took all Hvass had not to reach out in return, but after hearing what he had behind that door two months ago...

...well. Maybe he could tease back, just this once.

"I'll have what he's having," Hvass replied before Ari could interject, giving him a warm smile. Not his usual stoic one, but one softened in all senses of the word, affectionate, warm, and mixed with a teasing raised brow. "And a room, if there's some available."

The innkeeper beamed at them both, clearly proud to have her assessment confirmed like any matron with a good eye for things. "You're in luck, we've just one left. Old Henry's been wailing about an upcoming snowstorm for a week now, and he's our village gospel on the weather, you see. Never wrong, even when the sky's clear." She looked to Ari with a wink. "So never you fear, we're well-stocked up for the both of you. Won't even need to leave your room if you like."

Hvass chuckled. "Trust me, after the long road we've been on, it won't be hard to tempt with just that."

She burst out laughing at that, her round cheeks rosy as she reached up high to pat his shoulder with a solid thump. "Good man, good man. Go ahead and sit, and I'll set about some good hot food to fight the chill, mm?" She bustled off to the kitchens, leaning forward with a mind to chat with those on her way.

Luba bumped up against Hvass' knee, and he reached down to run his fingers through his thick scruff, glancing at Ari as he did so. "Something the matter?" He grinned.

(422)

Aristedes

If his servant had been mildly taken aback by the matron's bold assumption, Aristedes had all but frozen in place before stirring just as suddenly at that unexpected smile. Teasing yet warm, the look on his companion's face was one even he was rarely privy to, and he wordlessly followed it and Hvass all the way to the table the innkeeper had ushered them towards, sitting down with his gaze fixated on the man who had just presented them as a loving couple.

At the question, Ari finally huffed with a returned smile, albeit much more shy in its nature than Hvass’ grin as he gently shook his head. How thankful was he in that moment for the lingering chill and his already reddened cheeks.

Staring back at Hvass, Aristedes sighed. "A snowstorm, she said... So your nose was right after all." He smirked softly, visibly relaxing as they both settled down to wait, with Luba under the table and the saddlebags safely tucked underneath Hvass’ chair. He contemplated Hvass' shameless play as he evenly added, "It is good we arrived when we did."

If it was a lark his servant was after, then a lark they would have.

Sighing deeply, he proceeded to nonchalantly unbuckle his cloak. "Ah, how I shiver at the thought! Truly, what would become of me without my dear husband by my side to watch over me and hurry us along when needed?" He continued talking as he briefly rose from his seat, just enough to hang his travel cloak from the nearby hook: an old nail hammered into the supporting beam next to their table.

"Forgive me for doubting you earlier - you know how I get after riding for hours on end." He shook his head again as he sat back down, brushing his long hair over his shoulder, smiling still when their eyes met once more. "I promise I'll make it up to you soon enough."

(323)

Hvass

Oh, this was a mistake. This was definitely a mistake. He hadn't thought his master would actually continue the jest, especially not in a way that made those around them pay attention.

Hvass' heart pounded in his chest at that last line, at how Ari leaned over the table in a purposefully alluring arch to put his cloak up. He could smell the woodsy, floral scent of him from his cascade of hair down his shoulder and gods this really wasn't helping his sense of restraint. But it felt thrilling to see a side of Ari beyond their amiable companionship,  especially aimed at him.

What ultimately made Hvass continue the charade, after a beat to collect himself, was being called husband, and he barely denied that he replied out of greed to hear him say it again.

With a half-lidded smile, voice breathless and barely kept in check, he said, "I should be the one offering with how hard I pushed today. You must be so sore - I can rub you down later, if that would please you."

(He nearly lost it when he heard a nearby henwife grumble to her old groom, 'Wish I was pushed and rubbed down,' which made the poor man spit out his ale.)

Luckily the innkeeper came back around with a tray laden with bowls of piping hot stew, a loaf of bread with butter, and a pitcher of sweet wine to share. "Here you are loves, good food to warm the bones," She said as she passed the bowls and cups onto the table. "So, how did you two meet? If you don't mind my asking, of course."

"Grace, that was ages ago," Hvass replied fondly, pouring them both wine. "I was an absolute beast back then, and he had a time of taming me. Been with him ever since. But you tell that story better than I do, go on."

(318)

Aristedes

It definitely wasn't only the chill anymore that made his face burn so brightly - cheeks, ears and the tip of his nose all rosy, and he thanked the Patrons that Hvass decided to hold his tongue when the innkeeper turned to look at him instead. Aristedes smiled to the back of his hand, seemingly to stifle a little laugh as he rushed to gather himself.

"A beast, indeed... You were outright insatiable!"

He scoffed, hiding his flustered grin a second longer before exhaling and lowering his hand. He glanced at the innkeeper apologetically for it wouldn't be their usual story he decided to tell, oh no, no. Not after his servant had doubled down on this little jest of his hard enough to excite old wives.

"Gods, this is so uncouth of me, I apologize, but you should've seen this man. Pushed me down first thing and -" He snapped his fingers, "I was out before I knew it."

