Basil and Scarlett

“I’m going to replace you you know,” Scarlett said. 

“You’re kidding,” said Basil looking him over. “You don’t stand a chance. You don’t even know how to hold a gun.”

“I don’t need to. I’m going to replace you as the one he can’t function without,” Scarlett explained. 

“Wait… you’re telling me you’re jealous?” Questioned Basil. “Of me?” He wanted to laugh. That was the most absurd thing he had heard. “Well I can assure you you’re already the lap dog I’ll never be. You come to his ever beck and call. What more could he want?” 

“But he’s always talking about you!” Explained Scarlett his hands running through his hair. “Always ranting and raving about something you did! It’s always Basil this or Basil that!”

“Oh I piss him off all right,” said Basil with a smug grin. “Don’t know why that makes you want to be me. Do you just crave attention that bad? He gives you enough. And it’s all undeserved and positive. Not sure why you choose to complain. Look,” Basil continued. “He talks about me too much and it pisses you off. He pisses me off and I piss him off. Join the club. No one here really likes anyone else. It’s all just business. He can’t just get rid of me and unfortunately I can’t just shrug him either. But you. You’re different. You don’t offer anything. Yet he likes you unconditionally. Don’t test your luck. Accept what you got and roll with it before he changes his mind.”