synonyms of hatred and love

Aiden was in misery. He woke up every day to no noise and no feeling. Well. Not no feeling entirely, unfortunately. All he really felt was bad. He woke up every day to no noise and misery. He sat up in bed and stared at the top of his canopy, his face flushed and uncomfortable. He was… sweating. He got up and made his way over to his bathroom, washing his face off and feeling the water cool down his face. Looking up at himself in the mirror, he was disgusted with what he saw. A sudden rush of energy and rage filled him, lighting up his eyes and making his heart burn inside of his chest. In a moment of fury, he slammed his fist into his mirror, shattering it. Aiden kept his fist there and screamed. He screamed for his friends, his family, his love- anyone who would listen. But no one did. The blood dripped from his knuckles as the mirror shards fell to the counter in front of him. Panting, he looked back up at the fractured remains. He was sweating again. He couldn’t see it, but could feel it. The grime was all over him, soiling him. Making him impure. He wiped his forehead, smearing blood onto himself in a disgusting baptism of his own sin. He screamed again. This was not a scream of desperation this time, but one of malice. He screamed about himself, his feelings, his life. His throat was hoarse. Aiden collapsed onto the floor, whimpering and cradling his bloodied hand. The sting was… comforting. In a horrible and twisted way. Aiden stood up, wiping his tears away. He knew no one was coming to save him, no matter how hard he wished for it to happen. He walked out into his room, taking his shirt off and wiping his face with it. He felt dirty. Contaminated. He was still burning. He was trying to cool down as best as he could, but the shame and guilt that flooded through him was making him crash into a pit of emotions that threatened to take him down completely. He was in misery.