He spared a half-lidded look at Hvass, full of soft-spoken confidence he clearly enjoyed showing.

"But when I came to, he was so very gentle. I was immediately taken with him, and from there on out we got to know each other better. He swore to leave his wanderer's ways in the past as we learned to live together. Talked, traveled, that sort of thing."

Much to her credit, the innkeeper had kept it together, undoubtedly used to hearing far more crass tales from late night patrons too deep in the cups. She held back a laugh, saying instead with a knowing smile, "My, my. How lucky you are."

"That I am. I have nothing to fear with him," Aristedes nodded and picked up his cup of wine with a soft 'thank you', smiling cheekily as he looked straight at Hvass and that jesting smile he swore he saw waver just now, "Well, the lack of sleep aside."

(316)

Hvass

Hvass' smile did waver for a moment as soft yearning swept across him. I have nothing to fear with him. How lucky was he to hear him say those words? After all Hvass had taken from him before he'd been tamed, to have Ari trust him so made his heart pound harder.

"You left out one important part of the story," Hvass murmured, having leaned his cheek against his fist as he'd listened. His free hand reached across the table for Ari's, holding it in reverence. "After I'd had my way with him and was tamed, a wicked stranger arrived and swept him off his feet before I could." He looked down at their joined hands as he rubbed his thumb over Ari's knuckles. He could hear a pair of girls to their left sigh at the telling. "I was half-sick with jealousy until the stranger left, and I took my chance then to swear myself to my h..husband and we've been together since."

The innkeeper smiled with a little shake of her head. "A little dash of jealousy goes far, in my experience. Makes you see what really matters. Mm, hang on, I think I have one here somewhere..." She tucked the empty tray under her arm and rustled around in her apron, before pulling out a little flower made of folded scrap-cloth, no bigger than a thimble. "For you, and the story. We've got this tradition here of giving these as blessings to happy couples, and I just had a feeling about you two when you stepped in."

"Thank you," Hvass smiled, sitting up to take it. "We'll cherish it."

She nodded in approval and let them eat in peace. It took Hvass far longer than it should've for him to let go of Ari's hand, and he looked away, clearing his throat self-consciously, the tips of his ears red.

(313)

Aristedes

He didn't pull his hand back right away, silent as he eyed Hvass and that flower his servant had placed on the table between them.

'I just had a feeling about you two.'

Aristedes hummed quietly, turning the innkeeper's words this way and that as he rubbed his knuckles lightly, but the warmth of Hvass' touch continued to linger, intimately felt even when he picked up his drink again as calmly as he could. Why did Hvass bring up that man, or more importantly, why did he go that far just now with his joke by claiming to have harbored such feelings for him..?

He couldn't have downed his cup of sweet wine fast enough, barely noticing its wonderful aroma with his heart continuing to beat as fast as it did. He dared to tempt his servant's avoidant gaze in spite of it, his smile much softened when he beckoned Hvass to face him properly. "C-come now, you needn't lower your head for saying what we both know to be true."

Although meant to be nothing more than a mutual jest, it was now in earnest that Aristedes continued to lean into their game of deception, restless behind his calm eyes. The memory of Hvass' arms wrapped around him tight felt all too recent all of a sudden, as did the sights of the many possible futures he had caught glimpses of in the past, all abandoned for a reason or another.

"It was a long time ago, I know this too, but... How do you feel now?" He tilted his head at Hvass, studying the man he'd shared his life and secrets with for a number of years.

"Jealous over me still, husband?" The lord asked sweetly as he broke off a few pieces from the loaf. His stomach growled then, eliciting an embarrassed chuckle he wrote off with a sigh before murmuring: "I dread the thought of treating you unkindly, when you go to the lengths you do to take this good care of me."

(337)

Hvass

Hvass found it difficult to look up from his own bowl as he reached for a spoon, feeling his boldness catch up to him at last. His nerves were singing with tension, even as he fought to look like he knew what he was doing. "You treat me better than I deserve. And yes, still - were we to ever cross paths with that man again, I'd punch first and ask his motives second. He has much to answer for after breaking your heart so terribly." He ate a bit, mulling over whether to continue. "I was glad the cobbler treated you better. He seemed a decent sort."

He'd leave it at that, neither putting his feelings into it nor truly answering the question. It wasn't his place to pass judgement on who Aristedes spent the night with. He managed to ask if Ari wanted his wine cup refilled before they were interrupted again, this time by the pair of sighing girls.

"This is for you," The fair blonde said, handing over a petite cloth flower to join the first one. "And, um. This here is Rosie," She shrugged one shoulder to the girl practically hiding behind her who eyed Hvass shyly. "She was wondering if you two had any good marriage advice? You two seem so good for each other, we were just curious."

(224)

Aristedes

"Advice? For such sweet looking lasses..?" Ari repeated, baffled as he glanced at his companion, his half-eaten piece of bread left standing in the bowl of piping hot stew. He had meant to ask about what Hvass had just said, his brow furrowed still at the mention of a cobbler and their assumed quality of character.

