What's up with the Jar of Man

You're probably seen Jar of Man memes finding their way into every corner of all major social media platforms. Arabelean users, especially the high-northerners, have been sharing these memes day and night, much to the confusion of their Cerulean friends. This article is designed to be a sort of one-in-all guide to the mysterious phenomenon of Jar of Man. This is gonna be a long one, so better get yourself a snack, or don't, I'm not your mother. 

And yes, before you run down to the comment section to spam hat emojis and such, we have to put a disclaimer: The Jar of Man is an actual historical artifact and can be in fact visited in the Shtarverter Museum in Barren Gates, Tarrterra. But if you do decide to travel up there to visit it, be nice! The museum doesn't deserve rude crowds just because it has a silly jar in its collection. End of disclaimer.

The Jar of Man has become and Internet sensation overnight, but this isn't its first clash with fame...or infamy, that is. In fact, the discovery of Jar of Man almost exactly 200 years ago kicked up quite a storm both among historians and the general population. The accounts of the archeologists who discovered the Jar are plentiful and offer us many perspectives on the whole ordeal. Apparently, when it was first found in the recently made excavation site near Fort Rose, the Jar of Man made any man who held it seriously ill. Some even claim that a few of the ill people eventually died due to the exposure to the Jar, but that is yet to be proven even 200 years later. Some readers might know the Jar of Man from the statements of tourist goers who claim that the "damn jar kept looking at them" throughout their visit. Over the years, the Jar of Man has earned quite a reputation.

For those uninformed (though I doubt there are many of you), the Jar of Man is exactly what it says on the tin: it's a Jar...and some people believe that the contents of the jar used to be a Man. Like a whole man.
The Jar itself has been dated to originate around the end of the Age before the Eclipse, but nobody has been able to date the actual stuff within the jar. It's important to mention that actual artifacts have been used before to give the false sense of legitimacy to fake and 'long lost' historical objects, so take this with a grain of salt the size of a large boulder.
The Jar itself has a very simple design, but it's what's on the inside that counts. As far as we know nobody has been able to analyze the goop within the Jar. If you do a basic "browser of your choice" search you can find legitimate videos of the goop moving on its own in a weird fleshy sort of way. Ranna Torvennte, one of the curators of the Shtarverter Museum, said that the goop actually recoiled when she tried to poke it with a letter opener.

Professional internet users have come up with so many out of whack theories about this weird Jar.
As usual, the netizens from Nettapot forums are forerunners in the "who can come up with the dumbest take" competition. User toeWrangle101 has discovered scans of some old documents that claim that the Jar of Man is called that because it actually contains cursed remains of a still-living Rexarian man from the Age before the Eclipse. Why he was cursed or who did it is not certain, and whichever mix of culprits and reasons you pick, we guarantee that there is a theory about it. Currently there are two super popular theories: first claims that the Jar of Man is a failed attempt at making a cure for death, and the second claims that the Jar of Man is some ancient royal who got cursed for meddling with dark forces.
Why the dark forces would choose to stuff a dude in a jar is beyond us.
This theory can be easily debunked when you look into the hilariously-detailed historic records of the Rexaria family from their archives: all members of the immediate family and all of their relatives are accounted for. At the time when the jar was approximately made the Nightlord of Tarrtera was a certain Dame Ferreda Rexaria, who had 3 children, and all of them and their descendants are accounted for. So sorry guys, the Jar of Man is not made up of royal slime.

Scientist theorize that the goop in the jar is some sort of mold ecosystem that has somehow kept itself alive for the past 20 centuries. Any studies on the subject are yet to be published.

At this point, all we have are theories. The Shtarverter Museum has recently made an announcement that their team will no longer be looking into the origins and contents of the Jar of Man. Their decision stems from the Rexarian Crown withdrawing their funding of the project, since there hasn't been any new discoveries regarding the Jar. But since the Jar is now behind a glass panel in the Museum, nobody else can do their own research on it either. Maybe Nettapot user might be right about some sort of grand conspiracy...who knows.

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