A Mindfulness Lesson

Six hands were better than two or even four. Different parts of a new vestment were laid out over Hierei's tables, his brother assisting him by sitting in a chair, weaving bone over steel ball bearings.

It was like they were in the Dream, again. The pocket dimension of Nightmare that existed for a cult now long-gone. Working separate but in unison, with emotions not words, creating something holy.

Upton was in his own funk. Despair was strong in his body, a reverent gaze on the orbs as he worked. It was soothing. Both Hierei and Upton did well when doing something repetitive, especially when they were both feeling unwell.

They didn't speak. They didn't need to. The air between them was thick with emotion and Knowing. Just as it always had been. They knew from intent alone what the other was thinking; how they felt, what they wanted to say.

You're not usually like this.

It was the thought shared between them both. "Said" at the same time, a chord struck and it was the same key. Upton wasn't usually so melancholic. Hierei... well, he was often contritional, but he'd gotten better about it.

It will be alright, in the end.

They knew it was true. The grief Upton felt when his friend passed would fade, eventually replacing itself with a dull ache and understanding. Hierei would either get better and do better, or make more mistakes-- but he would move on, regardless. There was no way either brother could stop.

Upton looked up, setting the last of the bone-covered steel balls down into the little tin he'd been putting them in, finally breaking the silence. "Is this what you want to be doing?"

Hierei blinked, looking over. He didn't say it, but Upton knew. Would he be doing it if he didn't?

"You have no Pride in this. In your craftsmanship. You do this out of Fear. To protect yourself. It's a Fear display, to show others you're afraid." Upton frowned a little, looking to the robes.

The very idea of them was to weigh Hierei down. To bind his extra limbs. So he couldn't harm others. So he could consciously think about being better.

Hierei frowned, then, too. He wasn't Proud, no. He opened his mouth, prepared to say that he deserved this, to feel this way--

"You are not the man standing before me today you were yesterday. A year ago. Three years. A decade. You have changed so much, brother. You have learned from your mistakes, and changed for the better." Upton took some of the ball bearings, now wrapped in bone with small closed loops on top. Playing with them in his fingers.

"Then why do I keep making stupid mistakes?"

"Because you are mortal," Upton said, setting his free hand on one of Hierei's. "Because living is hard, and it's difficult to stay mindful."

Upton wove more bone between the bearings, showing Hierei a small, unfinished chord of them. Seven. "You don't need a Fear display. You need to take a moment, sometimes, and evaluate." He handed it up to the taller kaldorei.

Hierei ran his fingers over each of the bearings, now almost like heavy beads. Each one, each, when touched, felt of a different Sin, if only just. Prayer beads.

"I thought you said it was wrong to pray?"

"It isn't wrong to think before you act," Upton said. "And being mindful of the Sins doesn't mean you're praying to them." He smiled. "Something to keep with you, perhaps. If you must, then bring the outfit Aren made for you. Wear your vestments with the Pride of his craftsmanship keeping you safe, comforted, and warm."

Slowly, Hierei nodded, and he put the project away.