Who... Who was Hvass talking about? The one Ari had taken to bed a few months back, when the first snow had just fallen, before they left the town? Hvass knew about it? But why would he bring it up in relation to Mordreaux? Did Hvass think that he actually felt something for a dalliance he could barely recall in detail now...?

Aristedes glimpsed a look at this Rosie before meeting the other girl's eyes, his racing thoughts hidden behind a placid smile, turning radiant the moment he turned to Hvass, emboldened by the string of escalating questions he couldn't shake.

Of course he would know about the dalliances. Have thoughts about them. Opinions of some sort.

"For a good marriage..." He said evenly and reached over the table, gentle as he took that second flower from his companion's palm, "It is important to always remember what is it that you have, and remind your beloved of what they mean to you." He was careful not to knock over anything; to not let anyone know how his heart pounded as he placed that little cloth flower behind his servant's ear. Anyone except Hvass.

What other unspoken things did he know about?

"To let them know often how irreplaceable they are to you. How you long for them when they are away, even if for a moment - or how it inflames you every time they look your way even years later."

He leaned back with a faint grin, pleased and his cheeks as rosy as ever. "And to say thank you when they swear to avenge your broken heart. It's only polite, wouldn't you say?"

(330)

Hvass

The girls nodded at the last question, both transfixed on the exchange of Aristedes pleased and calm, and his powerful companion reduced to reddened cheeks at the cloth flower in his hair. He'd never heard such words even remotely aimed at him, real or pretend - his old partner Kalia had ever been the blunt type - and it left his limbs weak as he tried to hide behind his own wine cup.

"A-and you?" Rosie whispered, her gaze greedily taking in his shy reaction.

He downed the cup as quickly as he could before answering. Never had he been so tormented with something he shouldn't want, and yet, he kept wanting to continue. Ari was just too kind, too perfect, and he was enjoying this too much.

"It's..." He cleared his throat. "...the little things. Knowing preferences. Cherishing them. Showing that you remember all the little things they've shared with you in your actions and decisions." Which they both did. Just as Ari knew Hvass' preferences and wordlessly included them in acts of consideration, so did Hvass, in every decision he made to make them more comfortable in their day-to-day.

"You're building a life with them, essentially." He dared to look up at last, giving Ari a tender look, eyes crinkling. "Might as well enjoy it. And sprinkle in a few jests here and there, just to liven things." Like this one. Just a jest.

(234)

Aristedes

It wasn't only the shy 'rose' who all but devoured that utterly tender look. "Anything to make them happy," Ari fumbled to say with a nod, finding himself unwilling to look away from Hvass' adoring smile.

Right, this was nothing more than a jest. A show they were putting up not only for the amusement of the onlookers like these two young ladies, or the plucky matron, but each other as well, upping the ante in shared understanding with each exchange of loving praises. He shouldn't forget that, but Hvass was so convincing, so very different from his usual self but at the same time not.

But if his companion was enjoying this to such a convincing degree too, perhaps it was alright to be just a little bit earnest. He did want to make Hvass feel good and laugh after all.

With the indirect permission to continue with their soft-spoken teasing, Aristedes nodded and exhaled, "And... At the end of the day, it is those little things that matter the most." He didn't lean closer, didn't coo, but half-whispered, "It is a rare gift. To have someone know you so well and see them care for you still. To have them let you so close, and I assure you that such gestures never go unnoticed. If the person cares for you truly, never would they tarnish or disregard such earnest kindness."

Luba peeked from underneath the table then, its ears relaxed and eyes friendly, tail wagging vigorously against Hvass' knee as the blonde let the three-legged dog sniff her hand, looking just like any other dog.

The girls seemed pleased with their answers, all smiles and held back whispers, but as they continued to linger, the lord prodded gently, his hunger merely temporarily forgotten by the surprise of seeing his servant flirt so sweetly, effortlessly flustering him beneath the confident shell, "Anything else on your minds?"

(311)

Hvass

The blonde, having knelt to say hello to Luba, looked up to her friend. Rosie opened her mouth to try and answer Ari's last question, but one glance at the way Hvass was leaning his elbow onto the table and smiling into his palm was enough to make her shake her head and dash off. The friend rose with an exasperated shake of her head, thanked them both, and chased after her.

Hvass didn't notice, running Ari's words over and over in his head. The wine was starting to settle and turn the tension in his limbs into warmth, and he felt so, so greedy for enjoying this. The pretense itself made his stomach flutter, but it was the appreciation underneath it all that he craved, the fact that the jest was played equally rather than rebuffed or gently shut down. Ari allowed this and returned it, just for him.

Affection swelled in his chest, holding him in its welcomed fierce grip, all too aware of the flower behind his ear. A rare gift indeed.

They ate in relative peace after that, finishing the wine and sharing bits of the stew with Luba under the table to make sure he was fed, a familiar or not. When they finally rose, Hvass felt comfortably dizzy, thoughts swirling with thoughts of him as he paid the innkeeper and retrieved their room key. Was it indulgent to carry their saddlebags on one arm and offer the other to Ari while they went upstairs? Absolutely, but the smile he got in return was more than worth it.

