Cavernous Dining

For all of Jude’s life, there had never before been an event as purely concentratedly awkward as his run in with Choleric. What had started as a perverse meeting with a flamboyant cult leader had led the whole of Team Hierophant into realizing how lonely its individual members were- as, even with each other, guildwork was still work and everyone knew that only having friends from work was lame.

Jude, being the headstrong master strategist he was, barged right into town and entered the first building he could legally get into. A gothic library. 

Immediately, everything turned out to be a disaster- for anyone who wasn’t Jude. That beautifully fat-assed duck positively tanked every ounce of social ineptitude with flinching. Every deadpan statement was met with an equally impassive rebuttal and every second of silence between their words dragged on for an eternity each. Jude even accepted that blasted candy bar- and since he didn’t have pockets he just held it!

And when- when Stan entered the scene, with Mari in tow no less, the utter wall of manifested cringe was enough to have the Farfehita mirror the face of a teacher who just witnessed his least favorite student draw a bare ass on his white board. At the end of it, they decided to ditch the library and do the one thing Jude did when he felt surly.

Go out to eat.

Jude didn’t take the Sylveon just anywhere, though. He took him past the labyrinth of hovels making up the city and past the quaint fields right outside that town and out to a clearing, bordering a forest and an almost-lake. Within that clearing was a mound- one vaguely hill shaped and hill vibed. And in that hill was a proper team base, built into a cave blocked by a wee door.

Luckily for the bird and cat/fox/dog/weird-ferret, food was already cooking.

A cacophony of pans and screaming rice was sharted out of the main room like a serenade from a fresh eunuch and Kera violently blitzed around. Vegetables flew, butter sizzled and a four-handed cat juggled a series of skillets with the wonder of a child bouncing a ball for the first time.

“Don’t forget to season! Season before flipping again, and push the fry to the edge of the pan!” Kera barked at the cat.

“Mhm! Alright! Like- Uh?” The cat had a weird arm, as well. A fourth arm. And a third, but the third wasn’t nearly as interesting as the fourth, as the fourth was metal and made a humorous whirring sound when its digits moved.

Choleric revealed his and Jude’s appearance. He was almost gawking when he did so, too.

“Huh. A Mewtwo?” He gestured to that cat, with the awesome fourth grabbing appendage. Offended, the molly whipped her head towards the two.

“Oh, I’m a Mew, please.” He stated clearly and concisely and unpredictably.

“...Okay?” Choleric had to admit, this whole situation was already far distracting enough. He helped himself to a seat at the Rhombus Shaped Table in the middle of the room. He chose to sit away from any of the multitude of doors that could have potentially stared him down during his meal.

“Kera? Who’s…” After staring for a prolonged period that he would never get back, Jude also waddled for the table, after nodding to the Mew.

“Don’t know! They just showed up and asked for work! Hey! Time to stir your food!” Kera responded.

“I’m Nerevar. Call me Nera, though, please. And it’s he or she.” Nera responded.

“Oh, shit, cool. Now flip it!” Having already sprinted to the other side of the room, thanks to how she had all of her equipment spread out as sporadically as possible, Kera acquired a pair of bowls as she shouted. Dedicated to the craft, Nera furiously heeded the call and began throttling those pans like she was churning butter.

“Huh. Is she joining us?” Jude asked as those bowls puttered in front of him and the Sylveon.

“Dunno! Are ya joining us, Nera?” helpfully inquired Kera. Nera shrugged, utterly devoted to the art of the pan shake. The hamster threw her shoulders in confused agreement before she guided the Mew over to the bowls. “Nice and slow. Don’t shake it out, use the spoon…”

“Ahuh, ahuh,” whispered Nera as she filled those bowls with fried rice and whatever greens and berries they could have easily procured. Both Jude and Choleric shared romantic looks of complete deadpanned stoicism and, when Nera finished, they were quick to dig in, both varying shades of cleanliness.

Naturally, Kera and her new sidekick had made an abundance of food- it wasn’t like they were cooking for these two, after all.

“Alright! Good first service, hoe!” Kera said.

“It’s Nera, please. And sweet!” Nera finger gunned the world with a whopping four different cat paw pistols.

“Mm. Goodluck.” Jude waved away, and the two were left to their devices.

Where they did just about absolutely nothing. A few bits of small talk here and there were more than enough for two most awkward Pokemon on the continent.