They rounded the corner of the hall and unlocked the door, and Hvass let down the bags first and foremost behind the door, rising with a deep sigh that they could finally relax -

....

....till it hit him that there was only one bed in the room, covered in a homemade quilt and strewn with more of those cloth flowers. (How many did they have?)

Hvass stared at the bed, thoughts warmly sluggish as Luba went straight for the little fireplace. Then he turned and said, "I'll take the floor, shall I,"

(350)

Aristedes

"What? Absolutely not," Aristedes blurted out. He was clinging to Hvass' arm still, having barely taken in the room and its sole bed with his thoughts comfortably fuzzy from the wine and their closeness. There was the familiar scent, too, the telltale mixture of woodland soil, wool and fur that continued to hold him in its grip after having made him close his eyes in comfort and lean against Hvass while they had languidly climbed up the stairs together.

It hit the lord then properly, the source of Hvass' sudden hesitation to enter further, just like the true depth of his tipsiness hit them both the second he gently let go of his servant's elbow, breathing a soft 'oops' as he swayed a little.

His step was steady enough though, and he dropped his bundled up cloak on the nearest chair as he eyed the bed with its many tokens of love and good luck, taking in the rest of the room in equally calm silence. He sat down among the cloth flowers with a light huff, seemingly unbothered as he sighed with a smirk. "I forbid such nonsense. We traveled nearly all day again, so don't even think saying you 'needn't any comforts', dear."

There was no need for them to continue playing into the joke. Not with them alone and the door locked.

It was easier to think otherwise as Aristedes found himself continuing in a murmur, his eyes half-lidded as he stared up at Hvass, "No companion of mine sleeps on the floor and you least of all, K... Koszmar."

His gaze was warm, inviting almost. It was the wine, surely, making his face heat up and say such silly things, but sharing a bed was nothing new to them. There... there was no reason to be modest all of a sudden, was there? It was all a jest.

(312)

Hvass

Hvass froze entirely. His master was inviting him to the only bed with that half-lidded look, essentially winding his true name around his wrist and tugging him closer. Hvass literally stumbled from it, his name locked in his chest like a physical thing, and gods he was already weak from their back-and-forth from before. Did his weakness show on his face?

He couldn't refuse him, would never dare. His well-meaning protests died in his throat as he raked his gaze across him, while all the thoughts Hvass tried so desperately to shove down churned under the surface. His heart pounded in his ears the longer he thought of sharing the bed, hazy and warm from wine. Ari was temptation itself, everything he held precious in the entire world; his breath hitched, and he ached to give in to the fantasy Ari offered. But that's all it was.

"And what of your comforts?" He breathed at last, coming closer. "What of your tiredness from the road, 'riding for hours on end'?" He threw Ari's earlier taunting back at him as gently as he could, kneeling in front of him. "Tell me how best to serve you."

He meant it earnestly. If he couldn't refuse, if he couldn't lean into the game of pretend, maybe he could hide behind innocent service. He could think of nothing else when he burned for more than he deserved, hands clenched in his lap.

(238)

Aristedes

A sharp inhale was the only sound he made as Hvass knelt before him, so readily and earnestly. He mulled over that offer, watching his servant with sudden alertness through the fog of pleasant warmth. He shouldn’t have stopped to think about it in the first place; servitude was precisely Hvass’ role, his half of their agreement, but after having his earlier crass joke thrown back at him, that straightfaced offer felt like anything but to Aristedes.

He lowered his eyes to Hvass’ lap, to his white knuckles and the disguised manacles anyone else would assume to be bracers of iron. To his strong hands that had held him as Hvass himself had dreamt of sin with warm lips and scruffy chin pressed to Ari's shoulder and...

"T-take these off," Ari breathed, sitting straight as he lifted his long robe to reveal his fine leather boots, tightened around the ankles. Perfect for long travel and absolutely not what he needed now. He gripped the fabric of his robe harder than he intended, waiting with growing tension he hadn't meant to make real.

He thought back on the blunt admission of jealousy, the gentle touch that had made his knuckles tingle and heart constrict, but most of all he thought about that honest hunger he'd seen in his servant's eyes when he’d stumbled forward. He'd seen it in the past, that kindling of something that went beyond a simple craving. He’d seen it when he'd opened a vein to feed the monster; when Hvass had stumbled upon him lounging nigh naked on furs after a long bath.

It hadn't been flirting, but the things they had said downstairs had scarcely been false either, merely various truths colored in different light that Ari struggled to unsee now.

He could hear his own heartbeat quicken when he spoke, eyes resting upon Hvass’ bowed head. “You promised to care for me, did you not?” Whatever was written on his face wasn't a jest no more, and Ari feared to know the answer. He didn't wish to, not even as he ran his fingers through Hvass’ loosely tied hair.

(354)

Hvass

"Always," He whispered, closing his eyes to the feeling of being touched. "Anything for you."

How many times had he repeated those loyal words over the years? Anything Ari asked of him was law, and he leaned into the sanctuary of obedience. He took Ari's foot and propped it up on his own thigh, holding it stable as he started untying the laces. They really were of marvelous craftsmanship, and he despised them. Even the inside tongue was patterned, and he took his time taking off one shoe, then another, and tossing them in the farthest corner away from the fireplace, with the socks soon to follow. He couldn't wait till that pair was worn down and barely fit to throw to Luba to chew on.

He was so spiteful of the cobbler, even months later. But it was Hvass in the end who got to run his hands over Ari's bare feet and up his calves, releasing the tension of the day. It was Hvass who stayed in Ari's company, Hvass who got to covet him through his devotion when no one else could. This was better than the cobbler would ever know.

(194)

Aristedes

He shivered at that touch, far more greedy in its reverent silence than anything he could recall from their shared years. The life before it on the other hand... Well, that belonged to another version of him, the one that had once wished to grow old with Elianore and - if Grace should allow it - pass away together one day so neither would know loneliness again. That dream had long since been shattered by his own hands, leaving him astray in the wake of their family's tragic separation.

Or that would've been his fate, had Hvass not been there to catch him when Mordreaux too eventually left him behind; a lord with an immortal life at his hands and nothing to hold onto, apart from dubious, terrifying visions of future and a stray rumor that his House had not in fact perished but instead had settled down in a distant land, and continued to do their best to survive. That, and this monster of his.

With a shaky breath Ari let go of his hem, leaning forward just enough to cradle Hvass' scarred face, ever gentle.

"Come closer," He heard himself beg in a hoarse whisper, the floorboards underneath his soles cold enough to make his hair stand on end as he parted his legs, asking the man who loved him to rise with everything he had. "Please."

(227)

Hvass

Hvass shifted up from sitting on his own calves to fully kneeling, answering his master's pleading without hesitation. The tone of it, so needful and sweet, stirred that undercurrent of greed, and he lied to himself in order to be swept in its tide. (It's only a jest, it's just because he ordered it, all lies and he knew it.)

He ran his broad hands up Ari's thighs as he leaned into the space between his legs. Up his hands went, running up Ari's back and shoulderblades, pressing him against his chest and enveloping him in a warm embrace.

That still wasn't enough. He rubbed the knots in his master's shoulders, up his neck and into his hair, using his strength just to hear him moan into Hvass' ear. He wanted to hear it - he wanted to be the one making those sounds.

He turned his head into the crook of Ari's neck, lips parting to say something he shouldn't, deaf to the sounds of little claws on wood coming closer. All he knew was Luba bumping into him hard enough to lose his balance, making him topple over Ari onto the bed.

"Luba!" He looked over his shoulder, seeing their faithful hound pant as innocent as could be. Then he turned to look down at Ari, apology dying in his throat to see him underneath him like every single fantasy he never should've had.

(235)

Aristedes

Aristedes didn't dare to speak. He hardly dared to breathe as a craven need kept tying his stomach in vicious knots under Hvass' weight.

He had sighed against his servant's shoulder, having all but melted under those coarse hands as Hvass had pulled him close and made him moan so softly, his shaky voice hardly louder than a whisper. He had held onto Hvass' shoulders in turn, eyes closing and jaw clenching as he had felt warm breaths tickle his neck, but now he was completely still, stunned as he stared up at the wanting he saw in Hvass' reddened face.

His hair was dotted with those handmade flowers, a dim halo of red in the fireplace's flickering light, but all Ari himself saw was Hvass. All he could think of, too, feeling his throat tighten as they lingered in such a compromising position.

He said nothing when he unbuttoned his shirt, opening it enough for his scarred clavicles to peek from behind the fabric. With a tense glance he bared his throat, lips barely parted in shallow breaths, his knees pressing into Hvass' sides. Even within the thick haze of pleasant drunkenness and budding want, Ari was trembling, his usual confidence fading fast as he waited for Hvass to take him up on that offer.

It wasn't an order, but gods if an awful part of him didn't wish it was.

(231)

Hvass

The sight below him seized Hvass, drowning out anything else. His pupils dilated, fixated on every button undone, and when Ari tilted his head back to offer his throat, the tide of wanting roared over Hvass and swallowed him whole.

He slowly leaned down, consumed by the heat of their bodies pressed together, with Hvass' hips between Ari's legs that held him. This close, he could drink in the smell of him, could brush his nose under the turn of Ari's jaw. His lips parted, so close that his breath rushed over Ari's bare skin, sharp teeth skimming just barely, leaving a trail of prickled goosebumps in its wake. Hvass' grip on the sheets tightened, taken by a maddeningly dark craving as he heard how hard and fast Ari's heart was running and how he trembled.

He took all of that greed, that desire to sink his teeth in and devour him, and held it in a tight grip.

And instead of pain, he gave Ari the faintest kiss on his scarred collarbones, the place marked with runes to protect Ari from him. It was a gesture of worship, and he pressed his brow against it like one would an idol of the Patrons, staying there for a long moment before he lifted himself and rolled over flat onto his back, covering his eyes in the crook of his arm.

All he saw behind his eyelids was Ari underneath him, the image burned into his thoughts. He'd never be rid of it now. He released a shuddering sigh, cursing the wine, the flowers, the innkeeper, and meddling Luba who half-clambered onto the corner of the bed, panting happily.

(278)

Aristedes

He opened his eyes at that exhale, turning to quietly look at Hvass as the tension fled his body, leaving behind only a conflicted tangle of thoughts and unwanted desires. The silent rejection cut through the fluffy haze, and it was then that Ari released a shivering sigh of his own as he sat up in quiet horror.

He had nearly crossed a line.

Brushing the flowers from his partially braided hair, he hastily pulled his shirt closed as he murmured in a low voice, looking away as he did so, "I'm- I'm sorry."

He wouldn't let this happen again.

"I forgot myself there," Ari managed to say, his expression joyless and stiff, the earlier warmth having turned to painful shame he hid from his servant. He had promised to himself to be better than this, to not sink so low in his selfishness and desire for comfort, and he barely noticed the way he hugged his own middle as his thoughts proceeded to tear at him. An image of something flickered at the edge of his vision, but he pushed it away willfully, ignoring whatever premonitions his magic was trying to torment him with this time.

He couldn't lose Hvass too. Even if the desire had been mutual, he couldn't. Neither could he rob his servant of the stability and comfort their working relationship provided to them both, that simple yet deeply felt bond that kept them afloat.

Losing him- losing that would be too hefty a price to pay for something like this, sickly sweet as the moment had been in its dizzying heat.

(266)

Hvass

Hvass lifted the arm up over his eyes and leaned up on his elbow, frowning at the tone he heard in that apology. Then he saw the way he held himself and his chest tightened in worry, all lust forgotten to see him feel so low.

"Ari," He said in a hush, sitting up so he could run a comforting hand up Ari's back. "You've nothing to apologize for. It was me who started the jest, I was simply -" Enjoying it too much. He swallowed those words down and gently pulled Ari to rest against him. "Simply caught up in it."

"Can I still take care of you?" He asked gently. "There's still the matter of setting a bath, and I'd like to comb your hair before bed. I won't sleep on the floor, I promise." He stroked Ari's hair, and Luba climbed onto the bed, sniffing them both with a lowered head and moving in to lick Ari's chin. Hvass smiled. "Luba is here for you too."

(168)

Aristedes

He couldn't help but chuckle faintly at the hound's attempt to cheer him up, grimacing as he gently raised his hand to block any further face licks. "At ease. It's just the wine - you know I'm a lightweight when it comes to these things," Ari sighed over his shoulder to soothe Hvass, a blatant lie or not.

And so, despite the shock and horror at his own lapse of judgement, Ari found himself leaning to his servant's chest. He rested his head against the man's shoulder, ashamed for how much it comforted him and he said, "I'm fine." Hvass knew him well. All too well, really. He knew just what to say to reassure him when it should've been the other way around, and that if anything made the lord's heart ache this sharply.

He had all this gentle care solely for himself, and still - even if only for a moment - he had dared to ask for more. It would've been a lie to claim he felt deserving of any of it in that moment after pushing his companion so, but Aristedes didn't pull away all the same.

"I'd like that," He finally replied. Softly, eyes closing at the fingers brushing through his hair. "All of it, though a bath sounds heavenly right about now." Hvass was too kind, and Aristedes but a poor master.

He'd need to do better.

(238)

Hvass

Hvass nodded, calming down from Ari's answer even as his thoughts swirled in their own turmoil. The tub was behind the only wooden screen in the room, Hvass could see two laden buckets against the wall, ready to heat. He asked softly if Ari would use his magic to pull the buckets to hang over the fire, if only to hold him a little longer, with Luba curled up in Ari's lap.

He wasn't entirely sure what had caused his master's abrupt mood shift, going so quickly from teasing to repentance. Hvass' first thought was that it was his own fault, that his overtures were frightening when the wine wore off. But Ari had invited him closer every step of the way, and he didn't lean away now. He wanted to pour over what had happened as he stroked Ari's hair, but whatever the cause, it wouldn't happen again. It'd been a temporary lapse of judgement, a jest taken a step too far. That's all.

He just hoped Ari wouldn't look at him differently as a result of it. That he wouldn't lose these moments of closeness.

It was time to rise when he heard the buckets start to boil, and he needed to fetch enough to fill the tub from downstairs. With quiet murmurings and a lingering touch to his master's shoulder, he departed for the stairs, closing the bedroom door softly behind him. He only got as far as the end of the hall when he stopped short, trying not to bump into the shy woman from before. Rosie, he recalled.

(263)

Rosie

"Oh-!" Rosie exclaimed in surprise, pulling her hands to her bosom reflexively. Her fairheaded friend was nowhere to be seen, but instead of turning around and running off with a rushed apology, the young woman collected herself, much to her own surprise too.

"Ah... Um, Hvass, wasn't it?" She asked, her voice soft and surprisingly melodious for how quiet it was even in the near silent hallway. She brushed a long lock of curls behind her ear, revealing a pretty sterling earring that hadn't been there before. Looking at her now, the earring wasn't the only thing that was different about the young woman, rather sweet with her dark eyelashes and round cheeks. Her silken hair was untied, her heavy overskirt nowhere to be seen, wearing instead a dark green shawl over her white cotton dress for added warmth and modesty, generous as its neckline was.

She brought to mind the first of spring flowers with her fiery copper hair - a tulip bulb peeking from the snow, ready to bloom.

She met Hvass' eyes without flinching, smiling shyly as the blush from before returned to her face. "Is this... Is this a bad moment? You see, I asked the innkeeper for your room number, but now you are here and..." 'Ah shoot', she mumbled under her breath before concluding, "I wished to talk to you."

(227)

Hvass

Hvass took pause, looking over her and her delicate blush. Was she dressed so fair before? If he was honest with himself, Ari had dominated his thoughts so completely that he couldn't be sure. But he softened in response to her shy question, taking a step to give her room to speak. "Not a bad moment at all," He lied. "I'm just collecting water for -" 'My husband' suddenly caught in his throat, and he coughed, his ears red. "-for Aristedes. To bathe. The road was long today."

"Is something the matter?" He continued, then more softly, "No one's troubling you, I hope. I can scare off anyone untoward if you need it." She was such a pretty thing that he wouldn't be surprised, and he wouldn't mind repaying her for the flower.

(132)

Rosie & Aristedes

Rosie shook her head, visibly relaxing at seeing Hvass blush ever so slightly when speaking of his red-haired partner. She exhaled deep and her smile couldn't have been more warm and... sweet. As sweet as someone like her could be, anyway, a hapless maiden smitten with two travelers and what they could offer. Oh, Patrons, she couldn't chicken out now, could she?

"Nothing of the sort, or... ah, well..." She replied quietly as she felt the nervousness return. Gosh, how could someone so kind have such intense eyes? Rosie didn't hear a door creak open at the end of the hallway as she tried to find the right words, and neither did Hvass it seemed like. Aristedes was about to call out to Hvass to fetch himself something pleasant from the kitchen while at it, but silenced himself just in time to see the young woman from before to step closer to Hvass and sweetly say - 

"Please forgive me, sir, if this is too forward of me, but..." Rosie looked aside, pulling her shawl closer to her neck as her blush deepened, "Would you and your husband spend the night with me?" 

"I'm of little experience, but after seeing you two talk and be sweet to one another, I... I felt like you'd be gentle to... me... too." She didn't dare to look up, hiding her flustered smile behind the edge of her shawl. "I know I'm no fine lady, but it'd be my pleasure to ease your burden."

(248)

Hvass

She -

Spend the -

Both of -

Hvass froze utterly, his skin turning a deep shade of crimson as her request sank in. A strangled sound escaped his throat, and he let out the air in his lungs very slowly, absolutely scrambling for words, any words at all. He couldn't throw his shaken nerves onto her, he knew that, but the timing of it all -

"....Rosie," He breathed, barely audible. "I'm - I'm honored, truly. It's been..." He faltered, trying to remember. "...decades since I was seen as 'gentle' by anyone other than Aristedes." More so frightening, monstrous, something to hunt down.

"I can't speak on his behalf, but I.....he's - I'm only gentle because of him. He's my...my everything." He looked down, one hand clutching at the tunic over his ribs as the emotion of the day poured out of him to this lovely near-stranger. "I owe everything I am to him."

He looked up then, brows drawn. "You're more than lovely, Rosie, I'm just - he's...he's all I see." All he wanted.

(172)

Rosie & Aristedes

She tried to be mature about it. Kindly, just like Hvass was being right now as he did his apparent best to turn down her amorous offer as gently as possible. She managed it rather well on her own end, apart from the dejected sigh that was followed by a slight nod - it stung a little but as far as rejections went, she couldn't have hoped for anything more honest. Her suggestion had been pretty bold to begin with, after all.

Watching Hvass, Rosie mulled over his words for a few seconds before asking softly: "You love him that much?" It was an honest question, driven by curiosity and something resembling kind-hearted envy, if such a thing could exist.

The said lord in the meantime had quietly retreated back to the room, hand resting on the door handle as he listened to the exchange. His heart was racing, the calm Hvass had wrapped him into forgotten as he held his breath to hear his servant's answer.

(166)

Hvass

"Yes," came the answer without a moment of hesitation. It sounded like a confession to even Rosie, something he dared to say, as much as she had dared to ask. "With all that I am."

He made further murmurings to her, trying to smooth over both of their startled nerves out of consideration, and asked if she wanted to accompany him while he fetched water from downstairs. They rounded the corner together out of sight, and a quiet 'damn' could be heard at the opposite end of the hall as the blonde friend rose from her hiding place and left on her own.

When Hvass came back, carrying four heavy pails on his shoulders like they weighed nothing at all, his eyes were downcast and his tone had  returned. For all he moved in setting down the pails, it was if nothing had happened at all. "Apologies for taking so long," He said quietly,  rolling his shoulders with a sigh. "I hope the buckets haven't cooled -" He turned, blinking. "Master? Is something the matter?"

(174)

Aristedes

"Hm?" Ari glanced up from the pillows, holding one of the cloth flowers idly between his fingers, which he then pocketed with a small smile. He shook his head, sitting up properly, "Everything is alright. I..." Overheard everything. "...was just thinking about how lucky we are to be here with that snowfall outside."

"The wind is rising, you can hear it rattle the shingles," The lord continued to murmur, but the promised snowstorm, the wind's fierce howls, and the noise it all would make were of little concern to him in truth. He wouldn't be able to sleep either way. Not after hearing that confession.

He moved to quietly sit on the edge of the bed, petting Luba's fur as he watched Hvass hoist the pails over the fire. He wanted to ask about it, to know if the man had truly meant it or if he had simply wanted to reject the lass as kindly as he could, but no matter how strongly the question burned his tongue, Aristedes couldn't say it.

What if it was true? What if it wasn't? Either way, how cruel of a master such ardent words could make of him. Even if the feeling was mutual, even if Hvass felt this same longing he still did despite swearing to never act on it again, how could he ever embrace it? Knowing that his servant saw no other worth to his life except how useful he felt to his master, making him a subject of his whims without a question? How could the lord know he wasn't doing ill by his servant?

In the end Aristedes kept it all to himself as he made room for Hvass to sit next to him, turning his back to him so his braids could be undone while the water heated. Instead, he turned the question around, his heart concealed by the impersonal curiosity, "Hvass, humor me a little.... Is there someone you like? We travel a lot, I know, but surely you've come across some interesting people while doing odd jobs... Right?"

(344)

Hvass

Hvass sat behind him, the bed creaking under his weight as he pulled a comb from their pack. "Someone I-?" He was startled at first, wondering if this tied to their earlier moment of indiscretion, but it was said too calmly, he thought. He unwove Ari's small braids one by one, mulling over the question.

"Not...particularly." He answered after a while. He held Ari's hair as he combed it, preventing the tangles from hurting his scalp. "We pass by too many people for me to linger over them long. And I'm too old, besides." He combed one lock till it shone in amber hues in the firelight, and he admired it with half-lidded eyes. "I don't know if I have the heart to give all over again, especially when it could only mean goodbye when you and I leave."

And he preferred it that way. He didn't want to care for anyone else but him. He was safe, and kind, and offered him everything he needed. Ari was his safe haven, and no one else could compare.

"Why do you ask?" He returned, glancing to the turn of Ari's cheek.

(191)

Aristedes

He was silent for a beat, appreciative of the gentle care Hvass definitely didn't need to shower him with yet did so anyway. He felt adored, content in a way, but also all the more troubled and greedy in the light of Hvass' answer that was much different from the blunt confession of love.

Would his servant's answer have been different, if they hadn't shared the same house, the same routines, the same life in every town they had settled in and called home in the past? Goodbyes hadn't stopped the lord himself from meeting new people, after all, keen as he was to use his time however he saw best fit when apart from Hvass even for a moment.

It shouldn't be any different for his servant, really, yet Aristedes found himself struggling to reply, eventually merely shrugging and saying, "Hard not to think about such with all this talk about happy couples. It reminded me of your... daughter, and whether you ever longed for a life like hers, given the chance." He paused to hum at the soft touch, continuing then with some hesitation, "That's... that's all."

(189)

Hvass

Hvass paused mid-stroke. It was utterly rare for Ari to bring up either of the families, both understanding how painful it was to even think over them for too long.  But he gathered the point of it.

"I'm not lonely, if that troubles you," He said softly, continuing until Ari's hair was falling in straight waves. "I wouldn't trade a settled life for the one we have. I have everything I need in serving you."

He already had a chance to settle down, and it ended in death and destruction. There was no point to it without Ari keeping him in check, and Hvass would follow him to the ends of the earth if that's what he wished.

He motioned for Ari to tilt his head back to enjoy running the comb all through his hair, then tied it all up with a leather thong for the bath, his gaze lingering on the few strands clinging to Ari's throat he'd almost...

...no, he wouldn't want for more than he already had. He could arrange Ari's bath, pour in a bottle of sweet smelling oil the innkeeper pressed on him downstairs, and ready for bed, relying on the screen to separate them both as they undressed.

He was happy. He loved Ari, more than anyone else. He didn't need more than that.

(221)

Aristedes

Aristedes nodded at the answer, but it was anyone's guess what he really meant when he said "You're good to me," before disappearing behind that screen, throwing his clothes over it a moment later.

He climbed in the tub quietly, letting the warmth envelop him as he leaned against its wooden edge in a weary sigh. He adored Hvass, his pillar of strength and security, but he couldn't be Hvass' everything. No matter how deeply he felt for him, Hvass was his servant. Not a partner - couldn't be, not with the way things stood - why else would he have rejected his invitation only at the last possible moment?

The possibility of ruining their both's lives for his selfish desires was too big of a risk to take.

But what else was there to be done, that he'd need to figure it out another day, another moment when his cheeks didn't burn this brightly at the thought of those teeth against his throat. He'd figure out something, the lord swore and let his eyes close as the storm raged outside the round window.

(182)